Someday Soon
by LoveIsAlwaysLouder
Summary: Josh and Maya are playing the long game. How does their relationship develop over the course of time? Could someday be someday soon? Slow Burn.
1. Chapter 1

Someday Soon

The longest hockey game in history was one hundred seventy six and a half minutes, the longest football game was eighty two minutes and forty seconds. The record for baseball was nearly eight and a half hours. The longest tennis match stretched for eleven hours, and one cricket match stretched across nine days. At some point or another Maya had looked up each of these statistics, making mental notes of these record making game lengths. They didn't mean too much to her as she knew that the game she was playing would stretch for far longer than nine days.

There was no set timeline for the so called "long game". Sometimes Maya wish she had a rule book laid out in front of her, explaining the ins and outs of the game she and josh had entered into, a playbook of sorts. Despite Mayas general confusion she somehow got a thrill of the lack of structure between her and josh. She was living her life as instructed, and so was he, but that didn't mean that Maya couldn't poke fun and flirt whenever the opportunity rose, which was quite often.

Although Josh had settled into life at NYU and was no longer having quite the same struggle with his roommate as before, he still stopped by the Matthews apartment regularly to do this laundry and scrounge food off of his older brother. Maya who was a near permanent fixture at the Matthews residence was often present when Josh dropped by. Sly smiles and flirty remarks were often exchanged, which generally made Riley gag, and on more than one occasion Josh had posed the question "long game?" to her, knowing full well what her answer would be, yet she always echoed his words anyway.

As far as the rest of the world knew nothing much had changed relationship wise between Josh and Maya, but those who were observant could see the changes between the two. Maya tried her best not to fawn over Josh so publicly, but she still flirted at every appropriate opportunity, and rather than brush off her advances Josh would often smile and shake his head knowingly at her.

Maya spent a lot of time pondering at what age it was actually 'appropriate' for her and Josh really become something more. After all people always seemed to say that girls matured far faster than boys. Technically it was legal for her to date Josh right at that very second, but she was pretty sure it wasn't fear of the justice system that was keeping them apart. So sixteen and nineteen wasn't perfect but it wasn't cause to call dateline: to catch a predator. Seventeen and twenty was better, but the more she thought about it the more she thought that someone going into their third year of university probably didn't love the sound of dating a high school senior. However, as soon as she became a freshmen in college, in Maya's mind all bets were off. It sounded perfectly reasonable for any college student to date another, so a senior dating a freshmen in university seemed to be no big deal.

As time passed things began to shift once again between Maya and Josh, slowly at least at first. Although Riley and Maya were still as close of friends as ever their was no doubt that Riley was no dividing her time between her best friend and Lucas her boyfriend. This left Maya with far more free time then she was used to. She could hang around her own apartment if she had wanted to, but both her mother and Shawn were so busy with work that the place was often deserted. As independent and free willed as Maya could be, she didn't particularly love being alone at home. It often felt too quiet to her, despite the noise of the street outside. Due to this fact Maya still spent a lot of time at Riley's apartment, even when her best friend wasn't there. Sometimes she just lounged on the couch, hanging out with Auggie or listening to Corry or Topanga bustling around in the kitchen or the home office. On occasion Josh would happen to swing by the apartment when Maya was there without Riley. During those particular moments, Maya would join Josh in the Matthews laundry room. She would sit on top of the washer or dryer, making fun of Josh's inability to separate his darks and lights. Maya would often sit cross legged on top of the machine, folding the warm clothes fresh out of the dryer while Josh readied the next load and complained about his classes or joked about his crazy and obnoxious roommates or the other people who lived on his floor. There was laundry facilities in his dorm but Josh always lugged his dirty clothing dozens of subway stops to his brothers house. Sometimes, when Josh would look at her a certain way after she told a joke or made a comment it made Maya wonder if he was dropping by to do his laundry so often had more to do with just saving a few quarters.

Josh headed back to Philadelphia over the summer to work for his father's store as well as volunteer at a local teen mental health crisis hotline. After doing a general first year at NYU Josh had finally decided to major in Psychology. This came as no surprise to Maya who was keenly aware of Josh's observation skills and ability to read and assess situations. Maya was disappointed that she wouldn't see Josh all summer but was pleased to find out how easily they kept in contact. Rarely a day went by that they didn't exchange a few texts or tag each other in funny photos on their social media. Riley would sometimes catch her best friend smiling down at her phone. Riley would sneak a peek at Maya's phone screen and then roll her eyes when she say the name of the contact she was texting _Uncle Boing._

It was late August at almost one am when Josh received his first ever phone call from Maya. He had been asleep in his room when his phone screen lite up and began to vibrate audibly. Josh had rolled over in bed and slide his finger across his phone to answer the call without looking at the name to see who was calling.

" hello?" he muttered, his voice thick with sleep.

"Boing!" a loud excited voice came through his phone. Josh winced at the sound but sat up slightly in bed and rubbed his eyes.

"Maya?" he asked slightly confused, as his stomach did a slight flip of what? Excitement?

"Yep." Maya answered, smacking her lips together.

"Yep yep yep yep yep" she continued her words slurring.

" Have you been drinking?" Josh asked with a mixture of concern and amusement in his voice. Maya let out a light sigh before answering.

"You're bang on boing." Maya answered trying stop herself from letting out a laugh. It was the summer before eleventh grade and Maya, Riley and the rest of their friends were attending their first upperclassman party. While Lucas and the others decided to stick to water, Riley, Maya, and Zay had chosen to partake in a drink or two. Maya was definitely feeling the buzz when she had decided to take out her phone and call Josh.

"Where's Riley?" Josh asked, glancing at the time on his clock across the room. On her end of the phone Maya shrugged, looking around the room at the party.

" Around." She said simply before forging forward into her next thought.

"Listen. Josh. There is a boy here who looks just like you." Maya said her tone incredulous. Back in Philadelphia Josh smirked.

" Just like me eh?" He asked, as he leaned back in his bed. Maya nodded although she knew Josh couldn't see her.

" Mmhmm. Well not just like you, and i know he's not you because he's not on the phone." Maya stated in a tone that insinuated that she was very proud of her logic at that moment.

"Nope definitely not me" Josh said as he rested his head against the pillow, trying to cover up a yawn.

" Too bad." Maya said wistfully. After a moment of content silence Maya asked her lips pressed against the rim of the bottle she was drinking from,

"Long game?" Josh smiled, but before he could answer Maya spoke again.

" Lucas is coming over. He looks mad. Or concerned. Or both." Before Josh could speak again he heard a different voice on the end of the line.

"Hello?" Lucas said into the receiver. Josh shook his head, identified himself and asked what was going on. Lucas explained that Riley had had one drink and was now ready to pass out and by the looks of it Maya was heading in the same direction. He said that they were all heading home and promised to get his niece home in one piece. They hung up the phone and Josh shook his head and turned over in bed, falling asleep with a smile on his face. This girl would drive him mad.


	2. Chapter 2

Someday Soon chapter 2

Maya had woken up after her first party snuggled together with Riley in her bed while their other friends were crashed out around the Matthews apartment. Cory and Topanga had taken Auggie to visit Topanga's mom in Pittsburgh and weren't home to see their house filled with their daughters half hung over or over tired friends. Riley had only had a single drink but woke up that morning groaning and feeling the events of the previous night. Maya on the other hand, who had had a few drinks in total opened her eyes the next morning feeling completely normal. She was thrilled with her lack of hangover, ready to rub it in huckleberry's face ( who had promised that they would all feel like hell the next morning.) Maya did feel slightly bad for Lucas who had essentially played babysitter to both his girlfriend and herself the night before, while trying to corral an overly excited Zay. Farkle had been present too of course but he hadn't been much help as his father had picked him up from the party well over an hour before the rest of the friend group took off. Lucas had done his best to gather his friends together and heard them towards the subway stop down the street. Riley had been riding on her boyfriends back, and Zay had offered to carry Maya so they didn't feel left out. While the idea was fun the execution was flawed, and Zay stumbled causing Maya to smash her knee into her nearby lamp post. Maya had opted to walk the rest of the way, holding onto Riley's hand which hung down from Lucas back.

Maya left Riley's bedroom and strode through the living room, past a snoozing lucus on the couch and towards the kitchen where Zay was sitting at the kitchen table, with his head in his hand.

" Feeling good?" Maya joked noticing how rough Zay looked. Zay looked up from the table and shot Maya a glare as she pulled open the fridge and took out a bottle of juice.

" Speak softer" Zay groaned at her as she took a seat on the bench across from his and broke open the bottle of juice. A realization hit Zay and he reached into his pocket and slide Maya's phone across the table to her. Maya shot him a confused look as she reached for her phone.

" Why did you have this?" She asked her eyes narrowed. Zay began rubbing his eyes and stifled a yawn as he spoke.

" Lucas confiscated it because you kept trying to place long distance calls." Maya narrowed her eyes again, confused and then elements of the previous night came back to her. With a slight panic she unlocked her phone and looked up her call history. Sure enough she had placed multiple calls to Josh, one of which he had picked up. The memory of her short late night conversation came back to her and she simultaneously cringed and smiled at the thought. She tried not to laugh as Zay shook his head at her. Riley came slumping out of her bedroom and flounced down on the loveseat with an audible groan. She looked around the room at her friends and then her eyes focused on Maya with scrutiny.

" What are you smiling at?" She asked with her eyes narrowed.

" Nothing" Maya said innocently, and then never missing an opportunity to tease her best friend, put a smirk on her face and turned her back to Riley and brought her juice to her mouth as she spoke

" Your uncle says hi".

….

The rest of summer passed without much event for either Maya or Josh and before either of them knew it school was going back into session. As josh moved back into the dorms Maya, Riley and the gang prepared for their junior year of high school. 11th grade was a big step for everyone. The SATs suddenly seemed very real and basically just around the corner. More and more each day people began asking Maya and Riley if they had any plans for after high school, as if they didn't still have two full years of secondary education in front of them. They all tried to push these thoughts out of their mind, after all they wouldn't be taking the SATs until that spring. The first week of the eleventh grade passed without much action as Maya, Riley and the rest of the junior class settled into their new classes.

It was the first thursday back to school that Josh returned Mayas drunk dial with one of his own. It was almost two in the morning when Maya's phone screen lit up on her phone stand. Maya was still awake at that hour, reading by the light of the table lamp by her bed. Her heart skipped when she saw the name that was sprawled across her screen.

" Hello?" She said hoping her voice sounded calm and cool rather than the nervous wreck she was afraid she would come off as.

"Maya" Josh's voice came over her phone, drawing out her name in a slightly sing song voice. Maya smiled to herself as she answered him

" Boing?" she said playing along. The background noise from Josh's end of the phone was extremely loud, and Maya could hear the sound of music and people laughing, yelling and what might have been the sound of shattering glass. It was so loud that maya had to hold the phone away from her ear and turn down the volume in fear of waking up her mother and Shawn.

"Where are you?" He asked her, half shouting over the sound of the party going on around him. Maya rolled her eyes.

" I'm at home. It's a school night." Maya said simply, turning the page in her book, although the words on the page in front of her didn't seem to be soaking in.

"Rigggghhht" Josh said as if the thought hadn't occurred to him. The first week of college seemed to be a giant party in its majority.

" You're in high school. I remember high school." Josh said wistfully as if he were recalling fond memories from his past.

" Well it wasn't _that_ long ago Boing. You're no grandpa yet." She joked, pressing her phone between her cheek and her shoulder and reaching up to tie her hair into a knot on the top of her head.

" Three years older." Josh said in the same tone as before. Josh was clearly far more intoxicated than Maya had been during her call to him a few weeks before, and his guard seemed to be .coming down slightly.

" But what's three years in the game of-" Josh's words were cut off by a large crash that made Maya jump in place where she sat on her bed.

" Shit" Josh muttered a tinge of panic in his voice. Josh quickly said goodnight before maya could say another word and the line went dead. Maya shook her head, still smiling as she plugged her phone back in on her bedside table. She reached over to flip off her lamp and fell asleep still smiling.

…..

Maya and Josh were around each other quite often over the next few months, most often when josh dropped by the Matthews apartment to do laundry or hang out with his family. Josh had dinner at his brother's house at least once a week, citing his distaste for the dorm food and his lack of cooking skill as the reason for his stopping by, but Maya secretly hopped that it wasn't a coincidence that Josh always stopped by on wednesday nights. The night that Katy worked late doing the bakeries books, and that Maya could 100 percent of the time be found at the Matthews residence.

Weekly dinners became a staple and Maya and Josh often sat opposite of each other, sharing glances and smiles, and confusing the rest of the table with their inside jokes. When Thanksgiving rolled around the entire Matthews clan plus Shawn, Katy, and Maya crowded into Cory and Topanga's apartment and gathered around the dining table. Allen and Amy had driven up from Philadelphia with Morgan, and even Eric had put aside his senators duties for the night to be present. They had all gone around the table and said what they were grateful for that year and now tucking into their plates piled high with turkey, mashed potatoes, stuffing, bread and gravy. Josh and Maya were once again sitting directly across from one another. Joshs knee was cramped slightly and he stretched out his leg carefully under the table. His foot accidentally made contact with Maya's shin. Maya's head snapped up from her plate at the same time that Josh's did. Their eyes met and rather than break the contact they held each other's gaze. After a moment josh mouthed their phrase " long game" to her across the table. Maya smiled and mouthed " long game' back at josh. They both a had goofy grins on their faces. Shawn looked back and forth between the two of them, his eyes narrowed. Noticing this, Maya shot her step father a sweet sheepish smile while Josh looked very purposefully at the potatoes on his plate.


	3. Chapter 3

Someday Soon Chapter 3

Shawn had always been well aware of Maya's so called "crush" on the youngest Matthews brother. In the past Cory had dropped a few jokes about it months and months before, poking fun at the puppy love in Maya's eyes. Shawn had thought that was the end of it. Just a crush. Hell when Shawn was younger he'd had a different crush everyday of the week, and had been crushed on more times than he could was probably the hair that had done it. He had fallen in and out of like with a different girl what seemed to be every fifteen minutes. No big deal. A crush was nothing to bat an eyelash at. Shawn hadn't thought anymore of it, but something was shifting right before his very eyes at a family thanksgiving dinner of all places. The other Matthews and everyone else at the table were completely oblivious of the interactions going on in front of all of their faces. Shawn watched as his step daughter Maya and Cory baby brother Josh shared a look over the remainder of the turkey and they silently mouthed something to each other that Shawn couldn't make out. Maya noticed his gaze and shot him her best attempt at an innocent smile which would have worked on anyone besides Shawn, who as a child had been an expert of wriggling out of trouble. Shawn looked between Maya and Josh before returning his gaze back to Maya, asking a silent question with his eyes. Maya rolled her eyes ever so slightly at him as if to brush off Shawn's assumptions and shrugged her shoulders just a little as if to insinuate that he was making things up. Maya shot him another quick smile and then turned her head to enter into a conversation with Morgan on the other side of the table. Shawn, not deterred turned his attention to Josh who was very purposefully looking anywhere besides at Maya or Shawn himself. Nevertheless Shawn would be sure to watch out for the two of them at future family gatherings

…..

" This is just sad." Maya stated her eyes fixed directly on the poorly wrapped gifts in Josh's arms. It was december now, a few weeks past thanksgiving and Maya had been alone in the Matthews apartment tearing the place apart looking for her christmas gift from Riley. It was tradition between the best friends to go to the ends of the earth to discover what the other had bought them for christmas before gifts were exchanged. Josh had let himself into his brother's apartment with the key Cory had had made for him, with the intent to drop off the christmas gifts he had for his family under the tree before he headed back to Philly for christmas break.

Josh had walked in to see Maya digging through the couch in the middle of the apartment trying desperately to find Riley's secret stash of gifts. Maya had straightened up at the site of him but was now giving him a look of amusement and pity rolled into one.

"What?" Josh asked, genuinely confused at both her words and the expression on her face. He entered the apartment fully and closed the apartment door behind him.

" Did you wrap those with your eyes closed?" Maya asked trying to restrain a laugh as she gestured at the poorly disguised presents in Josh's arm. The gifts were sloppily wrapped, some with large spots void of wrapping paper at all, and sizable pieces of tape slapped across haphazardly. A red blush burned through Josh's cheeks as he looked away from Maya's gleeful gaze.

"I'm not very good at estimating how much paper it takes to cover something, and i don't excel at the folding element. Or the tape." Josh said slightly awkwardly in way of defense. Maya rolled her eyes but smiled at him. She walked across the apartment and pulled open a cupboard, pulling out a roll of christmas themed wrapping paper and scotch tape.

"Well lucky for you gift wrapping is one of my secret talents." Maya said with only a slight element of smugness, as she plopped herself down on the couch and patted the spot next to her as a way to invite Josh to join her.

With little hesitation Maya ripped the wrapping paper off of Josh's gifts for his brother and his family. With expert precision Maya took a pair of scissors and sliced the perfect amount of wrapping paper to surround one of the boxes. Josh sat back in awe as Maya folded corners with perfect accuracy and curled large lengths of flat ribbon into perfect spirals.

" You should look into getting one of the department store wrapping jobs. You could make a killing." Josh joked. Maya shot him a smirk before turning back to the job at hand.

" I'm keeping it in mind as a career option." She shot back, placing a thin piece of tape on the spot where two folds met. After a little while longer of Maya wrapping expertly and she and Josh joking together, the last gift was complete in its new wrap job.

" and done." Maya said, putting the gifts down and leaning back against the couch cushions as if she was exhausted.

"Now your gifts don't look like they were wrapped by a blind monkey. They are however wrapped in the exact same paper as every other gift under their tree which could get confusing." Maya joked shrugging her shoulder.

" Well you've saved my gifts dignity" Josh stated throwing Maya another smile. Maya shot Josh her own smile with a slightly devilish smile.

" and i already know how you'll repay me." Maya said getting to her feet and heading for the door, reaching for her coat on the hook and gesturing Josh to follow her.

" You can buy me my christmas gift right now, and it'll be easy because i already know what i want. Two soft shelled tacos from the truck down the street."

…..

Maya still couldn't get used to the feeling of having a 'proper' family christmas. Before christmas eve had mostly involved Maya and Katy ordering in chinese food and watching whatever holiday movie was on tv at the time. They would fall asleep on the couch together and in the middle of the night Katy would get up and quietly fill her daughter's stocking with what little she had scrounged for stuffers and placed a few carefully wrapped gifts under the tree. Maya would pretend to be asleep as she watched her mom tip toe around the apartment thoughtfully placing the simple gifts that she could afford on her measly waitress salary. When they woke up in the morning Maya would open her stocking and few gifts while Katy oohed and awwed at the gift her daughter had gotten her, quite often something homemade. They would spend the rest of the day in their pajamas, lounging around and watching more holiday specials on tv.

Christmas now that Katy and Shawn were married, and Katy had moved on from waitressing to managing was an extremely different occasion. Christmas was never a big deal for Shawn growing up either as he had been caught between the continuous revolving door of his disappearing parents. The dynamic of the holiday was changed by adding another person into the mix and while time was still spent in pajamas the stress of providing a satisfactory christmas had been lifted.

Josh was back in Philadelphia to spend christmas with his parents and sister. Cory, Topanga and their children were driving up on boxing day to be with the rest of the family and wouldn't be returning until the day before new year's eve.

Maya woke up on christmas morning earlier than expected. Her mother had always had a rule that gifts were not to be opened 7:30 am on christmas morning so maya had time to kill before she could head into her mother and shawn's room to wake them up for the ceremonial act of opening gifts. She reached for her phone just as it buzzed and lit up with a message. Maya was expecting Riley and the tradition happy holiday text message, surprised that her best friend was up so early. To her surprise the message wasn't from Riley but from Josh.

 _Merry Christmas Maya_ was sprawled across her screen. It was a simple message. Something that strangers may say to each other on the street if they made eye contact in passing. They were only three words but her heart skipped and her stomach flipped at the site in front of her.

 _Merry Christmas Boing_ she typed back, a soppy smile sprawled across her face.


	4. Chapter 4

Someday Soon Chapter 4

After visiting her grandparents in Philadelphia for a few days over the christmas break, Riley returned to New York with her parents and little brother in tow just in time to spend new year's eve with her friends, Maya included. The city, that was considered busy at the best of times, was a complete zoo at the new year. Thousands of people crowded into times square to watch celebrities ring in the new year with outlandish performances before the ball dropped at midnight. Elsewhere throughout the city thousands of parties were held, some extravagant with flutes of champagne and tiny finger foods served on polished silver platters. Others were more simple affairs fueled by cheap liquor and the good company of those around them. Every member of the Matthew/ Hunter/Hart clan had plans for the evening of December 31st. Cory, Topanga, Shawn, and Katy were attending an upscale new years celebration thrown by one of the partners at Topangas firm who had befriended the rest of the group. Riley, Maya, Farkle and the rest were all invited to attend a party thrown by an upper classmate in their family townhouse on the upper west side.

With some persuasion, Riley had gotten her parents permission to attend a party being held by a senior. Little did the Matthew parents know that Riley and Maya had attended several parties without their parents permission, including the one Maya had called Josh from in the summer. They had to be honest about their plans on this occasion as they didn't want to get roped into babysitting Auggie and Ava for the night. As long as Riley and Maya agreed to check in with their parents every few hours and leave the party by 1am when Farkles parents were sending a car for them, then the party was a go. Cory, Shawn, Topanga, and Katy weren't stupid. They knew that at their children's ages they would likely be partaking in underage drinking. It was something that they had experimented with themselves when they were younger, and hoped that it would be mostly harmless. They worried as all parents did, but hoped that they had raised children with good enough heads on their shoulders that they wouldn't make any truly heinous mistakes.

The party was well underway by the time that Maya, Riley and their friends pulled up. The streets around them were loud and busy as they climbed out of the Minkus town car and climbed up the steps of Senior Cassidy Mariners family townhouse. The music came pouring out of the house as soon as the door opened, and the group hurried into house and out of the freezing cold.

It was nearly two hours into the party and midnight was fast approaching. Maya was smiling down at her phone, leaning against a doorway in one of the crowded rooms. She and Josh had been texting all day after he had forwarded her a photo of a poorly wrapped late christmas gift that he was spending to one of his distant cousins in Florida.

Maya was typing a reply to Josh when she felt someone peering over her shoulder. She glanced around and found Riley standing behind her with her hands on her hips. Riley's eyes were glassy and Maya could tell that her best friend had indulged in a few celebratory drinks, not that Maya hadn't. Riley was giving her friend an accusing look and Maya slipped her phone into her back pocket as she turned to face her friend.

"What's up Riles?" Maya asked, taking a long sip of the drink in her hand and avoiding Riley's harsh eye contact.

" You've been on your phone all night." Riley accused, an edge of whin in her complaint. Maya rolled her eyes at her friend.

" You're exaggerating." Maya said, having to raise her voice to almost a shout over the sound of the party going on around them. It was Riley's turn to roll her eyes as she reached out and began to yank on Maya's hands.

" It's almost midnight. Don't just stand here. Go find someone to kiss!" Riley ordered. Jumping up and down slightly, swinging Maya's hands in her own. Maya shook her head at her best friend but couldn't help but smiled at her.

" Well you've only got a few minutes Riles, you better go find ranger rick." Maya joked. Riley brushed her off.

" I`ll find 's tall. He sticks out in a crowd." Riles defended, a little unsteady on her feet. Riles took mayas shoulders and spun her around, pushing her towards the crowded room.

"Go getem peaches." Riles said, smacking her friends butt as she sent her friend away. Maya shook her head as she walked through the party amused at Riley's antics. Her friends inhibitions were so down when she had the slightest bit of alcohol that she was almost an entirely different person. In the end Maya did kiss someone at midnight. A guy she had seen around school a few times, but didn't have much interest in. It wasn't a bad kiss, but there definitely weren't any fireworks going off in her head. In the back of her mind she couldn't help but wonder if Josh was kissing anyone at that very moment, and just who that girl could be.

…

Despite the thoughts Maya had had about Josh on New Year's about him kissing someone else, she wasn't expecting Josh to be some saint until someday, if someday ever came. She wasn't uncomfortable with Josh dating other people, she herself had been on a few dates over the past few months. They didn't exactly talk about it with each other but they didn't flat out avoid the subject.

Once when Josh was over at the Matthews apartment doing his laundry and Maya was sitting on top of the washing machine, watching as Josh tried and failed to scrub a giant stain out of a white shirt. The white shirt had a large red splotch on it. When Maya inquired about the stain Josh blushed but recounted the story of how he had dropped a large fork full of spaghetti onto himself while on a disastrous first date with a girl who lived on the floor below him. Maya had snorted in laughter at him and shook her head.

"Let me drop a little bit of advice on you. A. Never order spaghetti on a first date, not even the people who love you already want to watch someone eat that and B don't wear white. I know you try to be clean but you're kind of a messy eater." Maya hopped down from the washing machine and began to dig through the clothes spread across the laundry room floor. She unearthed a navy blue long sleeve shirt and tossed it to Josh.

" Here. Wear something like that. It's dark. It'll find any stains and it's a good colour on you." Maya stated, hopping back up onto the dryer.

Josh looked down at the shirt Maya had handed him and nodded in consideration.

"Hey" Maya said her voice harsh and serious. Joshs head snapped up from the shirt and looked at Maya spooked.

"Remember that these are trade secrets and sharing them without consent can be punishable by death." She said her voice as straight as a board.

" Also, burn those pants." Maya said gesturing to a horrible pair of cropped salmon pants that josh's great aunt had sent him for christmas. Josh cracked another smile

" Done."

….

" I'm going to fail." Maya said, resting her head in her hands.

" I don't think it's actually possible to fail the SAT's" Josh said, half serious and half joking. Maya shot him a look and Josh quickly back tracked.

" You're not going to fail. You're getting better every day."

Josh had started picking up shifts working the coffee counter at Topangas, and had taken to helping Maya study for her SAT's both after his shifts. Maya had taken to studying at Topangas after school, citing that the constant noise helped to keep her mind focused. Quiet wasn't calming to Maya, if anything it was more distracting. Maya would sit at the counter her books spread out in front of her, and Josh would refill her coffee cup multiple times within the span of an hour. Maya would study for the majority of Josh's shift and then once he clocked out, Maya would move her stuff over to a table and Josh would quiz her on all the cards she had been studying off of all day.

Maya had lots of other people she could have studied with and she had tried too but it had never worked out. Riley was laser focused and almost in a trance while she studied. Farkle was miles ahead of Maya and studying with him made her feel more stupid than anything else. As for Zay and Lucas they couldn't take anything serious enough to get anything done.

Josh was a stellar study partner, he was encouraging and funny, and had a way of keeping her focus even after she had already been studying all day. It wasn't a one sided relationship. There was only so long Maya could go looking at her same flashcards and study outlines in one sitting before wanting to scream. When she needed a break from her SAT prep she had taken to quizzing Josh from his own stack of flashcards for one of his college classes. Maya would bark questions at him as he ran back and forth filling orders and making drinks. If Josh got too many questions wrong within a specific span of time he would have to buy Maya one of the pastries from the display cases. Maya had a sneaking suspicion that one certain occasions when Maya was having a rough day Josh would get questions wrong on purpose just as an excuse to buy Maya a dessert to cheer her up.

" Well then i'm going to score like a 200. i won't get accepted to a single university, i'll end up going to a junior community college and get a diploma in pathetic test scores." Josh rolled his eyes and shook his head at her, still smiling.

" You get 600 points for basically writing your name. But stop getting down on yourself, you're going to do great. In fact, i will bet you that you'll score higher than i did on my SAT." Maya narrowed her eyes at him, considering.

" What do i get if i win?" Maya asked, watching him carefully.

" To be determined. Is it a deal or not?" Josh asked extending his hand across the table for Maya to shake. Maya hesitated for a moment and then took Josh's hand and shook.

"Deal"


	5. Chapter 5

Someday Soon Chapter 5

 *** note** : **I know the scoring of the SAT is changing but i'm still going to go off the old system because that's all i know.**

The date of Maya and Riley's scheduled SAT exam was fast approaching and the girls and everyone around them were slowly coming unraveled with stress over the event. Even Farkle who was sure to score well into the two thousands if not a perfect twenty four hundred, could be found vibrating in his seat with stress at any given time.

Maya hadn't thought that she would get so worked up over something as simple as a test, but she could often be found sitting in her room late at night drilling the same word definitions into her head and scribbling on practice sheets. Katy who had just graduated highschool and nothing more didn't understand just how much pressure her daughter was under in that moment. Even Shawn, who had attended a four year university had never felt the same way has Maya did in those moments.

As much as Maya never wanted to admit it, she was intimidated by her friends intelligence. It's not that Maya was stupid, but school didn't flow so easily for her as it did for her friends. She had her strengths, and she definitely excelled in certain classes over others, but she wasn't sure that those classes were the type that showed up on standardized tests, and dear god if another person told her that she just wasn't applying herself she would snap.

SAT scores were not the end of the world, but they were a very big deal. The scores would impact exactly what colleges they had the possibility of getting into, and if there was one thing Maya didn't want to be it was limited. She had some idea of what she wanted to do with her life but nothing was set in stone. She could change her mind at any moment, and she didn't want any doors closed because she hadn't aced the math section of her SATs.

It wasn't as if she couldn't take the test for the second time in the fall, but she would love to have some of the stress and worry about it taken away over the summer. Maya hated the idea of spending the whole summer slaving away over her flash cards the same way she had been over the past few months. She almost shuddered at the idea of being cooped up at Topangas in the heat of the summer with her study material everywhere.

…

" I could make you wear exclusively salmon coloured pants for a month." Maya suggested, stabbing her fork into the piece of cheesecake in front of her and shoveling it into her mouth with very little concern for what she looked like.

She was sitting at the counter at Topangas as Josh wiped down surfaces. Maya was taking a break from studying and eating the dessert Josh had placed in front of her. It was now a running joke between the two of them that they had never agreed on the stipulation of their bet regarding Mayas SAT score. Maya was coming up with crazier and crazier punishments for Josh or herself if she were to beat his SAT score or not . She had never come up with anything serious, and her goal when making most of her suggestions was to make Josh smile. Josh made his own suggestions on what Maya would have to do if she did outscore him, but Maya brushed them off, sure she could never score close to Josh on the SAT.

" That's just cruel." Josh stated, grinning at her as he whipped up a small puddle of coffee that had spilled.

" Or, i could make you carry me around everywhere in one of those Saltan chairs until your body degenerates from old age." Josh snorted with laughter.

" I'd tell you to pick something more attainable but it won't matter when i win." Josh said clearing the now empty cheesecake plate from in front of Maya. Maya shook her head at him.

" Well there's no way that i'm ever going to score higher than you did on the SAT, so i'm dreamin big and you better be ready to follow through." Maya justified, leaning backwards on her barstool as Josh fitted her with a look.

" Don't be so down on yourself. Have little faith. Manifest your destiny." Josh said as Maya gave him her own look before replying sarcastically.

" You know you're right! I'll just use the power of positive thinking to will myself into a perfect test score. Then i'll go to Harvard and Yale simultaneously majoring in Neuroscience AND law so that i can go on to work for NASA while running my own successful law firm. Thanks Josh great advice!" Josh shook his head at her as he turned to put away a plate on the wall, but he couldn't hide his smile.

…

" I hate her." Riley gushed in a huff, the blood flowing to her cheeks as she sethed in anger.

" No comment." Maya said in a monotone voice, looking down at her phone and barely paying attention.

The two best friends were sitting at the bay window in Riley's bedroom after sitting through a family dinner which included Josh and his date for the evening and tawny skinned brunette named Kylie. The whole family had sat tense around the table as Josh's guest made obnoxious and pretentious comment after comment putting everyone on edge.

" She's just so….. Ughhh." Riley said with a shutter.

" Mmmhmmm." Maya said, scrolling through her social media feed and not even trying to feign interest. Riley turned to her best friend in shock, her mouth hanging open slightly.

" What is wrong with you? Josh brought a girl to dinner. He's dating an awful horrible human being. Why are you not turned into a giant ball of jealous rage? Where's your little green monster? Why aren't you being crazy? Be crazy." Riley demanded. Maya shrugged her shoulders again still not looking up from her phone. Riley narrowed her eye at her friend.

" You know something. You have to know something. What do you know?" Riley demanded again.

" I know nothing." Maya said innocently, still staring at her screen and avoiding eye contact.

The truth was that Maya had heard of Kylie before the dinner that night. She was in Josh's child psychology class and after approaching him a few times Josh had agreed to a date. Josh had told her the hilarious story of their disastrous first date a few weeks ago when Josh had come over to do his laundry. Maya had sat on top of the dryer, doubled over laughing. The story should have ended there but then Josh had come into the cafe the next day and announced that he had had the misfortune of being partnered with Kylie for a term project that was worth a large chunk of their grade. Josh had been doing his best to make it clear to Kylie that they were working partners and nothing else, but Kylie was slightly crazy and had her way of inviting herself places in an effort to get closer to Josh, hence her turning up to a family dinner. Maya and Josh had been texting back and forth under the table sharing jokes about the shock and appalled looks of their family around the table, playing along to see their reactions.

…

" I don't think i can look." Maya said, her hands on the keys of her laptop. She was sitting at the counter at Topangas, the SAT log in on the page in front of her and Josh behind the counter watching her carefully.

" Yes you can. Just click the button." Josh said, attempting to be supportive, but trying not to laugh.

" I failed. I know I failed." Maya stammered, bringing her hand up to her mouth and biting down on her thumb nail.

" again, not possible to fail." Josh said, not hiding the amusement in his voice now.

" I can't look. I won't do it." Maya said, pushing the computer away from her. Josh rolled his eyes and strode around to the other side of the counter.

" Consider this payback for opening my NYU acceptance letter." Josh said and pulling Mayas laptop over to him.  
" No, josh don't!" but it was too late, josh had grabbed her laptop and pressed enter, pulling up her SAT scores. The results filled Mayas screen and her heart stopped as she forced herself to look at them.

" 1850" Maya said quietly.

"That's good? That's above average." Maya said her words almost a whisper as if she was in shock.

" Thats way above average. It's higher then what i got. Maya thats amazing."

Maya came out of her fog

" Oh my god." She said her excitement mounting. Josh pulled her into a hug as Maya laughed in amazement. She hugged him tightly before breaking away.

" I've got to go find Riley, and my mom!" Maya said excitedly, gathering up her laptop and heading towards the door, her excitement still clear. Josh smiled as he walked back behind the counter. Topanga who had just appeared from the backroom to see this interaction.

" Josh?" Topanga asked, looking at him carefully.

"Hmm." He responded.

" Didn't you get a twenty two hundred on the SAT?" She asked. Josh shrugged.

" The second time. First go i only got a 1700." He said simply.

" The first time? When you had the stomach flu and a 102 degree fever?" Topanga inquired. Josh watched through the big front window as Maya retreated away across the street.

" She doesn't need to know about that'


	6. Chapter 6

_AN: This is a bit of a different chapter. Its has a more serious tone. I was having trouble writing it which is why it's been so long since an update. Sorry! Enjoy._

Someday Soon Chapter 6

Juniors at Abigail Adams took their SAT in the first week of March just a few days before spring break. In years past Maya had always either stayed in the city while Katy continued to work, or the two of them would drive down to Delaware to see Katy's parents for a few days. This year Katy, Shawn and Maya were all taking a trip to the Dominican republic. Maya was excited to spend several days lounging on the beach and swimming in the ocean, but she was mostly excited to get away from the bleak New York weather. The overcast and grey sky had been getting to Maya over the past few weeks especially with the initial stress of the SATs looming. She was also glad for the opportunity to spend time with both of her parents. Both Katy and Shawn were always so busy working, that they didn't get to spend as much time as they would all like together as a family. Katy had been working extremely hard lately as Topanga's was looking at expanding and along with that came a lot of extra paperwork and stress for both Katy and the Matthews.

Due to her extra workload it wasn't surprising that katy came home at night and went straight to bed, or that on her days off she spent most of her time sleeping or in an almost trance from exhaustion. She often complained about her headaches that formed behind her eyes over the day. Shawn and Maya both hoped that a vacation would be just was Katy needed to unwind and relax so they could all get back to New York as happy and refreshed as ever.

For the first few days of spring break at the resort Katy slept. Shawn and Maya wrote it off as some sort of jet lag reaction ( although the time difference was minimal) , and went about their days the way they had planned, enjoying the white sandy beaches and bright blue water. Every few hours either Shawn or Maya would ride the elevator up to the floor their room was on at the resort and check in on Katy. They would poke their head in, not turning on the light, just checking to see if Katy was still asleep. By the fourth day Shawn and Maya had grown more concerned. The little time that Katy spent out of the room she would be squinting in pain and brush off their concerns, citing that she had a headache.

Still as soon as they made it back to New York from vacation, Shawn insisted that Katy see a doctor. Afraid that her fatigue and headaches meant something more than being overworked. The following weeks were filled with doctor's appointments and referrals, specialists and scans. Maya had tried not to think anything of it, but she had noticed how Katy and Shawn would stop whispering when she entered the room, and that when she asked about the appointments they would give vague answers. Something was happening, and it was only a matter of time before it all caught up to her.

…...

A rain storm had hit New York in the second week of April, drowning the streets in water and washing out the population as people hid away in their apartments and tried to avoid the worst of the storm.

Josh was locked away in his dorm room, a children's psychology book open on his bed as he flipped through the pages and marked with sticky notes the places he needed to return to. The sound of the rain was nearly drowning out the music that played from the bluetooth speakers that rested on Josh's desk. He was on his second run through of his chapter and was nearly ready to retire his studies for the night when he read a rapid knock on his door. Confused as to who would be knocking on his dorm room door, most of his friends knocked and walked in simultaneously, Josh walked across his small dorm room and pulled open the door. Maya was standing in the doorway, her hair slightly wet from the rain outside.

"Maya?" Josh asked, confused as he stepped aside and allowed her to move into the room behind him. She didn't meet his eye as she rushed into the room and began to pace erratically, wringing her hands and shaking slightly as she moved.

" I know I shouldn't be here. I shouldn't talk to you about this. I just, i just don't know who else to tell. I should talk to Riley but i can't. I can't tell her right now. I can't deal with her optimism right now. I can't watch her try and find a bright side. There is no brightside. Nothing good can come from this. I can't watch her. I can't." Maya stopped pacing, but her shaking was more prominent than ever. She didn't even take a breath as she continued speaking and turned to Josh.

" But you. You want to be a shrink right? You're going to listen to people's problems for a living? You want to help people with their issues and their and their grief." One the last word Maya's voice broke as she ran out of breath and began to hyperventilate.

Josh, who had been frozen by the door in a state of shock, moved into action. He reached maya and wrapped his arm around her shoulders and guided her over to his bed. They both sat down on the side as her breathing became even more ragged and uneven. She shook violently and pressed her hand against her chest as it raced, feeling as if it were going to beat out of her chest and explode. Maya had had anxiety before, but she had never had a panic attack before, until that every moment.

"Shhh" Josh said his voice soft and concerned. He pulled maya's head against his chest, wrapping his arms securely around her.

"Do you hear my heart beating?" He asked as Maya shook in his arms, her breaths still sharp and uneven. Maya shook her head as a sob escaped her chest.

" Try and count my heart beats. Just try." He encouraged, as he rubbed his thumb comfortingly across the skin of her arm. Maya tried again to nod. After a few minutes Mayas breathing began to even out and her body began to shake less and less as she untensed. Her voice was rough and quiet when she spoke next, her cheek still pressed against Josh's chest.

"She's dying." Maya said in a whisper, barely believing the words as she said them.

"What?" Josh said alarmed, trying to keep the panic from his voice. Maya sat up a bit, breaking the circle of Josh's arms around her. Her face was wet with tears that she tried to brush away.

" My mom." Maya said quietly, her voice nearing a shake again. Josh's eye widened as he looked at her. Maya stared down at her hands.

" She has cancer, and she's not going to do anything about it."

" May-" but Maya cut off Josh's words as she continued to explain.

" She has a brain tumor. Behind her eyes. They don't think surgery will help." Josh tightened his grip around Maya's shoulder.

"They could do radiation to try and shrink it, but it would only give her a few more months. There are experimental treatments and specialists but... she works for a small business, Shawn's a freelance writer, they don't have the kind of health insurance. I know that there aren't a lot of options but.." Maya eyes filled up with tears again which began to spill over.

" It's like she doesn't want to stay. Like she won't fight. Like she's willing to leave." A sob racked through Maya's chest as she continued on.

" My dad already left us. She was supposed to be the one who stays. Once my mom's gone, i'll have no one. Shawns only around for my mom, and without her he'll take off. With Riley's SAT score she'll get into every university she applies too, and probably end up in california or texas and i'll just be here. Alone." Maya's sobs took over her body again as she completely broke down.

Josh pulled her close against his chest again.

" Everybody leaves me." Maya whispered between sobs. Josh held her tighter.

" No one else is leaving." Josh said softly, trying to keep the tears from his own eyes.

" I'm right here."


	7. Chapter 7

Someday soon Chapter 7

 _AN: sorry for the change in tone of this story, It's a little serious for a while here, but i think it's important for this to happen to really bond maya and josh. Things will get cute again. Right now it's sad but i hope heartfelt!_

Maya was mortified at what at happened in Josh's dorm room. Once she had pulled herself together enough to stand, she had avoided Josh's gaze, muttered a thanks and an apology to him and quickly left the room without another word. She was rarely vulnerable in front of anyone, let alone someone she liked. Yet she hadn't been able to contain her emotions as they tore through her chest.

She hadn't allowed herself to break down in front of her mother or Shawn. In fact she hadn't said anything to either of them after they had broken the news about Katy's diagnosis to her. Maya had sat stunned on the couch, unable to meet her mother's eye, instead staring at the floor under her feet. Maya hadn't said a word. She had let her parents comfort her, and treat her with child gloves as they tried to explain what would happen next. Maya had excused herself from the apartment, trying to keep her voice from breaking as she whispered that she needed to take a walk. She had thought that she was going to see Riley, but she soon realized that in that moment she couldn't face her best friend. That was how she had somehow ended up at Josh's doorstep.

Maya had wandered the neighbourhood for a while longer after leaving Josh's dorm. She wasn't sure she was ready to face going back home again. It wasn't until it began to get dark and her phone began to buzz with Shawn's number that Maya began to make her way back to her apartment. When she arrived home she found that her parents weren't alone in their home. The whole Matthews family was crowded into the living room, and Maya nearly broke down all other again.

Maya, still embarrassed over her outburst in front of Josh, had waiting until she assumed he would be asleep, typed out a sheepish apology text to him, expressing how sorry she was to dump her problems on him, and her embarrassment over the whole event. To her surprise, her phone buzzed with a response nearly immediately. Josh, quick to comfort her, assured that his door was always open to her, and that anything she needed he would be more than happy to do. Maya looked down at the message on her phone, and up towards the wall she shared with her parents room, she felt the weight of what was to come. She placed her phone face down on her side table and turned over in bed, her pillow slightly wet with tears.

….

It was the second day of May, a saturday, when Katy Hart Hunter passed away. She had been in the hospital for the past week, fighting an infection, her body already to weakened. Maya had been asleep in a chair beside the hospital bed when her mother's heart stopped. Doctors and nurses flooded into the room, rushing to run the code.

Maya watched in horror as doctors tried and failed to re start Katy's heart. Shawns arms had wrapped around her in restraint when Maya had jumped up and tried to claim the paddles from the doctors hands when they began to give up. Maya had screamed and sobbed, trying to fight Shawn off her ( tears rolled down his own face), when the Doctor let his arms slump and declared time of death at 6:56 am. Maya's body had slumped as she stared at her mother's lifeless body before her. If Shawn's arms hadn't been wrapped around her she would have surely hit the floor. This was wrong. Maya wasn't ready yet. They were supposed to have more time. The doctor had promised them more time. They were supposed to have months left after Katys diagnosis, not weeks. This couldn't be happening. Not yet.

…..

Several days later, the morning of the funeral, Riley woke up to find the place in bed beside her empty. Maya and Shawn had been staying at the Matthews apartment, not ready to go back to their own home and face seeing all of Katy's things. Shawn was staying on the fold out couch in Topanga's office while Maya was sleeping in Riley's room.

Riley sat up and looked around her room, her eyes finally landing on her best friend, sitting at the bay window looking out at the outside world.

"Maya?" Riley said hesitantly, her voice soft. Maya continued to look out at the sky as she spoke to her best friend.

" Is it dumb that i'd thought it would rain?" she asked. Her voice rough and hoarse as if she had been crying, yet her face was dry.

" What?" Riley asked confused.

" I've been picturing this day. Ever since we found out about her diagnosis. I've been picturing this day. The funeral, and every single time it's raining. There's always grey clouds. But i don't think i've ever seen the sky this blue. It's a beautiful day. " Maya took in a deep breath that caught in her throat.

"Across the city everybody going to be out enjoying the sun, and i'll be putting my mother in the ground."

Riley climbed out of her bed and rushed to sit next to her best friend by the window and pulled Maya into a hug. Maya's head rested against Riley's shoulder and despite the hurt she felt in her heart no more tears came to her.

" I thought it would rain." Maya whispered again, her eyes blank and unseeing.

…

After the burial, a wake was held at the Matthews apartment. Katy's friends and relatives crowded into living space as Topanga offered refreshments and trays of food to the guests. Shawn and Cory had been huddled together in the a corner together, talking in hushed voices and embracing often.

Katy had been buried only a few hours before. Maya's eye had somehow remained dry as she clutched onto Shawn's hand as they watched Katys casket being lowered into the ground.

Maya had been hugged and comforted by dozens of relatives she had never met, the whole time feeling as if her whole body had gone numb. Her eyes glazed over as people spoke to her, and she couldn't help but think that she wished she had stayed in bed that day. It had been hours before Maya had been able to sneak away from the crowds. She slipped into Riley's bedroom and hoisted open the window and climbed out onto the fire escape.

She leaned against the side of the building and looked out at the city around her. The sun was beating down on her, making her feel hot and uncomfortable in her long sleeve black dress.

Maya closed her eyes and leaned her head back against the wall and tried to take a few deep breaths. She heard the sound of the window opening once again, and her immediate thought was that Riley was climbing out onto the fire escape after her.

"Maya?" Her eyes shot open at the sound of Josh's voice. He was leaning out the window watching her, still in his suit from the funeral.

" What are you doing out here?" He asked, watching her carefully.

Maya shrugged.

" I just can't be in there anymore." She said simply.

" Do you mind if i.." He gestured to the fire escape under her feet.

Maya nodded and Josh climbed the rest of the way out the window and joined her leaning against the railing.

" Thank you for coming." Maya said quietly.

" Of course" Josh said softly, their arms brushing together as they both leaned against the railing of the fire escape.

They stood in silence together for a while, Josh unsure what to say, and Maya just glad to have someone next to her who wasn't trying to talk to her about her grief. Suddenly Maya's grandmother appeared at the window, opening the glass pane and leaning out.

"Maya baby, come back inside. You should be with family."

Maya sighed as her grandmother retreated back into the apartment. Maya let her head fall against Josh's shoulder for a moment.

" I don't know if i can go back in there. If one more person says they're sorry for my loss, or that this is all part of god's plan, i'm going to scream." Maya shook her head and nearly laughed.

"You know if i'm going to start treating you like my therapist you should probably start charging me for sessions." Maya joked. Josh snorted in laughter, and Maya almost smiled at the sound of Josh's laugh.

They moved back to the window and Josh climbed through first. Josh reached back and offered Maya his hand to help her climb through the window. Maya took hold of his hand and let him help her through.

Maya didn't let go of his hand until they were out of Riley's room and back in among the mourners.


	8. Chapter 8

Someday soon chapter 8

In the weeks after Katys death Maya had been spending a lot of time wearing headphones. She couldn't stand the silence, but she also could hardly bare to speak to anyone. Her ear buds were in nearly all hours of the day. She would walk around listening to the same music that her mother used to sing around the house, or listening to podcasts of people talking almost mindlessly.

Maya and Shawn were still staying at the Matthews apartment, so every night as Maya and Riley climbed into Riley's bed, Maya would press play on a podcast and turn the volume on her phone up high enough that she couldn't hear herself think. Maya and Riley would lay in bed beside each other each night, not talkinging. Riley knew how much her friend was struggling and hurting. She wanted nothing more than to help Maya, but she knew that she wasn't really ready to face her feelings yet. So rather than talking, the girls laid side by side in silence. Without saying a word Riley would reach out and take her best friends hand. Maya, without saying anything, would take it.

….

Maya was walking on the streets several miles away from the high school, her headphones in her ears and music blasting. It was just past noon on a thursday and the sun was beating down on Maya's shoulders as she wandered mindlessly around the city. Her school bag was slung over her shoulder, but it wasn't weighing her down as she had put nothing in it that morning. She hadn't been to school since Katy had passed, but she had had to get out of the Matthews, in an attempt to help, had suggested that Maya return to school, two weeks after the funeral. Maya played along with the charade of heading to school, but felt no need to actually attend class.

Cory and Topanga assumed that Maya was heading off to school with Riley every morning but in reality Maya was staying on the subway long after Riley got off. Maya managed to get away with this as Mr. Matthews was not her teacher that semester, and the school was too large for him to expect to see her around the hallways all that often.

Riley could have easily sold her out, but she adamantly protected her friend. Riley knew that Maya was only going through the motions to please Cory and Topanga.

Maya continued to wander the city not really paying attention to her surroundings when she felt someone's hand on her shoulder. Maya whipped her head around, pulling out her headphones at the same time.

The sound of the city around her hit her at the same time that she saw the face of the person who had stopped her.

"Hey" Josh said, slightly shocked to see Maya there. Maya's eyes widened slightly and she felt the usual flip in her stomach that came with seeing Josh. But while she was usually thrilled to see Josh no matter the circumstance, today ( like most days recently, she had just wanted to be alone). It was just her luck that in a city of over 8 million people, she would bump into someone she knew on the street.

" Hey" Maya responded, winding her headphones around her phone and stuffing the whole thing in her pocket while she continued to walk forward. Josh fell into step beside her as they continued to walk down the street.

" Shouldn't you be in school?" Josh asked jokingly gesturing down to the time on his watch.

" Shouldn't you?" Maya said straight faced as she continued to face forward and walk ahead. Josh rolled his eyes at her and smiled in slight exasperation.

" What does Shawn think about you skipping out on class?" Josh asked, trying his best not to sound like a naggy older brother. This time it was Maya's turn to roll her eyes.

" Are you kidding? Shawn can't even look at me. But i mean, i don't blame him. I can't even look at myself in the mirror. I'm too much like her." Maya said in a matter of fact tone and continued to walk forward. Josh caught onto her arm. He spoke softly. His concern evident.

" Hey… really are you okay?" Maya let out an extended breath, rolled her lips and close her eyes as she responded.

" You know that's a really stupid question." Without another word she turned around and walked back down the street, leaving Josh behind her.

….

Josh hadn't heard from Maya in a few weeks. He had texted her after they had run into each other on the street to apologize, and she had typed out a quick response, but after that it had been radio silence. Josh knew that Shawn and Maya were still staying with his aunt and uncle, but every time he dropped by the apartment Maya was either out or locked away in Riley's room. Josh had been busy with finals that week and hadn't actually had the chance to drop by.

That friday Josh was heading to a house party a few blocks from his dorm. He was nearly done his finals, he only had one left at the end of the following week. His roommate had convinced him to go out that night and let loose before he started his summer courses.

The party was loud and crowded, spread across several levels of a town house split into apartments. Josh had been upstairs, chatting with some people he knew from one of his classes. He had just finished his drink and decided to head down to the kitchen to get another drink. He was walking down the creaky wooden stairs when he noticed someone familiar standing in the open living room before him.

He could barely see her. Her body was crowded in against a wall by a big burly guy. His hand was on the wall beside her head and he had his face leaned in close to her face. Josh was down the stairs in a flash and striding towards the scene he had seen on the stairs.

"Maya?" Josh said finally reaching the spot where Maya was leaning against the wall and the mystery guy was boxing her in. Maya who had been looking down at the ground as if her head was too heavy to hold up. She didn't respond to him, but she did raise her head slightly as if she was just registering that someone had said her name.

The guy who had been leaning in close to speak to Maya, turned his head to look at Josh, and removed his hand from the wall beside her head.

" Can i help you?" The guy asked, giving Josh an appraising look and seemingly coming up unimpressed. Josh stepped between Maya and the guy, who was several inches taller than him.

" Yeah actually. This is my girlfriend so i'd appreciate it if you'd back the hell off." Josh said, trying to put a lot of authority and confidence into his voice.

The other guy probably could have crushed Josh in a single swoop, but after a moment he backed off. Grumbling an apology and stalking off into the party. It was sad that Josh knew that it was better to lie to the man about his relationship with Maya then to tell him the truth. That she was an 11th grade girl who a grown guy had no right to be hitting on.

Josh turned back to Maya, who was once again looking at the ground, a cup clutched to her chest.

"What are you doing here?" Josh asked incredulously appraising Maya.

" It's a party." Maya mumbled, still looking at the ground. Josh wasn't even sure Maya was aware who she was talking to.

" I know that. But what are YOU doing here?" Josh asked again, growing more and more concerned.

" Some guy on the subway invite me." Maya mumbled again, and raised the cup she was holding to her lips. Josh snatched it from her hand.

" What are you drinking?" he asked, looking at the cup and raising it to his nose to sniff. Maya shrugged. Maya raised her head and looked at Josh finally realizing who she was talking to. A goofy smile spread across her face that Josh hadn't seen since before Katys diagnosis.

"Jesus Maya is this Jungle juice?" Josh asked, recoiling at the smell of the concoction in Maya's glass.

" I don't know." Maya murmured, her head bullying towards the floor again.

"Lesson one. Never drink something that was made in a trash can." Josh said half joking and half serious.

Even as she was standing still Maya began to sway on the spot. Josh was growing more and more concerned.

" hey, hey." Josh said, grabbing onto the tops of Maya's arms to steady her.

" Look at me." Josh said, waiting for Maya to raise her head up again. Maya met his gaze and Josh was startled to see the glossiness over her eyes. Josh was realizing just how spaced out maya was.

" Did you take something?" Josh asked seriously, looking into Maya's eyes and trying to gage the situation. Maya shook her head, but from the way she was acting Josh didn't believe her. There was a good chance that someone had mixed something extra special into the party jungle juice.

" Alright." Josh said, straightening up.

" Time to get you home." Josh said matter of factly. Maya's head snapped up and her eyes went wide.

" No. I can't go home. They don't know i'm here. I'm not supposed to be here. I cant-" Josh cut her off, shushing her gently, seeing that she was about get very worked up.

" Okay okay, but you can't stay here." Josh said, wrapping one of his arms around Maya's waist and pulling her towards the front door.

To be completely honest Josh sort of felt like a creep walking down the street supporting a underage drunken or drugged up girl. He prayed that no one saw him half carrying her into his dorm room.

" Here we are." Josh said in relief as he flicked on the lights in his dorm room. Maya was only semi responsive as she leaned against Josh. Josh lead her across the tiny room and towards his bed. He gently set her down and watched as she flopped backwards onto his mattress.

" Remember the last time i was in this room?" Maya asked, her voice just above a mumble. Josh stayed silent, remembering how awful he had felt about the kind of pain Maya was experiencing.

" So much fun." Maya muttered, feeling as if she was about to fall asleep right there on top of the covers of Josh's single bed.

"Alright. Time for bed." Josh said striding back over to the bed and leaning down to Maya's level. He pulled off her shoes as Maya struggled to get out of the leather jacket she was wearing and throwing it across the room. Josh pulled his blankets up around Maya.

"Goodnight." Josh said quietly, but it didn't matter. Maya was already out cold.

….

Maya woke up the next morning feeling as if she had been hit by a truck, and then that same truck had revered and back over her again. She groaned as she rolled over in bed. She was struggling to remember what had happened the night before, or even where she was.

A voice came from somewhere nearby, making Maya start.

" Drink this." Maya looked over and tried to sit up slightly. Josh was extending a bottle of water to her. Maya took it gratefully and muttered a thanks. Josh sat down on the side of the bed as Maya tried to get down the whole bottle of water. A bolt of fright strike through Maya's body.

" What time is it? Oh my god i'm going to be in so much shit." Maya muttered, feeling around in the sheets for her phone.

" I already texted Riley. She's covering for you." Josh stated, reassuring her. Maya fell backwards in bed, her head pounding.

" Thank you." Maya said, letting out a breath and then speaking again.

" I'm sorry." She took another breath.

" You shouldn't have to deal with this." Josh gave her a half hearted smile, and then got serious.

" Maya…. You have to promise me this isn't going to happen again. You can't go to those parties alone, you can't… If things had gone differently last night, i mean something really bad could have happened, and i wouldn't have been able to live with myself. "

" I'm sorry" Maya muttered again.

" Don't be sorry, just…" Josh took Maya's hand.

" I know that things are hard right now and that they're going to be hard for a really long time, but this isn't the way to deal with it."

" I was never the person who needed help." Maya whispered.

" I was never the one to fall apart. But now i'm in more than pieces. I feel like i'm in sharded, and nobody knows what to say to me."

Josh squeezed Maya's hand.

" When i was 13 my dad had a heart attack." Josh said looking down at Maya's hand in his.

" and for a minute there we thought the we were going to lose him. Those few hours are the closest i ever came to what you are feeling, and that was some of the worst time of my life. You are allowed to be in pieces, and no matter how long it takes, the rest of us will always be there to pick you up."

Maya too was looking down at her hand in Josh's, and smiled sadly.

" How do you always know what to say?" she asked quietly, looking up at him, with half formed tears in her eyes. Josh let out a small laugh and smiled at her.

" I just wish i had all the answers for you." Maya half smiled and leaned her head forward to lean her forehead onto Josh's shoulder.

" Maybe someday."


	9. Chapter 9

Someday Soon Chapter 9

It was a few weeks later, and Josh was enjoying his last days of break before he started his summer courses at NYU. Josh had gotten a job as an resident advisor for the summer and the following school year so he wouldn't be heading back to Philadelphia at all.

Josh had texted his brother asking if it was alright if he came over and did some of his laundry. Normally Josh would just show up without any warning or hesitation, but with Shawn and Maya still staying at the Matthews apartment, Josh didn't want to add to the chaos at an inopportune time. Cory had quickly texted back, giving him the go ahead to head on over in the afternoon, as no one was meant to be home. Riley, Maya, Auggie, and Cory would all still be at school, Topanga would still be at the firm working, and Shawn had a meeting with an insurance company about the life protection policy Katys parents had taken out on her years prior.

Josh let himself into his brother's apartment with his key, and began to lug his dirty laundry towards the back room where the washer and dryer was housed. Josh pushed open the laundry room door with a grunt but was met with a slight resistance. He shoved against the door again and finally made his way into the room.

When he made it inside he saw the reason he had been struggling to get the door open. Maya was sitting cross legged on the laundry room floor, a massive suitcase open in front of her and a mountain of clothes spilling all around the space around her. Josh was taken aback at the sight of her, and it seemed to take a moment before Maya noticed him standing there. She stopped folding one of the shirts in her lap and looked up at him.

" Hi." She said throwing him a faint smile.

" Hey" Josh said, hauling his laundry bag on top the top of the washing machine.

"How are you?" Josh asked, and then reconsidering what he just said, tried to retract it.

" Sorry, that's a dumb question." He said, trying to step around her suitcase.

"No, it's not. It's actually a pretty fair question, seeing as the last time we were in the same room i was crawling out of bed in what i assumed to be an accidental drug induced hungover state."

Josh cracked a smile.

"So to answer your question. I am slightly less emotionally fragile. I mean it's almost 2 pm and i haven't cried yet today. " This could have been a serious statement but there a a certain mysterious glint in Maya's eye and a hint of a smile on her face.

" I am seeing a therapist three times a week, twice by myself and once with Shawn. It's slightly less convenient than just dumping all my issues on you as someone actually has to pay for it and they don't make groupons for these things."

"That's good." Josh said, watching her carefully.

" It's not good, but it's something." Maya said simply.

" Whats all this then?" Josh asked, gesturing to Maya's suitcase and the piles of clothes all around them.

" You're not running away are you?" Josh asked, trying to pretend that he wasn't being serious.

Maya laughed a shook her head.

" No. At least not for forever. But i am leaving the summer." Josh's stomach dropped a little at the sound of her words.

" Where are you going?" Josh asked, almost incredulously as he took a seat across from Maya with the suitcase between them.

" France actually. As crazy as that sounds." Maya said as if she almost didn't believe it herself.

"France?" Josh asked in a tone of disbelief.

' Yeah. My art teacher submitted me for a spot in this summer program in Paris for high school students months ago, and she just found out that they're giving me one of the scholarship spots. I didn't even know she had put my name forward. " Maya said, a tone of excitement growing in her voice.

" Wow. That's insane." Josh said, following Maya's lead and attempting to fold some of the clothes that were on the floor around them.

" Yeah. It really is." Maya answered, watching in amusement as Josh struggled to fold one of her sweaters neatly.

" When do you leave?" Josh asked.

" On friday, and i come home at the end of August." She stated answering his next question before he could even ask it.

" That soon? What about school?" Josh asked. Classes at NYU had been over for a while now but high school was still in session.

" Well there's only about a week left, and all my teachers are pity passing me already. I mean i only go to every other class on a good day and even then i just sit in the back corner staring at a wall and refusing to make eye contact with anyone." The could be seriousness of Maya's statements were once again disbursed by the fact that Maya was sort of smiling and there was a hint of joking in her tone.

" Well i'm sure you'll have an amazing time." Josh said, smiling at her and still attempting to fold the same sweater evenly.

" I hope so." Maya said, a faint smile on her face as she carefully laid a folded shirt in the suitcase in front of her.

" I'll miss you tho.' Josh said, looking into her eyes for more than a few seconds for a first time since Maya had woken up in his dorm room. Maya smiled at him, connecting with his gaze before breaking off the look and reaching out to grab the shirt in his hands from him.

" You're just upset there isn't going to be anyone around to help you fold your laundry anymore." Maya joked. Josh broke into a smile

" Yeah, well maybe that's part of the reason."

…

Shawn had flown with Maya to Paris to get her settled in at her program before heading off on a job writing about the champagne region of France. He would never admit it to anyone but the moment he had climbed into the cab after leaving Maya in her dorm for the summer he had sobbed in the back seat of the car. The last few months had been so hard and emotional for both of them, and although he knew that spending the summer away would be good for Maya and her grieving process, he was anxious about being apart from her for such a long period of time.

Shawn knew what it was like to lose a parent. He had been walked out on, and he had watched his father die. He knew what Maya was feeling, but he never wanted her to feel like she had no one the way he had. No matter what happened to them in the future he would always think of her as his daughter, and all he really wanted for her was to be a good dad.

…

It a few weeks into July, and nearly 3 am. Josh was sitting up in his dorm room, working on paper to pass the time before he had to make his second set of rounds for his job as an RA. He rubbed his eyes and glanced at his watch, longing for when it was finally time for him to turn in for the night.

At that moment a small ping sounded from his laptop and Josh looked up to see a video call request coming through on his screen. Maya's name was displayed on the screen in front of him. Without thinking he pressed the accept button and waited while the video connected. Maya appeared on the screen in front of him.

"Hey." she said a genuine smile on her face.

" Hey" Josh said in return, suddenly feeling a lot less tired.

" Sorry to just call out of the blue, I saw that you were online. What are you doing up? Isn't it like 2 am in New York?" She asked, brushing her long blonde hair out of her face.

" 3 actually." Josh corrected.

" But i have round on my floor in a minute here so i'm still up." Maya nodded and shot him another smile.

" How france?" He asked as the next plausible question.

" Good." Maya said, smiling softly down at her keyboard.

" my programs great, but i've been eating so much bread i think i've gained about seventeen pounds. " Josh smirked at her. Maya had eaten so little and so infrequently after Katys death that she had dropped mass amounts of weight. She still looked as thin and sunken as ever but he hoped that being away from the city with put some more light back into her.

They continued to talk light heartedly, and Maya was laughing more than she had in weeks. They got so wrapped up in their conversation that Josh nearly missed his rounds.


	10. Chapter 10

Someday Soon Chapter 10

Maya classified her dorm room in paris as more of a shoe box than a room. Maya had thought that Josh's dorm back in new york had been small, but it was like a palace compared to what she was spending the summer in. The room consisted of a slender dorm sized twin bed pressed against the wall, there was a thin and tall chest of drawers with a small desk cramped in beside it. There wasn't a bathroom connected to her room, but rather she shared a communal washroom with the other program students on her floor. The one upside of the tiny living space was the massive window that nearly filled the whole back wall of Maya's dorm room. The art school who was running the summer program was located in Paris's latin quarter and Maya thought that the view from her window was one of the most beautiful things she had ever seen. Just like New York, Paris was alive at all hours of the night and while Maya struggled to sleep she enjoyed listening to the sounds of the city from her place in her tiny bed.

Maya was friendly with all the people she had met in her program and had started to make decent friends with a few of them, but she still wasn't one hundred percent comfortable. She really enjoyed the classes and the exercises that she took part in during the day, but at least at first the nights and weekends were harder for Maya. She went out with the others from her program, exploring the city and planning trips out for later in the summer, but as she tried to remain anchored in the moment, waves of sadness still washed over her at the least inopportune times. Maya thought that some of the people she had met could tell that there was something off with her, but she wasn't exactly forth coming with her information. After all there was nothing that killed a mood better than announcing to a group at large that your mother had recently died from brain cancer and that you were only being held together with tape and glue. After a while Maya thought that a few of the girls had figured out or at least guessed at her secret . It was possible that they had scrolled back far enough on her social media accounts to see the messages of condolence and support that people had posted on her wall after Katy had succumb to her disease.

Maya kept in contact with the people she had left behind back in new york the best as she could. Riley had spent the first two weeks of summer in Texas meeting more of Lucas family. The two did their best to video chat whenever they could during that time, but it was made even more difficult by the added extra hours of time difference between them. They emailed back and forth, and both sent pictures from their trips, Rileys of horses and a rolling ranch, and Maya's of the Paris city landscape. Maya also emailed back and forth with Shawn multiple times a day, and facetimed with him nearly every night and never less than three times a week. There interactions were mostly Maya explaining her day and sharing what she had seen that day around the city, and Shawn asking if she was okay once every thirty five seconds. Maya found it sweet how much he worried about her being away from home, and found it funny how Shawn seemed almost sure that they were going to have to play out the movie "Taken" before the summer was out.

They didn't talk much about Katy. She was almost a taboo subject. They had rarely talked about her outside of their therapist office when Maya had been in New York and now that there was an ocean between them, talking about Katy was even harder. The thought of her was always in the air around them, but they could barely stand to bring her up. It was hard enough to think about her, let alone say anything out loud. It was hardest for the two of them. The ones who had loved her the most. The one who had needed her the most, and now the ones who missed her the most. Shawn had lost the love of his life, and Maya had lost her mother, and the only person who had always been there for her since day one.

Maya spoke with Farkle and Zay a few times. They would text back and forth and email on occasion but they weren't in constant contact the way Riley and Maya or Riley and Shawn were. The only other person Maya was in regular contact with was unsurprisingly Josh. After their first video chat in the middle of the night in New York the two had been chatting fairly regularly. Josh was often online in the early hours of the morning waiting to round on his floor, and it happened to coincide with Maya's morning break in scheduled program activity when she often could be found in her dorm room. Josh had a lot of crazy stories to share about the different people who lived on the floor he was in charge of, and Maya had more than enough to share about the goings on of her program and all the people who was in the program and the dorms with her. The idea of staying up late each night he was assigned to round became a lot easier for Josh when he knew he could look forward to video chatting with Maya. One of the favourite parts of his day was seeing her face light up with laughter when he retold her the story of an exchange student who was attempting to breed hamsters in his dorm room. Josh loved to see Maya laugh, and he loved being able to be the one who could make her do it. He still saw the sadness in her eyes, and he still saw how tired and drained she seemed most days, but he could also see that she was getting a little bit stronger every day that went by. There was more than a few nights that Josh wasn't on duty but he still stayed up late to be able to talk with Maya. He was glad she was enjoying her trip, but at the same time he was looking forward to her coming home.

It wasn't always the middle of the night that Josh and Maya chatted. Sometimes when it was the middle of the night in Paris and Maya couldn't sleep she would call Josh. It would only be early evening in New York and Maya could have called anyone, but she always chose Josh. Maya knew she could call Shawn or Riley, but also knew that the both of him would jump on her with concern about why she couldn't sleep. Josh worried about her but he never pressed her about what was wrong, or pressed her for answers about why she wasn't sleeping.

One night Josh was over at his brother's house doing his laundry as always. He had his laptop open and balanced on top of the laundry machine, on a video call with Maya. They were talking and goofing around as usual, Maya teasing him about his inability to fold his laundry. Suddenly the door to the laundry room flung open and Riley flounced into the room with a pile of dirty shirts and socks in her hand.

" Maya!" Riley exclaimed excitedly dropping her laundry on the floor and rushing over to where Maya was depicted on the screen.

" How are you? I miss you! What time is it there?" Riley asked in a rush. Before Maya could answer the laundry door flung open again and Cory and Topanga entered the room, crowding into the tiny space.

" Did someone say Maya?" Cory asked heading over to the computer and pushing Josh out of the way in the process.

Shawn stuck his head into the room next.

" Maya?" He asked excitedly pushing his way into the already at capacity room. Within the moment Auggie had rushed into the room as well, not really caring that Maya was on the phone and more just wanting to be where the action was. With so many people in the laundry room, Josh had been forced out into the hallway. He shook his head, a smile on his face and walked away. There would be plenty of more time to talk to Maya later. In fact, they had all night.


	11. Chapter 11

Someday Soon Chapter 11

" I don't see her yet!" Riley exclaimed, standing on her tiptoes and craned her necks in an attempt to see through the crowed.

" Calm down. Her flights only just arrived a few minutes ago. She probably isn't even through customs yet." Topanga said sensibility, although she seemed to be the only adult around thinking like a grown up. Shawn was rocking back and forth in excitement and anxiety, trying to see through the crowded just like Riley.

" Do you think that could be her?" Shawn asked uncertainly, tugging on Cory's arm to get his attention.

Topanga rolled her eyes but smiled at her daughter and her friends excitement. It was the end of August and the small group was gathered at JFK airport waiting for Maya's 8am flight to arrive from Paris. Both Shawn and Riley were overly excited about Maya's return to the states and had been rushing Cory and Topanga out the door that morning in fear that they would be late to the airport to pick Maya up.

…...

Maya was also excited to finally be home. Her summer had been exciting, full of adventures and new experiences, but it had also been incredibly draining. She was ready to finally be home, but she wasn't sure if she was ready for the rush of emotions that would come with being back in the city where she had lived with and lost her mother.

As Shawn had flown with her to Paris to drop her off, the flight back to New York was the first time that Maya had ever flown alone. She had been nervous at first about navigating customs and finding her way to the correct gates in the different sections of the airport. Maya had managed and eventually made her connecting flight from London to New York without any trouble. Maya had tried to book a direct flight from Paris to New York but hadn't been able to find a seat available for the date of her departure.

The flight from London to New York was just over 7 hours long as the head wind was working against them. Maya had fidgeted in her aisle seat, trying to distract herself with her book or the inflight films being offered but she still couldn't seem to shake the feeling of uneasiness. She wasn't sure if it was the flight itself that was making her nervous or the idea of finally seeing everyone back in New York again. Maya missed everyone dearly, but before she had left everyone had been tip toeing around her and handeling her as if she might break at any moment. Would it still be like that when she got back? Would it feel as if nothing had changed? Or would they have started a new chapter in their lives? Would a page have been flipped where they were still struggling with their grief but no longer drowning in it?

Maya's heart tightened as the wheels of the plane touched down on the runway of JFK airport in New York. Maya had had seven hours to go over and over what might happen when she finally saw everyone again, and now it was time to find out.

Maya kept her composure all the way through customs but as soon as the arrival area was in sight and the baggage claim drew near she felt her heart began to beat harder and harder. She scanned the faces of the people in the crowed as she approached. Searching for anyone familiar.

Suddenly Riley's face appeared 15 feet in front of her, heading in her direction at a spirt. Before Maya could register much else her best friend had flung herself into her arms and was hugging her as fiercely as she ever had before in her life. Riley was nearly shrieking in excitement as she clutched onto Maya and almost jumped up and down with excitement. After a few more moments of excitement the two broke apart.

Shawn was right there to pull Maya into a hug the second Riley had let her go.

" Hey Kid." he said as he wrapped an arm around her and pulled her into him. He hugged her tightly as if he was trying to put a lot of unsaid things into the embrace.

"It's good to have you home."

…..

The cab ride back from the airport was crowded, with the three adults and two teenagers all stuffed into a single cab. Maya, Riley, Cory, and Shawn were all crammed into the back of the cab while Topanga rode up front with the driver. Maya was very flattered that they had all wanted to come to the airport to pick her up but didn't understand why they would all brave a forty minute drive plus traffic each way just to see her a little earlier, when they could have waited more comfortably at home.

Maya understood why Shawn would pick her up, and Riley tagging along seemed only natural. Maya had been surprised to see Cory and Topanga at the airport as well. She thought it was very sweet of them, but from the way the two of them, Shawn and Riley kept exchanging secretive and mischievous glances at one another. Maya knew something must be up, and she finally understood when they pulled up infront of the matthews apartment building, and Topanga's cafe.

Only it wasn't Topanga's anymore. The signs had all changed and a new name had been etched into the glass of the massive front window.

Maya nearly stopped breathing when her mind slowed down enough to register what she was seeing in front of her. The words

 _Harts Heart_ _Cafe and Coffee_ was scrolled across the glass. Maya felt Topanga's arm slide around her shoulders.

" We hope you're okay with this. We wanted to do something to honour her. Your mom was a really big part of this place."

Maya reached up and wiped the single tear that had run down her face away.

" She would have loved this. She loved working here." Maya said quietly, and leaned her head against Topanga's shoulder.

…

In the time that Maya had been away, Shawn all of their belongs out of their old apartment. Shawn had spoken to Maya over the phone about doing such, and had decided together that for the time being the best thing to do was to put all of Katys items in storage. Neither of them were

really ready to go through all her things in their entirety.

Topanga had tipped Shawn off that their upstairs neighbours would be moving, and Shawn had been able to approach the landlord about leasing the apartment before it was even on the market.

This would make climbing into Riley's bedroom window far simpler for Maya to execute on a daily basis, and it also allowed for Maya to continue to hang around the matthews apartment without having to deal with the commute.

. …..

Auggie had was the only one who had stayed home from going to the airport to pick up Maya. At barely 10 years old Auggie wasn't old enough to stay home alone for so many consecutive hours. Cory had enlisted Josh to watch Auggie while the rest of the family headed off to the airport.

Auggie and Josh were waiting in the living room when the rest of the Matthews plus Shawn and Maya entered the apartment.

Josh's face broke into a brilliant smile when Maya walked into the apartment. In turn Maya dropped her bags onto the floor and walked right over into Josh's open arms. The two hugged fiercely for a moment before breaking apart.

The room had gone quiet as everyone watched the exchange between Maya and Josh.

" What?" Maya asked, as she continued to lean against Josh's side.

" We're friends. Have you all not picked up on that yet?" Maya asked sarcastically.

"Friends…" said Topanga with a knowing tone of voice.

" Right."


	12. Chapter 12

Someday Soon Chapter 12

The arrival of september meant that RIley and Maya had to start thinking about their college applications. There was the possibility of re taking the SATs but Maya wasn't sure she was mentally prepared to go through that experience again.

Riley was applying to a wide array of universities and dozens of different programs as she couldn't make a decision about what she wanted to do with her future to save her life. She didn't want to limit herself, so Riley decided to apply to nearly everything that some what interested her. She was writing more essays than she had in her entire life and was charging her parents credit cards dozens of times to pay for application fees.

Maya had a fair share of applications to fill out herself, but not nearly the same amount that her best friend was taking on. Maya had somewhat focused on what she wanted to pursue. She was looking into art programs and education courses. She loved her art but she also wanted to be able to teach and share what she was learning with others.

Then came the question about if Maya wanted to stay in the city or not. Riley was applying to schools all over the country, but was Maya ready to move that far out of her comfort zone? Going to Paris had been such an out of this world experience for her, but was Maya ready to make that big a change when it wasn't just for 8 weeks over the summer? Yet was staying in new york the best choice either? Would staying be stifling? After all, it was the only thing she had ever known.

…..

Now that school was back in and Maya was actually attending classes once again, she was spending most of her free time either at the Matthews apartment or at the Cafe. The rest of her friends were sometimes there too, however, every member of the group apart from Maya was now in a relationship. So they often broke off on their own after school and hung out with their significant others.

Maya was fine with that. She wasn't envious of her friends and their relationships. She was more than content to be on her own most of the time. Then she didn't have to but on a brave face if she was having a bad day, or pretend to be interested when all her mind could do was go to the darkest places it knew.

Who Maya often did hang out with after school, was Josh. He was still working at the cafe after school, or between his classes, and Maya could often be found at the coffee house counter during his shifts. When the place was busy, Maya would just sit at the counter, her books spread out in front of her, nursing the same cup of coffee and ignoring the glares she got from certain customers who were annoyed that she was taking up so much space.

Once when someone had confronted her about taking up so much counter space, and she had turned to the man with the most confident and intimidating look she could muster and said with a calm and almost demanding voice.

" That's my name on the door" and gestured to the word Hart etched into the glass of the store front. With that she whipped her head around letting her hair wap in the man's direction and turned back to her work. Josh, who had been watching the whole interaction, had to bite the inside of his lip to keep from laughing out loud.

When the shop was quieter, Josh and Maya would talk or quiz each other about whatever the other was studying for school.

On nights when Josh was closing the shop, Maya would often stay around past public hours and wait while Josh closed up and wiped down all the tables and surfaces. Maya could often be found sitting behind the front counter, between the expresso machine and milk frother. Talking animatedly with Josh, or reading one of his assigned readings out loud to him while he continued to work. She was around the shop so much that Josh began to joke that she should throw on an apron and make Topanga start paying her.

One night Maya was flipping through one of Josh's ridiculously large psychology textbooks and came across a paragraph that had been marked with a sticky note. The heading of the paragraph was _Dealing with and Overcoming Grief._ Maya smirked and flipped over the textbook so the pages were facing Josh.

" Have you been studying up on me?" She joked, watching as Josh stopped to look at her and then roll his eyes.

" No really. Go ahead. Psycho Analyze me. Maybe you'll be really really good and Shawn can stop paying for me to see a therapist three times a week. Maybe i'll even let you ask me all my favourite questions. _How are you doing? Are you okay? How are you feeling?_ " Maya joked, counting off the questions on her fingers and smirking at Josh who was trying to hold back his laughter.

Maya hopped down from the counter and helped Josh finish cleaning up the coffee house. They joked around as they wiped down the counters and tables and swept up the crumbs from the floor. Once they were finished, they gathered up their stuff and headed for the door. Unfortunately the handle of Maya's book bag caught on one of the chairs and the contents of her bag spilled over the floor of the cafe.

Maya let out a huff of frustration as both she and Josh leaned down to gather up her fallen items.

" What are all these?" Josh asked hesitantly as he pulled together the mass amounts of pamphlets that had fallen from her bag.

" Oh yeah, that." Maya said looking at papers Josh was holding.

" There was a college fair at school today, so i grabbed a brochure from schools that looked okay. You should have seen Riley. I think she grabbed a pamphlet from every single table there. She had at least thirty five by the time all was said and done."

Josh was quiet as he handed the pamphlets back to Maya. They walked out of the cafe, and Maya stood beside him as Josh re locked the coffee houses door. They said goodbye to each other and went their separate ways.

As Josh walked home the things he had seen had bounced around his head. He and Maya had spoken a little bit about what she had wanted to do after high school when he had been helping her study for the SAT, but looking at her college choices put a pit in his stomach.

The pamphlets he had see were as followed.

Hudson University - New York City, New York

The New School- New York City, New York

Fordham University- New York City, New York

Those first three choices weren't what bothered Josh. Those were perfectly good schools, and he thought Maya would he a good fit for any of them. It was the other schools that put a weird pain in his chest.

Rhode Island School of design - Providence, Rhode Island

Boston University - Boston, Massachusetts

UNC Chapel Hill- Chapel Hill, North Carolina.

Josh was closing in on his final year at NYU, but was committed to start his masters degree at Columbia. He was going to be in New York for at least two more years, and he was hoping to stay in the city to get his doctorate/PHD as well. He hadn't even thought about the possibility of Maya going out of the city for university, let alone out of state. Of the three out of state schools on Maya's list the closest was over two hours away and the farthest was close to 8 hours of driving distance.

It was while Josh was sitting on the subway on his way back to his dorm when Josh realized that he was in real trouble. He was sitting there, actually stressing out about Maya's college choices. He had talked to her nearly every day while she was in France, but he had still missed her. Now that they were seeing eachother almost everyday, and talking all the time Josh couldn't imagine not seeing her all the time.

He looked forward to seeing her walk into the coffee house during his shifts. All he wanted to do was talk to her, tell her about his day, hear her laugh, hold her hand and…..shit. Josh really was in trouble.


	13. Chapter 13

Someday Soon Chapter: 13

Josh had known that he had feelings for Maya for years, even before he and Maya had admitted as much to each other. He knew those feeling weren't going away, but he wasn't aware just how strong they were until he had been faced with the idea that Maya might not be around that much longer.

Over the years their interactions had grown from harmless and flirtatious to a extremely close friendship. Their connection had grown to so much more than Josh had ever imagined. Maya confided in him and came to him for help. They could goof around and tease each other but they also knew that they could count on one another whenever they needed to.

What would Josh do if Maya went to Boston, RISD, or Chapel Hill? What would it be like not seeing her almost everyday? Josh had said he in in it for the long game, but would the game end all together if Maya left the city? They could still see each other in passing over school breaks and at family holidays ( as the Matthew clan and Shawn and Maya were basically a package deal now), but they would no longer be the way they were now.

Would Maya leave for Boston, or Providence and never return? She would probably meet some guy, fall in love and never look back. She could go on and live her life like he had once told her too, and without her even noticing their chance at someday would have long since passed them by.

Could Josh live with himself if he never even gave them as a couple a chance? He had feelings for her, and strong ones, but he still knew that it wasn't the right time for them, not just yet. Maya may be in her senior year, but she was still in high school. Things would be entirely different if Maya was graduated already, but that wasn't the case. There was the possibility of them being together soon, but that could never happen if Maya left New York all together.

But what could Josh do? He couldn't tell Maya where to do to school, but he also couldn't tell her why he didn't want her to leave. He couldn't be the reason that Maya chose to stay in state. If going to Massachusetts, Rhode Island, or North Carolina was what she really wanted, then that's what she should do. Who was Josh to stop her if that was her dream?

Still, he didn't want her to go. His life had changed so much since Maya had come into it, and he couldn't imagine how much it would change again if she left. Josh wished he could just tell her to stay.

The only angle Josh seemed to have going for him was that Shawn was campaigning for Maya to stay in New York. Shawn still traveled for work quite often but his home base was in New York. He was writing a column for the New Yorker in addition to his work with "Hit the road". Shawn planned on playing every card he had in his deck when it came to getting Maya to stay, guilt, pleading, and now bribery.

Maya pushed open the door to the cafe, her surprise gift from Shawn in her arms. People at the tables around her gasped and awed as she passed by, but Maya paid no attention to them, walking straight up to the counter and pulling out her usual stool with one hand.

Josh turned from the register to greet Maya but stopped in his tracks when he saw what she was holding in her arms.

" Um, I don't think that's allowed in here?" Josh said incredulously, gesturing to the long eared lap dog who was sitting on Maya's legs and leaning its head down on the counter. Maya narrowed her eyes at him.

" Excuse me. Name. Door." She said gesturing from herself to the door and back as if it was obvious. Josh rolled his eyes and shook his head at her.

"Fine. But if my aunt comes in you can explain to her why you're breaking the health code." Maya smirked at her and continued to scratch behind the ears of the small dog in her lap.

" So what's this then?" Josh asked gesturing to the dog , while whipping up the counter in front of him.

" This." Maya picking the dog up off her lap and into her arms as if to put him on display.

" is Shawn latest attempt at a " Please don't leave me, please go to school in New York' present." Maya stated, lifting the dog up closer to her face and nearly cooing at the dog, who wriggled in her arms trying to lick her face.

" A puppy?" Josh asked, smirking at Shawn's cunning ways.

" A dog. A perfectly lovely rescue dog, from a shelter in Brooklyn." Maya said lovingly as the dog nuzzled into her neck.

" He plays dirty." Josh joked, amused, but secretly thrilled.

"Tell me about it! I begged my mom for a dog for years, and of course the second i even consider leaving the city Shawn gets a dog. How am i supposed to even think about leaving this face?" Maya asked, raising the dog up to her face and pressing his cheek to her own.

" Then is Shawn's plan working?" Josh asked, pretending not to be wondering for himself, as he placed down the same piece of cheesecake the Maya always ordered in front of her. Maya picked up her fork and dug in.

"Well i mean i was probably never going to leave anyway." Maya admitted trying to hold her new dog back from the food on the plate in front of them. Josh felt his heart fly up into his throat.

" Applying to BU is really just a shot in the dark. I applied to RISD because my art teacher suggested it. Don't get me wrong it's an incredible school and the program looks amazing but in the long run i don't think it would be the right choice for me. Acceptance wise, the new school is probably my best bet but." Maya faded off , taking another large bite of her cheesecake to avoid having to speak.

" Is that where you want to go?" Josh prompted, watching Maya carefully. Maya sighed and thought for a moment before speaking.

" Lets just say, that hypothetically i got into every school i applied to, which wont happen, but if it did, I think that i would want to go Hudson."

Josh tired not to let his obvious relief show on his face.

"Hudson." Josh said, as if he was just re stated the school's name to be clear. Maya nodded slowly as she took another bite of her food.

"Yeah. i mean I thought about going out a state. Hell i applied out of state but i just don't think i'm ready to leave new york. It's home." Maya finished simply, stroking the dog's ears.

"But i'm not going to tell Shawn yet. I mean i already got a puppy, who knows what coming next." She said with a smirk, pushing away the plate and getting to her feet, the dog in her arms.

"You're coming to thanksgiving tomorrow right?" Maya asked, referring to the gathering at the Matthews apartment the next day. Josh nodded, and Maya shot him a smile.

"Perfect. I'll see you there." She said, throwing down some cash to cover her bill, shooting Josh a smile and walking out the door.

Josh watched her go and smiled to himself, and all he hoped for now was for Maya to get an acceptance letter to Hudson University.


	14. Chapter 14

Someday Soon chapter 14

The cafe was closed for thanksgiving, and class was canceled for the holiday, so Josh's whole morning and afternoon was free until 4 o'clock when he would have to show up to his brothers house for thanksgiving dinner. His parents were staying in Philadelphia for the holiday with Morgan, and Josh wasn't able to go home for the weekend as he was one of the on call RA's for the weekend. Cory had said Josh was more than welcome to join in at dinner at his house. Auggie was thrilled that his uncle was coming over for dinner. Josh often had at least one dinner a week at his brother's apartment, but Auggie never got any less excited to have his uncle around. With Maya around the apartment all the time, Auggie often felt out numbered by all the women in his life, and loved nothing more than to have Josh around to goof around with.

In fact Josh had half expected to be tackled by by his nephew the second he walked through the door of Cory and Topanga's apartment. Instead he got a different type of greeting. Once Josh walked through the door at a quarter to four o'clock he was immediately charged by a yipping overly excited dog who was jumping up and down around his ankles, wagging his tail happily. Josh leaned down and scooped the dog up who quickly began to lick his face.

" At least someone's happy to see me." Josh joked as he continued to hold the overly excited dog.

"My brother!" Cory exclaimed, walking over to wrap his arm around his younger brother's shoulder, greeting him as if they hadn't just seen each other the other day. Josh clapped his brother on the shoulder and waved a greeting to Topanga and Shawn who were in the kitchen already hard at work on the thanksgiving dinner.

"There's my baby." Maya said, emerging for the back of the apartment with Riley and Making a b line for the dog. She stopped by Josh's side to scratch behind her dog's ears.

" and he's holding my dog." Maya joked, lifting the dog from Josh's arms as he willingly handed him to her. Josh laughed, as did several other people in the room. Not Shawn however, who was remembering the previous years thanksgiving and the interaction he had witnessed between Maya and Josh. That coupled with the twos reactions to Maya returning from france, Shawn was sceptical of the relationship between the two. He had been protective of Maya before her mother's death, but now that Katy was gone, Shawn knew that he would do absolutely anything to protect his daughter.

Maya walked over to the couch and Josh followed her as they both sat down next to Riley. Moments later Auggie came running out from his room and sprung onto Josh's lap with excitement. Auggies arrival spooked the dog on Maya's lap who jumped with fright and jumped down from the couch to find under the love seat.

" Does the mutt have a name yet?" Josh asked watching as the little dog tried to squish his way farther under the chairs. Maya sighed, as if this topic was a very taxing thought

" Not yet. At the shelter they just called him A35 to keep track of him in the system. He's got such a distinct little face, i've got to find a name that fits just right."

" I'm still a fan of eric." The senator announced emerging from the bathroom by the kitchen. Maya rolled her eyes and shook her head at her best friends uncle.

The dog had left from under the couch and was now in the kitchen, sniffing around Topanga and Shawns feet as they cooked. Topanga took a step back and nearly stepped on the dog who yipped and went running back to the couch and jumped on Maya's lap.

"Jesus!" Topanga exclaimed, frightened by the dog.

"A dog Shawn? Really?" Topanga asked in slight frustration. Shawn shrugged his shoulders

"Desperate times call for desperate measures." Shawn explained simply as an explanation.

Josh threw Maya a knowing look and she quickly shushed him, swatting at his knee before going back to petting the dog in her lap. Josh smiled and shook her head at her.

….

Around an hour later the group was settling around the dinner table and before they began to dish out food they went around the table and took part in the tradition of sharing what they were thankful for. Maya bit her lip as she listened to everyone around the table share their thanks. It had been a hard year for her, and although she knew she had much to be thankful for, in that moment all she could think about was what she had lost.

When it was her turn Maya took a deep breath and tried to calm her heavy beating heart as she spoke.

" After everything i've lost this year, i'm really grateful for everyone i've got left." Maya said simply looking down at her empty dinner plate. Shawn, who was sitting beside her, wrapped an arm around her, pulled her close to him and placed a kiss on her forehead.

After everyone had shared, they all dug into the mountains of food on the table in front of them. There was a huge turkey, stuffing, mash potato, brussel sprouts, carrots and peas. There were hot buttered rolls and near over flowing boats of gravy. Everyone loaded up their plates and talked with their mouths full as they laughed and shared, a food fight nearly breaking out between Auggie, Eric, and Cory before Topanga broke out her death glare and broke that up rather quickly.

Dinner slowly disbrust as everyone felt tired and sluggish from their big dinner. Everyone looked for a comfortable spot in the apartment to crash out for minute. Maya was lounging on the couch with the dog in her lap. She looked around and didn't see Riley anywhere. Maya sluggishly got off the couch and headed back towards Rileys room. She knocked on the door and waited for Riley to give her permission to enter. After a second Riley called for her to come in and Maya pushed open the door.

"What's up Kitten?" Maya asked, slightly concerned as she saw Riley sitting by the bay window, her phone in her hand, looking slightly upset. Riley shook her head as if to clear her thoughts.

" It's nothing. Lucas is in Texas this weekend and he just… it's nothing." Riley said not meeting Maya's eye.

" Riles.." Maya began going to sit down next to her friend. However before Maya could ask Riley anything else the bedroom door opened once again. Eric stuck his head into the room and looked around until he met the young girl's eyes.

" Game time.' He announced almost as if he was summoning them. Riley was about to protest but eric put up a finger to silence her.

" Games. Pies. Living room. No exceptions." Eric said, opening the door wider and gesturing for the girls to exit.

" Let's go!" eric exclaimed not moving until both girls were walking away from the window and towards the living room.

Everyone gathered around the living room a collection of games on the coffee table. People began to argue about what to play when it was decided that they should pair into teams of two and play catch phrase. Auggie had crashed out already and was sleeping soundly on the carpet, so they were left with an odd number. Eric volunteered to referee the matches rather than participate as he knew that the competitive nature in this family needed to be closely monitored and reigned in so complete chaos would ensue.

The next struggle came when it came to picking who should be on whose teams.

" Oh no!" Topanga said looking at Shawn and Cory who had immediately jumped together to announce their partnership.

" You two can't be together, that's unfair to the rest of us who don't share a brain." Topanga stated with her hands on her hips. Cory pouted while Shawn got defensive.

" Well then you two can't be partners either!" Shawn spat, gesturing between Topanga and her husband. Cory gave him a look.

" Are you kidding? I never know what she's thinking." Cory stated, staring at her friend exasperated.

" Well if i can't be partners with Cory, than Maya can't be partners with Riley." Shawn said defiantly. Maya and Riley, who had been sitting together and chatting quietly, heads shot up in anger.

"Hey!" Maya protested shooting a glare at her step father.

" Sorry kid." Shawn said, shrugging his shoulders.

" It's only fair." Maya shook her head at him.

" Alright listen up." Eric began taking charge of the room.

" Here's how it's going to be. Riley with Cory, Shawn with Topanga, Maya and Josh. No buts!" Eric said, cutting Topagana off before she had the chance to complain.

" Let the games begin!" Eric announced, slamming his hand down on the buzzer and starting the game before anyone was really ready.

…..

After an hour and several rounds of the game, nearly everyone was completely frustrated and defeated. Everyone except for Maya and Josh, who had won every single round but one. Their one failure had come when maya had sneezed during her turn and cost them a vital amount of time, costing them the round.

Everyone had gasped and stared at Maya and Josh as they dominated during their turns. They could guess what the other was explaining seconds after their partner began their explanation. Maya would make an obscure reference that no one understood but Josh would pick up on it in a single second.

Shawn and Cory exchanged exasperated looks over the table while they played, not believing that they were all being played by these teenagers.

After playing, everyone got up and started to clear up the dessert dishes and clean up the rest of the kitchen that had been left until later.

Josh was standing at the sick, scrapping the stuck on crust off a pie plate, when Shawn walked up beside him, placing dishes down next to the sink and opening the dishwasher.

" Josh" Shawn began casually.

" Shawn" Josh prompted, still scrubbing at the plate.

" I've known you your whole life. I mean i was there when you were born. You're my best friends baby brother, you're like family to me." Shawn continued.

" But you know, I have eyes. I notice things. Things between you, and someone else. Maybe something's going on, maybe something isn't." Shawn said shrugging his shoulders.

" So all i'll say is, whatever this is, don't hurt her. Remember, i grew up in a trailer park. I know how to kick somebody's ass." Shawn finished, clapping Josh on the back and walking away.

Josh stood in shock at the sink, feeling the intimidation of Shawn's words, but also fighting the urge to laugh.


	15. Chapter 15

Someday Soon chapter 15

" You know we're breaking about about six school rules right now?" Josh said, sitting on his desk chair and looking at the dog perched on his dorm room bed. NYU had a strict no pets policy in their dorms, and as an RA Josh was the last person who should be sneaking an animal into their room.

" I'm supposed to be enforcing the laws not breaking them. You're going to get me fired or kicked out ."

Maya, who was sitting on Josh's dorm room floor, surrounded in wrapping paper scoffed at him.

" Oh you're going to Columbia next year anyway. Worst comes to worse you'll just have to crash out on your brothers couch for a new month's." Maya joked, taking the side of a pair of scissors and curling a large length of ribbon.

" Besides, I had to bring him. Shawns working all day, and Hudson hates being home alone." Maya stated, reaching up to scratch behind the small dog's ears. Maya had toiled over what to name the dog before she had finally settled on Hudson. She thought naming the dog such was a way of sort of manifesting an acceptance to the university, and if she didn't get in...well she'd just tell people he was named after the river.

Maya had snuck Hudson into Josh's dorm building by zipping him into her puffy winter jacket. It was early december and everyone was bulked up against the cold, so the extra lump in her down jacket went unquestioned by anyone who saw her. It was a saturday afternoon and Maya was dropping by Josh's place at his request to help him wrap his christmas gifts. After the disastrous wrapping job Maya had had to correct the year before Josh thought it would be better to cut out the middleman and just ask Maya to help him from the start.

So there Maya was on Josh's rooms floor, surrounded by colourful christmas themed wrapping paper, double sized tape, and what seemed like more than enough ribbons to wrap every single christmas and hanukkah gifts in all of New York state.

Maya took her time to wrap each present as precisely possible, making every corner sharp and even. When it came to wrapping presents Maya had all the precision of a sharp shooter. Maya had an affinity for folding paper, and when their class had studied Japan in the sixth grade Maya had made origami for hours on end, never growing bored of creating the different objects out of just a flat piece of paper.

While Maya worked on wrapping the gifts for Josh, the two of them chatted idly about the holidays.

Everyone, including Shawn and Maya were headed to Philadelphia for the christmas holiday, to spend christmas at Josh's parents house.

" I don't understand how we're all going to fit under one roof." Maya mused as she placed a piece of tape neatly on the underside of a folded paper flap. It was a valid point. They were a large group, how were they all going to fit into the Matthew's childhood home?

There was Alan and Amy of course. Then their four children, Eric, Cory, Morgan, and Josh. Add in Corys wife and kids, Morgans fiancee, and Shawn and Maya they were up to twelve people. Amy had insisted that no one should get a hotel room, stating that it would be too depressing for anyone to wake up in a hotel on christmas away from their family. She had insisted that they could all fit into the Matthews house, no matter if it was a tight squeeze.

" Oh whats a dozen people plus a dog." Josh joked. Maya looked up from the gifts and smirked at him.

" How much do you want to bet that half the house will be begging for Mr. Feeney's guest room by boxing day?"

After Maya had finished the wrapping of the presents and she and Josh had sat around talking for awhile it was finally time for her to head back to her apartment. Maya put her coat back on and lifted Hudson inside of the lining before zipping it. Josh stood in his open door while Maya walked down the hallway, the two still talking until she was out of site.

Josh's friend, Randall, who lived across the hall had just so happened to be leaving his dorm room as Maya was existing Joshs.

Randall stood in his doorway until Maya was safely gone, before turning to Josh.

" Was that the same girl i saw doing the walk of shame out of your place last year?" Randall asked, smirking at Josh knowingly. Josh rolled his eye's at his friend.

" A: That was not a walk of shame. Nothing happened, she just crashed out in my room, and b: shut up." Josh said defensively, moving back into his room and shutting the door in Randall's laughing face.

…..

There was a record amount of snowfall in Philadelphia that year, making the hour and a half train ride up to Philly from New York far more enjoyable. Everyone, apart from Eric, traveled down from the city together on the 23rd. Maya and Riley sat together across from Josh and Auggie. Hudson was sleeping peacefully on Maya's lap, snoring softly. Across the aisle Shawn and Cory were sitting together chatting across from Topanga who was reading a case file. Topanga was only permitted to work until they reached their destination. After that she was expected to put her work aside and enjoy the holiday with the whole family.

Once they reached Philly, they met up with Alan, Amy, and Morgan. Everyone said hello and exchanged hugs before piling into Morgan's car, and the Matthews SUV. Once they arrived at the house, they could no longer put off figuring out the logistics of where everyone would be sleeping for the next few days. There were three bedrooms upstairs including Alan and Amy's, a bedroom in the basement, as well as a rec room., Shawn, Eric ,Josh, and Augie would be going back to their roots and all be sharing the room that Eric and Cory shared growing up and that had been Josh's room after all his siblings had moved out. Morgan and her fiance were staying in her old room. Cory and Topanga were staying in the basement bedroom, and Maya and Riley were crashing on the pull out couch in the Rec room.

Christmas eve was a busy day for all. Between decorating the sugar cookies that Amy had cooked the day before, building snowmen and snow forts with the mass amounts of snow that had been falling over the past few days, no one had much time to breathe between festivities. There was a large prime rib dinner followed by several desserts. They all watched old christmas cartoons before they all faded off to bed. Before finally headed up or down the stairs to their prospective rooms, they each in turn hung up a stockings on the mantle. The twelve different pouches were all crowded together on hooks, waiting to be filled. Amy had volunteered to be in charge of the stockings that year, so she had to wait for everyone to go to bed before she could play "santa' and fill up the stockings.

…

It was just past two am when Josh woke up. Despite the early hour he was suddenly very awake. He had an odd pit in his stomach, as if he could tell that something was off. After laying in bed for a moment he decided to get up. He climbed out of his bed as quietly as possible, careful not to wake up Eric, Shawn, or Auggie who were all sleeping around him.

Josh began to sneak down the stairs with the intention of getting a glass of water. Josh stopped halfway when he noticed that the living room below him wasn't empty. The blue glow of the tv was illuminating Maya's figure on the couch. Her back was too him, and an old black and white movie played on the screen.

" Hey" Josh said quietly as he continued to move down the stairs. Maya turned her head to look at him and Josh was slightly shocked to see the glaze of almost tears over her eyes.

"Hey" Maya said her voice a little hoarse. Josh moved around the couch to sit with her. Hudson was sleeping on Maya's lap as Josh sat down. He knew that something had been up with her that day. She had been participating in all the activities throughout the day, laughing and smiling, but Josh could see her reservation and the sadness in her eyes.

" Couldn't sleep?" He asked, watching the screen in front of them. Maya shook her head, running her fingers through her hair. They were silent for a moment before Maya spoke again.

" I used to watch this movie with my mom every christmas." She said quietly, still looking forward, and still not looking at him, Josh moved closer and wrapped his arm around the back of the couch behind her.

"Maya-" he began but she started to speak once again.

" I've had a lot of firsts without her already. The first day going into a new grade without her there. The first thanksgiving she's missed, i got through that, but for a really long time Christmas was always just the two of us, and now she's gone. Everything's just a little bit harder today." Maya said shrugging slightly. Josh moved his arm down off the couch and around Maya. He rubbed her shoulder comfortingly, and she looked over and gave him a small sad smile.

" i know it's not the same thing, but would you mind if i watched with you?" Josh asked referring to the movie on the screen. Maya shot him another smile

" I'd like that." Maya said, leaning into Josh's side and resting her head on his shoulder.

….

Neither Josh nor Maya were sure when they fell asleep, but both woke up and jumped apart when Alan came thundering down the stairs.

" Merry Christmas!" Alan announced to them, walking down the stairs and heading towards the kitchen.

"You two are up early. Did you just get down here?" Alan asked through the cut out from the kitchen to the living room as he started a pot of coffee.

"Yeah." Josh called through to his dad, as he and Maya looked at each other with smirks.

" Something like that."


	16. Chapter 16

Someday Soon Chapter 16

It took about an hour for everyone else to work their way down stairs on christmas morning. Auggie had been the next person down the stairs after Alan, and had been bouncing up and down in excitement waiting for everyone else to wake up so they could begin to open gifts. Josh had had to hold his nephew back from rocketing around the house and waking up every living soul under the roof who was still trying to sleep. Auggie was practically vibrating with anticipation.

Everyone dragged their feet getting into the living room to open presents just to see Auggie squirm with exasperation and excitement. All the adults had to have their coffee before they could come sit down. Topanga had watched in a state of shock as Maya poured herself a large cup of coffee and drank it black. Shawn was completely unphased by this, as he was used to Maya's morning hit of caffeine.

The Matthews tree was decorated with all the same decorations that had hung on the tree since Eric, Cory, and Morgan were little. With so many people under the roof that year the tree was overflowing and crowded with gifts. There were stacks and stacks of presents crowded around the tree, and the stockings hung on the mantle were all pushed together and filled to the brim with an assortment of treats Amy had picked out for everyone. Apart from Auggie, who still had little toys in his stocking, everyone else's was generally the same.

There were fluffy novelty socks, bookmarks, little boxes of chocolates. Tiny bottles of alcohol for the legal drinking age were included. The "kids" got little glass bottles of chocolate mix. There was a bunch of other fun little things mixed in the stockings and everyone laughed about the stupid stuff Amy had scrounged up to amuse them all.

Gift opening in it self was a process. With so many people and presents to sort out, it was hard to tell whose was what. Everyone was stuffed into the original Mathews kids childhood living room, passing fits around, oohing and awwing over what they had received and also what was given to others.

Shawn gifted Maya with the same amount of gifts that Cory and Topanga had gotten for Riley and Auggie cominded. Maya knew that Shawn's extreme gift giving probably had something to do with the guilt he felt about Katy not being able to be there for the holiday. He had gotten her new clothing, speakers, books, among other things. What stood out most to Maya was the final gift she opened from her step father. The small box contained a white ceramic mug. Maya picked it up, turned it over and nearly snorted at the words on the cup. The words i heart new york were printed in a bold print, the picture of the heart in a bright bold candy apple red.

Maya gave Shawn a look, and he shrugged at her trying to look innocent.

" Just a gentle reminder that you live in the greatest city in the world, where all the people who love you are, and where there's endless opportunity. Not saying anything else. Not saying that you'd be crazy to leave. Not saying anything."

Maya shook her head but held the box that contained the mug tightly in her lap. She still hadn't told Shawn that a New York school was her top choice. Partially because she got some element of joy to watch him squirm, but mostly because she didn't want to get his hopes up. She was afraid that if she told him she wanted to go to Hudson and then didn't get in he would be disappointed. It was better to wait out the storm and not make any hard or fast declarations until she had her acceptance letters in hand.

After everyone had opened their gifts, everyone piled up their new items and began to make their way into the kitchen for breakfast. Maya excused herself to go grab a sweater from her bag in the basement. She walked down the basement stairs and into the rec room. She walked over to where her bag was and started to dig through it when she heard someone else walking down the stairs. Maya turned to see Josh walking down the stair towards her.

"Whats up?" Maya asked as she pulled her sweater out of her bag and standing back up.

"Here" Josh said, extending his hand that was holding out a gift to her.

"Whats this?" Maya asked, taking the gift from him.

"Just open it." Josh said jokingly exasperated. Maya shook her head at him.

" Well i can tell you wrapped it yourself." She said jokingly, referring to the poorly constructed christmas wrap job. Josh laughed a bit as Maya tore off the wrapping paper of the soft package. Inside was neatly folded Dark grey sweater with the words Hudson university emblazoned on it.

" I was going to give this to you before, but i know you're not telling anyone else about school yet." Maya looked up at him with a warm smile.

" You're going to jinx it!" Maya said, pulling the sweater close to her. Josh shook her head at her.

" Well i mean you named your dog after the school. I don't think a sweater is going to be the straw that broke the camel's back."

"Hey! He could be named after the river, or Kate Hudson." Josh laughed and smiled at her again.

"Thank you." Maya said, truly grateful for the gift.

" Well now i feel like a jerk." Maya said looking down at her shoes.

" If only.." She said turning to her bag again and leaning down to ruffle through it before coming back up with a neatly wrapped box with Josh's name on it.

" I had thought to get you something." She finished, extending the gift to him with a mischievous smile.

…

The rest of christmas day passed in a blur with everyone indulging in a lot of food and dessert and enjoying all the bad christmas specials that were re running on tv. By the end of the day everyone was so exhausted and worn out that everyone slept soundly that night. Boxing day was spent mostly with everyone lounging around the house, in sweatpants and comfy sweaters watching a lot of tv and enjoying a lazy morning and afternoon.

When night rolled around most people turned in early, fading off to bed one by one. Auggie was the last one left, besides Maya and Josh, trying to stay up as late as possible as no one was enforcing a bedtime on him that night. Even so, he headed off to be without being told half an hour before midnight rolled around.

By that time it was just Josh and Maya awake. They were sitting on the couch in the livingroom watching a year without a santa claus for the second time that day. Neither of them showed any sign of being tired or wanted to head off to bed so they stayed up and continued to chat. The snow was once again falling hard and fast outside the window covering the whole street in a thick blanket of white fluff.

It was nearly two in the morning when Josh turned to Maya with a mischievous look in his eye.

"What?" Maya asked noticing his expression.

" let's go for a drive." He said getting off the couch and to his feet. Maya gave him a sceptical look.

" Where?" She asked hesitantly.

" No where. Anywhere. We're just going for a drive. No destination."  
" I'm sorry. I grew up in New York city. People avoid cars at all costs. Cars mean traffic, not spontaneous adventure."

" Come on." Josh said.

" You trust me right?" He asked extending his hand out to her. After a second, Maya nodded, took his hand and let him help her to her feet.

" Let's go."


	17. Chapter 17

Someday Soon chapter 17

The snow was falling down in thick clumps around them as Josh and Maya walked down the Matthews front walk and towards Alan and Amy's SUV crossover. No one had driven the car since it had been used to pick the group up at the airport three days prior, so a thick shelf of snow was covering the windshield and the rest of the car's exterior. Josh used his sleeve to wipe off enough snow to open the driver's door and reach inside to grab a snow brush. Josh brushed off the rest of the car as Maya pulled her sleeve down the over her hands to keep them warm as she reached for the passenger side door handle.

The two climbed in the front seats of the car and shut the door behind them. Josh turned the key in the ignition and the car's engine roared to life. The two jumped at the sound of the engine in the silence, and both glanced at the other in fear, afraid that the loud noise might have woken up any one of the sleeping occupants of the house in front of them. They watched the house, looking for a light coming on and for their break out to be discovered. After a few moments of the house remaining still and lifeless, Josh exhaled and put the car into reverse. It wasn't that it would be so awful for someone to wake up and discover them. It wasn't as if they were doing anything wrong. Alan and Amy wouldn't mind that their youngest son had borrowed the car, and it wasn't as if either Josh or Maya had some sort of curfew to comply with. Still, if someone found the two of them sneaking out together there would be a lot of questions to answer, many of which could be quite awkward. Josh knew that Shawn had his suspicions about what was going on between Maya and himself, that much was made clear from the talking to he had given to Josh at thanksgiving that year. Cory used to tease his younger brother about Maya's so called "obsession" with Josh, but had eased up as of lately, sensing something else going on.

Josh could barely answer questions about his relationship and feeling towards Maya to himself, let alone to other people. Josh wasn't confused per say, he knew how he felt. What was confusing was how he was supposed to deal with such. He couldn't act on how he felt, not yet. The right time was coming, but they weren't quite there.

Josh and Maya drove down the snowy road of the sleepy Philadelphia suburb neighbourhood. The car's heater was on full, blasting out hot air into the cab of the car in harsh contrast to the bitter cold of the night air outside. The radio was playing quietly in the background and as they drove Maya sang along softly with whatever song happened to come on.

"I didn't know you could sing." Josh said, between the road in front of him and Maya in the seat beside him. Maya looked at him confused.

"What?" She asked.

" You're a good singer." He reiterated simply. Maya blushed and squirmed in her seat.

"Shut up." She muttered with a smile, not looking at him as a way of thanks. They continued to drive around the sleepy suburb with no destination. They were just killing time, burning gas, and enjoying the others company.

Eventually they came to drive by an empty parking lot. The area had not been plowed so the painted yellow lines on the concrete were concealed .

Josh looked over at Maya mysteriously, and Maya shot a confused look back at him.

"What are you smirking at?" Maya asked, watching him carefully.

" Do you want to drift?" Josh asked. Maya's brow furrowed in confusion.

" Do i want to what?" She asked. But Josh didn't answer her. He turned the car into the empty lot.

"Ready?" he asked looking over at he

"Ready for wha-" but Maya words were cut short as as Josh gunned the engine. The car went flying forward in a burst of speed. Josh turned the wheel sharply, and then reached down to pull the cars hand break, sending the car's back end spinning out.

Maya shrieked in shock, but that sound quickly turned to laughter. Both Josh and Maya laughed in excitement as Josh did the same maneuver over and over again, spinning the car out in the empty snow covered parking lot. It was all fun and games until a whoop of a siren was heard and blue and red lights lite up behind them.

Maya's head whipped around as the car came to a stop.

" Oh my god it's the cops!" Maya exclaimed excitedly. She wasn't scared or nervous, she was nearly giddy.

" Do you think we'll be arrested? Shawn would love it if i got arrested." She said still excited. Josh gave her a disbelieving look.

" I mean don't get me wrong he'd be concerned, but this is so something he would have done at my age. It's like we would be connecting at a molecular level." Maya explained. Josh rolled his eyes at her and glancing in the rear view mirror at the approaching cop. The snow was still coming down hard so the officer's face was unclear as he reached the window. The cop rapped his knuckles on the window to signal Josh to roll it down. Josh did so, and the office leaned down and shone his flashlight into the car. What came out of the officer's mouth next shocked Maya.

"Shit. Matthews?" The guy asked in an excitable tone.

"Rigs?" Josh asked incredulously.

"Whats up man!" The officer, Rigs, reached his hand into the car and clapped Josh on the shoulder.

" You're a cop now?" Josh asked still in a state of disbelief.

" You've got a girlfriend?" Rigs asked in an equally disbelieving tone, leaning forward and shining the flashlight on Maya, who raised a hand in greeting.

" This is Maya." Josh said gesturing to Maya beside him, not bothering to correct Rigs assumption about Maya. He didn't want to get into the whole debacle of  
"This is Maya my friend, who could someday down the road be my girl friend as soon as it's considered socially appropriate."

" We went to highschool together." Josh clarified, turning to Maya, who nodded.

" I cheated off this guy's math tests for four years." Rigs said, leaning against the car in amusement.

" I'm having trouble believing that they let you carry a gun." Josh said only half joking.

" I'm having trouble believing that i just pulled you over in the middle of the night drifting with a girl in the car." Josh rolled his eyes as Rigs sniggered.

" Well" Rigs said, straightening up.

" I won't keep you." He said wiggling his eyebrows at Josh suggestively.

" Be safe out here." Rigs said, enjoying the double meaning of his words.

Maya watched Josh amused as he rolled back up the car's window. They watched as Rigs got back into his cruiser and drove away from the parking lot. They drove away from the parking lot as Maya teased him about the interaction with one of Josh's old high school classmates. They were in the middle of the road when Josh pressed the brakes and stopped the car. He looked over at Maya.

" Do you want to drive?" He asked. Maya's jaw went slack.

"What?" she asked her voice a squeek.

" Do you want to drive?" He asked again.

" I don't know how." She said.

" I'll teach you." He offered.

" I don't have a license!"

" Well we have an in with the police"

" It's four in the morning! And snowing" She countered.

" So?" Josh said looking at her seriously. Maya watched him for a moment and then made an offer.

" I will drive. You can teach me to drive. But not right now." She offered.

" Lets just wait until there isn't 6 feet of snow on the ground." Josh pouted.

" Fine." He said only slightly defeated.

" But i'm holding you to that."

…

Josh and Maya didn't make it back to the Matthews front door until a quarter past four am. They snuck back into the house, whispered good nights to one another and snuck off to their beds. It felt like moments later that they were being shaken awake.

They took the train back to the city that afternoon and no one understood why the two of them couldn't stop yawning. No one dared to disturb them when they both fell asleep, Maya's head on Josh's shoulder.


	18. Chapter 18

Someday Soon Chapter 18

 _Sorry i haven't updated in a few days. Hope this makes up for it!_

The hour and a half train ride back into the city from Philadelphia was as soundly as Maya had slept in months. She was so exhausted from how late she and Josh had stayed out the night before that she had dosed right off on his shoulder without even thinking about it.

Maya had a lot of trouble sleeping now a days. She would lay in bed for hours at a time, just staring at the ceiling and listening to a book on her phone or a podcast to fill the silence. Maya slept maybe four hours a night on average, usually between the hours of two and six am. The trouble being that she never seemed to be able to turn her brain off. She would sit in bed as her brain would race, the wheels in her mind spinning out of control. Her therapist seems to think that Maya had developed insomnia and had suggested many sleep aids and remedies for the problem. None of the traditional methods had seemed to help Maya at all. Meditation and hot tea hadn't done the trick to cure her restless mind and jumpy limbs.

Yet those almost two hours on the train back from Philadelphia, Maya slept better than she could ever remember doing. Maybe it was the fact that she had something to do with the gentle rocking of the train, or the fact that she and Josh hadn't gone to bed until after four am that morning. No matter the cause, Josh's shoulder was suddenly the most comfortable pillow she had ever had.

….

The days between the groups return from Philadelphia and New years were bitterly cold. Temperatures in New York slipped to a record low and the wind howled at all hours of the day and night. No one was willing to venture out of their apartments unless absolutely necessary. The issue being that Hudson, Maya's dog, was still eager to go on long walks every single day. Although the dog only weighed about ten or twelve pounds he still had more energy than anyone Maya knew, dog or not. Hudson wasn't content to just go across the street to the green space and do his business. So everyday Maya would bundle up several layers of sweaters, scarves and gloves, hook Hudson up to his leash and head out into the cold.

Hudson himself had to wear a sweater that Maya had knit after learning to do so watching a youtube tutorial. The small dog was decked out in the tiny sweater to keep him from shaking quite so hard on their daily walks.

It was only about a fifteen minute walk from Maya's apartment in the village to Washington square park. The whole way Maya would keep her head tucked down the whole way, fighting against the bite of the wind. Hudson seemed nearly oblivious to the weather, waddling only down the street and towards the park without a care in the world. Maya would let hudson off leash in the dog run and stand in silence, jumping up and down in an attempt to keep herself warm. Maya had taken Hudson to the park the first day back to the city from Philadelphia. She had been fumbling with her phone through her thick gloves, trying to keep herself entertained while Hudson ran round and round. She had been snapchatting with Josh since they had gotten back, and she had sent him a photo of Hudson running up and down the dog park. Josh had snapped her back in surprise that she was outdoors in such harsh conditions. She'd resposned that Hudson wouldn't stop whining until he got a walk so they had headed down to washington square park.

Josh immediately snapped back that she should stop by his dorm before she freezed to death. NYU was right on the corner by the park so his place was near by. So after letting Hudson run around Maya would walk over to university place, slip hudson under her coat and have Josh buzz her into his dorm building.

They had been back in the city for three days, and every single afternoon Maya would walk Hudson down to the park and then cross over to NYU to visit Josh. She would defrost in his room for a while before heading back to her place in the village.

It was the thirtieth of december now and Maya had just finished walking Hudson in the park. She rapped her knuckles across Josh's door and waited for him to respond. The door flung open and Maya walked in without hesitation. She unzipped her jacket and let Hudson jump down onto the floor. She tossed her jacket and scarf onto Josh's desk chair and flopped down onto Josh's bed. Josh picked up one of the cups of tea he had brewed and handed it to her.

In the few days they had been hanging out they had already fallen into a routine. Maya took the cup from Josh and happily took a large gulp burning her tongue the same way she did every day. Her hands shook as she held her cup as they were still numb. She kicked off her boots and brought her feet up onto the bed so she could sit on them. She pulled the sleeves of her hudson sweater down around her hands as she clutched onto her mug of tea.

" Is this the only time you get wear out of this sweater?" Josh asked, sitting down on the bed beside her and gesturing to the Hudson University sweater he had given her that she was currently wearing.

Maya shrugged. She couldn't wear the sweater at home in front of Shawn, or when she went to hang out with Riley. No one could know about her preference for Hudson just yet. But the sweater was comfortable and Maya still wanted to wear it. So she wore it as one of her many layers when she went out to brave the cold.

" Well i can only wear it in this room specifically. I'm afraid if i got out into the hallway someone will mug me." She joked referencing the sports rivalry between New York and Hudson university. Josh laughed at her as she took another long swig from her tea.

" Do you have any idea when you'll hear from Hudson?" Josh asked watching her carefully.

" What are you talking about, he never shuts up." Maya joked, gesturing to the dog on the floor who was snorting a bit as he laid on his back on the floor. Josh rolled his eyes.

" You knew what i meant." he said, nuding her with his elbow. Maya shrugged again.

" Letters don't go out until february or march so i've still got a lot of waiting to do." Maya said wistfully.

"You're getting in." Josh said reassuringly. Maya shot him a doubtful look.

" Thats easy for you to say mr i got into an ivy league graduate school." Maya said nuding him right back.

" Just you wait. I'm going to be right about this. Just like i was right about the SATs." Josh pointed out as Maya avoided his eye and looked down at the tea in her hands.

" Which you still owe me for." Josh reminded jokingly. Maya rolled her eyes.

" Well i'm sorry that you're bad at picking stipulations for bets." Maya shot back.

" Well i'm working on it." Josh said. They kept stoney eye contact for a few moments before they both burst out in laughter.

…..

The next day was new year's eve one of the busiest nights of the year in New York City. Despite the cold, thousands of people were crowding into times square to see live performances and watch the ball drop at the stroke of midnight.

Maya and Riley were in Riley's room getting ready for the party that was going on later that night. RIley had been bouncing around the room for an hour trying on different outfits and throwing clothes across the room trying to decide what she should wear out that night. Maya was sitting cross legged on Riley's bed, Hudson in her lap, watching her best friend run around the room.

" I don't know why you're so excited about this" Maya asked amused as Riley pulled yet another outfit option out of her closet.

" I don't know why you're not." Riley exclaimed, jumping onto the bed next to Maya and pushing against her shoulders.

" It's just a party." Maya reminded her friend as Riley rolled her eyes.

" It's not just a party! It's new year's eve!" Riley exclaimed.

" Yeah it's new years, and your ranger is still in texas. Shouldn't you be all mopey and bumped out?" Maya asked. Riley hesitated, looking down at her hands.

" Unless.."

'Unless nothing" Riley said, cutting her off.

" Unless things aren't going well."

" Do you think wearing a sequined top is too cliche?" Riley asked, quickly changing the subject and avoiding Maya's eye. Maya knew that things between Lucas and Riley hadn't been perfect for the past few weeks. In fact things hadn't been perfect between the two of them since Riley had gone to stay with Lucas in Texas for a few weeks in the summer.

…

The new year's eve party Maya and Riley were attending was being held in a brownstone on the upper west. The stoop of the building was crowded with kids smoking, willing to brave the harsh cold. Maya and Riley headed inside. Farkle and Zay were already inside as they had arrived to the party nearly an hour earlier then the two girls. Maya and Riley headed inside, got drinks and began to chat with one of the many groups. The house was crowded with people and not just high school aged. The majority of the people in fact appeared to be in college.

That made somewhat sense to Maya. The girl whose party this was had several older sisters and it wouldn't have been surprising if they had all invited their friends to join in the NYE party.

Maya was chatting with Riley and some other friends when she noticed someone on the other side of the party.

"Boing?" she muttered, craning her neck to see him through the crowed.

"What?" Riley half shouted. Her words slurring a bit from how much she had had to drink already.

"Nothing Pumpkin." Maya said, patting her friend on the shoulder.

" I'll be right back." Maya finished, moving past Riley and towards the other side of the room where Josh was.

He spotted her coming and turned away from the conversation he was having.

" Are you following me?" Maya asked as she came to a stop in front of him. Josh gave her a pointed look.

" Excuse me, you're the one who keeps showing up at my dorm room, and just so happen to hang out at the place where i work." Josh pointed out jokingly. Maya shoved at him, but smiled.

They hung out for most of the rest of the night, talking and laughing to the point where Maya's stomach physically hurt. They were in the middle of a joke when people began to count down to the new year.

Everyone around them was chanting, counting down the seconds. Maya looked up, and noticed just how close Josh was standing to her. There was 10 seconds left. He was looking at her. 6 seconds left. His hand was on her hip. 4 seconds left. His face was leaning down to hers then…. Riley was there. She threw her arms around her best friends neck and shouted

"Happy new year" into Maya's ear. Around them couples and acquaintances kissed to ring in the new year. But for Josh and Maya the moment had passed.

Maya hugged Riley in return, before Riley dashed back out into the party.

" I'll be right back." Maya said to Josh, excusing herself, She disappeared down a nearby hallway in search of a bathroom without a line.

Suddenly she felt someone's hand wrap around her wrist. She whipped around to see Josh standing there. Before Maya could say anything or even think anything Josh had backed her up against the wall of the hallway. He leaned his face in so close to her own that their foreheads were touching.

"It's not midnight anymore." Maya said, her voice almost a whisper. Josh reached down, pulled out the gear on his watch and turned back the hands to reflect his prefered time.

"There." Josh said and then his lips were on her's and absolutely nothing else mattered. Maya felt as if the whole house around them had melted away and it was just the two of them in that dark hallway. Maya would have been willing to stay in that moment, in their fake midnight, for the rest of the night. One of his hands was on her hip and the other one was tangled in her hair.

Inevitably they broke apart, their lips no longer touching but their faces were still close enough together that Maya could feel every breath that Josh took. She looked up at him and he held her gaze for a moment.

They were still so close that Josh's lips nearly brushed against her's again when he spoke.

"Long game." he said and then he was gone. He had disappeared down the hallway and into the party but all Maya could do was lean against that hallway wall.


	19. Chapter 19

Someday Soon chapter 19

The cold hair hit Josh like a wall as he exited the brownstone and came out onto the street. He had walked right out of the hallway, through the party and out the door. He had had to get out of there. He couldn't stay there anymore. Not with what had just happened. Not with what he had just done.

He had had no idea that Maya would be at the same new year's eve party that he was attending. When they had talked about their plans that day Maya had mentioned a party she and Riley were going to hosted by one of the girls in their class. How was Josh supposed to know that Maya's classmate was sisters with the same girl who lived on Josh's floor.

Josh had been shocked to see her there but pleased all the same. They had hung out all night, talking almost exclusively to each other, as if the rest of the party wasn't even there. Then, before either Maya or Josh could realize it midnight was upon them. Josh knew that he probably shouldn't kiss her. Don't get him wrong. He wanted to kiss her. He really wanted to kiss her, but he didn't want to send the wrong message. Maya knew that he liked her. That much was obvious. But it still wasn't time for them to be together.

But still. It was midnight, on New Year's Eve. This was one instance where he could in theory kiss her without stipulations. No strings attached. People kiss as a way to ring in the new year. It was a tradition. People all across north america would be doing the exact same thing. This was his chance.

Or at least it was. Until Riley showed up. Josh had had to execute some effort in order to mask the disappointment on his face that had washed over him when his niece had come bounding up to them and wrapped her arms around Maya half a second before the clock had struck midnight. A few seconds later Riley had flounced off, but the moment had passed. Maya excused herself and disappeared into the party and towards the hallway.

It should have ended there.

But Josh went after her. Could he count what had happened between them as a midnight new year's kiss when he had had to physically turn back time to make it possible? He didn't regret kissing her. In fact, in a perfect world it wouldn't have just been one kiss. If it were really up to him he would have stayed there all night, just to kiss her.

But he'd had to go. It was easier this way. It was what was to come that was the real question.

….

Maya had leaned against the hallway wall in sheer shock. It was as if she wasn't absorbing what had just happened. Josh had kissed her. Josh. Josh, as in her best friends hot uncle. Josh as in boing. Josh as in the Josh she had had an undying crush on for years. That Josh, had just kissed her. That Josh, had also just walked away. So what now? Maya knew it was a new year's kiss. It didn't really mean anything did it? It hadn't felt like nothing, that was for sure. But Maya also knew she couldn't string all her hopes up on that single kiss. In the past Josh had made it abundantly clear that he didn't want to start anything with Maya until she had at least graduated high school. Well now that was only six months away. But now that she knew what it was like to kiss Josh, could she wait half a year to do it again? She'd have to find out. After all It wasn't as if she had much of a choice.

Maya didn't know how long she stood there in the hallway, shell shocked, before Riley came bounding back up to her.

" Hello?" Riley said, waving her hand infront of her friends face in an exaggerated manner.

" Earth to Maya" Riley continued, snapping her fingers to get Maya's attention.

"What?" Maya said blinking and then meeting Riley's eye.

" Why are you just standing here!" Riley exclaimed, taking Maya by the hand and leading her down the hallway.

" If you haven't noticed, there's a party going on." Riley half shouted, as they walked back out into the throngs of people. Suddenly the reality of Maya's situation hit her, and she was on top of the world. Josh had kissed her. Josh! She felt as if she could float through the crowd on a cloud made of completed dreams and life long happiness.

Riley pulled Maya into the middle of a group of dancing people, and not caring what other people thought, Maya took her best friends hands and danced.

…

As amazing as Maya had felt at the party the night before, she couldn't have felt worse waking up the next morning. She didn't have a hangover, like Riley who was laying in bed beside her groaning about her splitting headache. Rather Maya felt a rawness in her throat and heavy built up congestion in her sinuses. It seemed she was destined to ring in the new year with a cold.

While Riley returned to her apartment with her tail between her legs to nurse her hangover in privacy, Maya stayed curled up in her bed surrounded by tissues and cough candy wrappers. Shawn had flounced into her rooms around 11 am. He had assumed that she was moping around due to overconsumption of alcohol, and was fully ready to be as annoying as possible as a punishment. He quickly backtracked when he saw that his step daughter wasn't hung over but rather caught in the downward spiral of a flu virus.

Shawn went into a full overly attentive fatherly mode, checking in on her what seemed like every few minutes, bringing her cups of tea, bowls of soup, and every other remedy Shawn could find online.

The following day Maya was still sick. However renovations were beginning on the apartment she and Shawn shared. Shawn, who had to go into the office that day, knew that Maya wouldn't get any sleep with the workers in the apartment.

So that morning Shawn had prodded Maya awake, gathered up a bunch of her things and lead her out into the hallway. Maya had shuffled down the hallway in her slippers, her duvet cover wrapped around her shoulders as Shawn lead her one floor down. They came to a stop in front of the Matthews front door, and Shawn let them in.

He lead Maya over to the couch and helped her to get comfortable.

"Now i've got to go to work. But Cory's going to be here all day, and he'll take really good care of you. Okay?" Shawn asked in a soft drawn out voice, similar to a voice one would use when addressing an upset toddler.

Maya nodded slightly, barely able to keep her eyes open from exhaustion. She dozed on the couch for a few hours, in a haze from the cold medication she had taken. Cory would pop by the couch every once and awhile to check on her. School still wasn't back in session so Cory wasn't at work. Topanga however had headed into the office that day. Riley, who was a bit of a germaphobe, had taken Auggie out for the day in order to avoid Maya and her germs.

So it was just Maya and Cory in the apartment that day. That was until a knock sounded at the front door.

" Ahh" Cory said as if he had been expecting someone.

Maya looked up from the couch as Cory crossed the apartment and pulled open the front door to reveal a shivering Josh. He was all bundled up but still every clearly chilled. His skin was pale but his nose was bright red. It seemed that he too had a cold.

" Just in time baby brother." Cory said leading Josh into the apartment and guiding him to towards the couch. Cory had heard that Josh had caught a cold and was held up in his dorm room. Not wanting his little brother to suffer in silence alone, he had invited Josh over so he could help to take care of him.

" I just finished brewing a pot of soup for you two sickos." Cory exclaimed heading back over to the kitchen sink and scrubbing his hands clean.

Josh and Maya were seated on opposite sides of the couch from one another. They ate spoonfuls the soup cory served them in silence, besides the sound of them sniffing from their stuffy nose or the occasional cough.

A few minutes later Cory's phone rang. He had a hushed conversation and then hung up.

"Alright Kiddos. Mini work emergency, so i've got to pop over to the school for a bit. You two stay here. Try not to die in my absence." Cory joked, grabbing his coat from the hook by the door and bidding them farewell before heading out the door. Leaving Josh and Maya alone.


	20. Chapter 20

Someday Soon Chapter 20

Hudson, who had been sleeping peacefully on Maya's lap, woke up to the sound of the door latching closed behind Cory. Hudson opened his eyes and perked up at the sight of Josh. Hudson clambered off of Maya's lap and went bounding across the couch towards where Josh sat on the other end.

" Traitor." Maya muttered, throwing Hudson the side eye. Hudson, who was now happily having his ears scratched by Josh paid no attention to the glare he was getting from Maya.

Maya brought another spoonful of soup to her mouth. She winced a bit as she swallowed it.

" Ugh i know he means well but you're brother does not know how to make soup." Maya said, her voice rough and groggy,putting the bowel on the coffee table in front of her hand pushing it away. Josh laughed a little, but the sound quickly turned into a cough.

" Why do you think i only took a few bites of mine? I was just trying to be nice." Josh said, gesturing to his still full bowl of soup next to hers on the table in front of them that Hudson was now eyeing hungrily.

"I'm not saying that i could do better, but come on. It's soup. Broth, vegetables, chicken, its seems pretty idiot proof." Maya said pulling her blanket more tightly around her as she shivered from the chill in the air.

"Just be thankful that he left and we don't have to choke the rest of it down" Josh said, reaching for a tissue to wipe his nose.

"Well what do we do with it all? Pour it down the sink?" Maya suggested, trying to stifle a cough.

"Your dog looks interested." Josh joked, as Hudson continued to sniff at the bowls on the table. Maya reached over to scoop up her dog and move him away from the food on the table.

" I don't think so. My boys on a strict kibble diet. Isn't that right?" Maya said, speaking to Hudson now and holding him close to her chest.

Maya was pleasantly surprised at the easy and joking conversation that was going on between her and Josh at that very moment. It had been a shock to Maya when Josh had walked into the Matthews apartment, especially considering what had happened between them two nights prior.

Josh hadn't really looked at her when he had first arrived. He had sat down on the opposite side of the couch from her and hadn't said a thing. It was normal, she supposed, for them to act a little awkward around each other after what had happened. Maya hadn't known what to say to Josh at first either. They had kissed after all. Even if it was at Midnight on new year's eve. It had still happened. Things were bound to be a little weird after that, if only for a little while.

They didn't need to talk about it. They were already both on the same page. Despite the earth shattering kiss, nothing between them had changed. Josh muttering "long game" against her lips

had been enough to make it clear to Maya that someday was not that New Year's Eve. Josh was still Josh and Maya was still herself. Maya was still in high school. It wasn't until her graduation rolled around in June that she and Josh had any real shot at a someday.

But that kiss wasn't just a kiss. Not really. It was a sort of promise in it self. That it may be the first kiss but it most certainly would not be the last.

For now, Maya was just glad they could still talk and joke around with one another.

Maya heard Josh's stomach grumble around the same time that her own did. They exchanged a look with one another. Corys subpar soup clearly hadn't filled either one of them up.

" You know i think Topanga keeps an emergency box of instant lipton soup in the kitchen somewhere." Maya said doing her best with the little energy she had to conjure up a mischievous grin. Josh gave her a knowing look and the two of them slowly rose from the couch and shuffled their way towards the kitchen.

The pair pulled on rubber gloves they found under the sink, hoping to avoid spreading any more germs than was necessary. They shuffled round the kitchen slowly due to their shared illness, but eventually found the soup packets and boiled the necessary water. They made their soup, cleaned up the evidence and moved back to the couch to eat their lunch.

The real issue being the struggle between the two over the remote. Both were equally as stubborn and opinionated when it came to television and neither wanted to take no for an answer.

Maya, who was used to walking into the Matthew's apartment and turning the tv to whatever channel she prefered, was not about to take Josh trying to commandeer the remote laying down.

"I'm not watching this." Josh stated between chattering teeth as Maya flicked the tv to a channel showing a high intensity baking competition. Maya pulled her blankets up around her more and let Hudson settle into her lap.

" That's what you think." Maya muttered, tucking the tv remote into her house coat pocket and leaning backward into the cushy pillows of the Matthews couch. Josh rolled his eyes and shook his head at her but quickly stopped as that made the room spin in his sickly state.

After nearly an hour of Josh's nagging and complaining about the competitive cup cake making competition, Maya finally switched the channel to something that they could both somewhat enjoy. They ended up watching several episodes of an old sitcom on re run before anyone arrived back to the apartment. The two were still wrapped up in their blankets on the couch surrounded by boxes of tissues and empty cough candy wrappers when Cory unlocked the door and re entered the apartment, followed by Topanga, Shawn, Riley and Auggie all at one.

"There they are." Cory exclaimed, hanging up his jackets and crossing the apartment.

"Right where i left them."

Riley was hanging back by the door, hesitant to move any further into the apartment out of fear of germs.

" Uncle Josh." Riley said her voice shaking slightly.

"You're here, and you're sick too. Yay." Riley said, edging found the room with her back against the wall to keep as much distance between them as possible.

Shawn walked to the back of the couch and pressed the back of his hand against Maya's forehead to check her fever.

" How you feeling kid?" Shawn asked her as he appraised her with concern.

" Wash that hand!" Riley yelped seeing that Shawn had touched one of the infected patients. Shawn shook his head at Riley and turned his attention back to those on the couch.

" Little Matthews is sick too huh?" Shawn said looking between Josh and Maya. A lump grew in Josh's throat on top of the soreness that was already present. There was something about having Shawn's scrutiny on him that had him in a sweat, and not from his fever. Shawn had no way of knowing that there was a very specific reason that he and Maya had the same cold. Shawn didn't know that the reason Maya had the flu that was spreading through the NYU dorms was because Josh's tongue had been in her mouth two nights previously. Still. Being under Shawn's microscope made him squirm.

Cory walked back over the couch and rubbed his hands together looking at Maya and Josh.

" Your bowls are empty. Do you guys want more soup?" Cory asked.

"No!" Josh and Maya said in the same instant. They exchanged a look, and had to bite the inside of their lips to stop from laughing.


	21. Chapter 21

Someday Soon Chapter 21

 _This chapter is uber joshaya heavy (still present. duh) but i'm trying to build up to some things so this type of chapter is necessary._

It was the last night of the winter break and Maya had more or less recovered from her cold. Her cough was still lingering a bit but her fever had broken and she no longer felt like a steam roller was backing up continuously over her body every hour of the day.

It was just past 10pm and Maya was huddled up in her bed reading by the light of the lamp on her bedside table. She knew she should be at least trying to be get to sleep, after all she had to get up early for school the next day. Still, she flipped the next page of her book in her bed and continued to read. Maya still wasn't sleeping particularly well, although she shut herself into her room every night around 9pm and shut off all the main lights to make Shawn think she was getting plenty of sleep. Maya would usually read late into the night and finally drift off in the early morning. It wasn't an ideal sleep schedule but at least she got a lot of books read that way.

Maya was just finishing a chapter when she heard a persistent tapping on her window. Maya glanced up and then sprung out of bed when she say who was waiting on the fire escape. Maya hurried over to her window, unlatched the lock and slide up the glass wincing at the blast of cold air flooded in from the frigid january night.

"Riles?" Maya said in surprise as her best friend climbed through the window and then turned to close it behind her.

" What are you-" but Maya stopped speaking before she could finish her question when she caught site of the look on Riley's face and the tears that had been flash frozen on her cheeks from the wind outside.

"What's wrong?" Maya asked her chest heavy with concern as she lead Riley over to her bed. The two sat down as Riley finally spoke, her voice thick from crying although no more tears had come.

" I think it's over." Riley said, looking down at her clasped hands in her lap rather than at Maya.

"Whats over?" Maya asked confused, clearly not following what Riley was saying.

" Lucas." Riley said still not meeting Maya's eye.

" Lucas and I are over." Maya's jaw went slack in shock as her eyes widened from what her best friend just said.

"Shit. Are you serious?" Maya asked almost not believing what Riley had said.

" As a heart attack." Riley said letting out a sob like laugh.

" What happened?" Maya asked gently, not wanting to pry although her curiosity was killing her. Riley let out a long sigh before speaking.

" He got back to the city today, and we hadn't been in the same room for more than 15 minutes when we started fighting. I could just tell that there was something he wasn't telling me…."

"Riles?" Maya prompted, waiting for her to go on.

" He cheated." Riley said simply with a shrug. Maya's heart dropped into her stomach.

" He what?" Maya demanded,anger building up in her.

" I mean it was just a kiss." Riley said as if she was defending him.

" and it was on new years so if i really think about it…" Maya cut Riley off.

" Don't do that. Don't try and justify what he did." Maya said, furious that Lucas could do such a thing to Riley.

" Just because a kiss happened on new years doesn't mean that it doesn't count." Maya stated. As Maya said these words out loud it had occurred to her that she had explained away her kiss with Josh by referring to it as just a new year's eve kiss. Maya shook her head. What happened with her and Josh was different.

" Did you really break up?" Maya asked squeezing Riley's hand in her own. Riley shook her hand.

" No. Or at least not yet. I just don't know how i can come back from this." Riley said, letting her shoulders go slack.

"We'll figure it out." Maya promised, wrapping Riley in a hug, and silently vowing to kick Lucas ass at the first possible opportunity

…...

At 6 am the next morning, Maya and Riley were cuddled up and fast asleep under the covers of Maya's cracked open Maya's bedroom door and peaking in. Maya and Riley both woke up from the sudden light flooding into the room and blinked to clear their eyes.

"Yeah she's here." Shawn said into the phone he had pressed to his cheek.

" Your dad says hi." Shawn said to Riley as he turned to leave the room, closing the door behind him.

Maya and Riley grumbled as they rolled out of bed and began to get ready for school. They had stayed up late into the night talking about everything that had gone on with her and Lucas.

Maya lent Riley something to wear to school that day so Riley didn't have to climb back down the fire escape to her room, or walk through the hallways of their apartment building in just her pajamas.

They sat beside one another on the subway on the way to school, chatting lightly but avoiding the subjects that they had broached the night before. Maya knew that Riley was nervous about seeing Lucus at school that day and was trying to keep her mind off of it.

As they sat on the train together Maya felt her phone buzz in her jacket pocket. She took it out and slide her finger across the screen to unlock it. She had a message from Josh that she typed a response too. During the few days they had spent sick on the couch together they had started to watch a crime drama on netflix and were both hooked. They had been trying to keep watching at the same pace separately and had been texting back and forth about the developments of the plot.

Another message from Josh popped up on the screen seconds after the one Maya had sent and she moved quickly to respond. When she glanced up she saw that Riley was watching her carefully.

"What?" Maya asked, slipping her phone back into her jacket pocket and zipping it. Riley raised her eyebrows at Maya but didn't say anything.

"What?" Maya asked again looking at her best friend with amusement.

"Nothing." Riley said with a knowing gleam in her eye.

" You're just in an awful lot of contact with Josh lately." Riley said, nudging Maya in the ribs with her elbow. Maya narrowed her eyes at Riley who smirked at her.

" Oh come on peaches i'm not an idiot. We shared a pull out couch at my grandparents house. I know you weren't in bed half the night, and Josh looked awfully tired most mornings. Plus you hung around him basically the whole night at that new years party" Riley pointed out. Maya rolled her eyes. If only Riley knew what else happened with Josh at that party.

" Your point?" Maya prompted. Riley turned to her almost accusingly.

" I don't think your crush ever died. In fact i think it might be worse than ever. You're fantasizing about the fantasy again. " Maya had to fight back a snort of laughter.

" Josh and I are friends. Were good friends but just friends. Nothing has happened between us. At least not really." Maya conceded.

"What?" Riley asked agast.

"What does that mean? Not really?" Riley demanded just as the train came to a halt at their stop.

"Time to get off." Maya said getting to her feet and not answering the question, heading for the doors.

" Don't avoid the question!" Riley said hurrying to catch up with Maya who was power walking out up the stairs and out of the subway station, trying to keep the smirk off her face.

"Don't worry your pretty head about it." Maya said as they waited for the light to turn so they could cross the street. Riley was about to push Maya for more information when they caught sight of Lucus across the street walking towards the school.

Riley stiffened beside Maya, who reached out to take her hand.

" It's going to be okay." Maya said reassuringly.

"We'll work it out." Maya promised. Riley nodded her head. The two kept their hands linked as they crossed the street.


	22. Chapter 22

Someday Soon Chapter 22

The rest of January was full of emotional ups and downs for Riley, all of which pushed off on Maya. Riley and Lucas hadn't ended up breaking up, at least not officially. It was on a day to day basis if they were speaking to one another or not.

The whole ordeal of the supposed cheating that took place on new year's eve was constantly up for discussion. Lucas had first insisted that it was just a kiss, and on new year's eve, which barely counted. However more information had come out that it had been more than just one kiss, that it had taken place both before and after the clock rang in the new year . To top it off the news broke that the kiss was with a girl lucas had once sort of dated when he had lived in Texas.

Of course there was arguments to be had to dispute all of that. Lucas argued that he had been drinking, that she was just an old friend, and that he had been caught up in the moment.

Riley had been teetering back and forth between wanting to forgive Lucas, and wanting to tear his head clean off his body. Maya was firmly on the side of dismemberment, but tried to support Riley without forcing all her own opinions on her.

Still Maya was just as furious as ever, and no one heard more about it from her then Josh. Maya wasn't going to vent to Riley, her friend needed support, not more stress, so Josh often got an earful.

Maya would plop herself down at the counter of Topanga's, shovel down the cheesecake Josh would place down in front of her and go off on her frustrations about Lucas and Riley.

" and it's not like i can just tell her to dump him! I mean i could, but then if that's not what she really wants it would create like a weird resentment thing, and i do not need that in my life." Maya said stabbing at the cake on the plate in front of her as a way to let out her anger. Josh would shake his head at her , but gladly let her say her piece, even if she was basically saying the same thing day after day.

…

Eventually the drama subsided slightly. Riley and Lucas were still having major problems but Riley was climbing into Maya's bedroom window in tears far less often. However distressing all of the Riley and Lucas drama was, Maya was grateful for the distraction. College acceptance/ rejection dates looked a lot closer from this side of Christmas, and Maya could spend all day worrying about them if she let herself. She had applied to six schools in total. Fordham, Hudson, The NS, Boston, UNC Chapel Hill, and a community college in Brooklyn where you basically had to be breathing to be accepted. She had applied to RISD, but had pulled out of the process. She loved art but the school of design just wasn't the right choice for her.

Her top choice was still Hudson of course, followed by Fordham and BU. Her best shot was the New school, and Maya knew she could be happy there. She held onto that idea. But what if the new school rejected her? What if everyone did? She would toil away at a third string community college and probably drop out from embarrassment.

She'd probably end up like her mother, slaving away at a hole in the wall diner for her whole life with her dreams out of reach.

Maya had never looked down at her mother for her profession. Katy had worked hard and provided for Maya her whole life. But Maya also knew that Katy wanted more for Maya then what she herself had had. Katy wanted Maya to go farther and shine brighter than Katie ever had. Katie would have be proud of Maya no matter what she chose to do with her life. But Maya still had a nagging feeling.

Maya didn't want to let her mother down. No one in Maya's family had ever gotten much farther in their education then a high school diploma. Maya's step grandfather had a BMA from Duke but she didn't think that really counted. Maya's actually grandfather had walked out on his family the same way Maya's father had when she was a little girl. Her grandmother had raised Katy on her own until she'd met her new husband Paul, long after Katy had grown up and moved out. No one with her blood had made it that far in life. Would she be the first one? Or would she fizzle out like all the others?

Maya stayed up late into the night worrying about it. Her stomach would tie into knots and churn around and around as she mulled over all the possibilities of her future.

Shawn tried to be a comfort, reassuring her that he had been way more of screw up in high school and had still managed to scrape out a degree.

Josh reacted in a similar way, constantly reassuring her that she wasn't just going to get into one of her schools, but multiple, especially Hudson.

Once when Maya had been walking her dog in Washington Square Park, Josh had come sauntering up beside her and steered her away from the direction of the dog park where she had been heading. He lead her up towards Midtown. They kept talking while they walked, Maya had not thought much of his interruption. She had thought that he had probably just needed a break from studying. That was until they turned onto the block of Hudson University main campus. Maya stopped in her tracks.

" What are we doing?" She asked looking at Josh hesitatingly.

" I thought you might want to see the place you'll be spending the next four years." He said slipping his arm into the bend of hers and pulling her forward.

" Oh no no." Maya said, trying to pull against his hold.

" I can't go in there, they'll be able to smell the desperation on me."

" Come on." Josh said still pulling her forward. Maya dragged at the heels.

" I'm serious i can't go in there. Everyone will point and say ' aw look at the sad little girl just waiting for her rejection letter." Josh rolled his eyes at her.

" We're going to the coffee cart. Not the dean's office. You'll fit right in."

Josh seemed to have doubt in his mind that Maya would be getting into Hudson. While this was sweet, it didn't much reassure Maya. It was easy for Josh to insist that Maya was going to get into Hudson. He never struggled with school. He got into NYU and now he was going to Columbia for christ sakes. He was clearly a very smart guy.

That got Maya thinking. How exactly could she had beaten Josh on the SATs? That didn't seem plausible to Maya. After a quick internet search Maya saw that you generally needed upwards of a 1900 on the SATs to get into NYU. Josh had told her that he had scored a 1700.

Later that day Maya let herself into the Matthews apartment to where Cory and Topanga were sitting at the table.

" Do either of you know how Josh did on the SATs?" Maya asked as a way of greeting. Topanga threw a slightly panicked look at her husband before looking down at her hands.

"Good i think." Cory said simply., while Topanga continued to look away. Maya narrowed her eyes at her best friends mother, walking up and leaning forward across the dining room table to look her straight in the eye.

" You know something." Maya said, as Topanga pursed her lips. Topanga knew about Josh and Maya's SAT bet, but she didn't know if she could hold out against Maya's seething look. She was sure to crack.

….

Maya stormed down stairs and into the bakery. She pushed open the door and made a b line straight to the counter. Josh was busy drying glasses behind the counter and did not see her come in. She put a knee up on one of the stool to give her a boost, breached over the counter and sharply cuffed him on the back off the head.

"Hey!" Josh said in surprise, rubbing the back of his head

"1700 my ass!" Maya spat at him, sitting down at the counter with a huff.

"What are you talking about?" Josh asked in confusion.

" Topanga just told me you got a 2200 on the SAT not a 1700. Which means you are a big fat liar and that i did indeed win the bet." Maya shot back at him. Josh rolled his eyes at her.

" A; Topanga is a traitor, and B: I did not lie. I did get a 1700. The first time i took the test. The circumstances under which i took the test are neither here nor there but you did get a higher score than me. Which means that i did win the bet. Yes, on a technicality but a win's a win, and i will collect." Josh said giving her a mischievous smirk. Maya glared at him.

"We'll see about that."


	23. Chapter 23

Someday Soon Chapter 23

January melted away into February quickly and without much notice. The days were getting slightly longer, the sun sticking around in the sky. Despite the new amount of light the sky was still constantly shrouded in thick grey clouds. The air was still bitterly cold, and the sky alternated between pouring down snow or freezing rain. This mixture of weather lead to the streets being flooded with thick slush that soaked through the socks of anyone who wasn't wearing the right protective footwear.

Maya was stalking around the city in thick rubber gum boots that by some miracle of faith had come back into style. The boots squeaked against any dry surface floor and left a trail of wet foot prints behind her.

Maya didn't have much to do after school as of lately. Riley was constantly busy either with volunteer work in the hopes of further padding her resume, or desperately trying to save her relationship with Lucas by spending as much time with him as humanly possible.

On the days that Josh worked afternoons at Topanga's the tell tale signs of Maya's arrival was the ring of a bell when the door opened, followed by the squeak of Maya's boots on the tile floor. Maya would take her place at the counter and she and Josh would settle into their afternoon routine. Maya worked, or at least pretended to work, on her homework while Josh finished up with the afternoon rush. Once the shop quieted down a bit Maya would stow away her books and either talk with Josh while he cleaned up around the counter, serve the few customers left, or if he had an upcoming test quiz,him with the carefully made flash cards he kept with him at all times. Josh only had two months left in his final university semester as his time as an undergrad. While freedom was coming closer Josh had a lot of work to do before graduation. He'd have the whole summer to relax before he started at Columbia in September , right now he needed to focus.

However, it wasn't that easy to focus with Maya around. Thoughts of her crept into his head when he was alone, so having her there in front of him was downright distracting. The one thing that kept his grades from suffering was Maya's reactions every time he aced a question. The smile she would give him was enough to send his heart soaring.

Josh's feeling for Maya were growing by the day, and each day it became harder and harder to ignore them.

They were spending so much time together that Josh could barely come up for air. When Josh wasn't at school he was either at the Cafe, or out with Maya.

She'd visit him while he was at work, and he'd often join her on walks around the city with Hudson. They'd see each other at dinners at the Matthew's apartment, and more than once Maya had dropped by his dorm room, either to help him study or ask for help with a certain assignment that she was having trouble with.

While Maya excelled in arts and humanities she struggled slightly with sciences. She was taking biology as her science credit that year and occasionally required guidance when maneuvering the different units. Maya could have gone to Riley or even Farkle for help, but studying with Josh was just easier. He knew how she best learned, and he knew how to make the information click clearly in her head.

Shawn was so busy working lately that Maya wasn't spending much time at home. Shawn normally didn't get home until around 7 o'clock most nights and Maya rarely got through the front door before 6:30. Maya didn't like be be home alone. Most days she'd go straight home from school, pick up Hudson and go hunting for someone to hang out with until she could head back home.

Hanging out with Josh was a happy alternative. She liked being around him. It was easy. Josh had seen her when she was the most vulnerable, but he didn't handle her with child gloves. He had seen her broken into pieces, but didn't act like she was still shattered on the floor. He saw the cracks in her exterior, but didn't poke and prod at them. He made her laugh, and although she was still pissed that he had lied to her about the SAT's, he did his best to build up her confidence like no one else could.

As the release dates for college acceptances grew closer Maya got more and more antsy. She had gotten word back from one school, Fordham, as they had a rolling acceptance policy. She hadn't shared that information with anyone yet. She wanted to know all her options before she told anyone anything about her plans for next year.

It was enough pressure that Josh knew about her preference for Hudson. There would be no hiding her heartbreak from him if she wasn't accepted into the school. She'd put on a good show about her excitement about whatever school actually let her in, convincing Shawn and everyone else that that was what she had always wanted. But no matter what would happen, Josh would always know the truth

Still, it was nice having someone to confide in. She would have told Riley, but she was sure that her best friend would have spilled the information to everyone. Riley would be so excited that Maya wanted to stay in New York that she would probably sing it from the rough tops.

Still, with the beginning of March growing closer and letters being sent out any time now, Maya would have to bite the bullet soon.

…

The first week of March arrived, and Maya felt as if she could scratch her skin right off its surface from the anxiety she felt. Riley and Farkle were both feeling the same way if not doubled. Both were waiting with crossed fingers for acceptance letters from the prestigious ivy leagues. RIley was aiming for Cornell or maybe Upenn, while Farkle and his father had their heart set on Princeton. Riley and Farkles letters wouldn't be arriving until the end of March. Maya didn't envy the extra time they had to spend waiting.

….

It was the first friday in March, and Shawn and Maya were joining the Matthews for dinner. Maya was the last to arrive. She had stopped in the lobby on the way up to dinner to check the mailbox. Her heart had dropped when her hand had brushed across the cream coloured envelope with the Hudson university emblazoned on the seal.

She clutched the letter from Hudson and the other pieces of mail to her chest. She let herself into the Matthews apartment, her eyes blank and her heart thumping as she walked into the Matthews living room.

She heard several words of greeting spoken to her but she didn't process any of it. She held her future in new york in her hands, but she didn't know if she could open it.

She came to a stop by the side of the couch and continued to stare into the room, clutching the mail to her chest.

Josh, who had been sitting at the kitchen table with Auggie looked up to see Maya standing stunned with the mail in her arms.

" Is it here?" Josh asked, referring to the long awaited Hudson letter. Maya nodded, as Josh got to his feet.

" and?" He promoted, walking slowly from the kitchen area towards the main living room.

" I don't think i can open it." Maya said, clutching the letter closer to her.

"Open what?" Shawn asked confused, looking between Josh and Maya.

" Of course you can." Josh said walking over to her.

" What if i didn't get in?" Maya said quietly.

" Get in where?" Shawn asked, his interests peaked and panic flooding into his voice. This could be the moment when he found out what his step daughters real plans for the future were. What would he do if Maya decided to leave the city?

" Just open it." Josh prompted his own anxiety growing. Everyone in the room was now paying attention, curious themselves to see what school had sent the piece of mail.

Maya looked down at the letter, her hands shaking a little. For several long seconds everyone stood in silence.

" Oh for god sakes." Josh said, his frustration growing. He snatched the letter out of Maya's hands and starting to walk away towards the kitchen.

" What are you doing?" Maya asked in a panic, snapping into action and following Josh who was speed walking away from her.

" If you're not going to look, i will." Josh said over his shoulder, his fingers on the lip of the envelope as if to tear it open.

" Don't you dare!" Maya half shouted. Josh moved to tear the envelope open and Maya sprung. She jumped onto Josh's back and attempted to wrestle the paper out of his hands.

" Give it to me!" Maya snarled, doing her best to snatch at the paper from Josh, who was doing his best to dislodge her from his back.

" Only if you open it!" He shot back as he tried to shake her off.

" I can't!" Maya snapped back. As everyone in the room followed the two with their eyes, moving out of the way to avoid getting hit by the two of them while they wrestled over the paper around the room.

"Then i will!" Josh said, still trying to get the envelope open and avoid being scratched by Maya's claws.

" WHERE IS THE LETTER FROM!" Shawn half shouted, looking like he was about to jump in between Maya and Josh and tear open the envelope himself, if only to see the name printed at the top of the page.

Despite Maya's weight on his back Josh managed to get a hold on the lip of the letter.

"Don't do it!" Maya warned a threatening tone in her voice .

" You opened my NYU letter." Josh shot back.

" You opened my SATs" Maya countered.

" Not the same!" Josh said, not missing a beat and cleanly tearing open the letter.

Maya's grip went slack and she let her head fall against Josh's shoulder to hide her eyes.

" I can't look." Maya whispered, burying her face into Josh's shirt.

"I think you might want to." Josh said, scanning the letter and nudging up his shoulder blade to get her to raise her head. Maya peeked up and felt her heart drop as she read the first few words on the page

 _Dear Miss Hart,We are pleased to offer you acceptance to_

" I got in?" Maya said quietly, sliding down from Josh's back.

" You got in!" Josh said a brilliant smile spreading across his face.

" I got in!" Maya shouted, jumping into josh's arms and letting him lift her off her feet in a tight hug, laughter escaping her chest.

" TO WHAT SCHOOL?" Shawn, Riley, and Topanga shouted in near unison, but Maya couldn't stop laughing and smiling in relief enough to form an answer.


	24. Chapter 24

Someday Soon Chapter 24

Shawn, unable to contain himself any longer, lept across the room in two short bounds and snatched the letter out of Maya's hands. He held it up close to his face so he could read the words printed there clearly. Shawns eyes scanned across the paper trying to maintain his composure.

" You got into Hudson?" Shawn asked hesitantly. Maya nodded, her smile so wide that her face was starting to ache.

" And you're excited about it?" He enquired, trying not to get his hopes up too high. Maya nodded again.

"Excited like you want to go there?" Shawn had to actively try to not cross his fingers for good luck.

" I'm going to Hudson!" Maya said, barely able to get the words out. She could barely believe it herself. Shawn let out an exhale of breath that he felt like he had been holding ever since Maya had started to think about college.

He reached out and pulled her into a bone crushing hug.

" Oh thank god. I really wasn't looking forward to driving to Boston every weekend." Shawn said still holding her tightly to his chest.

"Wait." Shawn said, releasing maya from his hold but putting his hands on her shoulders and holding her at arm's length.

" The dogs not named after the river is he?" Shawn asked skeptically.

" No." Maya said, shaking her head at him as if it had been obvious.

"Of course. I'm just an idiot." Shawn said simply as he pulled her into another hug.

…

Maya pushed open the cafe door on sunday, the chime of the bell ringing out. Sunday morning was a popular time at Topangas and nearly every seat at each table was already taken. Maya walked confidently through the room, although she had to brush by and push past a few people in order to get up to the counter. Mercifully there was an empty stool at the counter, although Maya wouldn't have been above dumping someone out of her prefered seat.

Josh was only working for a few hours that morning and then the two were supposed to be catching a 2pm matinee. A film adaptation of a book Josh had recommended to Maya months ago was coming out and they were the only two people in both of their friend groups who had even a semblance of wanting to see the movie.

Josh had suggested they see it in the afternoon that sunday. While he had said that the matinee would be a better idea since it would be cheaper and the theatre would be less crowded, he'd had ulterior motives. If he was going to sit in a dark theatre with Maya for two hours, sharing an armrest and possibly popcorn, then he needed to walk out into daylight. He couldn't let his mind wander to the places that it would want to when he was alone with Maya in the dark. June was in sight. 3 months until the deadline Josh had set out for himself. He had had a moment of weakness on new year's eve. He had rationalized kissing her to himself but i couldn't happen again. Not until Maya was out of high school. But that didn't mean that they couldn't go see a movie together. But it did mean that it was a hell of a lot safer for them to see a matinee in broad daylight. So that's what they would do.

Maya was sitting at the end of the counter, scrolling through her phone and waiting until Josh finished up with the customers. There was still about an hour until Josh's shift would end, but Maya hadn't felt like hanging around her apartment any longer so she'd headed down to the shop early.

Josh made his way down to Maya's end of the counter, placed a white mug in front of her and poured a stream of coffee into her cup.

"What's wrong with you?" Josh asked with a skeptical smile. Maya glanced up at him confused.

" It's still the morning. You're not scowling. You don't look like you want to murder anyone. Something must be up." Maya rolled her eyes at him. She wasn't exactly a morning person and such a fact was well known.

" I'm sorry, i am still on my Hudson high" Maya said as a way of explanation picking up her coffee and taking a swig.

"So despite the early hour i am being uncharacteristically pleasant." Maya stated, leaning back on the stool.

" Well i won't complain." Josh commented tidying behind the counter.

" I've just been basking in the glow of Shawn's overwhelming joy and happiness about me staying in New York. It's like now i can do no wrong. It has been two days since i told him and he's already gotten me this jacket and" Maya hoisted her leg onto the counter to show off her new shoes.

"These boots plus-" Maya continued while Josh reached over and pushed her foot off the counter

" he's ordered like six books off my amazon wish list, he's giving me his phone upgrade AND since spring break starts next week he wants to go to Jamaica. Jamaica." Maya said for a second time for effect.

" So he's pretty glad you're staying in town then." Josh said jokingly throwing a smirk her way. Maya smirked back at him.

" Well i can't say i blame him" Maya said confidently, flipping her hair over her shoulder dramatically. .

" I can't either." Josh shot back, continuing to wipe up around the counter and not looking up to meet Maya's eye.

…

Maya spent spring break in Jamaica with Shawn. Rather than just hanging out on the beach all day, which they still did a lot of, they traveled around the island. Shawn was writing a travel piece so they did a lot of activities to beef up his article. Maya enjoyed the vacation with her step father but there was a familiar sadness that was creeping up on her. At this time the previous year Maya had been on vacation with both of her parents. Katy had been acting strangely but they didn't know that she was sick. The world had still seemed to be filled with possibilities for the three of them. They were approaching the anniversary of Katys diagnosis,and soon after that, her death.

It was hard to believe that it had almost been a year since Maya had lost her mother. Sometimes it felt like a lifetime since Katy had been alive, and in other moments Maya could have swore it was only yesterday that her mother would run her fingers through her hair or kiss her forehead before she left for work.

It had been a year, but the wound still felt fresh. Maya could still feel the loss of her mother like a gaping hole in her chest. There was nothing that could ever fill that piece of her that was now missing.

Still the trip with Shawn was nice. She had had fun exploring with him, especially since he was in such a good mood about Maya attending Hudson the following year. Shawn had revealed that he had been seriously considering relocating to Boston if Maya chose to go to BU. He said he would draw the line at Carolina though. He would have fought her on her decision if she had picked Chapel hill. There was nothing wrong with the state, but Shawn hadn't thought he could stomach living so far away from everyone. At least they could have taken the train into the city from Boston. While this could have been seen as being crazy over protective or helicopter parent esque, Maya had found it overwhelmingly sweet. Shawn knew what it was like to be bailed on, and he knew Maya had felt that feeling too. He wanted to protect her, and as independant as Maya could be, she was more than willing to let him.

While they were in Jamaica Shawn had broached a rather serious topic with Maya and they had spent nearly the rest of the trip discussing the logistic of what he had asked her. Maya came back to the city full of certainty but also with a to do list. One she needed help on. This was something she could go to Riley for, but in that moment that didn't seem like the right choice. She knew that the real persons whose help she needed was Josh.

…

Maya turned up to his dorm room the day after she got back from New York. She was over to his place so often she was now friendly with several other people on the floor who saw her coming and going quite often.

Josh opened his dorm room door expectantly and gave her a quick hug as a way of greeting. They chatted for a while before Maya finally got up the nerve to ask Josh about the thing she came there for.

"Can i ask you something." Maya began, slightly unsure of herself

"Of course" Josh said thinking nothing of it.

"Actually it's more of a favour i need then anything else." Maya clarified.

" Go ahead, shoot." Josh offered.

" I need you to come with me to find my dad."


	25. Chapter 25

Someday Soon Chapter 25

( Quite a few of you guessed what was coming in this chapter! So here it is.)

Josh felt his heart drop in his chest at Maya's words.

" You want to find your dad~?" He asked, not entirely sure if he had heard her right.

" Well not find him per say. I know where he is. I just need to go see him." Maya said, looking down at her folded hands in her lap.

" When was the last time you saw him?" Josh asked. He knew that Maya didn't have a relationship with her biological father. He knew that her dad had left when she was little, but he wasn't sure how much interaction they had had since then, if any.

" God it must have been three or four years ago now. He came back to the city. But we only talked for like ten minutes, and before that i hadn't seen him since i was five. Your brother gave us this stupid assignment to forgive someone who had wronged us, and somehow i picked him. I tried to forgive him, but i just couldn't." Maya explained simply with a slight shrug of her shoulders.

" Is that why you want to find him now? To forgive him?" Josh asked seriously. Maya cracked a smile.

" No. Not quite." Maya said, pushing her hair out of her face.

" So what is it then?" Josh pressed, hoping he wasn't pushing her boundaries.

" I need him to terminate his parental rights." Maya said without a beat. Josh's jaw went slack.

" Or i guess i don't know if i need him to, but i want him to." Maya said, trying to clarify her thoughts.

"Wow. That's big." Josh said, still unsure of how to approach the situation. Maya nodded.

" I don't want to be a dick, and you don't have to tell me anymore, but why now?" Josh asked. Maya let out a breath.

" I've been thinking about him a lot lately. Kind of ever since my mom actually." Maya began looking down her hands and picking at the skin around her fingers. It was a nervous tick of hers.

" You know, I don't even think he knows that she's dead. I can't think of a single person who would have told him." Maya confessed. Josh shifted closer to her on the bed, wanting to comfort her but not quite knowing how.

" I never told anyone this, not even Riely, but right after my mom died when i was still in the hospital a social worker came to talk to me. They wanted to call my _dad"_ Maya said putting a certain pronunciation on the word dad as if it tasted wrong in her mouth when she said it in that context.

" Because he is listed in my file as my father. On paper, he is my next of kin. They wanted to put me in his custody. I said that wasn't an option, and then they wanted to send me to my grandparents. There was talk of me moving to Delaware. It was like Shawn was an afterthought. It seemed like nobody but me and him thought that us staying together was the right thing. To everyone else he was just some guy who was married to my mom for less than two years." Maya said her frustration building in her chest.

"On our trip Shawn asked if he could adopt me. He asked. Like there was a chance i was going to say no. Like he isn't the only father that i've actually known."

"Shawns adopting you?" Josh asked, although it wasn't really a surprise. Shawn was already Maya's father, why not make it legal. Maya nodded in answer.

" and you need your dad to terminate his rights for that to happen?" Josh asked still confused. Maya sighed.

" I don't really know. I mean i'm 18 now you remember how fun my birthday was-" Maya added. Maya's 18th birthday had passed while she and Josh had still been sick on the Matthews couch. They had stayed in their vegetative sick state all day. It wasn't the most thrilling of birthdays but the company had been good.

" So me being adopted is really more of a symbolic thing then for legal guardianship, but either way i want Kermit to terminate his rights. I don't want his name on my files. I don't want him listed as my father, because he's not. Shawn is." Josh reached over to rest his hand on Maya's knee. Maya looked over at him a shot him a half smile.

" I'm sorry to drag you into all my shit again. I just can't do this alone. Shawn doesn't know that i'm going to talk to Kermit. I would ask Riley, but she's too invested in this. She knows him, she's met him. Her heart is so big that she can see the good in everyone. She wouldn't want me to just throw him away. Even though he did it first." Maya said with a shrug of her shoulders. Josh gave her knee a gentle squeeze.

" I'm right here. For whatever you need." Maya smiled sadly at him.

" I knew you would be."  
….

It was the next weekend when Josh and Maya got on a train at grand central to get to Philadelphia. Once they were there they would be taking a cab to Josh's parents house and borrowing one of the families cars to make it the rest of their journey. Alan and Amy were at the cape for a weekend getaway, so borrowing the car was no hassle.

Maya had done some digging online and found that her biological father was now living in New Jersey, about an hours drive from Josh's family home.

They had caught the train to Philly around 11 that morning and they estimated that they wouldn't be back to the city until late that night. Shawn was out of town that weekend, working on a piece in Boston, so Maya hadn't had to make up an excuse to being out all day to him.

She had told Riley that she was studying for Hudson's college readiness test, something that did not in fact exist. Maya had needed an excuse Riley would take seriously, and they were in nearly the exact same classes at school, so Maya had had to make something up.

They rode side by side on the train, sharing the same pair of headphones. It wasn't until they were in the car on the way to jersey that Josh even tried to broach the subject of what they were on this trip for.

They had passed the state line into Jersey when Josh glanced over to the passenger seat where Maya was sitting and noticed that her hands were shaking in her lap.

" Nervous?" Josh asked, trying to keep his eyes on the road. Maya let out a shaky laugh.

" Is it that obvious?" Maya asked, trying to calm herself.

" Do you know what you want to say to him?" Josh asked, glancing over at her. Maya sighed.

" The scenario has played out several different ways in my mind. Sometimes it involves me falling into his arms in tears saying 'all i ever wanted to do was love you, why did you leave me?' and then asking him to come to my high school graduation, and other times i basically just tell him to take a long walk off a short pier."

Josh snorted in laughter as Maya glanced over at him with a grin. Although her words were serious Maya was trying to keep herself calm and being light and breezy about the whole ordeal seemed to be the best way to cope.

The hour drive into the small town in Jersey flew by and Maya's stomach had been tying itself into knots. Her anxiety was mounting as they grew closer and closer to their final destination. There was only so much information that Maya had been able to gather about her father without contacting him so Maya didn't exactly know where he lived. She had discovered however where he worked.

So there Josh and Maya were, sitting in the car in the parking lot of a warehouse shipping centre. Maya had read on linkdin that Kermit was managing a sector within the building, so the two were camped out in the parking lot waiting for him to appear. Maya had been nervous that she wouldn't recognize her father if he came out of the building in a group of people.

However, when 3pm rolled around and a single man exited the building Maya was sure even from a distance that he was her father. His hair was shorter now, and he looked more clean cut. He climbed into a tan minivan and started up the engine. Josh and Maya followed at a slight distance as Kermit drove down the road of the quiet town. Maya hadn't wanted to confront him at work, so they had had to be slightly stalker like and follow Kermit to his home. However he did not turn into a residential neighbourhood, but rather into the parking lot of a school.

It seemed that class was just getting out for the day as when they pulled into the lot childrens were milling around and climbing into cars. Maya was watching from the car window as three blonde haired children bobbed towards Kermit in his tanned van. The children were spread in age from what looked to be five to twelve.

Maya's heart sank as she realized that those tiny bonde humans must be her half brothers and sisters. Maya was silent as Josh followed the van away from the school and towards a neighbourhood. The van pulled into the driveway of a beige split level house, complete with white mail box and fenced in backyard. Josh parked across the street as Kermit and his kids piled out of the van and into the house. Maya slumped in the passenger seat.

" Of course they just had to have a white picket fence." Maya muttered.

" They probably have a golden retriever too. The perfect all american family." Maya took a deep breath.

" Do you think they look like me?" Maya asked, looking over at Josh.

" the kids?" Josh asked just to make sure. Maya nodded.

" I always thought i looked like my mom. But i don't think anyone would doubt that were siblings. I look like I could fit into their family photo." Maya let out another breath and looked up wistfully at the house in front of her. She began rininger her hands in anxiety. They sat in silence for several minutes as Maya tried to decide what she wanted to do.

" I don't know if i can go in." Maya said quietly, looking straightforward. Josh looked over at her.

" Did you change your mind?" Josh asked, referring to the legal documents maya had in a sealed manila envelope on her lap. Maya shook her head.

"No. I want him to sign. I need him to sign. I just feel like right now if i look at him i'm going to fall into a million pieces all over again." Maya took another breath,

" Is it just a massive cop out if i just shove this through the mailbox?" Maya asked in a joking way although she was entirely serious.

" Do you want me to do it?" Josh offered. Maya gave him a skeptical look. Josh asked again. Maya looked down at the envelope in her hands. Maya looked up at him and their eyes caught for a moment. Josh held her gaze, until maya extended her hand and placed the thick envelope in Josh's hands.

" I'll be right back." Josh said reassuringly as he undid his seatbelt and opened the car door. Maya slumped low in her seat but peak up to watch Josh dash across the road and up the walkway to the house. Maya had expected Josh to just leave the envelope on the doorstep, but she watched in surprise when she saw Josh ring the house's doorbell. As she saw the door open Maya slumped even farther down into her seat so she couldn't see what was going on outside the car. She couldn't imagine Josh coming face to face with her father.

Seemingly seconds later Josh was back into the car and driving away from the street. Maya let out a breath but stayed slumped in her seat.

" Thank you" She muttered to him. She couldn't imagine what it would be like when the signed papers arrived back at her apartment in the days to come. In those moments she could be completely free of her biological father.

She hadn't been able to face him. Yet there was a nagging feeling in her chest knowing she had said her last words to him already, and she didn't even remember what they were.

…..

They arrived back in the city well past 9 o'clock that night. They emerged from the train station and headed towards the subway station. In theory Josh's stop would arrive first, but Maya knew that because of the hour Josh would ride the extra stops and make sure she got home safe, even if she hadn't asked him to.

But that wasn't enough. Maya had felt off ever since they had driven away from her father's house. As they walked down the street towards the subway station Maya kept hold of Josh's arm and came to a stop. Josh turned to look at her, a question on his face.

"Look you can say no, you've done more than enough for me today, but Shawn's still out of town, and i really don't alone tonight. Do you think i could crash out at your place?" Josh gave her a soft look.

" Of course." He said gently, pulling her forward towards the subway station, but not letting go of her hand.


	26. Chapter 26

Someday Soon Chapter 26

Josh hadn't let go of Maya's hand as they walked down the street, descended the stairs into a subway station and waited on the platform for a train to arrive. Once the train arrived they stepped aboard, but had to separate as there was only room for one of them to sit. Josh stood in front of her, holding the bar above his head for support as the train lurched forward. Grand central was located in Midtown and they rode the train back towards the village and the NYU dorms.

They rode in silence, listening to the conversations of those around them on the train. Josh could tell that Maya was deep in thought. He knew that it must have been a very difficult day for her. Maya wanted to be free of her biological father, but that didn't mean that it was easy for her to cut the cord.

They exited the subway and climbed the stairs back up to the surface of the city. They still had several blocks to walk before the entrance to Josh's dorm building. It was late march and temperatures often dropped below freezing once the sun had gone done. Josh and Maya walked quickly down the street, huddled close together. They often bumped into one another's sides as they walked down the street, on a mission to make it into the warmth of an apartment building's lobby.

They were about half a block away from Josh's building when he came to a stop, and reached out to catch Maya's arm. Maya looked back at him confused, a red flush in her cheeks from the cold air around them. Josh jerked his head to the side, gesturing towards the glowing light of the front window of the tiny pizza shop beside them. Maya's eyes slide from Josh's face to where he was gesturing to. Maya eyes widened at the site of the neon sign, and nodded vigorously.

They had driven through a fast food place before leaving Jersey that afternoon but neither of them had eaten since then. Maya hadn't realized how hungry she was until Josh had brought the pizza shop to her attention.

Maya happily let Josh lead her inside. The warm air from inside the shop was a welcome blast in stark contrast to the freezing air that filled the streets outside. The shop smelled of freshly baking dough, melting cheese, and garlic. Maya thought she could have stayed there happily the rest of the night. The store was tiny and warm from the heat of the pizza oven. There were a few other people eating pizza by the slice at tall tables, perched on tall stools, while a few other people stood at the counter waiting for their pizzas to be boxed for take out.

She and Josh joined the short line for take out, preferring to make it back to Josh's place with their food before it got any darker or colder outside. They waited for a few minutes, Maya hopping from foot to foot to warm herself up, and to pass the time.

Once they had their food they braved the cold outside once again and walked the remainder of the block to one of the NYU dorm buildings. Josh flashed his key board against the scanner and pulled open the door to the building. They rode the elevator up to Josh's floor, Maya holding the pizza box in her hands, anxious to dig into their late dinner.

They reached Josh's dorm and as Josh pulled out his keys the door to the room across from his cracked open. His friend and floormate Randall, leaned against his door jam an amused look on his face.

" Hey Randy." Maya said as Josh finally got his door open. Maya and Randall had been introduced on one of the many occasions that Maya had visited Josh at his dorm. The two had a bit of a rapour going now as they saw each other quite often. Randall had seen Maya leave Josh's dorm room in the early morning of the previous year, and had been teasing Josh about it ever since. Now that Maya was hanging out at Josh's place so often Randy had even more ammo to throw at Josh. Josh had told Randall a little about his odd friendship/ possible future relationship with Maya. While Randall understood, it also amused him greatly.

While Maya had her back to the two boys, entering Josh's room, Randal began to thrust his hips against the air, biting his tongue and wagging his eyebrows at Josh. Josh shot his friend the bird and then shut the door harshly in face.

Maya had placed the pizza box on Josh's desk and lifted the lid ever so slightly in order to catch a whiff of the scent.

Josh shrugged out of his coat and Maya did the same, before sitting down on Josh's desk chair to untie her boots. Josh walked over to his dresser, opened one of the middle drawers and pulled out a pair of sweatpants and a t shirt. He tossed them to Maya.

"You can sleep in those if you want." He said, as she gathered up the clothes and got her to feet.

"Thank you." Maya said gratefully. She really hadn't been looking forward to sleeping in her jeans. Maya walked over to the corner of the room and Josh politely turned his back on her. As Maya changed into the sweats, Josh could hear as her jeans hit the floor, followed by her top. He had to dig his nails into his palm to remain calm. What had he gotten himself into letting her stay there that night?

Once she had finished changing Maya walked back over to where Josh was standing at the desk and pulled the pizza box over to her.

"God, i'm already cheating on Hudson and I don't even officially go there yet." Maya joked, referring to the NYU t shirt josh had lent her to sleep in.

" Yeah well those are also my John Adams High sweatpants so you're committing all kind of educational adultery. " Josh added, picking up the pizza box from his desk and walking with it over to his bed. Maya laughed and followed him over to where he sat.

Maya sat cross legged on top of Josh's covers while Josh opened the pizza box and handed her a slice. She took the pizza from him gratefully and took a large bite. Maya sighed with contentment, glad to finally be eating something. It now seemed that the burgers they had eaten in the car that afternoon had been several life times ago.

While eating his own slice, Josh reached over and pulled his laptop towards them. He pulled the screen open and pressed the power button. The screen lit up, his previous internet browser page still open. Josh quickly typed in a URL and pulled up the netflix home page.

" Yes!" Maya said in excitement through a mouth full of pizza when she realized what Josh was doing. They were still binging through the same crime drama on netflix and is was rare that they got to watch it together. They tried to keep the same pace, and always texted one another when something particularly exciting or scandalous happened.

They ate their late dinner, watching the laptop screen intently, gasping at plot twists, or nuding the other in excitement when they thought they may have made a realization about one of the characters.

After an hour or two the empty pizza box was on the floor, the lights in Josh's dorm room had been turned off, and the two were tucked under the covers of Josh's bed. The only light in the room was the blue glow of the laptop screen, which was still playing out an episode of Josh and Maya's prefered tv show.

Both were fading fast into sleep after their particularly long and emotionally difficult day. Maya was surprised to find herself falling asleep so quickly and so early in the night. She usually wouldn't fall into unconsciousness until the early hours of the morning. It was barely after midnight and she was already ready to fall over the edge into sleep. In her final moment of being awake all Maya could think about was Josh beside her, and how in the small bed, it was impossible for them not to touch.


	27. Chapter 27

Someday Soon Chapter 27

The moment Josh woke up the next morning he wanted to go back to sleep. He had never had such a restful sleep in his life. It was early morning and still dark outside, and his bed was so soft and warm that it seemed like a shame to think of ever leaving it. Josh blinked a few times as he woke up, and then remembered the circumstances of the previous night, and that he wasn't alone in his bed.

All at once Josh was fully awake. During the night Josh and Maya's bodies had shifted so that they were tangled together more comfortably on the small mattress. Their legs were intertwined under the sheets. Maya's back was pressed against Josh's chest and his arm was wrapped around her torso, his hand resting on her stomach. During the night the oversized t shirt he had lent her to sleep in had ridden up, so his palm was resting against Maya's bare skin. This was a problem. In a perfect world Josh would pull her closer to him, nuzzle his nose into her long hair, press a kiss to her neck and lay in bed with her for the rest of the day.

But this wasn't a perfect world. This was reality. He was still Josh. She was still Maya. Maya was still in high school. Suddenly the three months that spanned infront of them to Maya's graduation looked never ending. There was a part of him that wanted to say screw it to the whole ordeal. The voice in his head was reminding him that Maya was eighteen now. That her birthday had been months ago. So in that case it was fine right? He could do more then pull her closer, he could wake her up and be with her in every possible way. In all the ways he had been thinking about for months.

But no. Her age wasn't the point. Legally they could have been in a relationship since day one. It wasn't an issue of age of this had started it had been all about giving them both time to mature. Josh had set these rules out for himself and he wasn't about to break them now. New Years had been a slip up that he had managed to explain away to himself, but this was different. If he kissed her now, while she laid asleep beside him in his bed, his hands on her bare skin, he didn't think he would ever be able to stop.

Slowly in an attempt to not wake her, Josh tried to pull his arm away from Maya's side, and untangle his legs from her own. Although Josh had tried to be careful not to jostle her as he moved, Maya began to stir and wake up. Maya twisted in bed, flipping over in bed to face him. She held his gaze for a moment, the two of them laying face to face, mere inches between their lips. Josh had to hold himself back from reaching over to brush a piece of hair out of her face, or run his thumb softly across her cheek. Then Maya's blank face broke into a smirk.

"You've got pizza breath." Maya whispered. Josh let out a quiet laugh, starting to feel slightly more at ease.

" Look who's talking." He shot back. Maya scoffed, and shoved at his shoulders, pretending to be offended. Josh rolled his eyes at her but smiled nonetheless.

"Alright bed head. Let's get bagels."

…..

Maya and Josh had gotten breakfast at a Bagel and coffee shop down the street from Josh's dorm building before parting ways for the afternoon. Maya had to head uptown to pick up Hudson, who had been staying with Farkle for the weekend. Maya had asked her friend to watch her dog the previous day as Maya hadn't wanted to leave her dog home alone in the apartment the whole day. Hudson was usually fine alone at home for the day when Shawn was at work and Maya was at school, but Maya knew there was a good possibility that she wouldn't be back to New York from Jersey until late into the evening, so she had asked if Farkle minded keeping him at his place until sunday morning.

Farkle, who enjoyed the little dog's presence more than anyone of her friends, was more then happy to have him as an overnight house guest. Maya had given Farkle the same excuse that she had given Riley, that she needed to study for the Hudson entrance exam. She had said that Hudson was too much of a distraction to have home with her all day when she was trying to work, so Farkle had been more then happy to dog sit for her.

Maya rode the subway up to Farkles neighbourhood to pick up her dog. She and Farkle chatting for a few minutes once she arrived at his apartment, before Maya scooped up her dog and headed back down to the village.

After all the events that had happened that weekend, Maya was ready to lounge around her apartment for the remainder of her sunday. Shawn wasn't due back until much later that evening, so Maya was looking forward to being alone with her thoughts for a while. Maya had a lot of decompressing to do.

She had been so on edge the previous night that she couldn't have dreamed of going back to her empty apartment. She was grateful that Josh had let her crash out in his room.

Maya had been back in her apartment about an hour when she heard a knock at the door. Maya had just finished boiling a kettle of water, and she reached over to flip off the switch before walking over to answer the door.

Hudson was sleeping on the couch, his little chest going up and down as he snored lightly.

" Some guard dog you are." Maya muttered at him as she crossed the living room to answer the door. Maya peaked through the peephole and unlocked her apartment door as soon as she saw who it was.

" Hey Riles." Maya said in greeting as Riley walked into the apartment without hesitation.

Riley flopped down on the couch next to Hudson and pulled the small dog onto her chest.

" How was studying?" Riley asked in a tone that made it clear that there was clearly something else on her mind.

" Fine…" Maya said slowly as she closed the apartment door behind her and walked over to where her best friend sat.

"Whats up with you?" Maya asked hesitantly, knowing there was a storm coming. That was all it took for Riley to explode into the story of her latest argument with Lucas. Maya leaned back against the couch and nodded along with everything her best friend was saying. At this point Maya almost had the whole conversation down to a script. It seemed that a week couldn't go by without Lucas and Riley having some sort of blow out fight. Maya was sympathetic towards her friend, but at some point enough was enough. Lucas and Riley seemed rather determined to remain in their relationship, despite how dysfunctional it had become,which meant that all of their friends had to put up with their constant bickering.

Riley was in the middle of going off about Lucas when she stopped in the middle of her sentence. Her eyes narrowed at Maya.

"Nice shirt." Riley said to Maya. Maya glanced down at what she was wearing and realized that she still had on Josh's NYU shirt. Maya shot her friend a sheepish smile.

"Thanks." Maya said quickly. She could see that Riley was about to make another comment so she quickly went on.

"What did Lucas say after that?" Maya pressed. Just like that Riley jumped right back into her story, unable to contain the frustrations she felt about the topic when prompted. As her best friend rambled on about the problems in her love life, Maya let out a sigh of relief. She really didn't want to explain the circumstances in which she had found herself in her best friend's uncle's bed.

…

A few days later Maya and Riley were sitting at the counter at Topangas, sharing a piece of coffee cake and waiting for Josh to refill their now empty coffee cups. Riley and Maya had stopped in to the cafe after school as a way to put off doing their homework.

The pair of friends were chatting lightly as Josh approached them with a fresh pot of coffee. He filled their cups, and as he was turning to help another customer he looked up across the room, and out the front window.

His face fell.

" Josh?" Riley said in a slightly concerned tone.

" You look like you've seen a ghost." Riley continued, watching him carefully. Maya twisted around in her seat to follow Josh's eyeline. Maya felt her own stomach drop as she saw what Josh had been looking at.

Her father, her biological father, Kermit was pulling open the bakeries door.


	28. Chapter 28

Someday Soon Chapter 28

(From a legal standpoint all this is probably wrong regarding the parental rights and such so just roll with it please! I'm basically just making stuff up)

In the blink of an eye Maya was off her barstool and across the cafe in a flash. Kermit hadn't even finished pulling open the door when Maya was in front of him and forcing him back out the door. This wasn't something she wanted to deal with in front of a whole cafe of people, many of whom were regulars, that she saw multiple times a week. Being out in the open on a busy city street wasn't much better but it was the best she could get.

Maya came to a stop on the sidewalk, facing the man who was supposed to be her father, but was little more than a looking into Kermits eyes, her face blank, waiting for Kermit to make the first move. Kermit look hesitant to speak, as if unsure what he wanted to say.

" Maya-" He began but the moment he spoke Maya cut him off. She had thought she wanted to hear what he had to say, but in that moment she knew that it didn't matter.

"Did you sign them?" Maya deadpanned, her eyes locking on the manila envelope in Kermits hands.

"Maya these papers-"  
"Did you sign them?" Maya asked again, curling her hands into fists to keep them from shaking.

Kermit took a breath trying to assess how to handle this conversation. When he finally spoke he was looking down at the envelope that he held.

"No." he said meekly.

" Well do you need a pen?" Maya asked, feeling the anger growing in her throat as she tried to suppress it. Maya could see that Kermit was grinding his teeth in frustration, not knowing how to proceed.

"You've got to give me a second here, to make sense of all this, i mean" Kermit opened the envelope, pulled out the papers, and began rifling through them.

" this says i'm terminating my parental rights, and sole physical custody will be granted to Shawn Hunter? Who even is that? Are you joining a cult?" Kermit pressed only half joking.

" Shawn is my dad." Maya said simply, her face still blank.

" And sole custody? What about your mother?" Maya felt her heart stop momentarily in her chest. For the first time she let a trace of her emotion reach her face as her lip began to quiver and she actively tried to fight back her tears.

"She's dead." Maya said, her voice shaking as she spoke. Maya saw Kermits eye widen and his jaw go slack as he absorbed what she had just said.

" She had brain cancer. She died just about a year ago. Shawn was her husband, and my dad." They stood in silence as Kermit was too shocked to speak.

" Why did nobody tell me?" He asked quietly.

"Why would they?" Maya shot back.

"Look could you just sign? I've never asked you to do anything for me before, so could you just do this? It doesn't change anything for you. We still won't see each other, we still won't speak. This is just me, taking your name off my file." Kermit continued to look down at his shoes.

"I saw you. You have a family, and you looked really happy, and i know that i'll never be apart of that. Just like you'll never be a part of what Shawn and I have. I could go on pretending and hoping that someday the two of us could have some sort of relationship, but I just don't think that that's realistic."

Kermit stayed silent, still watching the ground. Maya kept watching him. It hurt her that he couldn't look her in the eye, but she guessed that that was to be expected. After a moment Kermit produced a pen from his pocket and sloppily signed his name on the dotted line. He passed the papers back to Maya.

"For what it's worth, I am sorry." Kermit said, watching as Maya straightened the papers and slide them back into the envelope.

" I know." She said wiping away the single tear that had escaped down her face. Neither seemed to have anything else to say, so Kermit began to walk away from her down the street. Before he could get to far, Maya spoke again.

"What are their names?" She called after him. Kermit turned to look at her, confused.

"Your kids. The siblings i'm never going to meet." Maya clarified, looking him dead in the eye.

" My oldest girl is Alanah, The boy is Carson, and my youngest… is Kaitlyn."

Maya's heart dropped to the floor at the sound of Kermits last childs name. Her mother's full name. The name Kermit had apparently given to his child. To one of the members of the family he actually wanted.

"It was my wife's mother's name." Kermit stated, knowing what Maya must be thinking. Maya's eyes were glassed over with tears that she was trying very hard not to let fall. She nodded.

"I hope you're all really happy." Maya said quietly as she turned her back on the person who used to be her father.

…...

Maya had flown out of the cafe so quickly that Riley hadn't had time to process what was going on. By the time that Riley turned around in her seat Maya was already out the door and on the sidewalk. Maya and Kermit had backed up out of view of the cafe window so Riley had only caught a fleeting view of who Maya was talking to.

It had been years since Riley had seen Kermit, and even then it had only been for a few minutes. Years ago he had been a lot shagger looking with longer hair cut and a slight beard, so Riley hadn't recognized him at all in the few moments she had seen him before Kermit and Maya had disappeared out of her sight.

"What was that about?" Riley said turning back to the counter but still glancing over her shoulder towards the direction that Maya had disappeared to. Josh was craning his neck in an attempt to see further onto the sidewalk beside the cafe. Josh shrugged his shoulders at his niece. He didn't know how much Maya had told Riley about what was going on with her father, if anything, and didn't want to give anything away.

Josh topped up Riley's coffee cups in an attempt to distract her. Josh wasn't sure what exactly was happening with Maya and her dad, but he knew it wasn't something she would want them butting in on. He needed to keep Riley busy so she wouldn't start getting ancy about Maya's disappearing act. Maya had left all her stuff there, so Riley knew that she would have to come back.

It was several minutes before Maya came back into Josh's view and he could see that she was visibly shaken. She began pacing back and forth in front of the front window trying to calm herself down.

" Riley, watch the counter." Josh said, walking around from behind the counter and towards the front door of the shop.

"What?" Riley said through a mouth full of cheesecake, clearly confused.

"Just watch the counter." Josh said again as he crossed the cafe and pushed open the heavy front door and stepped out onto the street.

"Hey." Josh said, walking over to where Maya was pacing. Maya stopped walking and looked over at him, trying to wipe off any remnants of the tears that had fallen.

"It's done. He signed them." Maya said, gesturing at him with the envelope in her hand.

" Are you okay?" Josh asked, watching her carefully. She gave him a side smile.

" I think so."

….

Maya and Josh had gone back into the cafe to join Riley. Maya had brushed off the incident to her best friend. She wasn't quite ready to tell her about it yet. Maya hadn't even told her that Shawn was planning to adopt her. Shawn and Maya hadn't mentioned it to anyone yet, besides Josh. It wasn't something that they wanted to broadcast until was official. Maya had only told Josh because she had needed his help, and she was sure that she could trust him not to tell.

Later that night Maya was sitting on the couch in her apartment with Hudson on her lap, flipping through tv channels and trying to preoccupy herself. The apartment door opened and Hudson jumped down from the couch and rushed to dance around Shawn's ankles.

Maya rose from the couch and walked straight over to Shawn, wrapping her arms around his middle and hugging him tightly.

"Whats this for?" Shawn asked in surprise as he wrapped his arms around her in return.

"I just wanted to hug my dad."


	29. Chapter 29

Someday Soon Chapter 29

The final day of March was spent in anxiety as everyone waited on pins and needles to find out if both Farkle and Riley got into the schools of their choice. The group was gathered in the living room of the Matthews apartment, where the wifi was deemed best, and watched as Riley and Farkle constantly refreshed their emails and the college login portal pages.

Everyone could feel the anxiety mounting in the room as the release time inched closer and closer. Maya remembered her own fear and stress when waiting for her letter from Hudson, and could only imagine that Riley and Farkle were feeling at least double amount of pressure. Hudson wasn't easy to get into, but it was no ivy league. Riley and Farkle were facing schools with acceptance rates as small as 6 percent.

Zay was already accepted to a school in Alabama, and Lucas was heading back to Texas to attend University of Texas at Austin. The two boys were sitting on the Matthews couch, playing with Auggie's xbox and trying to keep themselves preoccupied while Riley and Farkle constantly refreshed their laptop screens.

" They're up." Farkles said his voice mingling with anxiety and excitement. Maya watched as all the blood drained from Riley's face. Maya walked around and placed her hands on Riley's shoulders. Zay and Lucas looked away from the television screen but stayed on the couch.

Farkle began to type in his password for the Princeton log in site, while Riley began to enter her username for the UPenn admin site. Riley's hands were shaking as she typed and Maya felt her shoulders tense under her hands. Maya gave her shoulder a tight squeeze of encouragement, biting the side of her lip in anticipation. Maya leaned down so she could better see the screen and Riley waited for her results to load.

Thousands of kids were logging onto the site at the exact same time so the connection was painfully slow, dragging out the high intensity moment in a way that was nearly unbearable.

Finally the results were up.

Riley and Farkle let out a massive sigh of relief at the same time. Maya yelped in excitement when she realized that both of her friends had received acceptances.

" I got in!" Riley squealed in excitement, standing up from the bench at the same time that farkle stood up from his chair, a massive smile spreading across his face.

Maya, Riley, and Farkle piled together in a hug, Riley laughing in relief and excitement.

"Thank god you both got in because i didn't know if i could be happy for one of you and emotionally supportive for the other." Maya said, only half joking. Maya was relieved that both her friends had gotten into their choice schools. It was great for them personally, as they had both worked so hard over the years, but Maya was happy for selfish reasons as well. Maya was staying in New York, and while both Farkle and Riley were going out of state to New Jersey and Pennsylvania they would both be just a little over an hour away. They could see each other on weekends and holidays. Things would be different, but in a way their friendship wouldn't really have to change all that much. They would all be close by, if one of them needed something.

Zay and Lucas had risen from the couch now and moved into the kitchen to offer their congratulations to Farkle and Riley.

"I've got to go call my dad!" Farkle said in sheer excitement, pulling his phone out of his pocket and heading to the hallway to call his father. Riley was ahead of the game and already had her phone out calling her parents. Maya's face hurt from smiling, her heart so full of joy for her friends. Out of the corner of her eye she noticed something not quite right. After offering his congratulations to Riley and Farkle Lucas had gone silent. His face was sullen as he watched Riley make her call. Maya narrowed her eyes at him, looking between his downturned expression and Riley's overjoyed face. This couldn't be good.

…..

Later that night the whole group of friends, Riley and Farkles parents, and Shawn were headed to a celebratory dinner uptown and a chic restaurant that they had some how managed to get a reservation to despite their large number.

They were filing into the restaurant, checking their coats, when Maya decided that she had had enough. Lucas had been doing a very bad job of hiding his bad mood the whole day. Riley was still very excited but Maya could tell that the way Lucas was acting was starting to get to her. Maya knew what this was about. She was sure Lucas would never admit it, but Maya knew that he had been hoping that Riley wouldn't get into UPenn. Lucas had been hoping that Riley would follow him to Texas, rather than staying on the east coast.

The group was approaching their table when Maya grabbed Lucas by his upper arms and began to drag him towards the back of the restaurant.

" I need to talk to you for a second." Maya said as way of explanation. They made it to the back hallway where the bathrooms were located before Maya turned on him.

" Do you have a problem?" Maya said in an accusatory manner. Lucas gave her a confused look, so she went on.

" You need to pipe it down with your sour face and your bad attitude. I know you're disappointed that the two of you aren't going to move to texas and ride cows into the sunset, but your girlfriend just got into one of the most prestigious schools in the country. So i need you to at least pretend to be happy for her okay?" Maya demanded. Lucas looked as if he was about to respond but Maya didn't give him the chance.

" So right now we are going to back to that table and you are going to smile and be pleasant, because if i see you continue to mope around i will physically beat you. I know i may look small, but i have a lot of repressed anger and rage due to my endless daddy issues. I can and will hurt you." Maya said. Then she composed herself, shot him a sweet smile and walked back into the restaurant.

Maya approached the table smiling pleasantly. Shawn shot her a confused look, and Maya gestured with her head between Lucas and Riley. Shawn nodded, having grasped what Maya was dealing. Maya took her seat, and opened her menu.

" So what's everyone having?" Maya asked with a bright smile as if nothing was wrong at all.

…

Maya woke early on the anniversary. It was a brisk april morning and rain was pouring down in sheets outside her window. Maya slipped out of her bed and walked over to her window, her heart heavy in her chest.

" now it rains." She muttered. Exactly one year prior it had been a beautiful sunny day. The sun had flooded through the window of her mother's hospital room as her heart stopped and Maya's whole world crumbled at her feet. It had been one year since Katy's death. Maya felt like he had been decades since she had last seen her mother, but she could also hear her voice in her head like it was yesterday. One year since the day.

Maya walked out of her bedroom and into the living room of the apartment. Shawn was sitting at the breakfast bar. He looked up at her and it was clear that neither of them was sure what the right thing to say to the other was. They sat in silence, the only sound the clatter of their spoons against their cereal bowls.

Neither of them had talked about it, but it seemed to be understood what they were doing that day. Without speaking they had gotten dressed and made their way down to the lobby of the building and out onto the street. They began to walk. Their destination clear to only themselves.

They stood in front of Katys headstone looking down at it in silence. They had both been to this spot several times over the past year, both alone and together. Maya placed down the gas station flowers they had picked up along the way. They weren't anything special, but they were the kind of simple thing that had always been able to make Katy smile. They stood there in silence a while longer. As they looked down at the marble stone, Maya felt Shawn squeeze her hand. The rain was still falling down on their heads but neither of them cared. The only thing they had to do today was to watch that single spot on the ground.


	30. Chapter 30

Someday Soon Chapter 30

AN: Sorry i haven't been consistent with updating. It's a busy time of year :) Thank you for your patience and thank you for all your guys support for this story!

The end of April was a very eventful time for the Matthew family and their extended clan. Morgan Matthews wedding was set for the final weekend of that month, in Savannah Georgia. Morgan would be marrying a Georgia native she had met while both were studying economics at Tulane in New Orleans. The couple had been together all through college, but had broken up and gone their separate ways after graduation when Morgan had moved back up to Philadelphia and Mark had returned to Atlanta. It hadn't been until the previous may that the two had reconnected and began a relationship again. The two had gotten engaged that november and set the date for april. With such a short amount of time to plan and execute the wedding everyone involved was left in a tail spin. The planning of the wedding had been stressful, but the final date was finally there.

It was the thursday before the wedding and the Matthews and Hunter clan were at JFK airport waiting to board 5 pm flight to Savannah. Maya was holding her passport in her hand, tilting the page back and forth and watching as the light reflected back on the photo page. The passport was brand new, having only arrived in the mail a few days earlier. Maya had been concerned that it might not have arrived on time, but luckily the mail service had come through.

Maya ran her finger over the name stated next to the tiny photo of herself. _Maya Penelope Hunter_ was printed in neat letters, her new signature scrawled at the bottom of the page.

" Cute picture." Josh said over her shoulder, smirking down at the tiny picture of a sullen faced Maya. Maya reached back and swatted at him.

" Like you look like some greek god in yours." Maya shot back. She had already seen the passport photo of a dorky looking thirteen year old Josh in the cab on the way to the airport.

" Well no one looks good in a passport photo." Josh said defensively, but with the hint of a smirk on his face.

" True, but no one looks quite as bad as you Uncle Josh." Riley said jokingly, coming up behind them in the boarding line. Josh shot his niece a dirty look as Maya and RIley both snickered with laughter.

" Keep the line moving!" Topanga said from behind them, clutching her carry on to her chest. Topanga had always been an anxious flyer, and had tried to talk everyone into taking the train all the way down to Georgia.

Cory, Topanga, Shawn, Josh, Riley, Maya, and Auggie all filed onto the plane and took their seats. The flight down to Savannah was just over two and a half hours, and despite it only being 5 pm, Riley quickly fell asleep on Maya shoulder. Maya, Riley and Josh had all been sitting in the middle three seats of the plane. Maya was sitting in between Riley and Josh and while her best friend slept on her shoulder, Maya and Josh worked together to fill in one of the cross words in the in flight magazine. The two would occasionally argue about the correct answer, while Maya snacked on Riley's in flight snacks before her friend had the opportunity to wake up and eat them herself.

By the time that the plane touched down in Georgia Josh and Maya had completed every puzzle in the inflight magazine and already picked out the best items from every page of the skymall issue in the seat in front of them.

…..

Despite the fact that the group had only been traveling for a small portion of the day, Maya and Riley were exhausted by the time that the cabs pulled up to the large plantation style hotel a short drive outside of Savannah. Morgans wedding would be taking place on the grounds of the hotel that saturday.

Everyone checked in and headed up to their rooms without saying much more to each other. It was just past 8pm but everyone seemed ready to retire to bed. Maya and Riley were sharing a hotel room and both jumped headlong onto the fluffy white beds as soon as they got through the doors. They had eaten enough snacks on the plane ride down that they weren't hungry for dinner.

Maya and Riley talked for around an hour, sitting on their separate beds and cozying down for the night. They mused about the upcoming wedding, and the rehearsal dinner the next day. Maya was really just tagging along for all these events. She had met Morgan only a few times Morgan had lived out of state for the majority of the time that Maya and Riley had been friends, and often didn't make it to the family events that Maya happened to attend.

Maya was really just Shawns guest, and in reality Shawn was really just Cory's guest. There was a thin chain of connections that had lead to Maya being invited to the wedding. Regardless of how she had ended up with an invite Maya was glad to be there. Who would say no to a free party and catered dinner? Maya's only regret was that Hudson had had to remain in New York. Farkle was happy to watch him, but she missed sleeping with the dog curled against her chest.

Maya hadn't faded off to sleep until after midnight, (with the help of half a sleep aid), so she was less than pleased when she woke up, rolled over in bed, and saw that the clock on the bedside table read 2:47 am. Maya let out a huff and was just about to stuff a pillow over her head when she noticed that Riley's bed was empty. Maya sat up, and peered around the room. She noticed that the bathroom light was one and she thought she could hear the sound of muffled talking, or maybe argueing. A few moments later the bathroom door creaked open and Riley entered back into the main room, wiping at her eyes. She stopped in her tracks when she saw that Maya was awake and sitting up in bed.

" Did i wake you?" Riley asked, wiping at her tears more hurriedly. Maya shook her head, and moved over in bed, patting the spot beside her in a gesture for Riley to come sit. After a moment of hesitation Riley approached and climbed into bed beside Maya.

" Were you talking to Lucas?" Maya asked, watching Riley carefully. Riley let out a sigh which Maya took to be a yes.

"Were you fighting about school again?" Maya prompted although she was already fairly sure of the answer. Riley nodded.

" More of the same?" Maya asked, she knew Riley and Lucas had the same fight about school almost every other day. Lucas had been campaigning for Riley to come to school in Texas for months.

" I just don't know what to do." Riley said meekly.

" Yes you do." Maya said confidently. Riley gave her friend a look so Maya pushed on.

" It's easy choice. You made your list of pros and cons. UPenn is one of the top schools in the country, your grandparents live in Philadelphia, you're only a few hours from home so you can come home on weekend if you want, and you hate texas."

" I don't _hate_ texas." Riley defended but that only made Maya roll her eyes.

" Oh please i remember your sad and soppy emails from when you were there in the summer. Texas isn't your style. You're an east coast kind of girl."

Riley bit the side of her lip.

" I know, i know, i just don't want to let him down." Maya thought for a second before speaking.

" I know that you love him, but i really think that this is one decision that you shouldn't make with him in mind. Your mom got into Yale right?" Maya asked. Riley looked over at her best friend slightly confused, but nodded.

" and she turned the offer down so she could stay with your dad because she knew that he was the one. She was sure enough about him that she picked him over her dream school. Can you say that about Lucas? Do you think that he's the one?" Riley was looking down at her hands and Maya knew that she had the answer, but just didn't want to say it.

" It's your life Riles. Do what's best for you. It doesn't mean that you don't love him."

The two girls sat in silence for a few minutes, with Riley leaning her head against Maya's shoulder.

"Now that we've analysed my love life can i ask you something?" Riley inquired raising her head to look up at her best friend.

"Of course." Maya said meeting her friends eye slightly unsure about what she was talking about.

" I know i've been kind of distracted over the past few months, and i haven't been around a ton, but i have noticed a few things. Or at least i think i have. So correct me if i'm wrong, but is there something going on between you and Josh?Something more than your usual flirting?"

Maya thought about the afternoons she spent across from Josh at the Cafe. She thought about hanging out at his dorm room and their road trip to New Jersey. She thought about crying onto his shoulder and talking on the phone in the middle of the night. She thought about waking up with his arms wrapped around her and their legs tangled together. She thought about his hands in her hair, and his lips on her own.

She took a deep breathe before speaking

" There's something there. I'm just not such what, at least not yet."


	31. Chapter 31

Someday Soon Chapter 31

 _Just a short little something today, more to come. Including the wedding :)_

Maya and Riley had finally gone back to sleep after their long middle of the night talk. Riley had tried to ply more information out of Maya about Josh but she hadn't given up much. There wasn't much that Maya deemed that Riley needed to know. Maya had disclosed that yes she and Josh had been hanging out more, and that yes Maya did still have feelings for him. Maya didn't want to get into the more intricate details about what had happened between her and Josh. Maya had leaned on Josh during some of the most difficult times of her life. Doing so had brought Josh and Maya together in a way that Maya hardly understood. She had let Josh see her in her most vulnerable state, and he had been there for her. He had gone with her to confront her father.

Maya had alluded to Riley that there was something going on with Josh. Nothing serious. Nothing that anyone could truly put a label on. But something, something that could grow into something more.

...

Riley and Maya were awoken the following morning by a sharp wrapping on the door. Maya groaned at the loud noise, pulling the blanket tighter around her. The knocking persisted.

"Riles, door." Maya grunted, nudging Riley. Riley had fallen asleep in Maya's bed the night before after they had stayed up talking. Riley didn't answer but rather stuffed a pillow over her head and tried to ignore her.

" Riley! Door" Maya complained, pulling her legs up in bed and using her feet to push against her friends back and force her out of bed.

"Ugh" Riley moaned as she was forced out of the bed and onto the floor.

"Finnne" she grumbled, trodding over to the hotel room door and pulling it open.

Josh was standing in the hallway looking impatient.

" were you guys still in bed? You're going to be late for breakfast." Josh stated appraising Riley in her pajamas and messy bed hair.

Riley however didn't seem to care about whatever Josh had to say. She was looking her uncle up and down and then glancing back at her best friend who was still in bed. Riley looked from Maya to Josh and from Josh to Maya knowingly. Josh narrowed his eyes at his niece, not understanding the depth of Riley's intense gaze. Maya jumped up from the bed and hurried over to the door and to where Josh and Riley stood.

"We'll be right down." Maya promised. Riley still had her gaze fixed on Josh with a knowing smirk as Maya hooked her arm around her best friends and pulled her back into the room shutting the door firmly behind them.

Riley switched her gaze to Maya the smirk still smeared across her face.

" Oh shut up and get dressed." Maya said moving past Riley and trying hard not to roll her eyes.

…

15 minutes later Maya and Riley were slipping into their seats at the table in the hotels restaurant. The hotel put of an elaborate buffet breakfast and maya's mouth had started to water the second she stepped into the room and caught the scent of the mixture of crisp bacon and warm maple syrup.

Maya and Riley loaded their plates high with fluffy white waffles,high mountains of crispy shredded hash browns, and anything else they could get their hands on.

Maya sat down next to Josh with Riley on her other side and began shoveling food into her mouth. She hadn't eaten anything since the snacks on the plane the night before. Suddenly her hunger had caught up with her and she felt as if she could clean out the whole buffet herself.

Everyone was talking animatedly about the rehearsal dinner and the wedding while Maya ate her breakfast without without saying a word.

" Are you breathing between bites?" Josh asked taking a sip of his coffee and watching her with an amused expression. Maya rolled her eyes at him and made a face at Josh, continuing to eat.

Once she had cleared her own plates Maya began to eye up the food of those around her. She could have just put in the effort herself and gotten another plate of food from the buffet but she was far too lazy to walk all the way across the room when all she wanted was a few more bites.

Without much hesitation Maya reached over to Josh's plate and stabbed her form through one of the breakfast sausages.

"Hey!" Josh exclaimed attempting to pull the sausage off Maya's fork with his own.

" Oh like you were going to eat it anyway." Maya fired back, digging her elbow into his ribs in an attempt to get him to back off. Josh pushed right back against her and the two were engaged in a playful shoving match.

" Oh for god sakes here." Riley said skewering one of her own sausages and placing it on Maya's plate.

" Now cut it out you're making me sick." Maya stuck her tongue out at her friend but gratefully accepted the food.

…

" What are you doing? Why aren't you dressed? We need to be downstairs in 10 minutes!" Riley exclaimed coming out of their bathroom in a huff, trying to get her earring designed.

Maya was lounging in her bed, her nose deep in a book and her hand in a page of chocolate covered pretzels she'd gotten at the store downstairs. Maya looked up at Riley who was looking at her impatiently.

" Correction. You miss junior bridesmaid have to be downstairs in ten minutes for the rehearsal. I, unimportant insignificant wedding guest do not have to be anywhere until dinner in three hours." Maya said smugly, leaning back against the headboard and watching as Riley furrowed her brow at her and then let out a huff.

"I just don't get how a 20 minute wedding ceremony can take 3 hours to rehearse." Maya mused as Riley hurried to pull on her shoes.

" It's my grandma's only daughter's wedding. She's a little obsessed with making everything perfect." Riley explained, finally getting her shoes on and then standing up to straighten her dress.

" Are you going to be okay here by yourself?" Riley asked as she headed for the door. Maya shot her friend a look.

" Right. Not a child. Be good." Riley said as a way of farewell and shut the door behind her.

….

Maya had finished her book and was considering taking a mid afternoon nap when she heard a knock on the door. She rolled off the bed, assuming that Riley needed something from the room and had forgotten her room key and went to open the door. Maya glanced through the peephole and was surprised at what she saw.

Maya pulled open the door to reveal Josh standing on the other side for the second time that day.

" Why aren't you at the rehearsal ?" Maya asked as a way of greeting.

" I'm not in the bridal party." Josh said simply moving into the room without invitation.

"Yes by all means come in." Maya said jokingly affronted, watching as Josh flopped down on the bed.

" Well we've got two and a half hours to kill." Josh said leaning back on his elbows.

"We?" Maya said questioningly.

" Oh come on don't make me hang out by myself. Everyone else is running around like a bunch of crazies dealing with this wedding."

Maya shrugged her shoulders.

" Don't leave me hanging." Josh reasoned. Maya shook her head at him before coming to sit down beside him.

" Fine."

Josh's face broke into a smile.

" Good, because i have just the thing to pass the time."


	32. Chapter 32

Someday Soon Chapter 32

" You have got to be kidding me." Maya spat crossing her arms and looking doubtedly at Josh.

The hotel where Morgan's wedding was taken place was located on a vast golf course, and at the moment Maya and Josh were standing by the club house in front of a line of pristine golf carts.

"You said you'd let me teach you how to drive!" Josh exclaimed, looking at her with a great amount of amusement on his face as he swung a pair of keys around his fingers. Maya shot him a scathing look, her mouth still slack in shock.

"Yeah, i meant in like ten or fifteen years when self driving cars have become the norm and i wouldn't have to really do anything! Not here." Maya said gesturing to the green around them.

"Not when we're surrounded by dozens of mid aged business men letting off steam. Not where we run the risk of getting beamed in the head by tiny flying white balls or driving into a small pond." Maya continued. Josh only rolled his eyes.

"It's a golf cart not a formula one car. You'll be fine." Josh reasoned. Maya crossed her arms defiantly, still not willing to give in. Josh gave her a look.

" Look I promise not to let you drive into a lake." Josh offered. Maya looked at him appraisingly for a moment before finally caving.

"Fine. But for your sake i hope your health insurance is up to date." She half joked, grabbing the keys from Josh's hand and heading for the driver's seat of the cart in front of them.

…..

Josh and Maya both shot back in their seats as the golf cart flew forward down the path and back towards the courses club house. They had been driving around the groomed paths of the course for over two hours, and while it had taken Maya a little while to get a handle on the pedals but once she'd mastered them her confidence in the skill was endless.

Maya was surprised how much she had enjoyed zipping around the course in the small cart. Growing up in New York City meant that maya had never had much interest in cars. She had always walked places or taken the subway, only getting in a cab or a car on the rarest of occasions. Maya had never really considered learning how to drive before Josh had brought it up over christmas.

"Easy on the gas there speedster." Josh said grasping the roof of the golf cart as the sped down the path. Maya rolled her eyes at him.

" We have 15 minutes to get to dinner." Maya shot back, the wind whipping through her hair as they went.

"Doesn't mean you have to run us off the road!" Josh shot back as they took a corner a little to sharply for his taste, although he couldn't hold back a laugh.

They came to a jarring halt in front of the club house making both of them fling forward.

"Jesus i don't think i knew a golf cart could go that fast." Josh said as they both climbed out of the small seats. Maya tossed the keys back to him as they headed for the club house. Josh snatched them out of the air as they continued forward.

" Are you good to walk?" Josh ask wrapping an arm around her waist as if to support her. Maya looked at him questioningly.

" With the lead foot i mean" Josh clarified with a snide smile. Maya pushed him away with a laugh.

" Oh shut up." She quipped jabbing an elbow into his ribs.

….

" ITS WEDDING DAY!" Riley shouted excited, jumping onto Maya's bed with a bounce. Maya grumbled as she rolled over in bed and tried to swat Riley away without opening her eyes.

" Come on get up! We're supposed to go up to Morgan's suite to help her get ready and try on the dresses and blah blah blah blah." Riley said bouncing on her knees and shaking Maya.

" Again, you bridesmaid, Me, nameless guest. You have to go up to the suite and i don't have to go anywhere except back to sleep." Maya stated pulling the covers more snugly around herself.

Riley let out a huff.

"Right. I forgot." Riley stated, falling backwards to lay beside Maya in bed.

" I know going anywhere without me attached to you hip seems wrong but she's your aunt kid. Better get going." Riley rolled her eyes but got up off the bed anyway.

" I don't know what i expected. I know you're only here for the food." Riley said jokingly. Maya sat up in bed and shrugged her shoulders.

"That and your hot uncle." Maya joked prompting Riley to unceremoniously smacked her in the face with a pillow.

…...

Maya and Shawn sat to the back of the group during the actual ceremony. They sat quietly while Morgan and her Fiance exchanged their vows and clapped enthusiastically as they were pronounced man and wife.

Following the ceremony everyone moved into the cocktail hour space to wait for the reception to begin. Shawn had wandered off to find Cory and Maya was busy eyeing up the passing platters of appetizers.

Soon Riley came shimming up to Maya two flutes of champagne in her hands and a glassy look already in her eye.

"Happy wedding!" Riley said excitedly passing Maya one of the glasses and then clicking it with her own. Riley took a long drink from her glass with a smack of her lips.

" Where did you get these?" Maya asked bringing the glass up to her lips and taking a small sip.

" Its cocktail hour!" Riley exclaimed as if it was obvious.

" Yes for those of legal drinking age." Maya stated watch with haf concern and half amusement as Riley downed the rest of her glass.

" Lighten up. It's a and lots of carefree fun" Riley stated signalling a waiter by shaking her empty glass at him.

" Who even are you right now?" Maya asked incredulously.

" I am a girl in need of a break. You know what i did this morning? Do you? No you don't but i'm going to tell you. This morning while my aunt, and my grandma, and my mom and all their friends sat in satin robe and and ate chocolate covered strawberries and talked about this amazing day and how wonderful love is, I sat in the bathroom and had 23 minute argument with Lucas. I don't even know what were were fighting about but we were fighting. So i turned my phone off. Honestly I don't even know where it is. Today i'm going to do what i want, and what i want right now is to drink champagne with my best friend and eat about 17 stuffed mushrooms. Okay?"

" Okay." Maya said a little too shocked to say anything else.

" Good. Now you need to finish that and get another drink, because i've had three glasses already." Riley said, linking Maya's arm through her own and steering her towards one of the many champagne buckets.

…

" So then i said to him, i said Kenny"

Maya was doing her best to drown out the sound of the obnoxious guy seated next to her at dinner. The boy was probably around her age, maybe a little older, and hadn't stopped speaking since the moment they'd sat down for dinner.

Maya was seated at a table with not a single person she knew. She was surrounded by a rag tag group of teenagers who were obviously the sons and daughters of actual guests who had been invited by association.

Shawn was seated up front with Cory and Riley and Josh were both with the family as well.

That left Maya to toil away by herself with the other teenage rejects. This wouldn't have been so bad if the boy sitting directly to her right hadn't been such a creep. Maya swore that there wasn't a single moment in the whole time that they had been sitting there that this boy hadn't been monopolizing the conversation in the most condescending tone possible, and the intense garlic breathe really wasn't making things any better.

To make matters worse his kind, she thought his name might be Benjamin or Braxton or something with a B, had spent a large portion of the night hitting on her. He continuously attempted to graze her foot with his own under the table, and more than one time she had had to push his hand off her leg. She had been steadily inching her chair away from him the whole night.

Maya was doing her best to enjoy her dinner. Her only ally at the table seemed to be a fourteen year old girl seated directly across from her who would shoot her the occasional sympathetic look. Maya had had a few more glasses of champagne that had been refilled without her having to be asked. Thank god these waiters didn't card. They seemed to assume that since she had the glass she had already had her ID checked. Maya wasn't complaining.

Maya spent a lot of dinner making eye contact with Riley and Josh across the room, sending them both pleading looks, or exasperated glances jerking her head to show her displeasure about those she was dining with. Once she had caught Josh's eye and mimicked shooting herself from under the table, causing Josh to choke on the bite he had just taken from laughter.

The final course of dinner had been served and the string orchestra and band that had been playing was warming up to play its last few formal songs before the real dancing started. People began to flood onto the dance floor and Maya noticed that Benjamin/braxton/ whatever his name was was eying her up once more. She knew what was coming next and she hurriedly tried to think of an excuse as to why she couldn't dance with him. Could she fake a knee injury? Or maybe a contagious illness? Or maybe she could just tell the truth and tell him that if she had to stand so close to him she'd likely pass out from his overwhelming BO.

Maya saw him open his mouth to ask her and she braced herself for the impact that luckily never came. Before the guy could get a word out there was someone standing between their two chairs blocking them from each other.

Josh reached his hand down to her.

"Do you want to dance?" He asked, smirking at her knowingly.

" God yes" Maya said gratefully, taking his hand and letting him lead her away from the table and towards the dance floor.


	33. Chapter 33

Someday Soon Chapter 33

AN: Editied in a new scene. Sorry for the re upload.

The band was in full swing by the time that Josh and Maya reached the dance floor. Josh pulled Maya close to him, taking one of her hands in his own and placing the other on her waist as they began to rotate in a slow circle.

"Thank you for saving me." Maya said gratefully, peaking a glance over her shoulder to the table she had just vacated and her now very grumpy and disgruntled dinner party.

"Oh were you having trouble over there?" Josh asked jokingly, smirking down at her.

" I really couldn't tell." he continued as she roll her eyes at him.

" Okay so maybe i've got a flare for the dramatics." Maya admitted looking up into his face.

" I'd say. You were one step away from spelling out SOS with the leftovers on your plate" Josh joked, making Maya laugh.

" Well it worked didn't it?" She said her own smirk spreading across her face.

"That it did." Josh admitted giving her hand a light squeeze.

…..

Maya and Josh danced several more songs together, some fast and a few slow. During an up tempo number he had spun her round so fast that she had had to close her eyes and cling to him for a few seconds afterwards in a fit of giggles as she waited for her dizziness to pass.

During a slower number she and Josh had been dancing together when over his shoulder Maya caught site of Shawn and Cory sitting at a table together across the room, watching the two of them.

Both were watching the two of them carefully as if examining them carefully to see what they would do next. Maya caught their eye and raised her eyebrows at them. She then jerked her head to the side as if to tell them to go get a life.

While they were dancing Maya began singing along quietly to music, a cover of ' have i told you lately that i love you'.

" There's a love that's devine and it's yours and it's mine" she whispered quietly, but just loud enough that only Josh could hear her.

"Why don't you sing more?" Josh asked quietly, looking down at her curiously.

"What?" Maya asked softly a little confused.

" You have a beautiful voice, but for all the time we spend together this is maybe the second time i've ever heard you sing." he continued still watching her carefully, his hand still on the small of her back as they danced. Maya shrugged.

" I don't know." She said as a way of explanation, looking down at their feet as they moved together making the same steps. But that wasn't true. The truth being that Maya did love to sing, but so had her mother. Katy would sing at every single opportunity. She could be standing in the kitchen, or sorting through mail, or doing anything really, and she would be singing. Katy would sing under her breathe as she got ready in the morning, or crank up the radio loud and sing at the top of her lungs whenever she wanted to let off steam. The house had never been quiet when Katy was home. Katys love of singing had rubbed off on her daughter. Therefore Maya loved to sing, but she didn't do it much anymore. Singing made her think of her mother, and would send a familiar pang of pain through her heart.

Still there were moments, like right there on the dance floor at Morgan's wedding, when Maya couldn't help herself. When she'd felt like she'd have to sing along to the music or the moment wouldn't feel real.

But Josh didn't seem to be accepting her answer. He was watching her carefully as if he knew that there was more to the story that she wasn't telling him about.

" Oh don't look at him with your shrink eyes." Maya shot at him.

" I'm not!" Josh defended although he knew he had been caught.

" Oh please. Just admit that you're just dying to break out one of your textbooks and tell me exactly how my reactions match this or that aspect of my psyche." Maya claimed making Josh flush as he smiled guiltily at her.

" I just like to hear you sing."

…

Another song came to an end and before the next could start Maya dropped her hand from Josh's shoulder and step away from him, although she still kept one of his hands clasped in hers.

" I should go check on Riley." Maya explained, pulling Josh behind her, their fingers tangled together. The two weaved through the crowd of dancers and well wishers, scanning the faces of those around them for Riley's familiar smile.

They eventually found her, slumped at a table, poking at her phone, a full glass of champagne still in her hand, but what appeared to be an empty bottle on the table next to her.

" I can't get this to turn on." Riley complained as they approached, holding out her dark screened phone to them. Her eyes were glassy and she slurred her words slightly as she spoke.

" What happened to carefree?" Maya asked as she took Riley's phone from her. Maya made no attempt to turn it on but rather thought it best to hold onto it as it was likely in Riley's current state that she might put it down and walk away without it.

"That's what the champagnes for. " Riley explained, raising the cup up as if to cheers to them. Her hand shook slightly as she did so causing a small amount of the liquid slosh over the edge of the glass.

"Maybe you've had enough." Josh suggested, taking the glass from Riley's hand and placing it on the table behind her.

" Don't be a buzz kill uncle Josh" Riley whined like an entitled pre teen. Josh shook his head at her with a smile before turning to speak to Maya.

" Why don't you stay with boozy, and i'll go find her some water?" Josh offered. Maya smiled gratefully at him and nodded.

Maya pulled a chair up next to Riley. They were both facing away from the table and out towards the dance floor. Maya reached backwards and picked up Riley's full champagne glass. Riley may have had too much to drink, but Maya had only had a few glasses, and she was looking to maintain her happy buzz.

"Where did my phone go?" Riley suddenly asked alarmed, lifting up the hem of her long pale pink bridesmaid dress as if her phone would be hiding under her skirt.

" Its right here." Maya said reassuringly. Riley reached out as if to take it but Maya didn't give in.

"Maybe i should just hold onto this for a while." She suggested. Riley didn't put up much of a fight and Maya placed the phone in her lap. She'd head back to the table and slip it into her small clutch as soon as Josh returned.

Suddenly a boy, who was not Josh, appeared before them. It was Maya's lovely dinner companion from earlier, taking advantage of the fact that Maya's dance partner was nowhere in sight.

"Dance with me." He demanded rather then asked, holding out his hand to Maya, which appeared to be rather sweaty. Maya thought fast on her feet. She put a sweet sympathetic smile on her face.

"Sorry i can't. My boyfriend just went to get us some drinks. He's going to be right back." Maya stated. The boys eyes flicked to the full glass of champagne in her hand, which Maya quickly brought to her lips and drained half the liquid.

" Boyfriend?" Riley asked in a groggy voice, slightly confused. Maya shot her a quick glare and muttered.

"Shut up." before turning back to the boy with a quick smile.

" This is his sister's wedding." Maya added as if to add validity to her story. The boy let out a huff clearly disgruntled and frustrated. He quickly regained his cool composure.

"What about her?" He said gesturing to Riley.

"She has a boyfriend too." Maya said quickly.

" Well i'm not asking her to marry me." he said affronted.

" Nevertheless. Can i interest either of you in a little…." his words faded off as he pulled out a steel flask from the inner pocket of his shirt jacket. Maya shook her head just as Riley got to her feet with an enthusiastic yes.

"Riles, maybe that isn't the best" But Riley immediately cut her off, pressing a finger to her lips and letting out a long, shhhhh sound.

" Carefree night remember?" Riley prompted before linking her arm through the boys.

" Your whole family is at this wedding. Do you really want to get drunk off your ass?" Maya said, getting to her feet.

" You're not my mother Maya." Riley said flipping her hair over her shoulder.

"Riley" Maya tried again reaching out to grab her friend's wrist, but Riley quickly snatched her hand back.

" Jesus. I'm just trying to have a little fun. Maybe you should try it."

And with that Riley let him lead her away. Maya let out a long sigh. Out of curiousity Maya powered on Riley phone. The screen lit up in front of her and was soon flooded with notifications.

There were several missed calls from Lucus. 2 voicemails. 8 texts. Maya felt her stomach flip and powered down the phone again. Riley didn't need to think about that tonight. Maya wanted Riley to have fun, but she really didn't think this was the right way to do it.

"Where'd she go?" Josh asked, reappearing with a glass of water intended for Riley.

" I'm not a very good babysitting." Maya admitted, placing down the now empty champagne glass and taking the water from Josh, who sat down beside her.

Just then Shawn walked by their table, carrying two pints of beer towards a table where Cory was waiting. Maya was suddenly extremely thankful that she had placed the empty champagne glass behind her. She raised the glass of water to cheers to him as he nodded approvingly at her.

Maya downed the rest of the water in her glass and then got to her feet. She smoothed her dress and then turned back to Josh.

"Second wind. Let's dance." she said, shimmying her shoulders and shaking out her hair. She could feel that glass of Champagne she had just downed.

"You're not tired out?" Josh asked jokingly while getting to his feet.

" I've got to work off all those stuffed mushrooms somehow." She joked, taking his hand and pulling him back towards the dance floor.

…..

Maya and Josh danced together for much of the remainder of the night. Every once and awhile Maya would glance around the room in search of Riley. Once she saw her sitting at a table not so subtly passing a flask back and forth with Benjamin/Braxton. Eventually the two moved onto the dance floor and danced sporadically in the way that only two increasingly drunk people could. Maya kept a close eye on them. She still tried to enjoy herself but Riley always lingered in the back of her mind. There was no harm in dancing right?

After several fast uptempo songs the band slowed and the first few notes of " the way you look tonight" filled the air.

Josh pulled Maya close to him, his hand in her own while his other placed on her back.

"They're playing all the wedding hits" Maya said a soft smile on her face.

" Morgan for all her faults is nothing if not a traditionalist." Josh reasoned.

" I'm not complaining." Maya said, the edges of her brain fuzzy from the champagne but her eyes still focused. Josh pulled her closer and she rested her head against his chest as they danced. In that moment she didn't care if Shawn and Cory were watching them. She didn't care that he was three years older or that there were countless people who thought a relationship between them would never work. Right then all that mattered was Josh's arms around her and the feeling of the champagne still coursing through her veins, and the soft music playing all around them. It was a perfect moment, and therefore it could not last forever.

The spell was broken when Maya heard the sound of Riley's shrill and loud giggle. Maya raised her head from Josh's chest and peered around them. She spotted Riley and the boy dancing several couples away from them across the dance floor. Riley was clearly very intoxicated, her hands wrapped around the guy's neck and his arms rested on her lower back, although they looked like they might be moving lower.

"Shit" Maya said under her breathe, letting her hand go slack on Josh's shoulder.

"What is it?' he asked, clearly confused.

" I have to go get her." Maya stated, directing Josh's gaze to Riley's direction. Maya wanted to let Riley make her own choices but she couldn't let this happen.

" I can't let her do this. She's mad at Lucus now, but if this happens she'll hate herself." Maya said hesitantly she let go of his hands and moved away.

"Do what?" Josh asked confused. Maya moved quickly through the crowd and she felt Josh on her heels.

"Riles it's time to go." Maya said softly but with as must authority she could muster. Riley looked up at her with a dazed and confused look on her face. Maya grabbed at Riley's arm in an attempt to pull her away from the guy, but as soon as Riley's arms were unlocks from around his neck it became clear that she wasn't prepared to stand on her own.

Riley stumbled and Maya hurried to catch her. She was a tiny girl but all her weight falling on Maya at once almost threw maya off her own balance. Within seconds Josh was there helping her support Riley's weight.

" I don't think she's ready to go yet." The boy said with a slur. Maya didn't even want to dignify him with a response. She just threw him a dirty look as she and Josh each wrapped one of Riley's arms around their neck and half carried half dragged her through the party and towards the exit.

Josh and Maya got Riley through the lobby and into the elevator. Riley seemed like she was going to lose consciousness a few times but she always came back after some prompting. Eventually they made it up to their floor and into Riley and Maya's shared room. Josh pulled back the covers of Riley's bed while Maya brought Riley into the bathroom, unzipped her bridesmaids dress and bullied her into an oversized t shirt.

With some help from Josh, Maya got Riley into bed.

" I'm sorry." Riley moaned trying to kick off the blankets they had just placed on her.

"Oh we know." Maya said trying to maintain her patience. Riley had been muttering apologies the whole way up to the room. Josh tried to place the blankets back on Riley.

"I saw you dancing." Riley said almost incoherently.

"You were having a moment." Riley said sadly.

"And i ruined it."

Maya looked up at Josh, meeting his eyes.

" Don't worry." She said softly, not looking away from Josh.

"There will be other moments."


	34. Chapter 34

Someday Soon Chapter 34:

Maya didn't sleep much the rest of the night. Maya and Josh had gotten Riley back to the room just past midnight. They'd wrangled her into bed and bid each other goodnight. Maya had changed out of her dress and into a pair of sweatpants. She'd washed her face, brushed her teeth, tied up her hair and climbed into her bed.

But she didn't sleep. She didn't even try. Maya sat cross legged on her bed, leaning against the headboard and watched Riley sleep. Riley tossed, turned, and moaned, sleeping the restless sleep of the absurdly drunk.

Maya and Riley had been drunk before. Riley had gotten out of hand before but this felt different to Maya. Tonight she felt like she had to stay up and make sure that Riley was still breathing right. Visions of Riley choking on her own vomit kept creeping into Maya's head. Flashes of Maya going to bed and waking up to find Riley dead of an overdose kept running into her mind. But that was ridiculous. Riley couldn't OD. She hadn't done any drugs. At least none that Maya had known about. But Riley wouldn't do that would she? Maya cursed herself for not watching her closer. Maya had been caught up in her own champagne frenze.

So she stayed awake. She'd googled signs of alcohol poisoning, and poked at Riley every once and awhile to make sure she was responsive. Maya made a cup of instant coffee from the small station on top of the mini fridge and sat at a chair by the window to watch the sun rise over the golf course.

A few hours later Maya heard Riley begin to stir. She got up to her chair, walked over to Riley's bed and peered over her. Riley let out a slight groan. Riley brought up an arm to cover her eyes.

"Close the drapes" Riley pleaded in a groggy hoarse voice. Maya quickly headed back to the window and pulled the curtains closed, blocking out the early morning sun, although a small sliver still peaked through. Maya walked back to her friend and sat down beside her on the bed.

"How do you feel?" Maya asked, watching her carefully. It was probably a stupid was silent for a few seconds.

" I don't know" Riley answered, trying to clear her throat. That wasn't the answer Maya had expected.

"Are you still drunk?" Maya asked. Riley considered.

"Possibly." Riley stated. She tried to sit but but immediately recoiled back into bed, clearly hit with a wave of either nausea or dizziness.

" but not for much longer." Riley whimpered.

Maya grabbed the glass of water on the bedside table and forced it into Riley's hand.

"Drink this." Maya commanded. Riley took the glass and did her bed to get the liquid down. Her face soured as she began to drink.

"My mouth tastes awful." Riley complained handing the glass back to Maya.

" I'm not surprised." Riley leaned back into the pillows. It was silent for a while before Maya spoke again.

" I'm sorry Riles." she said with a sense of shame in her voice. Riley looked at her confused.

" you're sorry?" Riley asked in an incredulous tone.

"Yeah i shouldn't have let you go off with that guy or do more shots or.." but Riley cut her off.

" That's not fault. There was nothing you or anyone could have said to stop me. And if my booze covered memories serve me right you did try and stop me, and i think i told you to back off because you aren't my mommy so…"

"But still-" Maya tried to interject but Riley continued.

"Look i said i wanted to have a fun night, and up until the part where i couldn't see straight i did have fun. Right now-" Riley said bringing a hand to her head which had started throbbing.

"Is not so fun.

" I still feel bad." Maya said.

" Hey when i was really out of hand you stopped me."

"But"

" and besides i need to learn to stand on my own two feet. What happens next year when i'm in New Jersey, and you're not there to have my back?" Maya almost let out a laugh.

" You'll need to keep it together, because i'm really not looking to make unnecessary trips to pennsylvania." Riley rolled her eyes at her.

"What's wrong with penn?" Riley shot back. A picture of Kermit flashed through Maya's mind but she quickly shook the thought away.

" I'm a new yorker, and there no better place." Riley cracked a smile.

" I have to say you're amazingly coherent right now. I wasn't expecting that." Maya admitted. Riley shrugged her shoulders.

"Maybe i just have a really high tolerance." Riley stated, speaking as tried once again to sit up. But as she did so a sharp change came over her. Riley's face went white and a greenish tint came over her.

"Oh god." Riley muttered her stomach beginning to churn. Riley moved as quickly as she could in her current state out of bed and towards the bathroom, clearly about to be sick.

Maya felt the colour drain from her own face. She had to get out of there. Now. Maya moved double the speed that Riley had, dashing in the opposite direction towards the door to the hotel room that lead to the hallway. Maya slammed the door behind her and leaned over, her hands on her knees, breathing hard and trying to calm herself down.

"Are you alright?" A voice asked. Maya looked up to see Josh headed towards her from down the hallway, a bottle of gatorade in his hand and a plate of dry toast.

"Riley is throwing up." Maya wheezed, still trying to calm her breathing.

"And when i hear someone vomit, i want to vomit." she explained, straightening up but clutching her stomach.

" Is she that bad?" Josh inquired. Maya shrugged.

"She was fine, until she wasn't" Maya explained.

" I grabbed some toast for her. Something to soak up the alcohol. " he explained.

"She'll need it." Maya expressed, nodding her head towards the door to the room.

"Does anyone expect anything?" Maya asked, referring to the rest of the family. Josh shook his head.

" Hard to tell, but everyone else is pretty much in the same shape that she is this morning."

Maya shook her head.

" Guess it was quite the party."

Josh opened the room door and slipped inside.

"Is it all clear?" Maya asked, peering around the door to sneak a peek into the room. Josh poked his head back out.

" You might want to wait in the hallway for a while." He whispered and ducked back into the room.

….

" Put these on." Maya said, holding out a pair of sunglasses to Riley. It was nearing their 11 o'clock check out time and everyone was getting ready to meet in the lobby and head out to the airport.

Riley took the sunglasses and slide them onto her face. Riley's hair was in a messy bun and her skin still had a greyish tinge to it. She hadn't been sick in the past few hours but Riley still looked and felt like the living dead.

Maya had forced her to take a shower but that hadn't helped much. Maya just hoped that all the adults were too hungover themselves to notice that Riley was sporting a first rate hangover.

" Can you still smell it on me?" Riley asked. She had brushed her teeth several times and changed into fresh clothes but there was still an overall booze scent to Riley.

" There isn't much else we can do about that. I think there's vodka seeping out of your pores." Maya said only half jokingly.

" It was tequila." Riley corrected, causing Maya to roll her eyes.

" Alright boozer let's go." Maya commanded, taking both of their duffel bags and opening the door for Riley to walk through first. This was bound to be a fun plane ride.

….

Maya had slipped off to sleep on the short plane journey back up to New York from Georgia. Wasn't one to usually fall asleep in the middle of the day but seeing as she hadn't slept at all the night before she nodded off quickly to sleep. Maya had been sitting in the middle seat again, between Riley and Josh and while Riley nodded off on Maya's shoulder, Maya ended up accidentally leaning on Josh.

She only came to when the flight attendants came around and prepared the cabin for landing. Maya lifted her head off Josh's shoulder. Riley sat back up in her seat as well. She had left a small spot of dried saliva on Maya's sweatshirt.

"Oh god tell me i didn't drool." Maya whispered, her eyes flashing down to where her head had rested on Josh's shoulder.

" Only a little." Josh joked, causing Maya to swat at his chest.

After a painfully long cab ride they ended up back at the apartment building.

"I've got to get going." Josh said, hiking his back up higher on his shoulders.

" But i'll see you all at my graduation next week?" Josh asked the group, although his eyes lingered on Maya.

Everyone nodded or voiced words of agreement.

"See you then." Maya said, not breaking eye contact with Josh.


	35. Chapter 35

Someday Soon Chapter 35

Riley hadn't stuck around chatting like everyone else had after getting home from the airport. While everyone gathered in the Matthews living room, and Cory put on a kettle for tea, Riley walked back into her bedroom without a word.

Maya wasn't sure if Riley was headed back to bed or about to throw up the small packet of peanuts she'd eaten on the flight back. Usually after Maya and Riley had been to a party their hangovers would have dissipated by the afternoon, however Riley still seemed to be feeling the full affect.

Everyone sat down on the couches and chair and gratefully accepted their cups of tea, grateful for the chance to relax after a long day of travel.

" So Maya" Topanga began while warming her hands on her mug of tea.

" exactly how hungover is my daughter right now?"

Maya sputtered into her tea before looking up to meet Topanga's mostly amused but slightly disapproving face. Maya should have known there was no real chance that Riley was going to get away with her actions at the wedding unnoticed. She had acted far too sporadically, and had been way too much a mess during the travel home to go unnoticed. Despite the fact that everyone had been feeling the repercussions of the party the night before, none of them were so hungover as to not notice that Riley was rocking a first rate hangover.

" I'm not at liberty to say." Maya said looking down at her tea cup and avoiding all the adults in the rooms eye.

….

It was a few hours later and Maya was up in her room. She should be trying to sleep. She had school in the morning and it had been a long and eventful weekend. Still she was sitting up in bed trying to finish the book she had been reading for the last two days. These days there wasn't much point in her trying to get to sleep until well after midnight.

Maya started at the sound of a sharp and persistent tapping at her bedroom window. She looked up to see Riley struggling to get the window open. Maya rushed over to the window and unlatched the lock. Before Maya could even say anything Riley was was talking a mile a minute.

" I lost my phone. I can't believe i lost my phone. I haven't used it all day! I slept the whole plane ride and i don't remember the last time i had it. Oh my god i've lost it. I just woke up and rolled over in bed and my headache is finally gone and i was thinking about how quiet and peaceful my room is and then i realized it was so quiet before my phone wasn't there! I haven't talked to lucas is days. We fought before the wedding and then i turned my phone off and now i've lost it. Now he thinks i've been ignoring him which is just going to make this so much worse and- are you even listening to me?" Riley said exasperated as she heaved in heavy breathe, very worked up.

Maya had indeed turned away while Riley was talking and began to dig through her bag from the weekend which she hadn't unpacked yet. Maya found what she had been looking for and straightened up.

" You didn't lose your phone. I took it from you at the wedding so it didn't end up in a toilet somewhere. I'm sorry i forgot i had it." Maya said apologetically passing it to Riley.

"Oh thank god." Riley gasped, clutching the phone to her chest like a long lost treasure.

Riley powered the phone on, and her face dropped at all the notifications on the screen.

" Oh god he's going to be so pissed." Riley muttered under her breath.

" It's not going to be as bad as you think. I texted him when you started to go over the deep end last night. Said your parents took your phone for the weekend because you weren't being present to make lasting family memories." Maya explained. Riley let out a sigh of relief.

" God bless you. 4 voice mails. I don't even want to think about listening to them." Riley stated, walking over and flouncing down on Maya's bed.

" I might be overstepping my boundaries here but.." Riley's head snapped up at Maya's words.

"What?" she pressed so Maya would go on.

" It's just that having the same fight over and over again isn't getting you guys anywhere, maybe you guys should take a break."

Riley's eyes got wide with shock causing Maya to rush on.

" I'm not saying you should break up!" Maya defended.

" but if you took a week. If you didn't keep having the same argument every day twice a day then maybe you should both get a different perspective." Maya suggested, Riley was staring down at her phone the screen blank.

"It was kind of nice not having an argument with anyone today. Despite the killer hangover it was kind of peaceful." Riley admitted.

"Maybe it's worth a try."

….

"Is there no air conditioning in here?" Riley asked, fanning herself with the graduation program that had been passed out.

"You're fine." Maya promised. Riley had a bit of a glare for the dramatics as of lately. Riley had left her phone at home in an effort to pay attention during her Uncle's graduation ceremony, but had been fidgeting around the whole time.

Riley seemed to have phone separation anxiety and was acting out in odd ways. Riley and Lucas were " on a break" although neither of them was calling it such. They were just " taking some time" or " giving each other space" for a few days. Still Riley could almost always be found checking her phone every few minutes.

" How much longer do you think this is going to take?" Riley asked a hint of a whine in her voice.

" Pumpkin. It hasn't even started yet." Maya said sympathetically although there was a tinge of annoyance in her voice. Auggie was still a kid and was exercising more patience than his 18 year old sister.

The stands were crowded with friends and family members of the NYU graduates. Maya, Riley, and the other matthews were all sat in a row waited for Josh's name to be called and for him to walk across the stage and receive his diploma.

" You can hold my phone if that'll make you feel better." Maya said, tossing her own phone into Riley's lap.

…

Hours later everyone was gathered in the Cafe as a makeshift celebration for Josh's graduation. Amy and Alan had driven up from Philadelphia for the occasion. The two were clearly tuckered out from Morgan's wedding the weekend before and were surely praying that there would be no more major family events for the next few months so they had a chance to relax.

"How did the apartment hunting go?" Cory asked. Alan and Josh had spent much of the week scoping out possible places for him to rent for the next year. Josh hadn't wanted to move into Columbia housing and had decided it was a better decision for him to move into an apartment, which was no easy feat in New York City.

" I think we locked into a place up on avenue a." Josh stated.

"And it'll only cost a third of a kidney." Alan commented.

"Better get to work than Barista." Maya joked, shaking her empty coffee cup at him. Josh shook his head at her.

…

After hanging around for the cafe for a few hours everyone gathered together their things and got ready to head out to dinner.

Maya and Josh were following everyone out the door.

" By the way" Josh began as he pulled open the cafe door for her.

" I need a favour, and i'm ready to cash in on that bet."


	36. Chapter 36

Someday Soon Chapter 26

"This isn't fair." Maya complained leaning back on the only slightly lumpy couch that Josh had got second hand.

" A bet's a bet." Josh stated straightening the stacks of papers in front of him. Maya rolled her eyes at him.

" So because you bet that i'd do well on a test, i now have to take another test?" Maya questioned, tapping her fingers against her knee in annoyance.

"Yes that's right." Josh said with a smirk.

Josh had decided to cash in on the bet, and Maya's punishment was having to participate in one of the exercises from a course Josh was taking through Columbia over the summer. Josh was working to become certified to administer psychological tests for students. He'd be starting an internship with one of the New York School districts as part of his graduate work, and in order to do so he needed his certification. Part of Josh's course was to administer a basic learning and psychological assessment test. While the test was deemed to be "basic" it also took upwards of two hours to complete, and Josh needed at least three participants. He had already roped Auggie into doing it, and his mom had been more than happy to participate, but he had needed someone in the young adult age bracket. He could have asked Riley for her help, but had liked this alternative more.

Maya pouted, although she wasn't really angry.

" You only won on a technicality." Maya pointed out, still trying to wriggle out of her end of the bargain. Josh gave her a pointed look. Then she let out a long sigh.

" I guess it's just a few extra hours of therapy." She joked. She pulled up her legs onto the couch beneath her and attempted to make herself comfortable.

" Alright shrink .Bring it on."

…

The afternoon passed by while Josh and Maya sat in the tiny living space of Josh's new apartment. While they sat on the couch, Josh asking questions or getting her to fill out questionnaires, the sky outside opened up and rain began to pour down from the clouds in buckets. Despite it being early May and well into spring, the past few days had brought dark grey skys. There was clearly a storm brewing, although every weather channel seemed to have a different opinion about when exactly the storm would hit.

It wasn't perfect timing for Maya. Shawn was out of town on business for the whole week, writing a piece about the coast of Nova Scotia. While Maya didn't mind staying home alone, she wasn't exactly crazy about storms. She was old enough to know that there was no way that thunder could hurt her, in fact for many years storms hadn't bothered her at all. As a little girl she had shaken with fear during a passing storm, but her mother had always been there to calm her down and comfort her. However since Katys desk Maya had become jumpy during storms. Her anxiety would get the best of her and while the storm raged on outside she could often be found curled into a ball expecting her heart to stop any moment.

She could handle a storm if she really put her mind to it. There had only been one major storm since her mother's death. Maya had slept through smaller bursts of thunder throughout the year, but one night the previous september there had been a massive storm passing over the city. It had began just after midnight, and Maya had still been awake. At the first crack of thunder Maya had felt her heart fly into her throat. After a few strikes of thunder Maya had worked herself up into a panic.

Without thinking she had ventured out of her room and without thinking had gone straight to Shawn's room. She knocked feverishly at his bedroom door, pounding on it until a sleepy Shawn emerged in front of her. While he had been half asleep he had quickly sprung into action when he saw the look of distress on her face. He'd sat up with her until the storm had passed. They had sat on the couch and drank giant mugs of tea, and Shawn had talked near constantly to distract her. He didn't make fun of her for being afraid of storms at her age, although he definitely could have. He just talked to her, and while Maya had still felt the ache of panic in her chest, he had made her feel like she would be okay.

Maya had been nervous that the storm would hit while Shawn was out of town, so she had been staying with Riley while he was out of town, just in case the storm arrived unexpectedly.

But it was only raining outside, no need for Maya to worry about a storm, at least not yet.

She was however beginning to get ancy due to sitting still for so long. She had participated in the exercises wholeheartedly for at least the first hour as she had wanted to help Josh do his best, however she was starting to grow tired of the whole ordeal.

"And what does this one look like?" Josh prompted, holding up a picture of an abstract blotted image.

"A butterfly." Maya deadpanned, although she had barely glanced up at the paper and was more focused on picking at a loose thread on her sweater. Josh sighed.

" You've said that about the last six cards." Maya shrugged.

" They all looked like butterflies." She said simply. Josh shook his head at her.

"Maybe we should take a break." Maya suggested for what seemed like the hundredth time that hour.

" We just took a break 20 minutes ago." Josh reasoned but Maya persisted.

" That's true. But this test is supposed to be assessing about how well i learn and how stable i am psychologically. Well i learn best with minimal information and frequent breaks and i'm most sane while eating a danish from the bakery down the street."

Josh shook his head again.

" We're over halfway done, and when we're finished i promise you can have the chinese food i have in the fridge."

Maya's eye lit up and her jaw went slightly slack.

" You ordered chinese food?" Maya asked excitedly.

" Before you came over. It'll be your reward if you behave." This time it was Maya's turn to shake her head.

" Fine. The cards a tractor. The first one was tree, then a flower, a house, a vase, an armchair, but the sixth one actually was butterfly."

"Thank you." Josh said, taking note of her real answers.

Josh administered the rest of the tests. He was measuring if Maya retained information better visually or audibly, and several other psychological exercises to assess her mental readiness for learning and coping in a school environment. Maya was doing her best to participate, but in reality all she could think about was the lo mein and ginger beef that was waiting for her in the kitchen.

"Final question." Josh said, straightening his notes.

" Thank god." Maya muttered.

"Kungpow chicken or sweet and sour pork?" he asked with a smirk. Maya let out a sigh of belief.

"Both."

…..

" Your chopstick technique is pathetic." Maya teased. She and josh were both back sitting on his couch, this time with heaping bowls of chinese take out.

" Oh like you're much better." Josh shot back as he did his best to navigate his piece of chicken into his mouth. Maya rolled her eyes at him. Both could use their chopsticks well enough but it wasn't unusual for there to be a slip up. A vegetable would slip or someone would give up and merely stab a piece of meat rather than try to pick it up.

While the two enjoyed their late lunch rain began to pour down harder and harder outside the window. Clouds had filled up the sky to the point where almost no light could shine through. It looked more like the middle of the night then the middle of the afternoon. But neither Josh nor Maya were paying much attention to the sky.

Then maya felt her phone ring in her pocket. She pulled it out and saw that Shawn was calling her. This wasn't unexpected. He usually called at least once a day when he was on the road. Maya slide her finger across the screen to answer the call and lifted the phone to her head.

" Hello?" Maya said pleasantly.

" Maya?" the panic in his voice had caught her off guard.

"What is it?" She asked, fear flooding through her chest. What had happened? What was wrong?

" Are you at home?" Shawn rushed on.

" No. I'm at Joshs." She said quickly. She could feel Josh's concerned gaze on her face but she couldn't look at him.

" Okay good. Stay where you are. Don't move." This wouldn't have been Shawn's usual response to hearing at Maya was hanging out with Josh. Shawn liked Josh fine but he was always cautious about Josh's relationship with Maya.

"Whats wrong?" Maya pressed on feeling the anxiety rising in her chest.

"They've just issued an emergency storm warning over the city. You need to stay inside and away from windows until it passes." Shawn explained. Just as Shawn spoke a clap of thunder shook through the apartment and the lights flickered off.


	37. Chapter 37

Someday Soon Chapter 37

( Sorry i haven't updated in a long time! The lead up to Christmas is always a busy time and then i was rather sick. Yikes! Thank you to everyone who has been reading and reviewing this story! Its really means a lot. Thank you for your patience and i hope you enjoy!)

Maya jumped as the lights flickered off and the windows of Josh's apartment shook from the vibrations of the thunder. She felt her whole seize up with tension. She dug her nails into the skin of her hand trying to keep calm. Shawn was speaking rapidly now. He knew about Maya's issues with storms and was doing his best to reassure her while their phone connection still remained strong. He told her that she would be fine and that hopefully the storm would pass over new york quickly. He reminded her of calming techniques her therapist had recommended for times such as these. Maya nodded along to what he was saying, trying to focus on her breathing.

Josh had risen up from beside her on the couch and had moved over to the window. Josh busied himself making sure all the windows were latched properly. His land lord had warned him that the windows often popped open in heavy wind if they had not been firmly secured.

Maya's phone call with Shawn was beginning to crackle as their phone service worsened.

" I love you. Everything will be fine Okay?" Shawn said his voice steady, but before Maya could answer the line went dead.

Maya's hand dropped back to her lap as the screen of her phone went dark. She needed to stay calm. _Its no big deal,_ She told herself. _It's just a storm._

Josh dropped back down on the couch beside her.

" I hadn't even noticed the rain." Josh commented, staring out the window as the rain continued to pour down and another crack of thunder sounded as the sky was lit up with a bolt of lightning. It had been raining so much over the past few days that it had kind of faded into the background. Maya didn't have a response. She just sat there quietly, digging her fingers even deeper into her palms. The pain was sharp and Maya knew that if she wasn't careful she would break a nail or even draw blood.

" So i guess that's a no to the movie then." Josh said referring to the plans they had made earlier head to a nearby theatre and see a recently released movie.

" I guess so." Maya said meekly, leaning back into the lumpy pillows of Josh's couch and trying to keep her breathing even.

Maya's eyes began to adjust to the darkness. The details of Josh's apartment becoming more clear. Every few minutes the room was lit up with the light produced from the lightning, but other than that the room was dark.

" I haven't even got any candles." Josh said, remembering his mother's list of everything he needed to obtain for his new place. A storm readiness kit had been included. The list was tacked up on Josh's fridge but he had yet to make a dent in it.

"What a shock." Maya said jokingly, trying to keep her voice steady.

" A 21 year old boy doesn't have any candles in his crash out apartment."

Josh smirked at her as he began to dig through the drawers of his kitchen, in search of a flashlight, a lighter or even a box of matches. Josh wasn't stressed out about the storm in the slightest. He was sure it would pass sometime during the night and nothing would come of it. Still, when the lights went out it was still his instinct to find some sort of tangible light source. Just in case. There was always the flashlight on his phone but he was doing his best not to drain the battery, again just in case.

" Ahha!" Josh said triumphantly, his hand emerging from one of the drawers clutching a dingy yellow flashlight that was so small that if he made a fist the flashlight would disappear, completely enveloped in his hand.

"Victory" Josh claimed, walking over to where Maya sat on the couch, as he fiddled with the on and off switch of the small flashlight. It would be just his luck if the stupid thing wouldn't even turn on. But thankfully after a few more seconds of messing with it the end lite up with a weak beam of light.

" You're a miracle worker" Maya said, her voice just above a whisper. She was afraid that if she spoke at a normal volume it would become much more clear that she was boarding on the verge of tears. The rain was getting harder and harder and Maya could hardly hear herself think, let alone hear josh talk over the sound of the near constant thunder. Maya cleared her throat as she stood up from the couch. Maya raised her voice above a whisper so Josh could really hear her over the storm.

" I'm going to go call Riley. Hudsons home alone and he's not a big fan of thunder" She stated, making up the excuse. In all reality Hudson was half deaf and could could sleep through nearly anything. Maya could picture him at home, nuzzled into a pile of blankets on the couch in the living room, blissfully unaware of the storm raging outside.

Maya didn't wait for Josh's answer, but rather walked the few steps across the small room and pulled open the door to the tiny bathroom. The bathroom was so small Maya could stretch out both her arms and put both her palms flat against the bathroom walls, no matter what direction she was facing. A sink, toilet and small stall shower was crammed into the small space. Everything was clean but a little run down. It was an older apartment, and while it was well kept up it was showing its age more and more. Still it was the only room in the apartment without a window. It was small, and cramped, and smelled slightly of mildew but to Maya it almost felt safe. Her phone shook in her hands as she held it, staring down at the blank screen. She really should call Riely. Hudson may not be afraid of the storm but he would need someone to feed him and refill his water bowl. Maya knew that the Matthews would have no problem letting the little dog spend the night at their apartment while Maya was trapped in Alphabet city.

Another clap of thunder shook the apartment and Maya felt her knees go weak. She wrapped her arms tightly around herself. She thought of how people bought their skittish dogs with storm anxiety thunder jackets, which her basically just compression blankets. Maybe that's what Maya needed. Pressure against her skin. At this point she would be willing to let herself be trapped between a giant china cabinet and a wall if it meant that the knot of anxiety in her chest would begin to ease.

Maya was still staring at her phone. She needed to call Riley, or at least text her, but all she really wanted to do was talk to Shawn again. His phone didn't even ring when she tried to call it. She wondered what the storm was like up the coast further. She hoped he was okay. She was sure that he was, but she still just wanted to hear his voice again. He knew how to calm her down.

Maya put her hand on the door knob to the bathroom. She took a deep breath trying to make herself as calm as possible. She turned the doorknob and tried to push open the bathroom door, but halfway she met resistance. Maya shimmied her way out of the crack of the door that she had gotten open. She saw what had been obstructing the door from opening. The tiny living room was now bursting at the seams as a red faced Josh was maneuvering the mattress from his bedroom into the space between the couch and the opposite wall.

"What are you doing?" Maya asked almost wanting to laugh, raising her voice so he could hear her over the rain.

" The better question-" Josh said, pulling the pillows off the couch and attempting to stand them up,

" Is what is a stormy day without a fort?"


	38. Chapter 38

Someday Soon Chapter 38

Josh froze with two of the couch pillows in his hand and looked up at maya, squinting through the darkness.

" Is this dumb?" He asked suddenly unsure of himself, his arms going slack as the pillows came to rest against his legs.

" No!" Maya reassured him stepping forward and inching around the mattress and appraising the work Josh had done so far.

" But you're setting up the couch cushions all wrong." Maya pointed out, reaching out and taking the the sofa pillows out of Josh's hands.

…

After nearly forty minutes of arguing about the proper arrangement of pillows and what the best way to drape sheets was Maya and Josh were finally inside of their makeshift fort. Maya had had to make sure that Josh didn't notice her hands shaking as they put together the fort. The storm had been raging on as they put together their tent. While Maya felt as nervous as ever it did help her to have some sort of distraction. Trying to figure out the perfect angle to stand up the couch cushions had helped to keep her mind off the fact that her heart was pounding a million miles a minute.

Josh and Maya crawled into their pillow fort and got settled in. Josh had booted up his laptop and was running it off its battery. Josh had a small stash of DVDs and had selected one of the least cringe worthy ones for them to watch.

They hadn't wanted to open the fridge with the power out so they had brought in boxes of crackers or bags of chips to snack on while they waited out the storm.

The afternoon slipped away into night as the storm continued to rage outside the window. Every so often the whole room would light up from a strike of lighting outside the window.

Maya attempted to maintain her composure but the age of Josh's building wasn't helping. The windows were thin and shook in their setting as the thunder rumbled. Josh's constant chattering was at least somewhat helping. It was something else for Maya to listen to besides the rumble of the thunder in the sky.

She really was trying her best to conceal her distress from Josh. She knew that if she let him know what was happening he would be more than understanding and would surely offer her some sort of comfort, but she didn't want him to have to. Maya had fallen apart in front of Josh far too many times. It seemed that in the past year he had seen her go to pieces more than anyone else. He'd watched he stand on the edge, her toes hanging off the side and on more than one occasion he had had to pull her back from the breaking point. She doubted that it made Josh think any less of her, but every time she began to unravel in front of him she couldn't help but feel like eventually he would see her as nothing more than a fragile porcelain doll that needed to be handled with great care in case it cracked.

But for all her effort Maya couldn't hide her nervous state forever. It was nearly 11 o'clock now and the storm still hadn't let up. Josh and Maya had made their way through a few of the DVDs and had been snacking on the chips they had brought into their tent. It was when Maya was reaching across the small space to reach for another blanket, then Josh noticed that her hand was shaking.

He caught her wrist in his hand, trying to stop it from shaking.

"Hey are you all good?" He asked, watching her carefully. He knew better then to ask if she was okay. That wouldn't be the right word. Maya wouldn't met his eye.

" I just don't love storms." Maya said meekly, brushing her hair behind her ear as an almost nervous tick. At that moment a nearly perfectly timed clap of thunder rolled across the sky as the tiny apartment was light up with a violent strike of lighting. The light from the sky illuminated the strung up sheets of their pillow fort.

Maya jumped at the sound. The thunder had been raging on and off for hours but nearly every clap of thunder caught her off guard and caused her to start.

"Shit." Josh muttered, looking between Maya and the direction of the window.

" I didn't know. Should i do something or?" Josh faded off.

" You don't exactly control the weather so." Maya said in an attempt at the joke. She was shaking harder then ever now. Now that her secret was out and Josh knew about her phobia she couldn't conceal it any longer. In reality what would help most was if she went and barricaded herself in Josh's bathroom, but in reality that would probably be taking it a little too far.

Maya began shaking her hand infront of her as if they had been asleep and she was trying to wake them. Her body was vibrating and she needed some way to alleviate her anxiety. Her head fell into her hands.

" Its so dumb. I know that it's just weather and that nothing is going to happen but i still honestly feel like i might die right now. I got over my fear of thunder when i was 9 like most normal people, but it's back with a vengeance." Maya said, trying to make light of the situation but in reality she was still being serious.

"This is actually a really good opportunity for you to practice your shrink skills. We could discuss how all my repressed childhood fears are coming to the surface over time." Maya said still jokingly, but her voice slightly shaking.

Josh pulled her hands into both of his, looking at her seriously.

" You don't have to kid. It's okay to be scared." He reassured her. Maya had been biting down on the inside of her cheek, hard enough to draw blood.

" but i'm here and it's just a storm."

…

For any faults that people could find in him, Josh was good at distraction. Once he understood that Maya was having a rough time with the storm he made an effort to keep her engaged at every moment. They exchanged stories, and he also made sure to ask her questions to keep her talking. It got to the point where Josh and Maya were talking so much that Maya didn't jump or startle at every clap of thunder. She was slightly less tense, although not entirely comfortable. The whole time Josh was holding onto her hands. He ran his thumb over the soft skin of her hand as they spoke. He did so without thinking, as if it was just a natural progression.

Eventually both Maya and Josh's eyes began to grow weak and tired. The storm was still alive outside but sounded farther away although it was undoubtedly still circling overhead. From inside Josh's apartment and within the nest they had created Maya was able to relax just enough to go to sleep.

…..

Josh had to stop waking up like this, it was only going to get him into more trouble. There was plenty of room in the fort as its basis was the queen mattress from the bedroom, but Josh and Maya had still become tangled together in the night.

It was still raining when Josh woke up the next morning. He was unsure of what time it was but it was slightly lighter in the room then it had been before he fell asleep. Josh could still hear the sound of the heavy rain against the windows of his apartment but it appeared at some point in the night the thunder had died down. It was possible that the majority of the storm had moved along the coast, leaving New York to enjoy the remains of the rain in peace.

Josh could see through the sheet walls of the fort that the lamp on the side table was on, meaning that power that been restored at some point during the night. As glad as josh was that the power was back on, the worst of the storm was past, and that Maya wouldn't be stressed the rest of the day, he was kind of sad it was over for very selfish reasons. If the storm was past than Maya would most likely be heading home. As soon as Maya had began to unwind slightly during the storm the evening they spent in their fort together had been quite enjoyable.

So for now Josh just had to hope that Maya didn't wake up.


	39. Chapter 39

Someday Soon Chapter 39

Maya had woken up multiple times during the night. A sudden clap of thunder or a bright flash of lightning would shake her out of her restless sleep. She would wake with a start, her heart pounding and a pang of her anxiety in her chest. Despite being woken so often from the storm Maya was always able to fall quickly back to sleep. This shouldn't be the case. Maya had been surprised that she had fallen asleep at all in the first place. Maya didn't sleep well on the best of times and storms didn't exactly put her at ease yet that despite waking up multiple times during the night Maya had almost slept soundly. The equalizer of the situation seemed to be Josh.

The first Maya had woken up the clap of thunder was still vibrating through the sky. The thin glass of Josh's apartment windows were shaking with the force of the wind. Maya's heart was beating out of her chest as the storm raged around her, but surprisingly her anxiety towards the stormed lessened as she felt a pair of arms tense around her. Josh was shifting in his sleep and in doing so pulled her closer to him.

Maya vaguely remembered falling asleep with Josh holding her hands, but some time during the night they had shifted together. Josh's arms were wrapped around her. They were both laying on their sides. Josh was behind her and Maya was tucked into his embrace. At some point they had shifted together to the point that they were both sharing the same pillow.

While Maya woke up in a panic her nerves could be quickly settled by the compression of having Josh's arms wrapped around her and the feeling of his warm breath on the back on her neck. In the fleeting moments of wakefulness in the night Maya thought again of skittish dogs and thunder jackets. The compression and comfort of having something wrapped around her and making her feel secure.

…..

When Maya woke up for the final time, she realized it was morning. She hadn't opened her eyes but she could sense that it was lighter in the room. Maya was sure that it was morning, but she refused to open her eyes. The reason being, she didn't want the moment she was in to end. The majority of the storm had passed and all that was left was the rain. Maya could hear the sound of the rain against the window and the sound was almost enough to lull her back to sleep. Maya wasn't sure if she had ever been more comfortable in her whole life. Josh's mattress, despite being without box spring and just tossed haphazardly on the floor was just the right level of soft and firm. There were mountains of blankets and pillows piled around her. The combination of the rain and the warm bed she was curled into almost made it the perfect morning. But that wasn't the reason Maya wasn't opening her eyes. If Maya opened her eyes the spell she and Josh were swept up in would end. The thing was that Maya and Josh were still tangled up together. Josh was laying on his back and Maya had curled herself into him. Her arm was draped across his stomach and her head was rested against his chest. Maya could hear Josh's steady heart beat as she laid there still pretending to be asleep. Josh's arm was wrapped protectively around her. Maya could tell that he was awake too based on the fact that he was tracing slow circles on the bare skin of her lower back where her shirt had ridden up during the night. Maya could feel that Josh was relaxed and at ease in that moment, but she knew that as soon as she let on that she was awake that Josh would remember himself. Maya knew what would happen when she "woke up" for real. They would pull apart from each other and act like nothing was going on. They would dismantle their fort and watch the rain while drinking the bad instant coffee Josh had in his apartment. If they rain let up they would go get bagels or breakfast somewhere and then Maya would finally head home. It would be a normal morning shared between friends, and Maya was fine with that. But she still wanted to moment they were in to last a little longer.

In that moment there was no age between them. There was no long game to be played and no someday to wonder about. Their wasn't a countdown to graduation or a timeline to follow. He was just Josh and she was just Maya. She just wanted him to hold her a little longer. She wanted to lay in their warm bed and listen to his heartbeat and the sound of the rain against the window mingling together. If it was possible, Maya would pause time and live in that moment for awhile, not forever, but a while. Despite the anxiety of the night before Maya felt genuinely happy and content for the first time in longer then she would like to admit.

But perfect couldn't last forever, and Maya had to open her eyes.

….

It was late afternoon by the time that Maya made it back to her apartment. The morning had gone almost exactly how many had predicted it. She had fanned sleep for as long as possible, enjoying the feeling of Josh's hand on her bare skin and the feeling of his chest rising and falling under her cheek.

They had cleaned up the apartment and watched the rain. Josh hadn't mentioned Maya's panic from the night before and Maya was grateful for her it. Josh was understanding of her and while he was on his way to have the proper training to deal with them, he got that Maya wanted to leave it alone. There was nothing for her to be ashamed of, but Maya was still meek on the subject. Maya didn't like to admit or show her weaknesses, but on many occasions they did shine through.

Maya and Josh had splashed their way through the city streets, stopping to get coffee and pastries before sitting in a store window and watching the rain and the passersby on the street. Eventually Maya made it back home. She collected Hudson from Riley's apartment ( Auggie had answered the door as Riley was out) and headed up the next flight of stairs to her apartment. She turned the key in the lock and flounced down on the couch. She flicked on the tv and covered herself with a blanket. Hudson jumped up and settled himself beside her on the couch. Despite the decent amount of sleep Maya had been able to get the night before she was still utterly exhausted. She would have been content to spend the rest of the day on the couch, listening to the rain and praying that a storm didn't roll back in to terrorize her.

Maya had talked to a panicked Shawn on the phone for nearly an hour that afternoon. He was still up north and had been frantic about not being able to get a hold of her during the storm. Shawn was more than aware of Maya's phobia and had wanted to ensure that she wasn't rolled into a ball shaking somewhere.

Maya was about to drift off to sleep on the couch when she heard the front door to her apartment crack open. Hudson jumped down from the couch and padded over to the front door to greet their guest.

Maya's eyes peeked open just in time to see Riley flop down on the couch beside her. Riley who had clearly let herself in with her spare key was watching her best friend carefully.

" Hello" Maya said groggily, sitting up slightly and rubbing at her eyes.

"Did you spend the night at my uncle Josh's?" Riley asked almost accusatory. Maya was slightly taken aback. Maya had texted Riley the night before and asked her to take care of Hudson while she was away from the night. Riley hadn't asked any further questions at that point in time, but now seemed to be full of them.

"What?" Maya asked still trying to wake herself up fully.

" I've been racking my brain to figure out where you might have been last night and Josh is the only plausible answer." Riley continued on.

"You guys were doing that weird brain test thing that Josh did with Auggie. So in theory you would have been at his apartment when the storm hit, meaning you would have had to spend the whole night there. Alone. The two of you. Together. Without anyone else?" Riley rambled.

" That's generally what alone means pumpkin." Maya stated trying to stifle a yawn.

" So you were at Josh's?" Riley pressed on. Maya nodded.

" and is your hymen still intact?" Riley deadpanned causing Maya's jawn to drop.

" RILEY!" Maya half shouted in total shock of her friends forwardness.

" It's a valid question!" Riley defended. Maya rolled her eyes at her friend.

" I don't know! There was a storm and the power was out and you're like in love with each other! so how am i supposed to know if the two of you got caught up in the moment and got it on?"

" Nothing happened!" Maya defended, smacking Riley with a pillow.

" Just checking!" Riley said with a huff leaning back into the couch.

" God maybe you and Lucus need to start talking again. You've got too much time on your hands to think."

It was Riley's turn to roll her eyes.

This was obviously an awkward conversation to have in general, but it was made even more awkward by the fact that there were a few things that Maya hadn't told Riley. A few things that she hadn't told anyone.

The issue being that Riley was assuming that Maya was still a virgin. It was a valid assumption based on the fact that Maya hadn't had a serious relationship for the entirety of their high school career and wasn't exactly the partying type. It was also valid as while Riley had told Maya the very night that she and Lucas had first slept together, Maya had kept her mouth shut about her one and only sexual experience.

There was a reason for this. It wasn't exactly something that Maya was proud of. It had happened during Maya's summer in Paris after her mother's death. She and a group of the other students in her program had stayed up late one night towards the end of the summer. They consumed multiple bottles of the cheap wine they had bought on the street and were all drinking together on the roof of their dorm building. Maya had been as drunk as she had ever been in her life and had ended up hooking up with one of the guys in her program. She didn't remember much of it. When she had woken up in the morning she hadn't even been sure at first if it had happened or not.

She had never told anyone about it. She hadn't spoken to that guy since that day. While that summer had been a healing experience for Maya it was still during one of the most vulnerable times of her life. She regretted what had happened, but she knew that she couldn't change it, so she chose not to dwell on it.

Still when Riley brought up the subject Maya felt a pang in her chest. Thinking about it in the context of Josh. If it had been with Josh. If she could be with Josh. She could almost feel the skin on her lower back tingle from where he had touched it that morning. Maya and Josh weren't dating, but she felt closer to him than almost anyone else in her life. She had had feeling for him forever and they had only grown over the years. He was always there for her, and she had the suspicion that he always would be. She couldn't change what had happened, but she still wished that it had been Josh.


	40. Chapter 40

Someday Soon Chapter 40

 **IMPORTANT PLEASE READ:** **I know the revelation about Maya at the end of the last chapter caught some of you off guard. I've been holding onto that idea since i wrote about Maya's summer in paris. I toyed with the idea of Maya talking about it with Riley as soon as she got back to the states but put it off. I know it doesn't fit perfectly into a happy Joshaya story but this story has never been about a perfect relationship. I've tried to keep this story has honest as possible and this is something I believe could have honestly happened in these circumstances. I know everyone has a different concept of big meaning around virginity but please don't let that ruin your feelings for Josh and Maya in this story. Virginity is not the be all end all at least in my opinion. Just because someone isn't your first doesn't mean that they can't have a meaningful relationship. People go through tough times, make mistake and learn more along the way. A number of you were also concerned about how Josh saved Maya from a drunk mistake at a party several chapters ago only to have her make the same mistake in France. I hope this chapter clears up the difference between those two events ( ex: maya was on drugs during the NY party/ completely out of control/ not fully aware of surroundings) . In my opinion it doesn't ruin anything between Maya and Josh so i hope you persevere and continue to read! I'm really sorry to have disappointed some of you but i didn't do this just to add angst to this story. I am doing my best to be you all for your support thus far!**

 **Another note: This chapter deeply revolves around mental illness and medication. I'm doing my best to correctly depict this topic from mine and others experience and mean nothing but respect.**

Riley didn't stick around the apartment much longer. She could tell that Maya was dead on her feet and soon returned back down stairs to her own home. Maya felt the knot in her stomach tighten and tangle further as she sat in silence on the couch, staring at the blank space of wall beside the space where the tv was mounted.

Maya hadn't thought that night in Paris since the week it had happened. It was one of those memories that she tucked neatly away in the folder in the back of her mind to be forgotten and never thought of. That memory sat on the shelf with other pieces of her life she cared not to think of. The day she found out her mother was dying. Curling up in a chair in Katys hospital room and pretending to sleep while Shawn and her mother had hushed conversations about her. The sound of her mother's scratchy and weak voice begging Shawn to take care of Maya after Katy was gone. The moment the last scoop of dirt was placed over Katys grave and she was officially buried for that had been the moment that it had truly hit Maya that she would never see her mother again . But Riley's assumptions hung over her head, pulling out the memories Maya had tried to destroy, shaking off the dust and pushing its way into the front of her mind. Along with it came other thoughts she had tried to push away, other memories she would rather not go over again and again like she used to.

There were other things she hadn't told Riley. Other things she hadn't told anyone, no one except for Shawn. Maya thought about the weeks after her mother's death when she hadn't been able to stand being inside the house, but hadn't been able to face going to school. The hours she spent wandering the city with no real location, walking with thousands of strangers and looking for her mother in each and every one of them. She had been a shell of a person as if she was walking around without a heart in her chest.

She joked about Josh being her personal therapist when in reality her actual psychologist's office was on 138 west and 25th. Maya didn't talk about the fact that at any given time over the past year she had been on more medications than she could list. She didn't confined in Riley had she had had weekly check ups to make sure she wasn't having suicidal thoughts due to her new antidepressants.

Maya painted a picture of her grieving self for the outside world. She went to school to reassure her family, but only went to half her classes. She started every morning with a hand full of pills and a glass of orange juice. Medications for depression and panic disorders, insomnia and sleep deprivation. She didn't know why she didn't tell Riley or any of her other friends about this. It wasn't like she had anything to be ashamed of, she was having a difficult time and required help. Yet still she kept it a secret. She had always been the strength in their friend group. The giant who spoke her mind and didn't take anyone's shit lying down. She thought they might look at her differently. Even more so than they already did after her mother's death.

While France had been a healing experience for Maya, it hadn't been the perfect summer as she had described it to her friends. Maya's art had helped her to a point, and it had been a good idea for her to get out of the city, but her problems had followed her to Paris. There were still nights when Maya didn't sleep at all. Hours that she spent staring at a wall and feeling wave after wave of crippling sadness wash over her. She still had nights like that to this day, though they were fewer and further between.

It was easy to pretend over Skype and the phone that everything was fine. She'd talk to Riley and Farkle, Shawn and Josh and seem perfectly happy, talking animatedly about her program. Maya could go out with the people in the program and explore the city, she could have what seemed to be a near perfect day. But still there would be an overwhelming sense of sadness or dread following her around like a shadow. Maya could tell that people could sense that something was up with her, but no one acknowledged that. She was grateful for that, but at the same time she wished she had someone to talk to about it. On more than one occasion Maya had called Shawn in hysterics. She would sob into the phone. There had been one such night that Maya had been so unconsolable that Shawn had almost booked an overnight flight to France.

Maya was doing her best to keep it all together. She was taking all her medications consistently, doing the meditation and breathing exercises that her therapists had suggested but it wasn't always enough.

Maya had never been a huge drinker. She had been drunk before but she had never gotten truly out of hand. That changed one of the last nights of her program. A whole group of people, Maya included, and gotten nearly a dozen bottles of wine from a small corner store down the street. It was an unusually warm August night so they all gathered on the top of the their dorm building. There were a few beat up old couches that past students had once hauled up to the roof and everyone lounged around them. The sky was cleared of clouds that night and the near full moon was enough light for the tiny makeshift party. The group sat around drinking the wine, a few people were smoking and tapping their ashes onto the ground by their feet.

Maya had had three glasses and had a pleasant warm feeling in her stomach. For a moment she felt happy and content with her brain a little fuzzy around the edges. Then thoughts crept back into her mind that she had been trying to keep a bay. It was memories of her mother that came to her that night to dampen her mood. They weren't the happy memories that Maya held onto that she found herself thinking about that night. It was the memories from the end, when Katy was getting weaker and weaker. It was the memories of watching her mother die.

Maya's solution had been to pour herself another glass of wine, and another until she stopped keeping count. It had been as if she had been hoping to drown her memories back into the back of her mind. She wasn't thinking about the warning labels on the medication about the careful consumption of alcohol or how she hadn't tested her tolerance in months. She just drank. It didn't really help. Maya just felt herself becoming more and more numb every time she raised her glass to her lips.

She'd been sitting beside him all night. They were in a few of the same classes in the program but mostly ran in different circles all summer. His name was Louis and he was actually from France. He had attended the program multiple times before. They had been talking as a group the whole night but not necessarily to each other. At some point his hand had come to rest of her leg. Maya hadn't been really paying attention at first and it wasn't until he tightened his grip on her thigh slightly that she realized he was even there.

Eventually the group began to break up as everyone disburse from the roof and back downstairs. Maya remembered Louis taking her arm as they walked down the stairs, supposedly so she wouldn't fall. Maya remembered walking down the hallway with Louis, both of them stumbling slightly. Maya remembered them stopping in front of a dorm room door. She remembered louis leaning in to kiss her but she couldn't remember his lips on hers. She didn't remember entering the room but she could remember the feeling of a stiff mattress beneath her. Maya knew what was happening. She knew that she should really get up. Leave this room and find her way back to her own. But she didn't. She let Louis keep kissing her. She could have told him to stop but she didn't. In that moment she couldn't find the will to care about anything. Between the wine and her meds and her state she felt like nothing mattered. Everything was still numb.

Maya pushed all those thoughts away again. That had been almost a year was no reason for her to think about it now. She didn't want to dwell on that part of her life. Rileys assumptions had brought those thoughts to the surface but Maya was ready to file them back away to collect dust. Maya wasn't going to let a mistake her had made during a darker period of her life affect her present.

She had a lot to look forward to. She was graduating high school in a matter of weeks, and starting university in the fall. Her whole life was spread out in front of her, full of possibilities and full of some days.

 **Question: Someone said i should put this story of wattpad. I've never used the website and was wondering what the differences/ advantages are vs ?**


	41. Chapter 41

Someday Soon Chapter 41

The worst of the storm had passed over the city long before Maya climbed into her bed that night. There was still heavy rain streaming against the window of her bedroom but there hadn't been a clap of thunder or a strike of lightening since before Maya had arrived back at the apartment.

Maya tried not to think of the sheer amount of rain falling outside. She tried not to think of people living in basement apartments with soggy carpets and leaky doorways. Instead she chose to focus on the sound of the raindrops against the metal grate of the fire escape and the gentle crooning of a cover artist flooding from the speakers across her room. Hudson was curled into a ball at the end of the bed, the dog draped across her feet, pinning them down. Maya didn't try and sleep. She knew that was pointless. She had considered taking an ambien or something along those lines that her doctor had long ago prescribed but she couldn't push herself to do it. She just wanted to sit in bed, and listen to the rain.

Maya wasn't sure when she fell asleep or if she fell asleep. She'd been focused on the rain against the window for so long that she either hadn't noticed the time running by in front of her or maybe she had slipped off to sleep without really realizing. But the sun was at least trying to attempt to rise through a thick cover of grey clouds and gloomy air. It was shaping up to be a perfect sunday morning. However after a moment Maya realized that this was one of the few sunday mornings she had left before her high school graduation. A part of her life was coming to a close, and she wasn't sure what the next chapter of her life would hold. She would be starting hudson in the fall. That was the single fixed point on her horizon. But what would come after that? What would she major in? What would her classes be like? Who would she become? All these questions seemed too big to be conquered on a sunless grey sunday. Maya would push those thoughts aside for now. All she need was coffee.

Maya gently placed her bare feet on the cold hardwood floor and pushed herself up off the bed. She hurried over to her dresser and clumsily pulled on a pair of socks from the top drawer. Behind her she heard the sound of Hudson's paws skid across the floor as he jumped down from the bed and pad off towards the kitchen in the hopes of breakfast. Maya hurried after him and ventured out into the living space. Hudson was waiting eagerly by his food dish, practically quivering in anticipation. Maya shook her head at him but moved over to the cabinet where the they kept Hudson's dog food. She scooped out a cup of dried food and dumped it into the bowl. As Hudson began to scarf down the food Maya moved towards the coffee maker, flipping switches and placing a few filter in the top of the machine. Maya watched as the dark liquid dripped into the pot and tried not to think of how the drops of coffee were like bits of sand in an hour glass melting away time in front of her eyes. She shook her head again. Today was not about the unknown of the future. It was about the here and now, and the here and now involved coffee and not a lot else.

….

Maya had a mostly peaceful morning. She and hudson stayed huddled up on the couch, watching old reruns of sitcoms and watching the rain growing weaker and weaker outside the window. Maya was halfway through her third bowl of cinnamon toast crunch when she heard a knock on the front door of the apartment. Hudson was so asleep that his ears didn't even perk when the apartment door swung open.

Riley had only knocked as a formality. She had her own key and was more than comfortable letting herself in. Riley was dressed much in the same way as Maya, in their typical sunday apperal of baggy sweatpants and over washed oversized t shirts. Riley hadn't said anything as she crossed the room and climbed under the blanket Maya and hudson were curled under.

"Good morning." Maya said through a mouthful of cereal, all though it was much closer to afternoon than morning.

"Were you serious last night?" Riley asked without a beat of hesitation. Maya swallowed the cereal before answering, watching her best friend carefully.

"About?" Maya pressed not sure what her friend was referring to.

"When you said i should start talking to Lucas again. Did you mean it?" Riley said hurriedly. Maya shook her head at Riley.

" I wasn't being serious in the moment but if you think its time then..." Maya said wavering off towards the end. It had been a few weeks since Riley and Lucas had spoken. They were taking time apart to prevent the same fight happening over and over again with the same results. Maya knew that Riley was still feeling uneasy about the whole situation with Lucas. She wanted to resolve things, but she didn't know how. Riley couldn't give Lucas the answer he wanted. She wasn't going to Texas with him.

" I don't know." Riley said quietly.

" I still don't know what to do."

Maya looked at Riley thoughtfully.

"Lucas knows right? About Penn?" Maya asked. Riley had committed to the school only a few weeks before, sealing her fate of spending the next four years in Philadelphia. Maya nodded.

" He knows. We talked about it before. Or we fought about it i guess." Riley continued.

"Riles." Maya said taking her friends hands in her own.

" You know it doesn't have to be one or the other right?" Riley looked at her confused.

"Just because you're not going to the same school doesn't mean that you can't be together. If that's what you want. It would be hard but it wouldn't be impossible. But if it's not what you want, that's okay too." Maya said quietly. Riley looked down at her hands in Maya's. Maya could see that there were tears trying to prick through Riley's eyes.

" I don't know." Riley whispered.

" This might sound dumb, but you've always struck me as the type to believe in the power of the universe. If you and Lucas are meant to be then it'll happen. It might not be today, or even in the next decade, but if it's right, and you believe it's right then it'll happen." Maya said simply. Maya squeezed Riley's hands in her own.

" But if it's wrong, then that's okay too." Maya said echoing her words from before. Riley was quiet for a few moments.

" is that how you feel about you and Josh?" Riley asked boldly. Maya was taken aback for a second.

"What?" Maya asked unsure what Riley meant.

" I used to see the two of you sometimes, at family dinners and stuff, mouthing words to each other or whispering as you walked past. Eventually i got pretty good at reading your lips."

"Okay stalker." Maya said jokingly trying to break the awkward tension she felt. Riley smacked her with a pillow playfully.

" I'm serious. Is that what someday means? That it might be right someday?" Maya shrugged her shoulders as a non committal way of answering. Riley rolled her eyes at her.

"Fine. Stay mysterious."

….

The next week of school was even more awkward than the last, and Maya hadn't thought that possible. Riley and Lucas had been avoiding each other eye contact and not speaking at all during their break, but they were now back on again. Although not really. They were tip toeing around each other only speaking in polite full sentences as if they were nervous to have a real conversation. Lucas and Riley hadn't been alone together since they decided to end their break. So far Maya had been pulled along on a dinner date and to two movies with Riley and Lucas since they had gotten back together. Maya had facilitated polite conversation between Riley and Lucas and couldn't help but notice that the two still avoided eye contact with each other most of the time.

It was because of Riley's insistence that Maya was attending a party that friday night with her and Lucas. Farkle was on a campus visit to Princeton and Zay was busy that night so it would just be the three of them at the party. Maya hadn't really wanted to go. She would have much prefered to stay home that night and eat popcorn in the blue light of her tv screen. But she was a good friend and agreed to go to the party with Riley.

This turned out to be a bad idea. As soon as they got through the door of the party Lucus dashed off and returned with drinks for the three of them. Riley took hers eagerly and quickly began to take gulps. Maya was more cautious, taking a sip that barely coated her tongue. Maya had only really taken the drink to be polite. She planned to nurse the drink for the rest of the night. She hadn't been properly drunk in months. She had been buzzed on new years and at morgan's wedding, but that had been it. She didn't want to get out of control.

Riley didn't share the same notion. Riley seemed intent on breaking the awkwardness by drowning it in vodka with a splash of orange juice and 7 up. Maya had kept her eyes on Riley for the most of the night until Riley dashed away from her intent on finding lucas who had disappeared in the crowd. Maya spent the next hour or so talking with a group of girls from her class. She was looking to keep herself distracted until Riley finally showed up again. But after another forty five minutes Maya was done waiting around. She began wading through the crowd in search of Riley and Lucas.

" Have you seen Riley?" Maya asked one of the girls from her class who was hovering by the staircase. The music was so loud that Riley could barely hear the girl's words over the sounds of the speakers.

" She ran out like thirty minutes ago. I think she and Lucas had a fight. She was crying and He went running out after her." The girl said nonchalantly. Maya felt her heart sink slightly in her chest. So Riley had left. She didn't blame Riley necessarily for baling. She definitely wasn't happy about it, but if Riley and Lucas had had such a blow out fight Maya wasn't surprised that Riley had forgotten about her and torn off towards home.

Now all Maya herself wanted to do was go home. The issue being that it was close to midnight and the nearest subway stop was blocks away. It wasn't as if she was in a bad part of town but she had watched too many episodes of law and order to want to walk home alone in the middle of the night. It would have been different if she was still with Riley and Lucas, but she wasn't. It was just her. She didn't have the cash on her for a cab, and Shawn was on a weekend assignment at the cape. She supposed she could call the Matthews but she didn't want to bother them, not when Riley had surely come home a mess after the fight she'd had with Lucas. It was too loud in the middle of the party for Maya to properly hear, so she ducked into the bathroom in the hall. When she closed the heavy wooden door behind her the noise of the party cut in half. She pulled out her phone and scrolled through her contacts to the number she had a bad habit of calling whenever she was in trouble. She sat down on the edge of the polished white claw foot tub and began to nervously tap her foot out of habit. She pressed the screen and pressed the phone to her ear.

"Hey." She said softly.

" I hope i didn't wake you up. Riley dragged me to this party and then ditched and i don't have a way home. Do you think you could come get me?" Maya asked almost embarrassed. On the other side of the phone Josh said

" i'll be right there."


	42. Chapter 42

Someday Soon Chapter 42

Josh was walking briskly down the near empty city streets. It was a little after midnight but Josh hadn't been asleep when Maya called. He'd still been awake, having just got back to his apartment not half an hour before. He had gotten home from his job with the school district around 6 that night and had quickly hurried back out to meet up with some friends in Williamsburg. He'd sat around on a peeling leather couch, nursing a heineken and mostly just observing the people around him. The loft he was in belonged to his friend Kate who he'd met in an abnormal psych class a few years before. The room was filled with a variety of people, some of whom Josh recognized from school, and others who were complete strangers.

Kate had spent nearly an hour trying to convince Josh to attend the gathering that night. Josh had been trying to finish all his paperwork at his desk that afternoon but hadn't been able to focus as his phone had been buzzing every few seconds with messages from Kate detailing her plans for the night.

She was having a few people over to her apartment

He should come

She hadn't seen him since graduation

He needed to get out more

He'd have enough time to spend long lonely nights in his apartment after his graduate work started.

Josh wasn't stupid. He knew what Kate's motives were. Ever since they had met during their sophomore year Kate had been hounding Josh about why he was habitually single. Kate herself wasn't interested in him in any way. But she was however very interested in nosing around in his personal life. For the past few years Kate had been trying, mostly unsuccessfully, to set Josh up on a series of blind dates. Despite the fact that Kate was starting at the NYU school of Law, with her heart set on becoming a ruthless divorce lawyer who tore apart marriages with as little as a blink of her eye, she was a romantic. She read countless romance novels with embarrassing covers of a man and women locked in each other brace, their hair blowing dramatically in the wind. Kate could recite every word to almost every major romcom from when she was growing up.

For this reason Kate was obsessed with Josh and his personal life. She of course wanted to see one of her best friends in a happy relationship, and took it upon herself to attempt to set him up with this or that girl that Kate had met at this or that place. It never worked out. At most Josh would go on a second date with one of these women that Kate threw at him. They were all perfectly nice people, interesting and smart. But it was never right. Despite this, Kate never stopped trying.

Josh played along mostly just to keep Kate happy. She was an only child and was very used to getting what she wanted. It wasn't the end of the world to go to coffee with a girl every month or so.

He never admitted to Kate or anyone, that the real reason that nothing every happened between him and his blind dates was that maybe he was waiting for someone. Maybe he hadn't even admitted it to himself. His life had been rather dull romantically over the past few years. He had gone on a few dates, maybe hooked up with a few girls at parties he could hardly remember when he had been too drunk. Nothing serious had happened. Not yet.

Josh had known that going to Kates that night would mean that there would probably some liberal arts major there who Kate no doubt thought would be his soul mate. Josh attended that night for two reason. One, because he really did enjoy Kates company and hadn't seen his friend in a while, and two because Randall would kill him if he turned down the invitation. Randall, Josh's roommate from NYU, always tagged along with him to any function that Kate invited him to.

Randall had been pining over Kate for the past three years. It seemed like an odd pairing to Josh. Randall was from the midwest, a little stringy in frame. He came off as a douche at times, but in reality was a bit of a dork. He was good with numbers and becoming an accountant.

Kate on the other hand was nothing short of a shark. She was born and raised on the upper east side. She was the daughter of two powerful business types and had attended only the best schools. She oozed confidence and power with every step she took and word she spoke.

So in order to be a good friend to both Kate and Randall Josh had taken the train over to Brooklyn. He'd sat on the couch and been quickly joined by the girl Kate had lined up for him. Her name had been Claudia. Her hair was a dark brown almost black colour, a few tiny braids mixed into it. He was a sophomore at the New School and had met Kate at a book signing for an obscure author they both liked that Josh had never heard of.

Josh hadn't really been paying much attention to the conversation they had been having, mostly just nodding along, Claudia seemed happy to do most of the talking. Josh looked up across the room to see Kate leaning against the breakfast bar of her kitchen, a large glass of pinot grigio in her hand. She was watching him carefully, while Randall stood to her left, talking her ear off no doubt. When she noticed him looking back at her she shot him an encouraging smile before motioning him back to continue his conversation.

Josh bowed out of the gathering early. He didn't give an excuse. Just getting up from the couch and crossing the room to thank Kate for having him. She'd had enough wine over the course of the evening to not protest too much to hear that he was leaving.

Josh had gotten on the train back to his side of the bridge. Plugging in his headphones and turning up the volume. He was listening to an album Maya had suggested to him a few weeks back. He closed his eyes and leaned his head back against the train window. He didn't want to think about how much dirt and grime that was collected on the glass behind him. It was approaching eleven o'clock and Josh still had quite the ride ahead of him before he would be home.

His thoughts began to wander as the vibrations of the train shook his brain. It didn't take long for his mind to settle on Maya. He hadn't seen her since the previous weekend at his apartment during the storm. Josh was working at the school district now so he was no longer picking up shifts at the bakery. They still texted back and forth most of the day but hadn't been face to face in almost exactly 7 days. It made Josh sort of uneasy. They had spent so much time together the past few months, seeing each other for a few hours a few days a week almost every week. He thought about maybe calling her the next morning, seeing if she wanted to go see an afternoon movie.

That was normal right? Something that friend did together? In the back of his mind the thoughts of Maya's approaching graduation were lingering. Josh tried to push those thoughts farther away. Just because Maya wasn't going to be in high school anymore didn't immediately mean that something would happen between them. At least not right away. Josh had attached meaning to this date as if it would mean something. Was that someday? Was someday even possible? Some days he didn't seem so sure. But other times it seemed inevitable. Whenever Maya made him laugh so hard that his stomach ached, or the skin of her hand brushed against his spending sparks of electricity across his flesh. What he didn't know was what came next.

Josh had been surprised to see Maya's name flash across his screen when she called, but hadn't been displeased. Quite the opposite in fact. He was surprised as it had been after midnight and for a moment a flash of fear faced through his chest. What if something was wrong.

Maya had spoken quickly on the other end, full of explanations and apologies and a question he had an easy answer to. She was half way across town but Josh was more than willing to put his shoes back on and venture back out of the comfort of his apartment and onto the city streets.

…

Maya had texted Josh the address and it took him a little over half an hour to get there. He was finally on the right street, walking down the rows of beautiful town houses. Josh wondered what kind of friend Maya had that's family had enough money to live in a neighbourhood like this. He could hear the party once he was within half a block of it. Josh was surprised the police hadn't received a noise complaint.

Once Josh was close enough to his destination the house came into focus. It was a few stories high with a small set of concrete stairs leading up to the ornate front door. Sitting on the middle step was Maya, leaning forward to let her elbows rest against her knees, a lit cigarette between her fingers.

Josh was surprised at that. Shocked even. Maya noticed him then. Her face breaking out in a smile as she got to her feet the cigarette still in her hand as she walked down the final two steps and came to a stop in front of him.

" I'm sorry." Maya said in place of a greeting.

" I hope i didn't pull you out of bed." Maya joked. She had often poked fun at him about how much of a home body he had become lately.

" It's fine." He said distractedly. Without thinking he reached down and snatched the cigarette out of her hand.

"What is this?" Josh asked confused, raising it up between them so it was level with her eyes and his chin. She knew what he was asking. She could see that he was ready to get angry. Ready to lecture with her about the dangers of smoking and shake her from frustration that she would do that to herself.

"That" Maya said said calmly taking the cigarette back from him dropping it to the ground and stomping it out under her boot.

" was my excuse to wait outside." Maya hadn't wanted to stay inside the party any longer then she had to. The music had been too loud and there had been too many people, none of which she particularly wanted to talk to. She had tried to move to wait outside but had got caught up by Kevin Flint who had graduated the year before but still attended high school parties. Maya kept trying to move around him but he seemed intent on talking to her. Maya had created the excuse that she was going outside of a smoke. Kevin was a known smoker who was trying quit. He had just informed her of such. So that was her out. She headed out the front door and bummed a cigarette from one of the two girls who were standing on the front steps smoking their own. She had just wanted to make her story look believable in case Kevin stuck his head out the door to check on her. He was the type to do so. The girl had offered to light the stick up for Maya and she had agreed as to not look odd. She had been holding it as a distance as she waited.

"My mom died of a malignant brain tumor. I'm not going to try and give myself cancer." Maya said only half jokingly.

Josh stood there unsure what to do for only a moment and then his face broke out into an awkward half smile. Josh shook his head as if to clear his thoughts.

"Sorry. Gut reaction." He said as he turned so they could both walk the correct way back down the street. Maya gave him a knowing look.

" Oh i can just see it. You were going to go all uncle josh on me. Give me one of those lectures you used to give Auggie when you'd baby sit and he wouldn't go to bed." Maya said jumping her arm against his as they walked.

Josh stayed silent, but Maya wouldn't let up.

" weren't you uncle Josh?" she pushed on nudging her elbow against chest. Josh shuttered slightly.

" Please don't call me uncle." Josh said as he continued to walk. Maya's footsteps beside him stopped. Josh turned and saw her standing still on the sidewalk smirking at him.

"Why not." She said challengingly giving him a knowing look. She was playing with him. She had some confidence in her that night. She was going to flirt. She wanted to get a rise out of him. Josh wasn't sure what to do. Should he play into her game? Would it be safe? Could he trust himself?

" No really. Why not?" she said again a glint in her eye. Challenging him once again. He just rolled his eyes at her.

"Come on. Let's get some breakfast." He said as a way of escaping her questioning. He turned and started walking again and he heard Maya follow him. When he glanced over at her while he walked he saw that she was giving him an amused look.

"What?" He asked trying to feign innocence. She just smirked at him.

" Nothing." She said in equal innocence. She let a beat of silence pass between them and then quipped

"Uncle Josh." He reached out and pushed against her shoulder. She let out a laugh and as she caught her balance again she felt Josh reach down and grasp onto her hand, as if to say _this is why._ He interlocked his fingers in her own. Maya felt her breath catch in her chest for just a moment.

Maybe it was just her. But there was something about the way he was holding her and the way the air felt around them that made Maya think maybe tonight was different. Maybe it was special. Maybe it was tonight.

 **I know some people are getting impatient for the a little more Joshaya action but trust me, the next few chapters are big ones! Thank you all for all the support! Hope you're still enjoying!**


	43. Chapter 43

Someday Soon Chapter 43

Maya tried not to think too much into the fact that Josh was holding her hand. It's not like it had never happened before. However in the past it had almost always been during times of emotional crisis. During those occasions Maya had always been able to tell herself that Josh was doing it out of obligation. Maya could try to convince herself that this was the case now. It was the middle of the night and they were walking down a city street. She could tell herself that Josh was doing it to make her feel safe.

But that didn't feel like the case in this situation. For one it was a saturday night. The streets were feel light and there were people everywhere. There were lines outside of clubs and bars that they past. It was New York after all. There would be people out on the streets into the wee hours of the morning. Stragglers from clubs wouldn't stumble home until after 4 am and the streets wouldn't get truly quiet until around 5 am. Even then they wouldn't stay like that for long. Around 6 am small pockets of the city would begin making their way to work. They weren't walking in a sleazy part of town. Maya still wouldn't have wanted to walk alone but it wasn't as though they were skipping down a dark alley near a known drug drop off site.

Something felt different that night. It was something about the way that Josh was holding her hand. It wasn't as tho her hand was was merely clasped in his in a way that could be seen as impersonal. Rather he had intertwined their fingers in a way that was so intimate that it made Maya heart beat a little faster.

 _Don't read into it,_ Maya thought to herself, trying to keep her mind on the street in front of her rather then her hand in Joshs. Still as they walked down the street she felt giddy. The night had taken an unexpected turn for the better.

Josh and Maya entered a small, slightly grimy all night dinner. There weren't too many patrons filling the booths as it was only just after midnight. The dinner wouldn't get truly busy until around 3 am when the first wave of people exited the nearby clubs in search of overly greasy food and bottomless coffee.

Maya was slightly resentful to have to let go of Josh's hand in order to slide into her own side of the beat up leather booth. She was not bitter however that her time alone with Josh was being dragged out this way. She had assumed that he would begrudgingly pick her up from the party, walk her briskly home and then hurry back to whatever he had been doing before.

But he had suggested getting something to eat. Josh had been the one who had lead her onto the subway and then three blocks up and five blocks over to the dinner they were sitting in now. The booth was made of old faded baby blue and white leather that would have likely been installed in the 50's. Maya was suddenly very grateful that she was wearing a pair of beat up jeans that she'd had forever rather than a piece of clothing she actually cared about. Maya didn't want to think about how infrequently these seats probably got whipped down. Dirt didn't bother her much. But still it was the principle of the thing.

They sat across from one another for nearly an hour, drinking cups of watery coffee and forks full of apple pie ( maya) and raspberry crumble (Josh). Half way through their desserts they had slide their plates across the table towards the other, switching.

Maya took the last few bites of the tart dessert that Josh had ordered. They talked about the blow up that had happened between Riley and Lucas that night. They were both worried about her.

They talked about Josh's job and every other thing that they hadn't gotten to talk about that week. It had been weird not getting to seem him nearly every day. With Josh no longer manning the counter at the cafe and both Maya and Josh at school or work all day, they hadn't seen each other all week. Maya knew that things would change in the summer. She would be out of school and only working the occasional morning or afternoon around town for some spending money and all of Josh's evenings and weekends were free. They wouldn't have the cafe as an excuse to see each other daily. Would they come up with other solutions to this problem? Would Josh want to? Could they hang around each other without the convenient excuse of the cafe? Maya hoped so, and this late night dinner trip seemed to be a good sign for outings to come.

…

After exiting the dinner Josh and Maya had headed back out onto the street and off towards the direction of Maya's apartment building. Maya tried to hide her excitement when Josh once again laced his fingers through her own while they walked. Maya had felt her heart leap in her chest when Josh had taken her hand. He hadn't said anything when he had done it and for a few seconds afterward they walked in silence before their conversation returned. Maya found herself wishing they were walking home from washington heights rather than from a handful of blocks away. She would have been content to walk the lamp post lit streets for hours and hours just holding Josh's hand.

But eventually after far too little time Josh and Maya had turned the corner onto Maya's street and her building was in site. Maya felt her stomach sink a little. She wasn't ready to say goodbye to Josh. It was close to two in the morning but Maya wasn't ready to just go upstairs and go to sleep. She wanted to keep talking to Josh. She wanted him to keep holding her hand.

They came to a stop front of the building and Josh turned so that he and Maya were face to face. He hadn't let go of her hand and without thinking Maya reached down and intertwined their other hand.

"Thank you for coming to get me." Maya said, although she had already thanked him when he first arrived at the party to collect her. Josh just offered her a smile.

"Did you want to come upstairs?" Maya asked before she could talk herself out of it. Josh was running his thumbs up and down the sides of both of her hands so it was already hard enough to keep her thoughts straight. She still wasn't ready for him to leave. They could go upstairs and crash out on the living room couch. Talking until it was impossible for either one of them to keep their eyes open any longer.

Josh's smiled widened.

" I don't think Shawn would appreciate you having company at this late an hour." he said jokingly.

"He's not here." Maya stated.

" He's gone for the weekend. He's writing a piece in Old Silver Beach." She said simply, looking up at him.

"It's probably not a good idea." Josh stated.

"Why not?" Maya asked confused, looking up at him through her eyelashes. Was she being too pushy? Maybe Josh was tired and just wanted to go home and go to sleep. It was after 2 am after all. But it didn't feel that way. Maya was suddenly aware that at some point during their conversation they had stepped closer together to the point that there was a breath of room between their bodies. Their hands were clasped together at their sides.

Maya thought that if Josh would just lean his face down towards hers, she would crane her neck ever so slightly and they would be..

"Because i really want to kiss you." Josh said softly. Maya took in a sharp breath in shock.

"Then why don't you?" She asked, her voice breathy and barely above a whisper.

His head leaned down ever so slightly so that their foreheads were pressed together and their noses grazed one another. Their lips were centimeters apart. Maya could feel every breath Josh took against her voice. His breath smelled tart and sweet from the crumble they had shared earlier. The smell made her mouth tingle from memory.

"It's just not the right time." Josh said wistfully as if he wished the words he was saying weren't true. Their mouths were so close together that Maya could almost feel the movement of his lips as he spoke. If he spoke above a whisper his lips may have even shifted enough to brush against her own.

"Then when is?" Maya asked not breaking eye contact with Josh. She could hardly breath. Josh sighed and Maya could feel his hot breath against her skin.

" You're in high school." He said as if it was mantra that he had been reciting to himself. Maya stepped back letting out a long sigh.

"For two more weeks!" Maya said in exasperation, leaning her head back as if shouting it at the heavens.

Josh smirked at her as if he was trying not to laugh. Their hands were still clasped and Josh pulled her back towards him.

"Trust me i know." Josh said a smile wide on his face as he watched her in amusement.

" and it's the only thing stopping me." he said suddenly more serious. Maya let out a breath.

" I wish it wouldn't." Maya said not afraid of coming on too strong. She was far past that.

"So do I." Josh said matching her honesty. Josh leaned in towards her and for a moment she thought he was saying the hell with it and not letting it stop him. Maya stopped breathing. But his kiss landed on her cheek. It did however catch the corner of her mouth as well. He pulled away.

"Good night Maya." He said softly.

"Good night." She said her voice barely audible. Her heart was pounding out of her chest and her whole body felt numb except for the corner of her mouth where she could still feel Josh's kiss burning against her skin.

Maya climbed up the stairs to her apartment building front door and buzzed herself in. She pushed open the front door but looked back to the street before stepping in.

Josh was still on the sidewalk. He was waiting to make sure she was inside her building before turning to go. He raised a hand to her in a wave of farewell, before walking away. Maya stepped into the building, closed the door and then leaned against it, taking her first full breath for the first time in minutes.


	44. Chapter 44

Someday Soon Chapter 44

Maya took a minute to catch her breath. She leaned back against heavy door of the lobby of her building for support. She couldn't believe how fast her heart was racing, and she was sure that if she raised her hand to eye level she would see that it was shaking.

The cheek and the corner of her mouth burned from the place where Josh's lips had rested against her skin. Josh had kissed her before, just once, a few months ago on New Year's Eve. That kiss had nearly knocked her off her feet but this, this was different. The kiss on new years had been all fire and edge. Something they knew they weren't supposed to do and never spoke of again. That kiss felt like Josh taking what could have been his only opportunity to ever kiss her. Like he had been unsure that someday would ever come and was taking advantage of a fleeting it was a distant memory that had to be viewed through the veil of time and alchohol.

But that night on the sidewalk felt like a start rather than an ending. It hadn't been a full kiss. Hell it hadn't even been half of one. But they'd both been sober and right of mind. There was no excuse of it being new year's eve and a silly tradition. This felt real. This was real.

For the first time Maya felt like someday might be actually approaching. She could almost imagine that the long game was rounding into it's fourth and final quarter and all she needed to do was play out the time left on the clock.

Her heart was pounding out of her chest as she climbed the building stairs and finally made it to her front door. She slipped her key into the lock, turned, and pushed the door open. She could hear Hudson jump down from the couch and come padding over to her, excited that she was finally home. Maya leaned down and scratched behind the dog's ears before dropping her jacket to the floor and kicking off her shoes.

Her head was still swimming with thoughts as she strode across the apartment and into her bedroom. She turned around and jumped backwards onto her bed, letting her body sink into the feathery duvet. She let out a laugh almost against her will. She felt high but in a way that no drug had ever made her experience before. All she could do was stare at her ceiling with a ridiculous smile on her face. Maya could hardly believe how the night had turned out.

She hadn't wanted to go to the dumb party but she had done it as a favour to Riley. How had it ended up with her and Josh alone under a street light their lips so close that a single breath could have connected them.

How had it ended up with Josh admitting that he wanted her. That he felt like she did. That she wasn't the only one longing to hold hands or feel the other's lips against their own.

Maya felt validated somehow. It was no secret that she had had feeling for Josh since forever. She hadn't exactly been artful about hiding it. She and Josh had had their conversation at the ski lodge. There were murmurings of long game and someday.

" you live your life and i'll live mine" and a million other sentiments. They had all been beautiful ideas. But for the longest time they had just been ideas.

They had shared moments together for the past two years but Maya had become her own worst enemy. Every time something happened between herself and Josh there was a part of her who had always wanted to write it off as nothing.

Josh was just being polite

Josh just didn't want to hurt her feelings.

Josh was taking pity on the poor little girl with the dead mom and the daddy issues.

Her mind had always tried to destroy the little victories she and Josh had shared together. But what had happened on the street that night was real. It was genuine and it was pointing towards a future, a future that wasn't 20 years down the line but just around the corner. Josh had told her to go and live her own life, and that he would be doing the same, but somehow their lives had always seen them gravitating back towards each other.

Maya had counted on Josh so much over the past two years. The things that had happened in her life had pushed her in his direction. He had been exactly the friend she needed. But she'd always thought of him as more than a friend. She saw him as a possibility, and now she knew he was looking at her the same way.

Maya fell asleep happy.

…..

Maya woke up to sun streaming through her bedroom window. She rolled over in bed and glanced at the time on her alarm clock. It read 7am. Maya was about groan about waking up so early on a sunday morning but then memories of the previous night came rushing back to her and a grin spread across her face. Her heart felt light again. It didn't matter that it was way too early on a sunday, it could have been 5am and she wouldn't have cared. She hadn't gotten to bed last night until half past 2am so she'd barely scraped together 4 and a half hours of sleep. Still she felt excited and jumpy and not at all tired.

She was still living off the high of a single not even kiss. Living off the possibility of a different life that was just two weeks away.

For the first time in a long time Maya started to sing to herself as she put down toast for breakfast and turned on the coffee pot. It started out as a hum. A song she couldn't get out of her head. Then eventually she found herself softly singing as she buttered her toast and put Hudson's food dish on the ground.

Maya rarely sang anymore. It was something she and Katy had had in common. They had both loved to sing around their old apartment. They used to dance around their miniscule galley kitchen while they did the dishes, bumping into one another as they washed their plates and trying to harmonize as belted out whatever song had come to mind that day.

After Katy had died Maya hardly ever sang. Sometimes a song would slip out of her while listening to the radio and she would mumble the words to herself, but it never went farther then that. It had been as if singing was too intwined of happy memories that she could no longer touch.

But she had felt so elated that morning that she couldn't help but sing to herself. She was in the type of good mood that required it. Katy had always liked Josh. Or at least she had liked the idea of him. Maya hadn't shared too much, but Katy understood her daughter's feelings on the vaguest of terms.

Maya had been so distracted flouncing around her kitchen that she hadn't even heard all the notifications on her phone and was surprised when Riley emerged from her bedroom, clearly having just climbed through Maya's window.

Riley looked rough. She clearly had not had a good night. Riley walked across the room and threw herself into Maya's arms.

Maya wrapped her arms around her friend, concerned. Maya tried not to wince, Riley smelled vaguely of vodka and what could be vomit.

"I'm so sorry Maya." Riley said with a huff squeezing Maya before breaking away and pulling her towards the couch.

" I'm such a bitch i can't believe i just ditched you there." Riley said hurriedly as they flounced down on the couch.

"I feel awful" Riley continued.

" I completely spaced. Lucas and i had this huge fight and i just bolted out of there and then he followed me and fought all the way home and then i justed to go bed and i didn't even think about you until this morning. I am so sorry. Did you get home okay?" Riley said all of this in a rush and then looked at Maya expectantly as if she thought her best friend was going to scold her.

The truth was that Maya had almost forgotten that Lucas and Riley had ditched her at the party the night before. It wasn't as if it had turned out catastrophic in anyway, in fact it was quite the opposite. In a weird way Maya was almost grateful for Riley's untimely exit.

"It's fine Riles. I get it. You had a bad night. Do you want to talk about it?" Maya prompted, watching Riley with concern. Riley let out a long sigh and Maya was mortified to see tears prick in her best friend eyes.

" It's just more of the same, well no actually that wrong. Its worse. We've been walking on eggshells around each other holding back all this bullshit for the past week. Then last night we both starting drinking and then flood gates opened. We just screamed at each other for what felt like forever. He said some really awful things, but i mean so did I….." Riley said drifting off, letting tears fall fully from her eyes.

"Riles..' Maya said reaching over and grabbing her friend's hand. It hurt Maya so much to see her friend hurting this way.

" I hate him." Riley said through her tears.

" But i don't want to hate him because i love him. I don't want to be around him but i don't want to loose him. I don't want to break up but i don't understand how we can stay together." Riley said the tears falling down her cheeks and over her chin.

Maya suddenly felt guilty for how happy she was that morning. How could she be so elated when her best friend was falling apart.

" Riley… we can't keep doing this. You can't keep doing this to yourself. I know it hurts, but it's just going to get worse. The two of you really really need to talk. Not fight, not make polite conversation. You need to talk. Because next year is right in front of us. We're graduating in two weeks. Life is starting, or it's starting over i guess. The two of you need to figure out what's really going to happen next year." Riley was looking down at her hands

" I know." Riley said softly.

" I know that we have to have the conversation. The real one. I've been avoiding it. I think we both have. It's why we fight so much. It's easier." Riley bite her lip.

" I know it's scary." Maya said.

"But it's time." She finished. Riley nodded and then leaned into Maya's side. Maya wrapped an arm protectively around her best friend.

" You're so mature." Riley said jokingly trying to break the tension she felt

"When did that happen?" Riley continued, poking fun at her best friend. Maya laughed and shrugged.

" it just comes naturally." Maya said in return with a smile.

"But hey the next time you see your Uncle you should remind him just how mature i am." Maya joked, cashing Riley to reach over and smack her with a pillow.

…

Riley didn't hang around the apartment very long before heading back down to her own bedroom. Riley needed time to figure out what she wanted to say to Lucas. Maya loved her best friend but that morning she was almost happy to see the back of her. Riley knew what she had to do and there was nothing else Maya could do to help her. It was time that Riley stood on her own two feet and figure out what to do about Lucas.

Maya was ready to spend the rest of her sunday on the carefree high she had been enjoying before. Her heart flitted in her chest as she wandered the apartment all day aimlessly just enjoying her happy state of mind. On occasion Maya would walk over to the window and stare down at the place on the sidewalk where she and Josh had stood the night before. Her heart leapt every time she thought about it.

When Shawn got home he seemed taken aback by her abnormally good mood. He rolled with it though, not one to question his daughter's happiness.

As Maya lay in bed that night she began to think out the math in her head. She would be graduating the friday after next. 12 days. So in reality it was less than two weeks. 12 days. She wondered if it would be completely pathetic to mark off the days on a calendar. It was a fast approaching dead line and Maya could hardly wait.


	45. Chapter 45

This chapter is a bit of a filler but it's all going somewhere! Thanks for all the support :)

Someday Soon Chapter 45

Maya was woken up the next morning by Hudson insistently licking her hand, which had fallen off the side of her bed and was dangling towards the ground. Maya stretched out her fingers trying as she squeezed her eyes shut one more time before finally opening them. She pulled back her arm and whipped off the dog slobber from her hand on her bed sheets.

Maya knew she should get up and start to get ready for the day but she continued to lay on her back, staring at the ceiling and letting the seconds and minutes drip by. It was monday morning, and while it had never been Maya's, or anyone's for that matter, favourite day of the week, this morning was different.

This was the final true monday morning left in Maya's high school career. There were still technically two weeks of school left, but the prom was that friday and the week following was made up of scattered exams for the upperclassmen rather than normally scheduled classes.

This would be the last normal monday. The final monday that Maya would roll out of bed and make her way to school. The final monday when she would spend too much time sitting at her locker and almost being late for homeroom. Everything would be the same as it had been for the past 144 odd mondays that Maya had spent in high school. Only this would be the last. But of course life couldn't be perfectly fair. It seemed that since this monday was the last it was destined to be anything but normal. When she glanced over at the clock on her nightstand she saw that it was barely six in the morning, over an hour earlier then when she would usually get up for school.

If this was a normal monday Maya would just roll over and go back to sleep for another hour and a half and then scramble out of bed at the last minute. But there was something about this morning that Maya know she wouldn't be able to get back to sleep no matter how hard she tried.

Maya sighed as she slide out of bed and felt her feet fit the cool wooden floors. Hudson attempted to wind himself around her ankles as she made her way over to her closet and pulled out suitable clothes for the day.

Maya was slightly worried as she dressed and got ready for school that morning. She hadn't spoken to Riley since the day before when Riley had come upstairs to apologize about the party on saturday night and re harsh her fight about Lucas for the millionth time. Maya and Riley had texted the night before as Riley sat in her bedroom and did everything but write out a script of what she wanted to say to Lucas that day. Both Riley and the Ranger had the final period of the day free and we're going to leave campus at lunch to "talk".

Maya knew her best friend was bound to be a nervous wreck that morning and all the way up until lunch. Maya just hoped that today would be the end of the ongoing telenovela that was the fate of Riley and Lucas mangled relationship. At this point Maya didn't care if Riley and Lucas declared their never ending love for eachother or decided to never speak again, she just wanted the whole monstrosity to be done and over with. Things had been so off and awkward between Riley and Lucas lately that it had thrown off the dynamics of the whole group. It wasn't exactly the ideal ending to senior year that Maya had been picturing. Hopefully today would fix all that, but that might just be positive thinking on Maya's behalf.

After showering, getting dressed and ready for the day Maya walked out into the rest of the apartment. Shawn was still asleep and no doubtedly would be for the next several hours, so Maya quietly fussed around the kitchen, getting Hudson fresh water and a bowl of kibble for breakfast and just generally killing time until it was time to head to school. Maya wasn't used to this. She never had extra time in the morning. She had always been more of a last minute scramble type of girl.

There was still half an hour before Maya needed to leave for school when she decided to duck out of the apartment. She couldn't handle tip toeing around anymore. She didn't want to wake Shawn up but she couldn't stand to sit in silence for a moment longer. She gathered up her books and shoved them into her school bag which she had tossed haphazardly by the door after school on friday.

She locked the door behind her and stashed her keys away in the pocket of the thin leather jacket she had thrown on as an afterthought. Maya had a lot of time to kill before she was supposed to meet Riley downstairs so they could head to school together. She briefly considered stopping by the Matthews apartment early and but in on their breakfast but decided against it.

Maya opted instead to head down to the main floor of the building and duck into the bakery. It had been open for a little over an hour and while most of the tables were empty there was a small line at the counter of people waiting for coffee. Maya joined the small queue and hummed quietly to herself. She could feel her knees shaking slightly as she stood in line.

There was something about this monday. This last real monday of high school. It was giving Maya a weird type of buzz. She could feel the countdown ticking away in her head and it gave her the jitters.

Once Maya got to the front of the line she ordered two lattes and two of the enormous chocolate and caramel muffins that were sitting in the display case. Maya took the small paper bag, pinned it under her arm and grabbed the two drinks. By the time she made it back onto the street Riley was already sitting on the stairs waiting for Maya to descend from upstairs.

"Morning sunshine." Maya said brightly handing Riley the coffee cup. Riley looked up in confusion, clearly expecting to see Maya. On a normal school day Riley would have been waiting at least another 15 minutes for Maya to appear.

" You're up early." Riley said, taking the coffee gratefully. Maya shrugged as Riley got to her feet.

"I know. We might even be on time for school." Maya said jokingly, linking her arm through Rileys as they stepped onto the street and headed towards the direction of the subway.

Maya felt her stomach twist slightly as they walked past the spot on the pavement where she and Josh had stood a few nights before.

 _You're being pathetic_ Maya thought to herself. What was she going to get butterflies every time she walked on concrete from now on? She needed to pull it together.

"Are you ready for today?" Maya asked through a mouthful of the muffin that she had pulled out of the bag.

Riley let out a long sigh.

" I guess so." She said wistfully, taking a long gulp of her coffee.

" There's really only two options. I mean either were going to stay together or we're going to break up, and when i look at it that way it's simple. Its yes or no. It's black and white. "

" You've really thought this all out haven't you?" Maya asked, almost amused about how much thought Riley had been putting into this.

" I've had the time." Riley said lightly, but Maya knew that Riley was putting up a good front. Riley was surely nervous about the approaching events of the day. No matter what she said this was a big deal.

Suddenly Riley came to a halt, pulling Maya back with her. This caused the coffee in her cup to slosh up and nearly stain the front of her shirt.

"Oh my god." Riley stammered a look of sheer panic on her face.

"What?" Maya asked watching Riley, suddenly nervous herself.

"Oh my god." Riley said again.

"Riley what?"

" I forgot about prom." Riley said her eyes wide.

" Pumpkin you bought your ticket over a month ago. I was there. Table 13." Maya reminded.

" No it's not the ticket it's Lucas! I forgot about Lucas!"

" How could you forget about him? It's all we've been talking about for the past 3 months." Maya said clearly confused and slightly exasperated.

" I forgot about prom AND Lucas! The two things. Together." Riley said as Maya pulled her forward.

" I'm sorry how do the two parties intersect?" Maya asked, still looking for clarification.

"He's supposed to be my date! What if we break up today? What do i do then? We can't still go together that would just be weird. So what we'll go separately and then I just won't have a date which will be fine and normal and not at all sad except for the fact that Lucas already bought a tie to match my dress. So we'll be matching but we won't be together and everyone will stare and think wow i wonder what's up with those two who match but are clearly not together!."

" Okay Riles breath. It's gonna be fine. We can fix this." Riley looked at her doubtingly.

" It'll just take a little rearranging. Smackle and Farkle are supposed to go together too and so are Zay and I but we can just swap. It's probably better this way. I mean who wants to pull out their old prom photos one day and point and say " look kids here's me and my ex boyfriend.' So we'll do this. You can go with Farkle, and Zay will go with Smackle, and i'll bite the bullet and go with the cow boy."

"But the ties!" Riley began to protest but Maya cut her off.

" They can trade ties." Maya said. Riley nodded and then re considered for a second.

" Wait why do we all have switch? Why can't Smackle and i just switch?" Riley pressed. Maya rolled her eyes.

" We could do that but i've always kind of got the vibe that Smackles always kind of held a torch for the ranger." Riley looked taken aback.

"Really?"

" Oh yeah."

"Huh." They walked a few more steps and then Riley came to a stop again.

" If you keep this up we're going to be late for school and we were really making good time this morning."

" Are you okay going with Lucas? I know you haven't been his biggest fan lately." It was true/ Maya had been less than impressed with Lucas over the past few month but had been doing her best to conceal it.

"It's fine. It's just a dance. It doesn't really matter who i go with." She stated as they continued down the street. A brief image of Josh flashed across her mind.

" I can't help but wonder if the could use another caperon though."


	46. Chapter 46

Someday Soon Chapter 46

 **AN: I apologize for my inconsistent updating! I wish i could be on a better schedule and i'll try and work on that in the future! Thank you all so much for your continued support of this story. A lot of people bailed after chapter 39/40 and i'm really grateful for all of you that stuck around. A special thank you to everyone who takes the time to leave a review. They really make my day! :)**

Maya had a lot of trouble focusing in her final class of the day. She was sitting at her desk in the back her english lit class room, tapping her pen against the table in front of her out of nerves and impatience.

Maya couldn't help but have her mind wander to what possibly could be happening between Riley and Lucas at that very moment. Riley had seemed adamant that this would be the conversation that would be the be all end all. She seemed set that the two of them would make a final decision on the fate and their relationship but would that actually happen? Would they be able to put aside all their frustrations and emotions and figure out what was really best for them. Maya wasn't sure but she really hoped so.

Maya wasn't sure what she was hoping to happen. Lucas may not have been Maya's favourite person over the past few months while so much had been going on with his relationship with Riley but he was still a good person. For a long time it had seemed that he was the right person for Riley but did that still ring true? Or would it be better if Riley and Lucas went their complete separate ways for college.

Maya just didn't want her best friend to get hurt. Riley mattered to her more than almost anyone or anything and all Maya wanted was the best for her.

Maya had had to hold herself back from going straight to the bay window the second she got home from school. She knew that when Riley was ready to talk she would come to her. There was a good chance that Riley wasn't even home from her " conversation" with Lucas yet. Surely it would take more than an hour and a half to decide the fate of a relationship that had spanned the majority of their high school careers.

Maya paced around the living room, wringing her hands as she waited for news. She couldn't believe how anxious she felt in that moment. It wasn't as if it was her own relationship that hung in the balance. But in a way it was. Riley was such an extension of herself that Riley's heartbreak became her own.

Maya felt her heart sink in her chest when Riley finally texted her. In a flash maya was out of her apartment, crawling out her bedroom window, down the fire escape and through Rileys bay window.

Riley was sitting on the window seat waiting for her but Maya couldn't read the expression on her face. Maya watched her carefully as she pulled herself through the window.

It was silent for a second before Maya couldn't take it.

"Well." Maya prompted.

"We're breaking up." Riley said simply in a way that someone might say that they were having soup for dinner. Maya felt her jaw go slack.

" but not yet.' Riley clarified causing Maya to recoil slightly in confusion.

"You've lost me." Maya stated, brushing her hair out of her face.

Riley shrugged.

" We talked about it for a long time and we just don't think that long distance would be good for us, at least not right now. We both need to focus on university and basically creating whole new lives in these new places. But september's still really far away, and despite all this we still love each other so we're putting off. When summers over, so are we but until then we're just going to enjoy it." Riley stated.

Maya stayed silent but nodded in recognition. She really wasn't sure how this was going to work out. How would Riley and Lucas function as a couple when they had a dark cloud looming over them the whole time. But it wasn't Maya's place to ask these questions. At least not at that moment.

Maya's silence seemed to prompt Riley forward in anxiety.

"Do you think that's stupid?" Riley asked, clearly having taken Maya's lack of input negatively.

" No! If it's what you think is right then that's all that matters." Maya said reassuringly.

" I think it's right." Riley stated.

" Or at least i hope it is."

….

" An expiration date?" Josh asked in slightly disbelief.

" Thats right." Maya said, leaning back so she was laying flat on her bed and staring at her ceiling. It was later night and Maya had called Josh to discuss what Riley had told her that afternoon. Josh had become more invested in the saga that was Riley and Lucas after he had gone to pick up Maya from that party. Maya had promised updates and she highly doubted that Riley would care that she was sharing this information with Josh. It wasn't as if it was anything truly scandalous.

" Well that's going to end in disaster." Josh stated.

" Not necessarily." Maya said, trying to remain optimistic although secretly she suspected that Josh was right.

". They both know what's going to happen, so maybe they'll just ride the wave out to the end." Maya suggested.

" and what? September 1st will roll around and they'll just shake hands and walk away? I don't see it. Something will happen before then. It'll get too tense." Josh said.

" its too much anticipation." He continued.

That last statement caused Maya to stop and think for a moment. The last few days of Maya's life had been lived in sheer anticipation. The next two weeks would be flooded with anticipation. Maya now realized that both herself and Riley would spend their days living in two very different states of anticipation.

Every time Maya had thought about Josh over the last two days her heart would begin to beat faster and her stomach would flutter slightly at the idea that soon something could happen. Maya's anticipation was building up to something that could be amazing and now Riley would surely begin feeling the opposite way.

Maya had something to look forward to, and Riley had something to dread.

" and anticipation is bad?" Maya asked, insinuating something with her tone in a slightly flirty way. Maya could almost hear Josh smile on the other end of the phone.

" Not always." he answered back.

" Two weeks." Maya said wistfully before she could stop herself. She clapped her hand over her mouth, unable to believe she had said that outloud.

"Less." Josh answered, causing Maya's stomach to flutter once again.

 **That's it for this chapter! I know it wasn't the most exciting but big things are coming in the next chapters! Prom, Graduation and so much more drama! Thanks for reading! 3**


	47. Chapter 47

Someday Soon Chapter 47

 **Thank you all once again! The sheer amount of support that was shelled out for the last chapter meant so much to me. I want to apologize again for how bad i am at updating on a regular schedule and keeping up a routine of chapter lengths. I'm trying my best but i am a deeply flawed person. Thank you so much again and i hope you're all enjoying.**

The issue with having Prom at the end of the final school week was that no one seemed to be able to focus in class for more than a few moments before chatter would break out about the upcoming event. Abigail Adams high school didn't have a junior prom, nor many formals so the senior exclusive prom was what most students looked forward to for their entire high school career.

Many of the girls worried loudly about their nail appointments or how their hair was going to turn out while groups of guys complained about the tuxes they would have to suffer through wearing, while secretly being just as concerned about their appearance as the girls.

Maya wasn't overly concerned about the whole thing. Riley had been practicing different makeup and hair styles on her for months, making sure they got it right, and Maya was confident in Riley's new abilities.

The two had had their dresses picked out for months and Maya's was currently hanging on the back of her closet door. She remembered the day that she and Riley had gone with Topanga to a shop for their dresses at a boutique on the east side.

Maya had been overwhelmed by the sheer number of choices stuffed onto what seemed like endless racks of gowns. She had Riley had spent all morning and a chunk of the afternoon trying on gown after gown while Topanga tried her best to give her honest opinion without being cruel.

It had been fun at first trying on dress after dress, some so ridiculous that Maya could hardly believe anyone would consider buying them. But after a while an odd feeling began to settle over Maya, like a wet blanket over her shoulders, dampening her mood.

This was the type of thing her mother would have loved. She could almost picture Katy sitting out there beside Riley's mom, the two of them tucked together and giggling, snapping photos of their daughters in heavily rhinestones two piece prom gowns, accented with multi coloured feathers.

But that's all Maya could do. Almost picture it. She had trouble conjuring her mother's face clearly in her mind. It was always fuzzy around the edges and never seemed quite right. Maya looked at pictures all the time but nothing could change the fact that she was going on years since she had seen her mother's face in person, and she never would again. She felt a constant pang in her chest knowing that she would never again be able to clearly conjure a picture of Katys face in her mind purely from memory.

Maya thought that Topanga could sense that something was up with her as the next time she emerged from the dressing room Topanga walked up to stand next to her. She wrapped her arm around Maya's shoulder and watched her in the reflection in the three broad mirrors in front of them. Maya thought she could see her eyes going glassy with that could be unfallen tears. Maya leaned her head against Topanga's and closed her eyes for just a moment.

It was these brief moments of comfort that let Maya know that she wasn't completely motherless in this world.

…

In the end Maya and Riley had both settled on dresses as different as the two best friend were in appearance. Riley had settled on a blush full skirt chiffon dress with a series of intense beading and insets of crystals. It was the type of dress that shone and sparkled with the slightest of movements. It didn't take much for the gown to catch the light.

Maya's dress was more understated but equally as beautiful. It was a deep wine coloured purple gown made of a soft satin. The top was a triangle top held up by two thin straps. The skirt stayed loosely fitted to her body until it let out slightly at the knees and flowed down to brush the floor. A delicate beaded belt sat just under her sternum. It was overall a very simple dress, but to Maya it felt just right.

The dress had come back from its final fitting a little over a month earlier and had been hanging on her closet door ever since. Every time maya walked past it she felt a simultaneous pang and flutter in her chest. The end of her high school career was coming to a close and the next chapter of her life was soon to be opening. In a way the dress represented all of that. It was a piece of the puzzle to be set into place, and the time was coming closer.

…..

"Ouch!" Maya yelped. Riley at been doing up the clasp to the thin silver chain that was the only jewelry Maya had chosen to wear to the prom. It wasn't overly flashy but Maya liked the way it looked with her dress. The clasp had caught in her hair and as Riley had gone it up pulled tightly on it.

"Sorry!" Riley zipped hurrying to fix her mistake.

"This wouldn't have happened if you'd just worn your hair up like i wanted you to." Riley said, poking at her friend.

The two had been getting ready for the evening in Riley's bedroom for the past two hours, and for the last 45 minutes Riley had been trying to convince Maya to let her put her hair up into some elaborate contraption. Riley herself, with some assistance from both her mother and Maya, had wrapped her hair up into such a thing that almost appeared to be a braided crown. Maya had declined however, she felt more comfortable with her hair down. She had conceded to allow Riley to sweep a few pieces of her hair back away from her face in delicate braids and twists. The rest of her hair fell simply in soft curls.

" I hardly recognize us." Maya said quietly as she and Riley stood in front of the full length mirror that leaned against the wall of Riley's bedroom. It was the same mirror that the two had sat infront of learning to apply eye liner and put in their own earrings. Could that have been only a few years ago? It seemed so far away now.

Suddenly standing in front of them in the mirror were two young women. Two girls who were grown and had the world at their feet. Maya took Riley's hand and gave it a tight squeeze as they stood there in front of the mirror and stared at their reflections. Maya was excited for all that stood before them, but part of her mourned for the little girls they were leaving behind.

….

Most of the actual prom passed in a blur of Maya. The event was being held in a ballroom at a large historic hotel downtown. The ceiling of the room alone would have been enough to keep Maya entranced all night. It was so ornate and detailed that she spent a large chunk of the dinner craning her neck upwards as to examine it.

The courses were all served in succession and Maya could hardly blink between plates by the time the food arrived. Maya didn't know how they were all expected to eat so much and then go out and dance. But by the time the music started it wasn't long until their whole table and most of those around them had vacated their seats and headed out onto the dance floor.

The whole graduating class danced together to whatever upbeat music the dj at the front of the room decided to blast over the speakers. At one point Farkle had been spinning both Riley and Maya to the point that the two girls got so dizzy that the three of them all ended up falling together into a heap of laughter in the middle of the dance floor.

Maya didn't have a ton of school spirit but this was something that she thought Abigail Adams got right.

….

An after party was being held at someone's parents loft in tribeca, so after the prom started to disperse Maya's group headed back to the apartment to change out of their dresses and tuxes and into something more comfortable for the party.

The group had chosen Maya's apartment for home base as no one was home. Shawn had been there that afternoon to take photos and try to hold back tears but had left for a travel assignment out west after the group had headed off to the prom.

Hudson was excitedly scampering around everyone's ankles once they got into the apartment. The little dog was thrilled at all the action that was going on around them. Maya ducked into her bedroom and closed the door behind her. She knew she was supposed to be getting changed but she needed a moment.

She slide open her window and climbed out onto her fire escape still in her prom dress. She let the unseasonably warm night air lap against her skin and took a few deep breathes.

"Aren't you supposed to be off somewhere dancing the night away?" asked a voice from somewhere below her. Maya startled, taking a step back and almost tripping on the train of her dress.

Maya looked down over the rail of the fire escape to see that Josh was standing on the fire escape outside of Riley's room.

" You scared me." Maya said brushing all her hair over one shoulder out of nervous habit.

" how was babysitting?" Maya asked, leaning her elbows against the metal rail. Cory and Topanga had volunteered to chaperone the prom and needed someone to watch Auggie for the night. Auggie, who was 11 and every grown up, hadn't loved the idea.

"It wasn't babysitting. We were hanging out." Josh said, putting air quotes around the last two words.

Maya shrugged her shoulders and smiled down at him.

" Done dancing?" Josh prompted.

" We just came back to get changed. Big after party don't you know." Maya explained. Josh smirked at her.

" You know your brothers on the way home to relieve you from your duties. You should come" Maya said before she could stop herself.

"As fun as that would be, i'd hate to be that old guy crashing a high school party." This time it was Maya's turn to smirk at Josh.

"Still. Keep your phone on. You never know if i might need rescuing." She joked as she climbed back through her bedroom window.


	48. Chapter 48

Someday Soon Chapter 48

AN: Hey everyone! Sorry that it's been almost a week again but you know how it is. Thank you all again for all the support. I know i've been saying it a lot lately but i'm truly extremely grateful for it. Every view and review really makes my day. I know my updates are short and infrequent but believe it or not i'm really trying to do my best for you guys. xx. I won't keep you waiting any longer.

Maya tried to repress a groan as she filled out the study sheets in front of her. It was late monday afternoon and Maya was held up in a sleepy coffee shop a few blocks away from her apartment, attempting to study for her final exams. Of the five classes she had been talking her final semester only three had exams. She hadn't had a scheduled exam that day or the next, but had a test on wednesday and two on thursday. Friday was of course the day of the graduation ceremony.

Graduation loomed like a spotlight in the distance, a finish line she was just about to cross. The only thing that stood between her and her diploma were just three little tests. But right now they didn't seem so little.

Maya's grades had been pretty steady throughout high school. She wasn't the shining student but her marks were all solid and in a few classes she even excelled. Maya had never really had much test anxiety, besides the intense nerves she had got before her SATs but something about this week's exams felt differen. Maya think she knew why.

" I just can't focus." Maya said with a huff, reaching out for the mug in front of her and bringing it to her lips.

"All that coffee probably isn't helping" Josh jokingly pointed out.

Maya was on her third cup and they'd barely been there an hour. Josh had just gotten off work at the school board and had agreed to meet Maya and help her prepare for her math exam that wednesday. It was the test Maya was most nervous about. She was in one of the more standard math classes that the school offered, nothing complex like calculus but the formulas and problem solving techniques didn't stick in her head the way that history or literary structure did.

Maya let out another groan and let her head fall to the table.

"Come on. You're going to be fine." Josh encouraged, prodding her with a pencil in an attempt to bring her back from the edge. Maya brought her head up off the table but she didn't look anymore enthuzed. Infact Josh could see the panic growing in her eyes and he could almost feel the anxiety she must feel in her chest in his own stomach.

" but what if i'm not? What if i mess it all up and they don't let me graduate? I have to graduate Josh. I have to. I have to go to college. No one in my family made it past high school. I'm supposed to be different i'm supposed to change that, but what if I what if i.." Josh could see that Maya was working herself up to the point where tears could fall at any second. He reached across the table and took Maya's hand, squeezing it tightly.

"Hey, hey, take a second here. You're going to graduate, his test is basically just a formality. Nothing to stress about." Josh held eye contact with Maya across the table, still holding her hand. He took large deep clear breaths, in almost an exaggerated way until he saw that Maya's breathing had slowed and was now matching his.

Suddenly Maya snatched her hand away and scoffed at him.

" You were shrinking me again!" she accused, leaning back in her chair and pretending to be offended. Josh smirked at her.

" It's just too easy."

….

It was late friday morning and Maya was standing in front of the full length mirror that hung on the back of her bedroom door, examining her reflection. Her long blonde hair was falling down her body in loose curls and stood out against the black of the black shift dress she had picked out to wear under her graduation robe.

Maya was thankful that the day had finally arrived. She had made it through her exams and now all that was left to do was walk across the stage.

The freshman, junior, and senior students all still had school that day, but the Seniors had the day off, until 3 pm when they would all gather and wait for the ceremony to begin.

Maya's fingers ghosted over the delicate gold necklace her mother had given her for her birthday all those years ago. She pressed the thin chain between her fingers and rolled the metal back and forth over the pads of her finger tips. She reached up and slipped the necklace under her shift dress so it was pressed against her skin. She wanted her mother to feel close that day. Katy couldn't be there in person, but the feeling of the cold petal pendant against her skin made her feel like she was carrying a little piece of her mother around with her.

A soft knock sounded against Maya's bedroom door as Shawn poked his head into her room.

"Ready kid?" He asked, looking at her with a face full of anticipation and excitement. Maya smiled back at him and nodded. Within minutes Shawn and Maya had made their way up to the roof top terrace of their building where the Matthews and the rest of Maya and Riley's friends and families were gathered. They had all gathered there to take pictures of the group in their caps and gowns before the ceremony.

In theory they shouldn't have had access to their graduation gowns yet, but Cory had used his connections at the school to gain access to the gowns early. So instead of getting their gowns twenty minutes before walking across the stage and having to take photos in the schools gym like everyone else, the group got off easy.

So against the background of east village roof tops the group had gathered to take photos. They took photos in every combination of groupings. Maya and Riley together. Maya and Shawn. Riley and her parents. Riley, her parents, Shawn, and Maya. Zay and Lucas. The whole group together with the camera perched on the ledge with the timer function set. In the hectic rush of taking all the photos Maya almost forgot to feel nervous about the fact that in a few hours her would be a high school graduate and a whole new chapter of her life would be starting.

….

Maya's head had been swimming so much that she barely remembered walking across the stage and accepting her diploma. She did however remember looking out over the sea of faces in the crowed and somehow picking out Shawn's face from all of them. He had been beaming with so much pride that Maya felt her heart swell in her chest.

Maya's ears rang so much as the crowd roared up when it was finally time for the graduating class to stand up and throw their caps into the air in celebration of their new found freedom. Before Maya knew what was happening the crowed was disbursing all around her, and suddenly Riley's arms were around her neck and the two were hugging and crying as riley shrieked in her ear that they had done it. They had graduated.

Despite all the pictures that had been taken on the rooftop before the ceremony it wasn't over yet. There were still more shots needed. Everyone had returned their official graduation robes but the caps were theirs to keep. Nearly the whole graduating class moved to a nearby park to take more pictures with their friends and family before the sun started to disappear from the sky.

The crowd was filled with people wearing their navy blue graduation caps topped with the bright yellow tassel. After taking so many pictures that Maya's face started to hurt she began to mill through the crowd. Riley had disappeared with Lucas somewhere and Shawn was caught up in conversation with Cory and Riley grandpa Alan. Maya would never admit it if anyone asked her but she was definitely looking for Josh as she moved through the crowd. But it didn't take long for Josh to find her.

" Congratulations!" Josh beamed at her when he finally appeared in front of her. He pulled her into a hug and Maya tried not to sigh into his chest as his arms wrapped tightly around her.

"Thanks." Maya said bashfully, looking down at her shoes out of embarrassment, causing her tassel to fall into her face. In Maya's perfect world Josh would be kissing her by now. She had been graduated for a whole 20 minutes so why had he not immediately jumped her bones? Maya knew that she needed to be patient and play it cool, Josh would come to her when he was ready, and by then she would be more than willing.

But as Josh reached over to her to move the tassel away from her face and his fingers brushed gently across her cheek Maya was almost sure this was the moment. Sure that he was about to lean in and connect their lips and then they'd ride off into the sunset together or some romantic crap like that.

But as Josh shifted to move closer to her something over Josh's shoulder caught Maya's eye. Maya's heart, that had been fluttering like crazy from Josh's touch suddenly dropped in her chest.

"Holy shit." Maya said, grabbing onto Josh's arm and forcefully turning him to face the same direction as her.

"Holy shit" Josh echoed as he caught sight of what had caught Maya so off guard. A few hundred yards across the park stood Riley and Lucas, except that Riley was the only one standing. Lucas was on one knee in the ground in front of her, clutching what looked to be a ring box in his hand. Maya had to lean against Josh's arm for support. She couldn't believe what she was seeing.

But even from a distance Maya would see that Riley's face wasn't full of joy but panic. She was backing away slowly until she turned and broke into a full run. Maya took a step to follow her but she was still clutching onto Josh's arm. She turned to look at him.

"You're coming to the graduation party tomorrow right?" She asked. Maya and Riley were having a joint graduation party at the Matthews apartment the next day. Josh nodded. Maya shot him a genuine smile.

"Good. I'll see you then." She said as an almost promise. She squeezed his arm, and then turned and broke out in a run after her best friend.


	49. Chapter 49

Someday Soon Chapter 49

Maya had a few things working against her in that moment. For one Riley had a good head start. By the time that Maya had turned away from Josh Riley was well over half way across the park and heading for the street. The other issue being that Maya was unfortunately wearing a substantial heel for the occasion. As Maya dashed across the field the tiny block heel she was wearing would sink into the grass causing her to nearly lose her balance. If she wasn't careful she might break her ankle. She thought about slipping off her shoes so that she could full on dash through the field after Riley but this was new york. There was a decent chance that there might be used needles or a patch of broken glass in the grass around her, and she really didn't feel like getting hepatitis C that day.

What Maya did have going for her was that Riley had no endurance. Riley was thin as a sheet and could fly like the wind but only for a few stretches at a time. Riley wasn't made for distance running and Maya had to take advantage of that. It took Maya only a few minutes to catch up with Riley in the middle of the sidewalk just up the street from the park.

Riley was wheezing slightly and Maya wasn't entirely sure if it was from running half a block or the fact that she was surely in utter shock about the fact that the boyfriend she was supposed to break up with by the end of the summer had just asked her to marry him.

Maya caught onto Riley's arm, causing her to swing back around to face her. Riley's face was full of panic that subsidized slightly when she saw that it was Maya who had followed her. Had she been worried that it was Lucas coming after her? Maya had flown past Lucas on her pursuit of Riley and he had seemed so stunned that Maya wouldn't doubt that he was still standing in the same spot.

"Oh my god." Riley breathed out heavily, her chest heaving up and down.

"Lucas just"

"I know." Maya cut in.

" I saw" . Riley let out a sigh, clearly grateful that she didn't have to fully explain what had happened.

" I mean what the fuck just happened?" Riley asked, her eyes brimming with tears. Riley didn't often swear, so hearing the word coming out of her mouth sounded sharp and harsh, giving severity to the situation. Riley brought her hands up to cover her mouth before letting them fall, almost seemingly angry or frustrated down.

"Why would he do this?" Riley said in exasperation, running her hands through her hair and pulling down on it out of frustration.

"Why would he think this was a good idea? Were supposed to break up in two months!" She half screamed. Silent tears were streaming down Riley's cheeks now.

" and then today suddenly he was talking about maybe transferring to Pitt next year, or that i could come to texas and then suddenly he was on one knee and i was _running._ " Riley explained, putting an emphasis on the final word.

"You didn't say anything?" Maya prompted, thinking about how Lucas could be taking Riley running away in fear as just her saying she needed a second to think about it. He could very well be expecting for her to return in 20 minutes with balloons.

"Well as he was getting down on one knee i kept saying, stop, what are you going, oh my god stop and then i ran away so i'm really hoping he took that as a no." Tears were still flowing down Riley's face and Maya was doing her best to hold back her own water works. Maya hated that this happy day had become so complicated and heart breaking for her best friend.

"It's like he's trying to force us into being my parents." Riley said, a sob catching in her throat. Maya knew that Riley's parents had gotten engaged at their own high school graduation. But Cory and topanga were special. Not every couple could transition from school yard sweethearts to a married couple in university, and at this point in Riley and Lucas's l didn't seem like they would be one of them. Suddenly the mention of her parents seemed to kick start something in Riley's mind.

"Oh my god do you think my parents saw?" Riley asked, her hand flying to her chest as if her heart had stopped beating in her chest.

"I don't think so." Maya said in a rush, wanting to comfort her.

"They were talking with Shawn and your grandparents. They seemed pretty distracted." Maya offered.

" I thought that this was figure out." Riley said quietly, suddenly shifting from angry and frustrated to broken down and defeated. Maya wrapped her arms around her best friend and pulled her in close.

They were in the middle of the sidewalk of a busy street. People were pushing past them and lots of people shot them dirty looks. But Maya didn't care. Her best friend needed her, and she would gladly stand there all day.

…..

Maya woke up the next morning utterly exhausted. She and Riley had been up half the night going over and over the events of the previous day, as well as analysing every argument Lucas and Riley had had in the past six months. Maya would never complain but there was a part of her that was utterly disappointed. She hadn't thought that Riley and Lucas's expiration date was going to lead to anything good but she had thought that she might have at least a few weeks that were free of the constant drama that revolved around her best friend and her on and off boyfriend.

Maya glanced over at her best friend and was glad to see that she was sleeping soundly. The pillow that Riley had her head resting on now was coated with dried tears that Riley had been crying on and off all night.

Maya snuck out of bed as silently as possible. She wanted Riley to get as much rest as possible. Dozens of their friends and family members would be gathered in the apartment downstairs in just a few hours to celebrate their graduation. The whole ordeal would mean a lot of smiling and making mindless small talk, not exactly something you'd look forward to after spending the majority of the night before in tears.

Maya slowly and silently shut her bedroom door behind her and turned to face the living room in front of her.

"You're just in time for coffee." Shawn said softly from across the apartment. Maya happily padded over and took a seat at the breakfast bar, gladly accepting the steaming cup of coffee that Shawn had placed in front of her.

"God bless you." Maya said gratefully.

"Rough night?" Shawn asked, looking at her with a mixture of amusement and concern. Maya nodded.

" How much did you hear?" Maya asked sheepishly. There had been a few points in the night where Riley's sadness had boiled over into anger, at one point a lamp had been knocked off a side table and went smashing to the floor. Riley had spent the next 7 minutes apologizing profusely and promising to replace it before launching back into her rants. Shawn shot her a look.

"Enough." He stated. He paused, as if trying to decide if he should press forward of not.

" What happened yesterday?" He asked carefully. Maya took a breath, trying to decide what to say, but before she got the chance Shawn spoke again.

" Did Lucas ask her to-"

"Yes." Maya answered before Shawn had the chance to finish the sentence.

" God that is so Topanga."

" I know." Maya said, mirroring his exasperation.

"And did she say-" He continued

" No." Maya finished for him.

" and is he still going to come today?" Shawn pressed. Maya felt her stomach sink a little. Lucas had obviously been invited to the grad party ahead of time. Would he still dare to show up? And if he did would he stir up trouble? Would he take Riley aside and demand a proper answer to the previous day's question. Maya wouldn't think that Lucas would do something like that but she also hadn't expected him to propose to Riley.

"I have no idea." She answered honestly. She and Shawn shared a look. They both knew that they were surely in for quite the day.

…

A few hours later Shawn, Maya and Riley were downstairs in the Matthews apartment. They were all apart of an assembly line putting together the appetizers for the graduation party that would be starting in less than an hour. Topanga was running around trying to get the apartment ready for the groups of friends and families to arrive. She had spread out cocktail napkins along every flat surface, hung a painfully hand painted congratulations Riley and Maya across the wall that ran parallel to the kitchen.

Topanga was so busy getting the apartment ready for their party guests that she didn't notice how uneasy her daughter was or how Riley and Maya kept sharing knowing anxious looks. Maya had already promised that if Lucas showed up she would deal with him. Riley knew that she had to deal with the Lucas drama eventually, and soon, but not on that day.

After 40 minutes of putting together appetizers and pushing around furniture to make room for more seating and access to the food, the group was finally ready.

Maya drifted over to the side of the apartment where three photo covered posters had been hung up. The first poster was plastered with photos of Riley growing up, from baby photos to a picture that had been taken a few weeks ago. On the other side was a poster covered with photos of Maya around the same age. Between the two posters was the poster covered in photos of Riley and Maya together, spanning from when they were little girls to the present. Maya's attention as drawn to the poster with photos of her. Not because she was a vapid narcissist but because every other photo contained the image of her mother. She smiled sadly having to resist the urge to reach out and graze her finger along one the image of her mother's face. She hated to think what Topanga would say if she caught site of a finger smudged photo.

Shawn came to stand next to her and wrapped an arm around her shoulders. He squeezed her shoulders and pressed a kiss to her forehead. Maya leaned her head against her shoulder. She knew what they were both thinking. That they wished Katy was there.

" God look at the time." Topanga said in slight shock.

" people are going to start arriving any minute. You girls should go get ready." Topanga rushed on. Both Maya and Riley were dressed in oversized t shirts and gym shorts. They'd been busy all morning getting the apartment ready and hadn't had the chance to pull themselves together for the day's festivities.

They retreated back to Riley's room. Riley headed straight for her closet while Maya headed for the window. She climbed out onto the fire escape and scurried up the tiny set of metal stairs before climbing through her own bedroom window.

There was about 15 minutes until everyone was set to arrive at the party down stairs, but Maya figured she was allowed to be fashionably late to her own party. She switched on her curling iron and headed to her bathroom to watch her face.

After putting on her makeup and curling the ends of her long blond hair she turned to her closet. It was unseasonably warm for june in New York City so Maya found herself gravitating towards the small selection of sun dresses stuffed into the corner of her closet. She ended up settling on a pale blue that hung off her shoulders. It had long bell sleeves that brushed against her wrists and the circle skirt came to a stop at her mid thighs. It wasn't something her grandmother would approve of but it was the type of dress that made Maya feel almost unreasonably confident.

She had just finished clasping on her necklace when she heard a knock against her bedroom window.

Maya whirled around and her heart immediately jumped in her chest. Josh was crouched on the fire escape, knocking on her bedroom window. Maya rushed over to her window and pulled up the glass.

"The rooms starting to fill up down there." He said in lieu of hello.

"People are wondering where you are." He said in an attempt at breeziness. Did people mean him? Had he been wondering where she was? Was that why he'd come up to her room to find her?

" Maybe I like to keep people waiting. It builds the anticipation." She stated, trying to remain her composure. Was it her imagination or was he staring at her lips? Was she making that up? Was it just wishful thinking?

"Well I couldn't take it. I didn't want to wait to give you your gift." He explained, reaching into her pocket and pulling out a small box, wrapped in a vibrant blue paper. Did he seem nervous? She was definitely nervous. Should she be nervous? Was there something to be nervous about? But was he nervous?

Maya's thoughts were running a million miles a minute.

She took the box from his outstretched hand and carefully peeled back the wrapping paper. A small velvet box emerged from the paper. Maya looked up at Josh who was watching her carefully. Okay, Maya decided, he was definitely nervous. She turned her attention back to the gift in her hand.

She tried to keep her hands from visibly shaking as she reached up to pull the box open. Her breath caught in her inside was a small delicate gold bar that was connected by a thin chain. The bar was engraved with a set of numbers.

"Its today's date." Josh explained, looking at the necklace in Maya's hand rather than directly at her.

"Because in theory today could be…" but he didn't have to say it. Today could be someday. If that's what she wanted. If that's what he wanted.

" I mean it doesn't have to be, I don't want to assume anything or-" but Maya cut him off. In a single step Maya had closed the space between them. Her hand moved to rest behind his neck and she reached up on her tiptoes and pulled his mouth to hers.

AN: Ahhhhh! There it is! It's kind of cheesy but honestly i love cheese. I'm going to be honest in my mind I always kind of pictured ending the story here, at graduation but then i got to thinking. I love romantic comedies and contemporary ya books. I love the slow build up to the big kiss, but i'm always left wanting more. I want to see what happens after the kiss. I want to see the relationship. So what the hell. I'm going to keep writing this ish. Thank you so much to everyone who's still reading this thing. I love you guys but not in a weird way. Your support and reviews mean a lot to me. I know i say that a lot but i really mean it. I got a few questions about the logic of the whole graduation aspect of this story, (Shout out to you skyefull for the insanely long review. Rant away. Yes Riley is a cockblock) Yes maya and josh could have legally been together a long time ago. Like a long time ago, but to me that wasn't the point. I was trying to think of it logically from Josh's point of view ( or at least my josh's point of view) I think Josh would like to think of himself as a stand up guy but who also cares about what people think of him. To Josh there was just something that wasn't right about dating a girl who was in high school ( i'm not saying that it's wrong for people who are out of high school to date people who are in high school. This is just Josh's thinking or my thinking for Josh). Being a college graduate it would have just seemed wrong to Josh to be with someone who was still in high school. As my mom says, everything changes once you're both in college, age doesn't matter so much. It wasn't about maturity. Maya is obviously very mature. She grew up fast. Anyway those are just some of my thoughts. Thanks for reading and i hope you're up for more!

Also to PurpleKitKat whose review i saw seconds before posting this: here's a hint. Look out for both your ships in future chapters.


	50. Chapter 50

Someday Soon Chapter 50

AN: Hey guys! I am so so sorry for the long wait for an update! Things are crazy with school right now. Only one month till summer though so hang in there! Despite all the work i've spent a lot of time thinking about where i want to take this story and I think i've come up with a lot of fun/dramatic ideas. Thank you all so much for being so patient and continuing to stick with this story! It means a lot to me xx J

Maya wasn't breathing. She'd stopped breathing the moment she had made the bold step forward towards Josh and pulled his lips to hers. It didn't matter. Her lungs didn't burn and it wasn't the lack of oxygen that had was making her head spin. Kissing Josh was better than oxygen, better than cold fresh air after being stuck inside a stuffy hot room all day. Maya could feel Josh and her own lips moving against one another's, feel his hands on her waist and feel his hair wrapped in her fingers, but still she could already believe this was real.

But it was. This wasn't a half drunken kiss shared a few minutes after midnight or one intended for the cheek that had caught the corner of her mouth. No. It was real. She and Josh were standing alone in her bedroom, wrapped in each other embrace. He had just offered her someday, and she had taken it.

Kissing Josh felt different. Like it was the first real kiss she had ever had. When they broke apart Maya immediately felt the loss, but Josh didn't go far. His nose was still brushing against hers, his face still looking down so that they were staring into each other's eyes. A second past without either of them saying anything, Maya could feel her heartbeating feverishly inside her chest, and then both of their faces broke into ear splitting grins. Maya couldn't help herself and and laugh escaped her chest. She felt so elated and lost in that moment that a bus could have probably crashed into an oil tanker on the street below and sent flames shooting into the air and singed her bedroom window and she probably wouldn't have noticed.

A sharp tap at her bedroom window frightened them both and sent them jumping backwards apart from each other. Auggie was crouched at her bedroom window, gesturing wildly at her and pointing to the floor below. He had clearly been sent to find her and encourage her to come down to the party. Maya waved him away, letting him know that the message had been received.

Auggie had given no sign of recognition that there was anything odd about the fact that Josh was in her room with her and she assumed that it was a safe bet that Auggie wouldn't mention it to anyone. Not that it was a secret. Should it be a secret? Would anyone be weirded out that she and josh were…. What? Dating? Starting their epic love story? Maya didn't know but she felt like this probably wasn't the perfect time to mention it. Not with so much family around. Not when she and Josh hadn't had the chance to talk about specifics yet.

What was she supposed to do? Go flouncing downstair with Josh in tow, in her disheveled dress and her flushed face and say

"Hi grandma! Nice to see you! Thanks for the cheque. Now will you excuse me, i'm going to go make out with my new boyfriend in the laundry room."

No that wouldn't do. For the time being it would probably be smart not to say anything about what had happened with Josh. The grad party needed to be about her and Riley and celebrating their graduation, not about her and Josh.

Maya let out a small laugh as she reached up to wipe away the lipstick that had been smeared around Josh's mouth. She had picked some day to wear red lipstick.

" You look ridiculous." She stated with a grin, pressing her thumb into his skin in an attempt to get the colour off the area around his mouth. Josh rolled his eyes at her, but was still grinning.

" We should probably get down there." Maya said, her fingers still on his face although all the lipstick had been wiped away.

" I hear it's rude to skip out on your own party." She joked. The necklace he had given her was hanging off her fingers. She raised it up in the space between them.

" Can you help me?" She asked holding the necklace out to him. Josh took it from her. She turned around and pulled all of her hair to one side of her body. Josh undid the clasp and reached around her so that the chain rested gently on her neck. His fingers grazed against the skin of her neck and her shoulders as he fiddled with the clasp of the necklace until it finally catches.

The necklace rested against her skin and sat just above the locket her mother had given her. The two chains and pendants complimented each other and Maya felt her heart flutter as she brought her hand up to rest of the piece of jewelry. She turned around to face Josh, still beaming.

"Thank you. It's perfect.' She said genuinely. She could feel the potential for tears to prick her eyes but she quickly blinked them away. She had no time for that.

" We should go." She said, taking his hand and pulling him towards the window. She checked her reflection in the mirror as they past and quickly shook out her hair and wiped away the little bit of lipstick that had smeared around her mouth.

She was still holding onto Josh's hand as she climbed out of her bedroom window and out onto the fire escape. They began to climb down the set of skin meal stairs and towards the Matthews apartment, when something caught Maya's eye.

Lucas was cutting through the Alley below them, clearly on his way to the front of the apartment building to head up to the party.

"Lucas!" Maya called, hanging over the side of fire escape to get a better look at him.

Lucas stopped walking and looked up at her, genuinely surprised.

"What are you doing?" She called down to him, her voice full of concern.

Lucas looked up at her confused.

" Today's the party and i thought that Riley and i could" but Maya cut him off.

" Dont." She said. But it wasn't a command. It was more like a plead.

"Don't do this. Not today. I know what happened with you two yesterday, and i know you guys have a lot to deal with but don't do it here. Not in front of her whole family and all our friends. Just please-" Maya let out a sigh.

" Just go home." She pleaded. Maya wasn't heartless. She felt bad for him. He must have been truly desperate ( or delusional) to think that proposing to Riley was a good idea. Maya knew he must be confused and hurting but he wasn't her main concern. Riley was her person. She would do whatever she needed to do to protect her.

Lucas looked up at her and she could see that he was hurt. But he nodded and slowly turned around, heading back down the way he had come.

Maya let out a long breath. Josh was standing on the step above her looking from the ground to Maya on the step below him.

" So yesterday, that really was him proposing?" Josh asked, sounding slightly incredulous.

" Yeah. Crazy I know." Maya said, walking down the remaining steps and pulling open Riley's bedroom window. Maya climbed through first and Josh followed her.

They both came to a stop before they made it to the door. Maya turned to look at him.

" Maybe you should wait in here for a few minutes." Maya suggested, afraid that she had offended him. But Josh just smiled at her and nodded. He reached out and brushed a piece of hair behind her ear.

"I'll see you out there." He said and in a flash he had reached down and pressed a quick kiss to her mouth.

Maya was slightly dazed as she turned, pulled open the door and walked out into the party.


	51. Chapter 51

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 **AN: I am so sorry i haven't been updating. I know where i want to take this story but i'm having a lot of issues getting there. Thank you all for sticking through this! 3 This is short but at least it's something**

 **IMPORTANT NOTE: AS seen in previous chapters i'm not following the hart family thread exactly. Aka changing katys parents.**

"Riles you can stop stressing ." Maya hissed through her teeth, keeping a charming smile seared over her face. Maya had been mingling around the party for about an hour, saying hello to her few relatives and family friends, making polite small talk and thanking people for gifts she had yet to open.

Maya hadn't had much time to speak to Riley since she and Josh had come down from her bedroom. Every time that Maya had looked across the room and caught sight of Riley her best friend had been throwing nervous looks at the front door, clearly anticipating the moment that Lucas would walk through it.

Maya had slowly made her way across the room until she had finally made it to Riley's side.

"He's not coming. You can breath now." She promised, trying to comfort her. Riley looked at her uneasily.

"How do you know?" Riley pushed looking between her friend and the front door.

" Just trust me." Maya stated, reaching down and taking Riley's hand, giving it a brief squeeze. Riley was still looking at her uneasily, unsure of how Maya could be so confident.

Maya didn't want to share with Riley that Lucas had actually been there and been on his way up. This was a stress that Riley could deal with another day.

"Nice necklace." Riley stated, suddenly distracted. Staring at the chain hanging around Maya's neck.

Maya's hand flew up to her throat to rest on the necklace that hadn't been there an hour before. Maya knew that Riley's next question would be about where she got it, and that wasn't something Maya felt like answering right now. Things with Josh had never been so simple, but at the same time they had never been so complicated. Maya didn't want to tell Riley anything until she was sure she had something to tell. Or more specifically what exactly she had to tell.

"Thanks" Maya said self consciously and quickly changing the subject.

" Do you think your mom has any more of that Hummus dip?" Maya asked quickly, turning away from Riley and peering over her shoulder towards the table where the lunch spread was laid out.

Riley narrowed her eyes at her but decided to let it go. She knew Maya would come clean eventually, and besides, Riley had bigger fish to fry at the moment.

Maya tried to retain her composure for the rest of the party, mingling around the Matthews apartment. She spent nearly an hour talking to her Grandmother, dancing around the more awkward subjects. Maya's relationship with her grandmother had never been perfect, mostly because Katys relationship with her mother had never been strong.

Katy had moved away from home young, married a man who wasn't good enough for her, and had a child when she wasn't ready. Her grandmother had not approved and she and Katy often went long periods of time without talking. Maya saw her grandmother once or twice a year although she only lived a few hours away.

Things between Katy and her mother hadn't been great towards the end of her life either. Her grandma had never approved of Shawn, thinking that Katy had rushed into another marriage that would only end in heartbreak. Her grandmother hadn't attended the wedding, and hadn't sat with Shawn and Maya at the funeral.

Then there had been the tense few days after Katys death when Maya's grandma had been trying to get Maya to move to Delaware and live with her. Her grandmother, Angie, had been very resentful of her grand daughter choosing to live with her new minted step father other her own flesh and blood. Then it had been Maya and her grandmothers turn not to talk for a few months.

Things were...okay with them now. Her grandmother and her husband had made the drive up from Delaware for her graduation and had written her a generous cheque as a gift. Still things were slightly off between them as they stood together in the middle of the party, sipping at the fruit punch that Topanga had been perfecting for the past 12 years.

Everyone once and awhile Maya would look across the room and catch Josh's eye. He would smile knowingly at her and she would feel her face flush as she shot him a shy smile back. The necklace seemed to tingle against her skin as she reached up absentmindedly to touch it. There was part of her that wished that they were still upstairs in her room, just the two of them, with his hands on her hips and her fingers brushing through his hair. She wanted to sigh thinking about it. Those few minutes in her room and been some of the most exciting, yet simple of her life. It was like something in her life had fallen into place. Something she thought might have been missing but never had been sure about.

But seeing Josh smile at her across the party and remembering how it felt to have his arms around her just a few minutes before, made her more certain than she had ever been in her whole life.

….

Maya and Josh hadn't really spoken again that day. They had said a quick goodbye as everyone was leaving but with a hole group watching it was nothing more than a simple wave of a hand and a quick smile.

But once she got back up to her room and unlocked her phone she saw that she had a text message, and she didn't need to look to know who it was from.

…

Going to the movies with Josh shouldn't have been a big deal. They did it all the time. See mid afternoon matinees on the weekends. But that had always been as friends. They saw movies too lame or obscure to see with anyone besides each other. They saw films based on books they had read at the others suggestion.

Now they were seeing a movie as what? Not friends. But they didn't have any other label for it, at least not yet.

This wasn't a normal thing for them. For starters this wasn't a matinee. Not that that should really matter. But there was something about the movies at night, the typical date spot that made Maya's stomach flop.

She had always found a certain comfort in going to the movies. Sitting in a dark theatre with the sound blasting around her, the screen so large that it felt as if it could swallow her up at any moment.

A few days after her mother had died Maya had spent the whole day in the movie theatre. It had been one of the instances when she couldn't stand to be in the apartment but couldn't have stomached going to school. Most of those days she'd just spent wandering the street, but that day it happened to rain. She'd walked around in it for a while, letting the water soak through her thin coat and drench through to her skin. She'd started to shake from the cold and ducked into the first place she'd saw, which happened to be a theatre.

She bought a ticket to the first thing that was playing and stayed there the rest of the day. She sat at the very back, her head resting against the wall. She'd watched the same movie a few times in a row before it had switched over to a new film. It hadn't mattered. She wasn't watching anyway. It was just a dark place to sit, where for a minute everything had felt normal, and everything had felt safe.

So in that sense, maybe the movies was the perfect spot for a first date.


	52. Chapter 52

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 **Okay I am awful. It's been forever since i've updated, are you ready for my excuses? First it was school and exams but that's over now, then i was on vacation and not thinking about this story at all which is totally unfair to all of you. But i'm back at home now and ready to put some effort back into this story. Thank you to all of you who have stuck around and for those little reminder reviews asking me for updates. You jogged my memory and my inspiration. I'll do the best i can for all of you and i hope it's enough 3.**

 **EDIT: I guess notifications for this chapter didn't go out? Reposting to check. Another new chapter tonight (hopefully haha)**

As the lights in the movie theatre went down Maya felt as if a set of metal bars had slammed down on her chest, slowly squeezing tighter and tighter with every breath she took. Why was she so nervous? This was Josh. The Josh she had grown up around at christmases and thanksgivings. The boy she had spent countless hours with over the past two years. She had cried to him after her mother's diagnosis, he had held her hand after Katys burial, held her during a thunderstorm and kissed her the way she had never been kissed just the day before in the bedroom where she had spent many nights dreaming about him.

But still, this was Josh. The Josh she had fantasised about for years, someone she had built up in her head. What if their friendship didn't translate well into a relationship? What if this whole thing went sideways and things became so awkward that they couldn't even look at each other. Besides Riley Josh was probably the closest friend she had. With Riley moving to Pennsylvania at the end of the summer, she couldn't afford to lose Josh to.

Maya tried to shake all the negative thoughts out of her head as the trailers began to play on the screen in front of them. Maya took a few more deep breathes. She and Josh had seen a million movies before this one. Surely this would good just as smoothly. Maybe Maya was just being pessimistic. Nothing was going to go wrong.

The armrest between their two seats and been left down and neither one of them had lifted it when they had sat down. But they were leaning towards each other, whispering and laughing quietly at the movie planning on the screen before them. _There_ , Maya thought definitely as she and Josh laughed with her heads together, _nothing to it._ It was just like any other time that she had Josh had seen a movie together, laughing and talking quietly, sitting at the back as to not bother any of the other movie goers. But there was something different. Both their elbows rested on the same armrest, brushing against one another as they leaned together to whisper. Every time their arms touched, even through the layers of clothing Maya felt her skin ignite with a tingling fire that had her heart pound a little faster.

During a particularly amusing part of the movie both Josh and Maya had hardly been able to contain themselves laughing, both leaning heavily into it, towards one another, their sides digging into the armrest as they doubled over. As they straightened up a bit Josh looked at her, his face still amused but his eyes slightly more serious.

" Do you mind if i put this up?' He asked, closing his fingers around the end of the arm rest and beginning to pull it up slightly, just waiting for permission.

" it's killing my ribs." Josh started, offering reason.

Maya nodded and let just push the arm rest up between their seats and out of the way. True, her side was sore as well from leaning heavily against the armrest to whisper to Josh but the act of pushing up the barrier between them didn't seem like it was purely for the purpose of comfort. Now when they moved closer to speak in hushed tones they she pressing against one another and not a metal armrest coated with a flimsy layer of foam and cheap fake leather that was easy for the theatre staff to wipe down after all the movie goers left the theatre.

At some point after the armrest between them had been pull up Josh had snaked his arm around Maya's back, draping it softly over her shoulders. He hadn't tried to pull that cool guy casual move where he faked a yawn and his hand just so happened to land on her shoulders. Instead it felt as if it had happened naturally. Maya had leaned forward, doubling over after something outrageous that Josh had said. When she had sat back up she felt Josh's arm across her shoulders. She had smiled to herself when it had happened.

They had both edged as close to one another as they could be, the small crack between their seats covered by their legs that were bouncing off one another as they moved and shifted as they laughed and leaned into one another. Their faces were so close that Maya could smell the hypnotic scent of Josh's breath that was sweet from the box of Mike and Ikes that they had shared, the box long since abandoned at their feet.

Maya's head spun slightly as she sat there, a comindiation of exhaustion from laughing, and euphoria from having Josh so close. Her mind skipped back to the memories of the day before when Josh had asked her to go to the movies with him the following day.

The graduation party had wound down and the vast majority of the guests had filed out of the apartment, offering their polite thank yous and final congratulations. Josh had stuck around, helping his brother and the rest of the family clean up the aftermath of the get together. Maya and Shawn had remained as well to aid in the clean up.

Maya was back in the laundry room, her foot on a shelf in an attempt to get a boost up in order to reach the bottle of disinfectant that Topanga had spent her back there for, that was just out of her reach.

" I've got it." Said a voice from behind her. Maya twisted to see Josh entering the room, dragging the ancient latter that had been used to hang up a banner that had read _Congratulations Riley and Maya._ Josh tucked the latter in its spot in the crevice between the washing machine and the wall and used the three inches of height he held over her to reach the desired bottle on the top most shelf.

"Thanks." Maya said, taking the bottle from him and looking down at the label rather than up at Josh. Maya was very conscious of the fact that this was the first time that she and Josh had been alone together since they had kissed in a floor above in her room. It had only been a few hours before but the tension that had been building up between them in that short period of time was enough to have Maya heart beat out of her chest. They had opened a door between them. A world of possibilities sat before them now, but what came next?

There was a few beats of silence, the two not looking at one another. Maya glanced up at him and through him a quick smile before side stepping to get around him in the narrow space, headed for the door to return back to the main room where Topanga was no doubtedly waiting impatiently for the cleaner she needed to properly wipe down the solid oak coffee table that was covered in crumbs from chips and tiny globs of avocado dip and hummus.

"Maya?" Josh said from behind her. She turned quickly to face him, unable to keep the nervous expectancy from her face.

"Yeah?" She said, embarrassed how her voice had become so breathy.

" Um, West of Wayward is playing tomorrow night at the Angelika and i was wondering if" Maya didn't even give him the chance to finish his sentence. She jumped on his words, her excitement almost embarrassing.

"Yes. " Josh's face broke into a smile that nearly spread from one ear to the other. Maya had beamed back at him and then turned to exit the room before he could change his mind, hoping he hadn't noticed just how deeply she had blushed.

And then there they were. In a dark theatre huddled so close together that their breath mingled together and their bodies were twisted nearly completely sideways so that their chests were nearly pressed together.

The end of the movie was drawing near and at a crucial point both Josh and Maya glanced at eachother for a reaction. Their gaze connected, and despite the dark Maya could almost see every detail of his face. The soft slope of his nose, his kind eyes, the exact shape of his lips. His arm had dropped from around her shoulders to around her waist, pulling her even closer although that was hardly possible. His other hand had reached up to cradle her face, his thumb brushing along the skin of her cheek.

It was a cliche. A couple of teenagers making out at the back of a dark movie theatre. Not able to keep their hormones in check for the length of an hour and forty five minute film. But this felt somehow different. The theatre was nearly empty, the movie had been out for almost a month and there were maybe twelve other people in the whole place, all seated in scattered bunches at least fifteen rows in front of them. It wasn't a feverish kiss, something to do in the dark to pass the time in a boring movie.

It started soft and slow, as if Josh wasn't sure if she would reject him, as if Maya hadn't sprang on him in her bedroom the day before. He had leaned into her slowly as if seeking permission before his lips met hers. Maya leaned into him, her eyes closed, no longer caring about the movie playing out on the screen in front of her. The feeling of Josh's hands on her back pulling her closer and the movement of his lips against her causing her head to go blank and her heart to lift out of her chest and take flight in the kind of happiness she wasn't sure she had ever experienced before. The skin of his neck was soft against her fingers and she had to stop herself from pushing her fingers under the neckline of Josh's tee shirt to graze against the muscles of his shoulders and back.

Maya's whole body felt as if it were tingling and could catch on fire at any moment. She never wanted to credits of the movie to roll and the lights in the theatre to go up. She wanted to sit there in the dark with Josh wrapped around her, and that was all. This was the kind of happiness she wanted to hold on to. Little did she know of the storm that was waiting for her at home, and the hurricane that was approaching from just over state lines.

 **Here we go! Back in action! Thank you for all the support! Sorry once again!**


	53. Chapter 53

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 **Okay so i had the majority of this chapter written WEEKS ago but i just could not put an ending on it for the life of me. I'm stalled out. I'm trying. I'm really sorry. This is short. Again sorry. Ugh.**

Maya wasn't one hundred percent sure how the movie ended. The score had been good at least. The songs that played on screen would sure be stuck in her head for the rest of the day if not the week. It wasn't until the lights went up in the theatre and the sounds of the other movie goers standing up and gathering their belongs, shoving their trash into empty popcorn buckets, and pulling on their jackets that Josh and Maya broke apart. Maya could feel herself flushing as she tucked her hair behind her ears and began to pull her own jacket on as Josh stood up, straightening his own shirt and offering Maya his hand as soon as she stood up.

He lead her out of the theatre and into the crowded lobby where people stood in lines waiting for popcorn or tickets to the next late night showing. They weaved their way through the crowds of people and out onto the street in front of the theatre. The movie had let out just after ten but the late June air was decently warm so Josh and Maya opted to walk the few extra blocks and through the park back to Maya's apartment.

They strolled down the streets, their way relatively clear. New York was usually active every day of the week but there was something about that particular monday that saw the streets not teaming with its normal amount of life.

As they walked Maya thought about other nights she and Josh might have like this. Summer in New York City was always hot and sweaty and generally pretty miserable but it was also generally pretty quiet. Come July and August many New Yorkers seeked fled from the stinking hot city to the cooler comfort of the Hamptons or the Cape, if they could afford it. Long weekends turned manhattan into a ghost town.

Maya could handle the sweltering heat and the less than clean streets if it meant that she could spend the whole summer walking around with her hand in Josh's.

They walked through Washington square park and past the NYU campus and residence buildings. Maya paused for a moment, looking up at the building that used to be Josh's home. She thought of her cramped dorm room. She thought of the night she had slept in his bed after he had pulled her out of a party. That had been the first and only night she had ever been on drugs, not knowing that she was taking them at first, but continuing to participate afterwards. Maya had gone to that party alone and ended up hanging around with a group of girls from the grade above her. They had offered her a glass of punch and she had taken it. It was only after her first gulp that they'd told her it was probably laced with oxy or E. She had been horrified at first the girls had promised her that it was fine, gushing about how great she'd feel. One of them had described it as her whole body going numb.

Maya had taken another gulp at that sentiment. It had been a few weeks since her mother had died and she would have taken anything to make the ache in her heart stop.

She probably would have ended up under a table or in some senior boys bedroom if Josh hadn't happened to have been at the same party and basically dragged her out of there by her ear. She had woken up in his room the next day with the very worst hangover of her life. She had never felt so much shame in her life, but she also never felt so much gratitude. Josh had a affinity for being around when she needed him.

She had spent one other night in his room, after he had taken her to Jersey to see Kermit. They had eaten pizza in bed and fallen asleep watching episodes of their favourite show, crammed together in his too small bed. It was a room Maya had laughed in and cried in but now it was someone else's room. Some NYU freshmen had moved in their clothes and hung up their posters. Maya had always felt it was a safe place, and now it was someone else's. Maya turned her head east towards avenue A where Josh's new apartment was. A place she had already spent the night, a place he had already made her feel safe.

The next year would be different. Josh would be uptown at Columbia and Maya would be doing her best to tread water at Hudson until she figured out what she really wanted and for the first time in their lives Riley and Maya would be living more than a few blocks apart. Maya couldn't lie. The mere thought of the next year scared her more than most anything else. But as she looked down at her hand intertwined with Josh's she felt that she knew at least one thing for sure.

They wandered slowly through the streets until they came to a stop in front of Maya's apartment building. It was so odd to think that only a few weeks before she and Josh had stood in the very same spot waiting for a moment just like this one. Waiting for the moment where they could hold hands in public and go to a movie that wasn't at two in the afternoon.

It was getting late. Maya and Josh said goodnight and Maya could feel her heart pounding in her chest as she walked up the front steps of her building and then began the three floor treck up to her apartment. She felt giddy and almost like she was high. Like she was viewing the world through a pair of tinted rose coloured glasses.

Her abnormally good mood came to a screeching halt when she turned her key in her apartment door and was greeted by a intense screeching which sounded like a wailing cat. Before she could even take a step of into the apartment Shawn was in front of her looking distressed. His hair was extremely ruffled as though he had been running his hands through it or pulling on the ends out of stress or frustration.

" She won't stop." He stated, his eyes wide and bloodshot as though he had been rubbing them with a closed fist.

" What?" Maya asked in confusion, dropping her bag onto the chair by front door and shrugging off her coat.

"Who won't stop?" Maya pressed, shrinking backward against the door as a particularly loud cry came from what she thought might be the direction of her bedroom. All at once she knew exactly who Shawn was talking about before he could get any words out. It was Riley. It had to be Riley. Something had clearly happened to make her best friend fall into a fit of anguish and Maya didn't have to think very hard to know why. Shawn had started talking but Maya had almost tuned him out.

" She turned up a couple of hours ago in a fit, and her parents aren't home. She doesn't want to talk to me. She's just been in your room, waiting for you." Shawn spoke as he walked across the room and bent over to scoop up Hudson, who had been hiding under the couch, most likely in an attempt to block out some of the noise.

" So you go talk to her, and I'll take Huddy here for a walk before both our ears start to bleed" Shawn started, giving her shoulder a squeeze before slipping out the door leaving Maya to tend to the situation. Maya sighed, kicked off her shoes, and padded barefoot towards her bedroom. Despite the fact that is was her room she almost felt as though she should knock. She eased the door open, knowing exactly what she would find.

Riley was curled under the covers of Maya's bed, her body heaving with the power of her sobs. Riley glanced up when she heard Maya enter the room and Maya saw how bloodshot and swollen her eyes were.

Maya let her shoulders go slack. All the air left her chest in a single breath.

"Pumpkin." She strided over to her bed and folded herself over on one of her legs, resting against her hip.

Riley flipped over so they were facing one another. Her chest was still shaking and her breaths were still heavy, but her sobbing had stopped. Riley had to focus for a moment on taking a few deep breathes before she could speak. Her fists were held up to her chest as if she were clutching something in her grasp.

"He made me keep it." Riley said, her voice barely above a whisper.

Maya narrowed her eyes, unsure of what Riley meant. Before she could ask Riley relaxed her hand and let her palm fall flat so Maya could see what she had been clutching. In Riley's hand was a thin gold band a small stone set into the metal. It wasn't a large of expensive ring. Maya thought that Lucas had probably found it in a pawn shop somewhere, it wasn't as if he could afford anything else.

"I went to see him today. To talk. Tell him why. Why we can't get married why it's crazy. God if you could have seen his face." Rileys breath caught for a second and her lungs rattled.

" It was like i stabbed him. Like i took a knife and plunged it into his chest." Riley's eyes were filling with tears again.

"And then he made me take the ring. He said he picked it out for me, and that there was nothing for him to do with it." Riley let out another rattling breath.

" and now what do i do with it? Put it away in some drawer and let it haunt me?"

Maya didn't want to say what she was thinking, that Riley was probably better off throwing the ring into the east river than letting it gather dust in her bedside table and weigh on her mind.

Maya wrapped arms around Riley and let her best friend fall apart all over again in her arms. Maya could only guess at the emotions that were coursing through her friends mind. The guilt, the grief, the anger, the loss, the relief. They sat together in Maya's bed for who knows how long. It took a long time for the tears to stop and for Riley to go limp.

The two best friends laid flat on their backs, still holding hands. It had been quiet for a long time now.

"I guess this is how we're going to spend our summer huh" Riley said, her voice slightly hoarse from crying.

"The two of us, sad, pathetic, single." Maya felt her whole body go stiff with Riley's words. Riley continued to speak while Maya's head began to spin a million miles a minute.

" Or i guess i'll be handling the majority of the sad and pathetic, and we can split duties on the single front." Riley took a breath.

"I mean it's not going to be so bad right? You've been single forever and you're fine." Maya let out an uneasy laugh as she continued to stare up at the ceiling.

"Yeah… right." It was suddenly Maya who was overwhelmed with her own guilt. What was she supposed to say now. How was she supposed to tell her best friend that they weren't going to be spending the summer sad and single as a unit. How was she supposed to tell Riley that her whole world was coming together when Rileys was falling apart?


	54. Chapter 54

_Hey. I'm over it. Whatever. No one is going to be happy with this all the time. That's life. More to follow. Haha._

Someday Soon Chapter 54

Maya had spent a few days avoiding everyone. Ok so she was exactly avoiding them, but for once she was grateful for their absence. Riley had fled to Philadelphia for the week in hopes of avoiding any chance contact with Lucas. Shawn had been working longer hours for the past few weeks, always apologizing profusely to Maya and promising to make it up to her.

She told him she didn't mind. She could keep herself busy around the apartment with Hudson to keep her company. Riley had wanted her to come to Philadelphia with her but Maya had quickly made up an excuse about appointments in the city that she couldn't miss. She couldn't stand the idea of being held up with Riley all day everyday for a week, having to stare into her best friend's face and keep a secret that she didn't know how to tell. There was a very select number of things that Maya had never confided in her best friend in. Most of those things were secrets that she kept even from herself.

Maya tried to find some comfort in the thought that maybe there wasn't really anything to tell. So she had kissed Josh. She'd done that before and hadn't felt the need to spill her guts to Riley. So they had gone to the movies. They did that all the time. Nothing new there. But this was different. This didn't feel like just going to movies as a couple of friends. This felt like it was leading somewhere. To something. This wasn't the kind of thing she should be keeping for Riles. But she couldn't get the idea of Riley, curled up on her bed dried tears streaking her face holding onto the fact that at least both she and Maya were single and could spend their whole summer being lazy and lonely together. How could Maya just take that away from her?

Maybe she could hold off. Not pursue anything with Josh until September when Riley had moved to Pennsylvania, gotten settled, started to move on. That would be the kind thing to do. But could she be that deceitful? More importantly, could she really stay away from Josh for that long? Logically she could. They had gone years just being friends, waiting a few more months shouldn't be that hard. But in her heart Maya knew she couldn't do it. Not now that she really knew what it was like to have him hold her hand, and to kiss her. It was hard enough staying away from him now.

Maya hadn't seen Josh in the few days since they had gone to the movies and she had come home to find Riley camped out in her bed. Josh had called her the following day but she had let her phone go to voicemail, and had only answered his texts with vague sentiments about being busy and calling him back in a few days or something along those lines. She wasn't sure what to do, and she wasn't sure she wanted to face him until she had it all sorted out.

It was going on five days of wandering around her apartment with Hudson on her heels trying to figure out what to do. When Riley called, she let her babble on mindlessly, half listening, her wind still wandering wildly. It felt kind of weird not talking to Josh every day. He hadn't texted her in the last few days and in the back of her head she was starting to get worried. Was he just giving her space? Did he think she was blowing him off? Had he gotten bored? Decided she wasn't worth it? Now Maya's mind of churning these possibilities together and driving herself even more crazy than before. Rather than letting it continue to chew away at her she grabbed her bag and her keys from the hook by the door and set out from her apartment onto the streets.

It was early saturday morning, only around 9 am. The sun wasn't high in the sky yet so the air was comfortably cool, although by mid afternoon the sun would be beating down on the pavement making being outside a miserable affair. Maya walked down the sidewalk at a quick pace, keeping in steps with the hoards on the streets around her hurried on their way. She took the subway over towards the east village and after some time turned onto Avenue A.

Maya wandered up the street towards Josh's apartment building, ducking into a deli and picking up bagels and cheap coffee, not wanting to show up to Josh's apartment unannounced and empty handed.

She ducked under the awning of Josh's building and was about to press the button to buzz up to his apartment when the door opened in front of her, causing her to step back to avoid getting hit in the face with the heavy metal frame. The tenant to came out of the building muttered an apology to Maya and pushed the door further open so she could entre while he exited. So much for security, Maya thought to herself as she hurried through the door of the building and towards the staircase towards the back of the lobby.

It was an older building and a walk up, so by the time she reached Josh's door on the fourth floor she was slightly ashamed to be out of breath. She had the paper bag containing the bagels pinned under her left arm and was holding the two coffees. Josh's apartment didn't have a doorbell but rather a brass door knocker. Maya didn't have a free hand so rather than placing the coffee on the floor beside the door frame, she reached out with her foot and have the door a few swift kicks with the flat of her foot, hoping the wrapping was loud enough for Josh to hear it. It was before 10 am and a saturday, there was a chance that she would be catching him still in bed.

She waited for a minute, listening for any movement behind the door. After a moment she heard shuffling approaching the door. For a second Maya panicked. What was she doing here? Showing up with zero notice. What if he didn't want to see her? God she hadn't even buzzed the door. But before she could put any more thought into it the door cracked open in front of her. The chain lock pulled taunt as Josh peaked through the crack to see who is unexpected visitor was.

Maya could only see a fraction of his face through the crack on the door but she saw his expression shift between hesitation and confusing to shock and what she thought might even be excitement.

The door closed for a split second and Maya heard the jangle of the lock and chain coming loose from the door before it was flung open again.

Josh had clearly rolled out of bed recently if not moments ago. His hair was disheveled and his eyes slightly squinting as if they hadn't yet adjusted to the morning light.

"Hey." Maya began.

" I was just.." she was about to say 'in the area' but what excuse would she have to be in the east village this early on a saturday. She let out a sigh and started again.

" I just wanted to see you." She admitted. Josh smiled at her, and opened the door wider so she could come in.

" and grab these bagels i'm about to drop them." Maya added, settling into her regular self. She felt all the tension release from her shoulders now that she felt more confidant that Josh was happy to see her.

She placed the coffee on his kitchen counter and when she turned around Josh was standing right in front of her, smiling down at her in a way that drove her crazy. Maya couldn't help herself. She pressed up on her tippy toes and placed her hands on his shoulder, reaching up to kiss him.

She couldn't believe that this was something that she in theory could do now. Maya felt Josh's arms slip around her waist.

" So you do still like me." Josh's said against her lips, pulling her closer against his chest.

Maya leaned back so that she could look at his face. She narrowed her eyes at him.

"What are you talking about." She asked playfully, interlocking her fingers behind his neck.

"Well you basically ghosted me after our date last week."

Maya tried to stifle a laugh and resist the urge to roll her eyes.

"It wasn't intentional." Maya defended. " but we do sort of have a problem." Maya admitted. Josh narrowed his eyes at her

"What's that?" He asked.

"Grab the bagels. It's a long story."


	55. Chapter 55

**Hey everyone. I'm ready to put all the drama behind me. Just to be clear I'm not saying that the reviews i got expressing people's disappointment were hate. Those are just your opinions. I'm entitled to make choices with my story and you're entitled to fucking hate them. I did however get some very very aggressive PMs. That's what i was refering to ( i should have been more clear) Those discouraged me. I'm not saying i'm mad at people's disappointment. I've read stories and quit reading stories when I didn't love where they went.**

 **I just want to go continue on with this story. I feel like i've come so far since that part of the story and there's so much more I want to do. If you're done you're done (although i assume if you're done you're not still reading this.) I hope for those of you who stick around i can recreate some of the lost 'magic'. I just want to focus on the future of this story. I hope you're all willing to go along with that with me. I've got more to give yet :) Here's another little snippet.**

 **All love.**

 **Chapter 55:**

" and what am i supposed to do? She's just laying there on my bed in the fetal position with her sad little kicked puppy dog face and my heart just melts. I'm like putty in her hands. What am i supposed to do? So we wallow for two days, which is excuse number one for why i didn't call, then she leaves to Philly and i'm left alone with this stream of thoughts she'd poured into my head about her misery and the only reason that she'll survive the summer is because we'll be together and single and blah blah blah, excuse number two why i didn't call."

Maya knew that she'd been blabbering. She and Josh were perched on his couch, the bag of bagels torn open between them, Josh's coffee long since drank but Maya still sitting half full and luke warm on the coffee table. She'd been talking so much that she had hardly had time to drink it.

Josh was a good sport. He sat, mostly in silence and let Maya tell her story in full. He could tell that she'd been keeping this all pent up for a while and clearly needed to get it off her chest.

" So you can see my problem." Maya concluded, leaning back briefly against the couch cushions for the briefest of moments before springing forward again, a continuing thought coming to her mind.

" or maybe i don't have a problem. Am i being presumptuous here? I mean so we've kissed a few times. We went to the movies once, it's not like we're engaged. I mean i don't even know what we're doing! Maybe it's nothing, maybe-" but the rest of Maya's sentence was lost as Josh had leaned forward, snaking his hand around the back of her neck and pulling her towards him.

For a blissful moment Maya's head went completely blank when Josh's lips made contact with hers. She melted into his touch, completely losing her train of thought as he held her, his hand dropping from behind her neck to wrap tightly around her waist.

Josh pulled back from her slightly, enough to look into her eyes.

" It's not nothing." He stated, looking at her seriously.

" Not to me." Maya blushed, looking down at her lap rather than returning Josh's gaze. She gave him a playful shove.

"Then what do i do? What do we do? He's your niece! I'm not alone in this." Josh just laughed at her. Maya gave him another shove.

"This is serious!"

" I know I know." Josh defended trying to be serious but still struggling to keep a smirk off his face.

" I mean there's a simple solution." Maya said pushing away from him and starting to get up from the couch.

" I can just leave here and go run around the city single with Riley for the summer and i'll talk to you in September." She teased, acting as if she were about to make for the door.

" Oh no you don't." Josh said, reaching out and grabbing Maya's wrist to pull her back. Maya flopped back down onto the couch and Josh pulled her against him, her back resting against his chest. His arm was draped over her and their fingers were interlocked.

It was as if now that Josh had deemed it appropriate for him to be more physical with Maya, he wanted to spent almost every moment touching her. Before graduation they had shared the occasional hug, held hands on occasion, twice woken up tangled together and shared one stolen kiss a few minutes after midnight on a long lost new years eve. Now he could hold her in his arms, touch her hair, kiss her whenever the idea struck him. This suited Maya just fine.

"What do i do?" Maya pressed, leaning back and getting comfortable in Josh's arms.

" I mean how do i tell her? How do i bring this up casually? Like 'Hey Riles how was Philly? That's nice. Now listen. I know you've got this whole single summer thing planned out but i think i'm kind of sort of dating your uncle so like that's going to have to be a you thing.' because i'm sure that will go over really well."

Maya let out a heavy sigh.

" I just feel like i'm lying to her. I mean technically i've just withheld the truth but with Riley it just feels… different. We tell each other everything, i mean almost everything, but she's just gone through this whole traumatic break up and this almost feels like i'm just rubbing her face in it."

Josh thought for a second.

" What if i asked her." he offered. Maya scooted back a bit so she could crane her neck back to look at him. She narrowed her eyes, making it clear that she wasn't sure what he meant.

" Look, technically nothing's really happened here yet. In the grand scheme of things at least. So what if I go and talk to Riley about it. Set it on the table. See how she feels. She's your best friend. No matter how she feels personally right now she;s going to be happy for you. I mean come on you've basically been obsessed with me for years."

Maya scoffed at him, nuding him hard in the ribs with her elbow.

" I was not obsessed! Don't flatter yourself." She defended. Josh rolled his eyes at her.

" You used to jump on me when I entered a room." Maya didn't really have a comeback to that. Josh let out a laugh and bent his head to press a kiss to her forehead.

" So you're going to ask Riley for her permission?" Maya asked slightly amused.

" If that's what's easiest." Josh said with a shrug.

" It's not like us being together is going to keep you two apart. I don't doubt that i'll have to fight her for your affection but I think we can both handle that." Maya thought about it for a moment. Josh still had a job. It wasn't like she was going to be with him for every minute of every day. There was plenty of room in her life for both of them. After a moment Maya spoke again.

" So, are you going to ask my dad for permission to? " Maya asked trying to keep the smug and amused smile from showing on her face.

" Oh god." Josh said, letting his head fall back against the couch.

" I hadn't even thought of that."


	56. Chapter 56

SS Chapter 56

Before today Josh couldn't ever imagine a time when Riley would make him nervous. Why would she?Despite only being three years young Josh had always thought of Riley as his baby niece. The world's sweetest kid. Why would she ever make him nervous? But as Josh walked up the street towards his brothers apartment where Riley was waiting for him, his hands were jittery from the nerves he felt. He had texted Riley that morning asking if she wanted to get a cup of coffee with him. She had agreed but Josh got the sense that she knew that something was up. Josh and Riley were more than happy to hang out during holidays or other get togethers, but rarely hung out outside of family functions. Over the past few years Riley had spent the majority of her free time either with Maya or with Lucas. On the opposite end, a lot of the time that Maya hadn't spent with Riley had been spent with Josh. Josh felt rather awkward about the situation he had gotten himself into. Going to his niece for permission to date her best friend wasn't exactly on the top of the list of things he wanted to do, but dating Maya was, and this was a step he had to take to make that happen.

Still he felt his nerves getting the best of him as he got closer and closer to the family apartment. Josh knew logically that there was no reason that this conversation with Riley shouldn't go smoothly. There wasn't a selfish or vindictive bone in Riley's body. Josh knew that Riley would always choose what was best for her best friend. But what if Josh wasn't it? Would Riley think that he and Maya were a good fit? Would she think that he was good enough for Maya? Would she think it was weird? That Josh was too old? That changing their relationship from friends to more was a mistake? He had played it off cool when talking to her. He didn't want to let Maya see the shreds of doubt he felt in himself. He knew that talking to Riley could be make or break the situation.

Riley's opinion would always matter to Maya, and Maya would always do anything in her power to keep her best friend happy. For a minute Josh had let his mind wander into the easiest scenario. The selfish part of him wished that he and Maya could just keep this a secret. At least for a little while. Wouldn't it be the simplest solution to just sneak around for a few weeks, at least while they were still figuring out the dynamics of what their relationship was and what it could be? Riley wouldn't get her feelings hurt about any notion of abandonment from Maya and Josh would get to keep this new connection to Maya to himself for a while. A little secret that he would enjoy uninterrupted.

But in his head he knew that wasn't an option. He could only imagine the downfall if Riley were to discover that they kept something like that from her. The hurt and the betrayal would be enough to send both Riley and Maya into a headspin and Josh wasn't willing to put their friendship at that kind of risk. So there he was, about to walk into what was sure to be one of the most awkward conversations of his life. But he knew it would be worth it, if it made Maya happy. If it meant that they could be together.

Josh paused for a moment at the door to the cafe. He took a second to collect himself, taking a deep breath before pushing open the heavy oak and glass door, setting the bell latched above it ringing.

Riley, who was seated at one of the high tables in the corner, looked up at the sound of the bell. She smiled when she saw him, and waved Josh over to where she sat. There were two large mugs of coffee already set at the table in front of her.

Josh greeted his niece and took a seat on the stool across from her, tucking himself in at the table and pulling the cup Riley had ordered for him closer to himself.

"Thanks for meeting me." Josh started, looking down at the coffee in his cup rather than into Riley's face. Riley just smiled at him.

"I think I have an idea of what this is about." Riley stated, watching him carefully with a slight smirk on her face.

"You do?" Josh asked, looking up at her with a mixture of confusion and doubtfulness. Riley shook her head, smiling down at her hands in a knowing way.

" Let me guess, It's about Maya right?" Riley asked, lifting her cup from the table and bringing it to her lips.

Josh felt the hair on his arm stand on end at Riley's words. Riley gained satisfaction at the look that came over Josh's face. The satisfaction reached her lips as her smirk turned into a knowing smile.

" I know i've kind of been wrapped up in my own drama the past few months. I mean I spent the majority of the last year either drunk, fighting with my boyfriend, or crying but I wasn't completely out to lunch. I do still have some observational skills. You and Maya have been getting closer for a while now and while i was a little distracted at graduation, I kind of sensed a shift."

Riley paused as if she was waiting for Josh to say something. When he remained silent she continued on.

" But then Maya didn't say anything so i thought maybe i had imagined it. Then the whole Lucus thing finally imploded and my world was a little full to worry about much else. Flash forward to right now, with you asking me to get coffee out of the blue and sitting across from me looking like you're a little kid and you've got a field trip permission slip you need me to sign…. One thing leads to another and here we are."

Riley took another long sip of her coffee, before setting it down and looking up at Josh again, this time with a serious sense about her.

"So. You and Maya." She said as less of a question and in more of a matter of fact tone. Josh let out a breath.

" Me and Maya." he confirmed, watching Riley carefully for her reaction.

" So what is this? Are you hooking up? Are you dating? Is this the end of your long game or? Just what is this?" Riley pressed, leaning forward slightly so that she could really look into Josh's eyes.

" I don't know. I don't know what it is yet. I don't really know what it's going to become." Josh answered honestly. Riley narrowed her eyes at him.

"Well you better figure it out." Riley gave him a serious look.

" I know you know this, but Maya has liked you for a long time. So if you're just humoring her, or you're just bored, know that if you hurt her I will-" Josh cut Riley off before she could finish her thought.

" Hey hey hey. I like her. I really like her. Whatever this is, it is real. I would never do anything to hurt her." Riley watched him carefully.

"I think that I know that. That you won't hurt her, at least not on purpose. But she's my best friend, and these past few years have been so hard on her. All the pain she's been through already. This was kind of a mandatory speech for me." Riley looked sad for a moment before her face broke back into a smile and the usual sunny Riley returned.

" So you have my blessing. Or whatever you came here to get." Riley stated, shooting him a smile.

"Thanks Riles." They sat in silence for a moment and then a mischievous smile crept its way onto Riley's face.

" Have you talked to Shawn yet?" She enquired, leaning forward eagerly as if she was waiting on good gossip.

" Not yet." Josh admitted. Riley's face broke out in an ear splitting grin.

" He might kill you." Riley stated with an almost glee that Josh thought was a little excessive.

" I know." Josh said with a sign. He leaned back against the back of his stool and muttered

" shit" under his breath.


	57. Chapter 57

SS 57

Maya had decided to stay held up in her room while Josh went to talk to Riley. She had told herself she would use the time to get stuff done, finally clean out her closet or clear out all her old school books. She thought that since her mind would be so caught up worrying and wondering what Riley and Josh were saying that it would be a good time to get some mindless work down. She had been wrong. She had started to pull out old sweaters and tops from her tiny closet, folding them into piles of keep and give away on her bed, but she felt the anxiety creeping up her spine and down her chest until it came to rest in a tight knot in the pit of her stomach.

She'd paced around her room, the floor now covered in discarded clothes that she'd pulled out of the closet and dresser drawers when she had thought that she'd organize her whole life while waiting from news from Josh or Riley.

The knots of worry kneaded in her stomach as she shuffled around her room, waiting for the all clear sign. She shouldn't be nervous. She had no reason to be, not really. Josh and Riley were just having coffee, having a conversation. What was the worse that could happen? Well Maya knew the worst that could happen, and had thought about every worse scenario that very well may happen.

Riley might be furious. Angry that Maya and Josh had kept this from her, even if it had only been a few days and a couple of stolen kisses.

Riley could laugh in Josh's face. Crack up at the idea that Josh and Maya might be anything more than friends. Or more precisely anything more than an older boy and a younger girl who followed him around like a love sick puppy.

That scenario could lead to Josh rethinking this whole thing. He could come to the realization that he was being ridiculous, that he shouldn't waste his time with some teenage girl with emotional baggage and move on to someone more his speed. Maya could picture the girl in her head. She'd be taller than maya was, closer to Josh's height, with thick chestnut brown hair in fly away frizzy curls that she'd often sweep up into a messy bun. She'd have a name like Gabrielle or Isabella, something elegant and classic, but he'd call her Gabbi or Izzy or something cute. She'd wear glasses, almost too large for her face that made her appear both bookish and wise. She'd been in Josh's masters program or he'd meet her around campus at Columbia. They'd be matched in intelligence and have lively debates over dinners at hole in the wall restaurants near campus. They would walk down the street together, hand and hand and people would think " Now there's a good match".

Maya tried to shake these thoughts out of her head, telling herself that she was being ridiculous and that she should just relax and wait and see what happened. But her mind kept spinning a million miles a minute and Maya kept picturing Josh bringing Gabrielle/ Isabella home for thanksgiving dinner and introducing her to everyone as his girlfriend. Gabrielle/ Isabella would probably bring some store bought pecan pie, the kind that Maya hated, but she'd have to have a slice to be polite and appear a gracious loser. She'd choke it down while Riley gave her a pitying look that also said " I told you he was too old for you. You should have listened to me from the here we are and don't you look like a fool."

Maya was busy imagining their wedding announcement and she would have to crawl under her bed in shame and never come out again when she heard a sharp tap on the window. She whipped around to see Riley crouched on the fire escape at her bedroom window, holding up a small brown paper bag and smiling at her.

Maya hurried over and pushed up the window, feeling the gush of warm air from the outside world as Riley clambered into the room, her foot catching on the sil, stumbling forward. Maya reached out and caught Riley before she could hit the floor. It would be a whole lot easier if Maya and Riley got used to using the front door rather than their bedroom windows, but with living right above each other and having a fire escape connecting them it seemed like a waste not to use it.

Riley straightened herself up and brushed her long hair out of her face, turning to face Maya. All the anxiety Maya had been feeling seemed to come to an apex in her throat, waiting in suspense for her best friend to speak. Then Riley's face broke into a brilliant smile and Maya felt her over emplated sense of self consciousness deflat.

Riley reached out and immediately pulled Maya into a hug that would have normally felt bone crushing but now felt just right. Maya wrapped her arms around her best friend in return and let out her first full breath that morning.

Riley pulled back to look at Maya, smiling knowingly at her.

" I brought you a muffin." Riley stated referring to the small paper bag that had now been tossed haphazardly aside, almost forgotten in the rush of emotion. Maya let out a laugh that the first thing Riley had thought to say was about baked goods, as if their shared embrace had been all about the gift of food.

They moved over to the bed, breaking the muffin between them and taking small bites of the still warm chunks of chocolate and walnuts, not caring about the crumbs they were making on the pale lavender duvet cover.

They sat for a good 15 minutes, picking at the muffin and talking animatedly, not even about Josh specifically, but about the excitement and the possibility, and " oh my god can you believe it" or " did you ever think". After a few minutes Maya noticed that despite the enthusiasm in her voice and the bright smile on her face the happiness didn't quite reach Riley's eyes. Maya reached out and took Riley's hand.

"Hey are you-" Maya had been about to say " are you okay" but remembered how after her mother had died how much she hated that question. Why ask when you clearly knew what the answer was and that it wasn't positive.

Riley smiled again and squeezed Maya's hand.

"It's fine. I'm fine. I got a lot of really good years, and now i'm having a bit of a bad one. It's your turn now. To be happy and smiley and giddy."

Maya gave her a sad smile,

"Doesn't much sound like me does it?"

" Does now." Riley said, squeezing her hand again.

" and hey maybe after a few more weeks of feeling sorry for myself i'll be right behind you. "

Just then Maya's phone started to buzz on the bed beside them.

"That's happiness calling." Riley quipped, getting up from the bed as Maya flipped over her phone and saw Josh's name displayed on the screen.

"Better pick up." Riley said with a smirk as she ducked out of the window and down the fire escape.


	58. Chapter 58

SS 58

" I don't want to do this." Maya huffed, pushing the computer away from herself and reaching for her cup of coffee. Both Josh and Riley gave her a look.

" You have to." Josh stated, moving the computer back in front of her and scooting around the table so they were sitting side by side.

"We'll help you."

It was a few days after Riley and Josh's talk . Josh and Riley had corralled Maya into meeting them at Topangas in order to get something done that Maya had been avoiding for weeks. Her class registration. Maya knew that she was an avoider. She had been avoiding the reminder emails from Hudson university for almost two weeks now, wanting to put off having to think about what was coming in september. But time was running out, and if Maya didn't register soon she would end up exclusively in 8am a classes on subjects she didn't need. Shawn, Josh, and Riley had all made several attempts to get Maya to sit down and select her courses but none had had any luck. After Josh and RIley had had their initial discussion about Josh and Maya's relationship their talk had turned to a plan of how to co finally get Maya to commit to a course load.

Once they put their heads together the solution seemed to be rather easy. It was easy for Maya to slip out or change the subject when it was just one person bringing up the issue but if they worked together to pin her down things were sure to work in their favour.

Josh had asked Maya to meet him at Topangas for coffee. Maya's suspicions weren't raised. That had seemed completely reasonable to her, something they did all the time. When Maya walked in to see Josh and Riley sitting at a table together she paused for the briefest of moments. Josh and Riley didn't exactly hang out a lot. But this was Riley's mother's shop. Why shouldn't she be there? Maybe Riley and Josh had just bumped into each other. Maya walked over to greet them. She sat down and was immediately greeted with a large cup of coffee and a slice of cake. That's when she should have known that something was up. They were being too nice to her. It wasn't until Riley had whipped her laptop out and pushed it in front of Maya with the Hudson University login page already . Maya elt all the blood drain from her face. She tried to excuse herself quickly to go to the washroom but Josh placed his hand down on her wrist as she began to get up and gave her a look that made her retake her seat.

" We've also made you an appointment with a course counselor to make sure you're getting all your required credits." Riley stated. Maya let out a huff.

She wanted to pretend to be annoyed, Riley and Josh shouldn't have to baby her, and while in this moment she resented it she knew that it was something she needed. Maya had the bad habit of being a bit of an avoider, often preferring to duck and cover rather than stand tall and take whatever bullet was coming for her. She hadn't always been this way. There had been a time when she was nearly fearless, or at least a time when she had presented herself that way. But time had damaged her armor. She hide away from most things that she found new or scary, things that might hurt. She needed someone to push her. Earlier in her life that person would have been her mother. Katy had always pushed Maya forward into the bigger and better, hoping her daughter would find the success Katy herself had struggled to discover. Now Maya needed someone to step into those shoes, to push her out into the world and not let her hide in a corner where she felt safe and protected.

The issue being that choosing classes seemed one step closer to choosing a career, and that notion was more terrifying to Maya then almost anything else. She had no clear vision in her mind of what her future would be like. She like many other incoming university freshmen she was majoring in had a passion for art and had thought she might have in interest in teaching, but she wasn't really sure. She would be taking general studies classes, trying to find the right path for her. But what if there was no right path? At least not at university. Would she toil away for a new months, trying to find herself, wasting thousands of dollars in the process?

So sitting in front of the computer she didn't see lists of different time slots of psychology classes or lab options, all she saw was one blazing question _Who are you supposed to be?._

She let Josh and Riley dictate the majority of the decisions. She nodded along and they talked about all the class possibilities and agreed with what they thought was best. This, she thought, was easiest. To just go along and ride out the waves coming towards her.

" Sorry to spring that on you." Josh apologized later. Riley had headed back up to her apartment after the coffee shop ambush, while Josh and Maya had taken to the street walking back up towards the subway stop that would take them out towards Hudson where Josh had thought they should take a walk and enjoy the warm weather.

"It's fine." Maya reassured, squeezing Josh's hand as they walked up the street, navigating through the throngs of people.

" had to be done at some point or another." Maya conceded, although she hate to give him the satisfaction of being right.

"It's normal to be nervous about this stuff. God i remember being so stressed before my first week at NYU that hair started to fall out in clumps." Maya couldn't help but laugh at that idea.

" That's hard to picture." Maya said playfully, reaching up to brush a few strands of stray hairs from Josh's forehead.

"It wasn't my best look." Josh admitted. Only a slightly more serious note he added

" It does get easier. All of it. With a little time." Maya glanced up at him and although he was facing forward, watching where they were going and guiding her through the street Maya could see the look of genuine concern and encouragement on her face. Through all of this at least she knew that he was really on her team.

They wandered around for a while walking the streets and eventually reaching the edge of the Hudson U campus. They walked around the perimetre, Maya not quite ready to wander her way inside yet and continued their way. Maya lost track of time as they walked, talking all the while but not about anything important. It was nice to just be with him.

Maya didn't know how long it was until she finally remembered to take out her phone and glance down at the time.

"Shit". She muttered under her breath, coming to a stop. Josh felt the tug on his arm and stopped to glance back at her.

"I'm supposed to be meeting my dad. I'm going to be late." Maya glanced up at him. For a moment a sting of awkwardness hung in the air. Maya had joked about her or Josh telling Shawn about them but she hadn't meant it, at least not really. It was something that made them both a bit nervous. Maya loved Shawn and she knew he only wanted the best for her, but he could be a little overprotective at times. And Josh. Well Josh still remembered a chat that he and Shawn had with him the last thanksgiving. The phrase " I grew up in a trailer park. I know how to kick somebody's ass" still rang fresh in his ears.

" I'll talk to you later?" She hadn't meant it to come out as such a question but there was still an insecure part of her that was sure that any moment Josh was going to come to his senses and decide she wasn't worth his time. Being friends with her was one thing, but dating her? Maybe he would give it up as a bad cause.

Josh just shook his head at her, a goofy smile on her face. He leaned down and kissed her, not a particularly long kiss but enough to make Maya's heart skip a few beats.

" I'll call you tonight." He promised. Maya smiled, leaning up on her tiptoes to give Josh another quick peck, before turning on her heel and heading in the opposite direction down the street.

 **A big thanks again to everyone reading! Big things to come :)**


	59. Chapter 59

SS Chapter 59

It had only been a few weeks that Maya had been sneaking around. No. She corrected herself in her head. She wasn't sneaking around per say. If Shawn wasn't prying for details then Maya not offering them up didn't mean that she was hiding anything.

Maya wasn't exactly jumping at the chance to tell Shawn that she was dating Josh. It's not that she thought that it would be a big deal or anything. It wasn't that Shawn was some kind of uber strict dictator of a parent figure who would forbid her from seeing Josh and lock her in her room to read the bible and consider her sins.

But for all his laid back cool guy qualities Shawn was protective. She didn't want the dynamic between them to change. This wasn't something they'd ever dealt with before. They knew how to handle grief and pain together but how did they handle this? Maya worried about how this would change things.

Would Shawn be okay with Josh coming around the apartment when he wasn't there? Would Shawn let Maya go over to Josh's apartment? She was eighteen now and technically an adult but would Shawn see it that way?Sunday night dinners at the Matthews apartment had become a staple. Would things be awkward around the dinner table if there was tension between Josh and Shawn?

For now Maya had been doing what she she did best and avoiding the situation. Shawn had been wrapped up in a work project lately, spending a lot of his time locking in his bedroom typing furiously on this computer. Maya knew he had started a new project but wasn't sure what it was pertaining to exactly. Shawn was stuck in one of his deep writing phases where he had trouble holding a conversation for more than a few minutes at a time as all his attention was wrapped up in whatever story he was trying to tell.

So when Maya had walked out of her room that morning she had expected to walk out of the apartment without any fuss. It was a weekday which meant by this time Shawn was usually already at his office. Some mornings Maya was up early enough to have a cup of coffee with Shawn before he headed to work and she readied herself for the day.

However that morning when Maya walked out of her room with Hudson on her heels she was surprised to find Shawn lounging on the couch with a steaming cup of coffee in his hand. He was flipping through tv channels, still in her pajamas and clearly not on his way to the office.

" No work today?" Maya asked as she passed by him on the couch on the way to the kitchen.

" Not today" Shawn confirmed as Maya poured herself a cup of coffee and began to down it while leaning against the counter.

" Plans for today?" Shawn asked.

Maya was already dressed and clearly on her way out. She nodded, finishing the last of the coffee and placing her empty cup in the sink. Both Shawn and Maya had the bad habit of letting their dishes pile up in the sink, waiting for the other to get frustrated enough to wash them. Sometimes when they were lucky Riley would come over and be so disgusted by their mounting dirty dishes that she would take a sponge and scrub away at the caked on and dried up bits of food until they came clean.

"Yeah, Clare Foyne is doing a book reading at Mosaic and you can't get seats in advance so i need to go get in line." Maya explained.

Now as of lately this was where the conversation would usually stop. Shawn would tell her to have a good day and text him if she was going to be home for dinner. But there was no work to distract him this morning.

"Is Riley going with you?" Maya felt her heart stop for a second. She was grateful that she had her back to Shawn as she felt like all the blood had drained from her face.

" Uh no." She answered, rummaging in the cupboard above the sink looking for the granola bar she liked and praying that Shawn's questions would stop there.

" Are you meeting someone else?" Shit.

"Yeah." Maya took a pause before continuing.

"I'm meeting Josh there." There was a beat of silence.

"Matthews?"

"Yep" maya quipped back, trying to keep her hands busy rustling around the kitchen.

"Anybody else?" Maya swallowed the lump in her throat and let her silence be her answer.

"He's been helping you out a lot lately getting ready for school. Is this like a mentor type situation?" Maya could hear the hopefulness in Shawn's question but she could also sense his suspicions. He was just waiting for her to confirm them.

" No, I wouldn't say that." Maya admitted. She finally turned around to face Shawn and saw that he was twisted around on the couch so he could look at her. Maya started to move towards the couch.

" Okay so full disclosure, Josh and I… we've been on a few dates." Maya said slowly coming to sit down across from Shawn on one of the arm chairs that flanked the couch.

Maya watched Shawn carefully for his reaction. He was silent for a moment, mulling over what Maya had just said and then suddenly he was springing into action.

"Stay right there." Shawn asked as he rose from the couch and headed for his bedroom.

Maya sat on the couch with a mixture of nerves and confusion. She could hear Shawn rummaging around in his room, pulling open drawers and shuffling through them, clearly looking for something.

Shawn reemerged, looking flushed and came back down to sit down on the couch once again. He placed the item he had been searching for on the coffee table between them.

" I know that your mother had some kind of talk with you at some point a few years ago and I know that you're technically an adult now but i still think that it's important that we discuss this again, together to just make sure that"

Maya felt her mouth go dry and her eyes go wide as Shawn spoke and she realized what he had placed on the table in front of her. It was a box of condoms.

" Oh my god Dad stop." Maya said absolutely mortified.

" I know they talk to you about this in school too but i sure as hell didn't pay attention in class so i thought we'd just go over the importance of being safe."

"I would literally rather talk about anything else." Maya mumbled, burying her face in her hands and letting her hair fall over her face.

" I don't know what experiences you've already had or what experiences you plan on having"

"Nuclear war, current events, my period. I think I would literally rather talk about my period. Can we talk about that?" Maya pressed, talking over Shawn as he began going over the importance of safe sex and being tested and respecting your body.

Maya leaned back in her chair and cupped her hands around her mouth, breathing into them and staring at the ceiling to be sure to avoid eye contact with her father.

After another minute went by before Maya had had enough.

"Okay Dad, enough. You're fine. We've only been on a few dates. We both know about safe sex, I know about condoms. Mom put me on birth control when I was to top it off i'm pretty sure Josh is afraid of you. So we're good."

Shawn let out a huff of breath, looking down at his hands that he hand folded in front of him.

" Look I know that you're a smart kid, and i'm still a little new to this whole parenting thing but it I think that this is apart of my job."

Maya helt her heart soften a little. She gave him a sad smile and reached out to pat his hand.

"You're doing good." She pushed back from her chair and stood up and began to head for the door.

" So now that that's over, i'm going to go, and when I come back tonight we're going to pretend that this never happened." Maya stated, slipping on her shoes and grabbing her bag from the chair be the door where she had left it.

She had the door open and was about to step out when Shawn said her name. She turned on her heel to see him shaking the box of condoms at her.

"Take them." he demanded, still holding them out in her direction.

"Oh my god." Maya uttered, turning again and walking out of the apartment without another word, feeling utterly mortified.

….

She was almost 20 minutes late by the time she made it to the bookstore. Josh was waiting in line out front. He was unphased by her lateness. It was a bad habit she had been proven to smiled at her when he saw her approaching but his grin faltered slightly as he saw the flustered look on her face.

" You alright?" He asked when she finally reached his side.

" Well Shawn and I just had the sex talk, so that's how my morning is going." Maya stated, pushing her hair out of her eyes. Josh's eye's went wide at her word. Maya was amused by the look on Josh's face at her words.

" I would watch your back at dinner on sunday" Maya joked.


	60. Chapter 60

SS 60

 **Hello. I am drunk writing this because my halloween plans fell through and i am sad. So like hey. What's up? You people still reading this? Hope so. Hope you enjoy. Byeee.**

Josh had seemed almost as mortified as Maya about the Shawn condom situation. The look on his face when Maya had first told him had sent her into a fit of giggles that she could barely control. She had to hold her stomach as it ached from laughing. Now that she was looking at the situation from a distance she could see the humour in it. She knew that it must have been just as awkward for Shawn as it had been for her.

He was still pretty new to the whole parenting thing. She was still pretty new at the whole having a dad thing. Was this how things were supposed to go between them? They were both playing the situation by ear.

" It's not funny!" Josh protested, although a hint of a smile was sneaking its way onto his face.

" It is though." Maya laughed, nudging him with her arm.

"Pretty funny" She continued, her chest still shaking from the laughter she was trying to repress.

"It's not going to be funny when you dad literally murders me." Josh continued only half joking. Maya rolled her eyes.

"He's not going to kill you. He knows that nothing's happened yet and despite his scary persona he's really just a big teddy bear."

For a beat the word she had just said hung in the air. Nothing had happened. Yet. That implied that something could happen. That something would happen.

Maya quickly brushed the subject aside in favour of something light and fluffier. This was only what? Their third official date? This wasn't exactly appropriate conversation. It wasn't one Maya was ready to have anyway.

She tried to focus on the reading but she suddenly felt very self conscious of the fact that Josh was sitting beside her and that the bare skin of their arms occasionally brushed together whenever one of them shifted in her seat.

Thankfully when she made it home later that day Shawn honoured her wishes and they acted as if their conversation from earlier that day had never happened. Shawn asked a few questions about the book reading and offered up a few details of his day but a tinge of awkwardness still hung in the air between them.

Maya's heart sunk slightly when she walked into the room and saw the box of condoms sitting on her bed where Shawn had clearly placed them. Maya grabbed the box from her comforter pulled open the bottom drawer of her nightstand that mostly held old phone chargers and scrap pieces of paper and shoved the box into the mess. She shoved the drawer closed and fell backwards onto her bed with a huff. Within seconds Hudson had jumped up on the bed and settled himself on her chest, his tiny slobbery tongue lapping at her face. She thought about pushing him off but in the end just let him paw at her, excited that she had come home.

Maya's door wasn't closed, but there was a knock on the frame. She raised her head to see Shawn standing there, cracking his knuckles, which was a thing Maya knew he did out of nervousness.

"Want to take that rat for a walk? Stop on the way back and get some pizza or something for dinner?"

Maya was pretty sure this was Shawn's way of apologizing for that morning. For prying into her business. For making things awkward between them. Her heart swelled. Despite how mortifying it had been it had also been kind of comforting. He was doing what he was supposed to do, what in theory a father should do. Maya could tell he felt a little guilty. She wished he wouldn't.

" Sounds great." Maya said, sitting up and shifting Hudson off of her chest. Shawn smiled.

"I'll get my coat."

….

" Come on!" Maya urged, pulling Josh along with her by his wrist.

" We're going to be late" She pleaded, yanking on his arm as they made their way up the street and towards her apartment building.

"Then let's just not go." Josh offered. Maya rolled her eye's and continued down the sidewalk.

"I'm serious. We could just bail. Head up town. Go to that ramen place you were talking about a few days ago."

Maya threw him a dirty look over her shoulder.

"You're being a child. It's going to be fine. It's just dinner. We do it every week." Maya reminded him, letting out a huff of frustration as they came to the apartment building steps. She turned to face him.

" Yes, a dinner with my whole family, and your murderous step father, all of who by the way are huge gossips so you know that the second we walk into that room they're all going to stop talking and stare at us with their knowing eyes."

"Come on" Maya continued, taking her first steps up the stairs towards the building's front door.

"It's not exactly a secret that I had a crush on you. Really it's old news, and besides everyone is still buzzing about Riley's almost engagement this isn't nearly as exciting, so in reality we have really good timing." Maya promised.

Josh just shook his head at her as they climbed up the stairs and through the hallways until they reached the door to the matthews family apartment.

Maya was never one to knock, so without much ceremony she flung the door open and revealed the apartment. As they stepped into the room all the noise from within the room eased into a tiny mumble as eye's shot to the door.

Feeling so many eye's on her made all the blood rush to Maya's face.

"Well you've all made a liar out of me." Maya joked, although she knew that no one but Josh would even slightly understand what she was talking out.

No one really said anything as Josh and Maya moved into the room. Maya glanced around the room in search of a conversation to start.

She saw a plate of crackers set out on the coffee table,

" So do you have any cheese?" Maya asked, moving forward and planting herself down on the couch beside Auggie and pulling the snacks towards herself. Topanga took the moment in stride, and broke the awkwardness.

" I have brie in the oven. It'll be out in a few minutes." Everyone melted back into their conversations slowly. Maya motioned for Josh to come join her on the couch rather than hovering awkwardly by the door.

Dinner was delayed as Topanga and Cory had been arguing about the best way to debone a fish.

Riley, Josh, Maya, and Auggie were all sitting on the couch eating the crackers that had been put out .

Josh leaned over to Maya and half whispered

"He's glaring at me." jerking his head towards the kitchen where Shawn was standing at the kitchen table with Cory and Topanga. Maya glanced over to the kitchen.

" No he's not." Maya reassured him, placing her hand on his knee in comfort.

" You're glaring at him." Cory remarked, watching Shawn carefully.

"No i'm not" Shawn shot back, raising the bottle of beer he was drinking to his lips.

"Please." muttered Topanga, shaking her head at him.

"You could cut the tension between you two with a knife." Topanga continued, pushing past the two boys to place a platter of food on the table.

The rest of the dinner passed without much awkwardness. Everyone was gathered in the kitchen, clearing up the dishes. Topanga had scraped the fish skin into the trash and was tying off the bag.

"I'm not letting this stick up my whole house. Which one of you is taking this to the dumpster?" Topanga asked, holding out the bag with a slightly disgusted look on her face. Everyone diverted their eyes.

"Seriously?" Topanga fixed them all with a withering stare. Josh gave in first.

"I'll take it" Josh offered, taking the bag from her.

" Oh hold on." Topagana scurried down the hallway and re emerged a few moments later carrying two bags of recycling.

"I had these stashed in the laundry room." She explained, offering the bags to Josh. Josh tried to take them but the large bags weren't easy to handle.

" I'll give you a hand." Shawn offered, taking one of the bags from Topanga and heading for the door. Josh shot Maya a slightly concerned look before hurrying to follow Shawn out of the apartment.

They made their way downstairs and into the back alley, heaving the heavy bags of trash and recycling into their respective bins.

" Is this where you beat me up behind the dumpsters?" Josh joked. He had been thinking it but he had never intended to say it out loud.

Shawn let out a laugh, shooting Josh a smug look. Shawn shook his head at him, running his hand through his hair as he tried to figure out what to say.

" Here's the thing Josh. I've known you you're whole life. I was there when you were born. You're my best friend's kid brother, and I love you. But she's my kid, and i love her more. So don't hurt her." Shawn clapped Josh on the back and turned to head back inside.

" I won't" Josh promised. Shawn turned and shot him a smile.

" I know you won't. You're too much like your brother."

 **There we go people! Hope you like it. Drop a review if you're feeling it. Thanks!**


	61. Chapter 61

SS Chapter 61

 **Semi IMPORTANT: Hello everyone. Not to be needy but I was wondering if I could get a little bit of input from you all. I have some larger plot points I want to work up to in this story but I need some smaller moments to get there. I was wondering if any of you had smaller ( or even bigger) moments that you'd like to see from this story. I'm not ready to jump into one of my big event quite yet as it doesn't work with my timeline. So if there is some moment you'd really like to see let a girl know!**

" I need a boyfriend" Riley said out of the blue as she and Maya walked down the street.

Maya nearly spit up the sip of iced coffee she and just taken.

" No you do not." Maya spluttered, taking the napkin that Riley was offering her and using it to wipe the excess coffee splatter from her face.

"You just got out of a relationship that basically spanned the entirety of high school. Don't you think it's time to take a break?" Maya encouraged, looking at her friend with not a small amount of disbelief. Riley sighed.

" I know Lucas and I just broke up. Trust me I remember. That's why I need a new boyfriend. Nothing serious. Just something to fill all this free time in my life." Riley explained, stirring the excess sugar into her cold coffee.

" Oh my god. So read a book." Maya exclaimed, bumping Riley with her hip. Riley rolled her eyes at her.

" Come on! I'm bored" Riley protested.

" You've been single for what? Three weeks? I was single for 18 years." Maya rationed, shaking her head at her friend. This time it was Riley who rolled her eyes.

'Oh come don't lie to yourself. You were single by choice." Riley accused. Maya narrowed her eyes at her best friend.

"What's that supposed to mean?" Maya snapped back, feeling confused and slightly attacked.

"Oh don't lie to yourself. There have been plenty of guys who've looked your way over the years and you've barely batted an eye at them. You've been too lost waiting for Josh to return your longing stares for so long that you haven't even noticed your other admirers."

"That is not true" Maya defended.

"Uh yes it."

"You are mistaken." Maya stated, standing her ground.

"Name one other boy you've been interested in." Riley countered, watching her friend expectantly.

Maya pursed her lips, thinking, before she came up with an answer

"There was Zay.." Maya tried

"Who you pretended to date for maybe 5 minutes to make vanessa jealous.." Riley countered. Maya took another second and tried again

" Harris Fuller" That time RIley actually laughed

" You liked him for 20 minutes during one lunch period in 10th grade and then you decided he was too stuffy for your taste"

" His mom still cut the crust off his sandwiches and he wore too many collared shirts!" May defended.

" and don't even try and bring up Lucas because we all know where that line was drawn!" Riley quipped before Maya even had the chance.

There was another silence as Maya searched her brain long and hard.

" I rest my case"' RIley finished smugly, taking a long sip from her coffee.

" Oh shut up. So far it's worked out in my favour." Maya defended.

" I mean it only took what 4 years? but I roped in your uncle." Riley cringed.

" Please don't refer to him as my uncle in that context."

" In what context?" Maya questioned.

" In the context of you being so smug about the idea of being my aunt." Riley said with a touch of disgust.

" Okay Josh and I have been dating for 5 minutes so you're jumping the gun a little bit with the whole aunt thing, and also don't speak to your future aunt in that tone, it's disrespectful." Maya joked.

"If you're so bored then why don't you come hang out with Josh and I tonight? His friend is having some party in Williamsburg. " Maya offered.

"Are you just inviting me because you're afraid to meet my uncles friends without backup."

" I am not nervous to meet his friends, and by that I mean i'm only slightly nervous and please don't make me go alone." Riley smirked at her.

" to brooklyn we go."

…

"Do I look older?" Riley asked. " because I think it took us a decade to get here on the train" Riley complained.

Josh shook his head at her as he lead the two girls down the street and towards his friend Kate's apartment.

"Remind me again why we brought her?" Josh whispered to Maya as they hurried down the street.

" because she's best friend and she's and lonely and she just broke off an engagement so she needs our support." Maya reasoned.

" They were never engaged" Josh shot back.

" Oh they were close enough." Maya shot back.

The elevator opened directly into Kates loft and the room before her left Maya's jaw slack. She knew that Kate had money but she didn't know what kind of money. The apartment was modern and chic and eclectically decorated. The ceiling was high and while too most people it wasn't a huge space by new york standards it was the tajmah hall.

" Joshy!" A tall, lean, beautiful brunette girl emerged from the group of people and immediately threw her arms around Josh.

"It's been over a month. Where have you been?" Maya assumed that this must be Kate. She had heard about her before and her constant attempts to find him a girlfriend. Would Kate dislike Maya off the bat purely because she hadn't hand picked her?

"I've been busy." Kate broke their hug and turned to look at Maya and Riley.

" and now I see with what!" Suddenly Maya was being hugged.

" You must be Maya i've heard so much about you!" She exclaimed, squeezing her tight.

" You have?" Maya asked surprised. Kate pulled back to look at her.

" Yeah Josh is a blabber mouth after his fourth beer. I pried it out of him after he turned down every single lovely girl I tried to push on him."

"Sorry about that." Josh whispered to them as they moved further into the party.

" I think Kate's been into the merlot. She's not usually that huggy." Josh whispered.

Riley tugged on Maya's arm. They had been at the party for a little over an hour. Josh had introduced them to a few of his friends and was now caught up in a conversation across the room. Maya and Riley had wandered away in search of snacks.

"We're at a college party." Riley whispered.

" Our first college party. Our party as people who are in college." Riley went on.

" We're not in college yet." Maya retorted.

"Well we aren't in high school." Riley reasoned.

"Also that girl is glaring at you." Riley mentioned, taking a sip from a drink she had poured herself from the makeshift bar in the kitchen. Maya looked over in the direction that Riley had indicated. There was a girl with dark hair sitting on the edge of the couch, her arms cross and a drink clutched to her chest. She had a sour look on her face and was shooting a dark look in their direction.

" she appears to be." Maya confirmed.

" Do we know her?" Riley asked, shooting glances

"You don't" A voice from behind them confirmed. Maya twisted to see Josh's old roommate standing behind them, staring at the girl that was glaring at their little group.

"Hey Randy." Maya said as way of greeting.

" So who's the chick?" Riley asked.

" That would be Jill. She hangs around these parties a lot. She's got kind of a thing for Josh." Randy explained.

"Should I be worried?" Maya joked.

" Hmm you'll be okay this time because no girl Josh has ever brought to one of these things has made it past one party, but next time i'd consider watching your back." Randy answered.

" Very comforting Rand. Thanks" Maya answered sarcastically.

" You asked!" he defended.

" Okay i'm out of here." Riley said, downing her drink and placing her empty cup in the counter.

"What?" Maya asked in shock.

"Farkle has his father's town car and he's coming to get me. We're going to a midnight movie. I can't deal with another year long train ride." Maya rolled her eyes.

"Stay. Mingle. Get to know Josh's friends. It's good for your blossoming relationship." Riley leaned in and gave Maya a quick hug before waving goodbye to Josh.

Maya made her way back over to Josh, weaving through the people to get over to him.

"Riley bailed." She stated, leaning into Josh's side. He wrapped his arm around her.

" You ready to go too?" Josh asked. Maya looked up at him.

" You're done being social already?" She asked.

" I've talked who I needed to talk to." Maya smiled up at him.

" Alright then let's go." Josh glanced down at his watch.

" We've still got a few hours until you need to be home. Did you want to go back to my place?" He asked. Maya felt the heat of her arm around the back and tried to focus consciously on not blushing. She tried not to read too much into what he was saying.

"Sounds good."

 **Alright! That's it for now! Drop a review or a suggestion if you're feeling it. It's appreciated 3.**


	62. Chapter 62

SS 62

" You're insane" Maya stated as Josh fumbled to get the keys to his apartment out of his pocket and unlock the door.

"No you're delusional" Josh fired back, unlocking the door and pushing it open. Maya shook her head and sauntered past him into the apartment.

Josh and Maya had having the same chat, turned discussion, turned argument all the way back from Brooklyn. This was something that Josh and Maya had done often over the course of their friendship. Lively debates and arguments had become a cornerstone for them, egged on by the fact that neither of them were one to give in or let their side of the argument go. It had been like that all the way from williamsburg back to avenue A and all the way into Josh's building.

"It's going to happen. Mark my words by the end of the summer Kate and Randall will have kissed at least once." Maya pronounced, plopping down on Josh's couch and crossing her arms defiantly. Josh shook his head at her, opening the door to his fridge and pulling out two bottles of juice and heading over to where Maya was seated.

"He's been pining over her over for years and nothing has come from it. What makes you think something's going to magically change this summer? Besides she's completely out of his league"

" Oh come on! Give Randy some credit! He's really grown his confidence in the past couple of months. He's graduated, and he's starting his CP, his acne has really cleared up." Maya defended, taking the juice from him and cracking open the lid. "

Maya felt stupid for the anxiety she had felt coming back to Josh's apartment. It was as if she had been unsure what they would say, what they would talk about. What they would do. The best thing about having waited so long to start a relationship with Josh was that they had stared a friendship along the way. A friendship that had grown so strong over the years that when she let herself, Maya felt almost as comfortable with Josh as she did with Riley. So tonight walking back to his house it was just the same as it always did, they talked and argued and laughed only this time Josh held her hand, and when he sat down on the couch next to her he placed his arm around her behind back.

" It's been years and nothing. I don't see how a sheet of paper and some cortisone cream can change that." Josh protested looking exasperated but also amused.

" Oh years mean nothing. Look how long it took me to snag you." Maya pointed out, nudging Josh playfully. Josh rolled his eyes.

"Okay that's different. I was at least interested from the start, Kate has never had eye's for Rand." Josh reasoned. Maya was quiet.

"Oh what? No response? You're finally going to let me win one?" Josh asked smirking at her. Maya sat smugly for a few more seconds.

"You were interested in me from the start" Maya smirked, looking up at Josh ready to gloat.

" Oh come on." Josh groaned, letting his head fall against the back of the couch.

"Even when I was fourteen and overly aggressive. You just fell for my charms."

"How long are you going to milk this for?" Josh asked, amused but also slightly flushed.

"I'm not sure. A while. I'm feeling very validated in my crush now." Maya admitted. Josh scoffed at her.

"You're not feeling validated?" Josh questioned. Maya shrugged coyly. Josh leaned forward, cupping Maya's face and pulling her closer to him. His kissed her, softly at first before deepening the kiss. Maya's hand moved from resting on Josh's shoulder to the back of his head, her fingers tickled from the edges of his hair.

"Okay" Maya muttered against Josh's lips " this is pretty validating." Maya admitted.

….

"We have three minutes before your curfew" Josh's stated as they came to a stop in front of the door to Maya and Shawn's apartment.

" I can work with three minutes." Maya joked mischievously, pulling Josh back towards her and lacing her fingers behind his neck as she reached up to kiss him.

"Has Shawn ever paid attention to your curfew before?" Josh questioned.

"No." Maya admitted as Josh tightened his arms around her waist.

" Do you think he's going to start now?" he wondered.

"I would think so. I can practically hear him breathing on the other side of the door." Josh let out a light laugh.

"Well why don't you go in early and earn me some brownie points." Josh suggested. Maya rolled her eyes at him.

"Fine. Goody goody." She teased.

" I'll call you tomorrow." Josh promised.

"Yeah yeah." Maya muttered, letting Josh give her a quick kiss before he turned to retreat down the hallway.

Maya put her key in the door and let herself in. Shawn was sitting on the couch, obviously trying to look casual. Maya dropped her bag on the bench by the door and walked past the back of the couch and towards the door to her room.

" I'm home, I'm not pregnant, you can stop worrying and go to sleep now." Maya announced, patting Shawn on the shoulder as she walked past him and into her room.

….

" I'm sleeping." Maya groaned when she heard the window to her bedroom slide open.

" I could tell, judging from the fact that you haven't returned any of my texts" Riley complained as she moved across the room and plopped down on Maya's bed. Maya drug the pillow up over her head.

" Come on, I don't come empty handed." Riley coaxd. Maya stuck her hand out of the blanket as Riley pressed a to go cup of coffee from Topanga's down stairs into Maya's waiting hand.

" To what do I owe the pleasure of this visit?" Maya muttered, rubbing the sleep out of her eyes and sitting up on her elbows in bed to take a sip of her coffee.

" Im bored. We've established this." Riley stated, leaning back against maya's headboard and stretching her legs out in front of her. Maya glanced over at her clock on her nightstand.

" Can't you be bored after 9 am?" Maya begged, letting her head fall back against her mattress again. Riley ignored the comment.

"What time did you get it last night?"

" 12:59" Maya grumbled into her mattress.

" That's oddly specific."

" One minute before curfew." Maya explained

" You have a curfew?" Riley questioned

" You know I think I always had one and i'm just now deciding to recognize it." Maya concluded.

" How kind of you." Riley commented.

" What about you?" Maya asked. " How was the movie?"

" We didn't end up going." Riley confessed.

" We got pizza and complained about our pitiful life."

" Ah yes i'm sure you two ivy league bound scholars are suffering immensely." Maya mocked.

" He and Smackle had a fight and decided to break up early. So we just wallowed together. He's my new wallowing buddy. We wallow"

" Well that's my night. What about you? How was the rest of the party?" Riley inquired.

" We actually left a couple of minutes after you did." Riley furrowed her brow.

" So what did you do till 12:59?" Riley asked, looking skeptical.

" We just went back to Josh's" Maya said simply.

" and did what?" Riley pressed.

"We hung out, we talked, do you want itemized itinerary?" Maya asked jokingly.

"That's it? That's all you did?" Riley pressed, clearly implying something.

" Oh my god we've been going out for like five minutes! Does every single person in my life think that i'm some kind of sex fiend? Do I just look desperate? Do I have the word trollop tattooed on my forehead? Am I wearing a blazing scarlet A that i'm not aware of?" Maya demanded.

"Okay chill I was just asking!" Riley defended, knocking Maya on the shoulder in a joking manner.

" Sorry, I didn't mean to snap. I'm just tired" Maya said softly, in an attempt to apologize.

" It's okay." Riley stated, trying to brush it off. Maya took a deep breathe, trying to decide if she really wanted to say what she was going to say next.

" Can I tell you something? Something i've never told anyone." Maya asked, watching her best friend carefully. Riley sat up straighter, suddenly feeling concerned.

"What's that?" She asked cautiously.

" That summer that I spent in Paris..." she began slowly, trying to pick her words carefully.

" I hooked up with someone. One of the guys in my program. It was just once. I don't even really know what happened. If we had sex or if we just fooled around but we did stuff. I don't really know how it happened. I was drunk, and sad, and angry. I was really angry, at myself for not keeping it together, at world, I was angry at my mom" Maya's voice cracked on the last word, she could feel the tears beginning to well in her eye's and she hoped she would be able to contain them.

"I was mad at my mom for dying, for leaving me. So I got really drunk and I did something really stupid and I can't take it back. I'm sorry that I never told you about this but i've tried really really hard not to think about it, like if I pretend it never happened maybe it didn't." Maya paused, trying to catch her breath.

" I don't want to do that again. Josh is...he's one of the best people I know. I don't want to fuck it up. I fuck everything up. But this… I want it to be different.I need it to be different. So i'm kind of sensitive about the whole thing." Maya admitted. Riley reached out and grabbed Maya's hand and squeezed it.

Suddenly there was a knock on the door and it creaked opened. Shawn poked his head in, his hair a mess and his eye's sagging from tiredness.

"Don't we have a rule about having guests before 9 am?" Shawn grumbled, rubbing at his eyes.

" We don't but we should." Maya grumbled back, slumping back down in bed.

" Coffee?" Riley offered sheepishly, holding out her half drunken coffee in Shawn's direction. Shawn shook his head knowingly at the two of them and shut the door behind him.

 **Okay there we are! I'm a little nervous to bring up the whole paris thing again so please don't revolt! It happened and i'm not going to ignore it. I really appreciate all of your suggestions and I hope you keep them coming! So leave a review with what you want to see or what you think or whatever you feel! Thank you! 3**


	63. Chapter 63

SS 63

"Oh my god." Josh muttered as he pushed open the door to the cafe and saw Maya standing behind the counter, steam from the frother bouncing back into her face.

"Don't start." Maya warned, as she poured steam milk into one of the large blue mugs and slide it down the counter to where Riley was waiting.

"What are you doing?" Josh asked in amazement as he slide onto a stool at the counter beside Riley.

"Working. Ever heard of it." Maya responded, pushing a piece of her hair that had fallen from her ponytail behind her ear.

" I have. I thought you hadn't" Josh shot back, reaching over to pick at the piece of chocolate cake Riley had been picking at. Maya rolled her eyes at him.

" Riley's already spent the last half hour digging into me about this, so there's no need for you to." Josh pouted

"Yeah but I didn't get to witness it." Josh pointed out.

" I wouldn't give me lip if I were you. I'm in charge of your coffee and I would be more than happy to spit in it." Maya threatened, placing an empty mug in front of Josh and pouring a stream of coffee from the pot.

"Why the sudden need for employment?" Josh enquired, drinking the coffee to his lips.

" A few reasons." Maya explained, wiping down the espresso machine as she spoke.

" There's this workshop at Parsons in August and Shawn said he would pay for it but isn't cheap and I feel bad. It's Riley's mom's shop but my mom's name is on the door so working here feels kind of natural. Finally I look cute this apron and my hair surprisingly really suits this pony tail." Maya concluded, tousling her long blond hair for effect.

" and in all honesty there's always two other people on staff so I barely have to do anything. In reality I don't think Topanga needed any help and she just gave me this job to be nice. Normally i'm against pity handouts but this i'm okay with."

" You do look cute in the apron." Josh admitted playfully.

" Ugh, and suddenly i'm not hungry." Riley stated in mock disgust, pushing her piece of cake away from her.

"Shush." Maya muttered, picking up Riley's fork and taking a bite of the chocolate. Riley twisted in her seat to look at her uncle.

"Speaking of jobs, don't you have one?" Riley asked pointedly, nodding her head up at the clock hanging above the counter.

" I do." Josh confirmed, downing the rest of his coffee and getting to his feet.

" I'll call you later." Josh promised, leaning across the counter to give Maya a quick peck.

" Ugh and now i'm done with this too." Riley said dramatically, pushing her coffee cup away from her. Maya just rolled her eyes as she cleared the dishes from in front of her. Maya watched Josh walk out the door and then turned to her friend

" Can i just remind you that I had to watch you and he know must not be named be cute 24/7 for two and a half years. You can give me this." Maya defended

"He's not Voldemort you know. You can say his name." Riley prompted playfully, then Riley glanced down at her hands on the counter and Maya could sense the mood shift.

" Do you need to wallow?" Maya asked, placing the chocolate cake that Riley had pushed away back in front of her.

"Yeah." Riley muttered, taking the fork again.

Maya felt her heart sink a bit. She felt a wave of guilt wash over her. Was she such a bad friend to be so happy in her new relationship that she couldn't pay attention to how heart broken her best friend was?

"Okay nope i'm not doing this." Riley sputtered, fanning her eyes to dry them out before the tears could fall.

" I can't do this in public anymore I started crying in the grocery store the other day. Do you know how embarrassing that was? It was mortifying! You know why I started crying? Because I was walking by the bread and I saw texas toast. That is so pathetic." Riley stabbed her fork into the cake, channeling her frustration into her breakfast.

"You guys dated forever, some wallowing and self pity is healthy." Maya admitted, pulling out a can of whipped cream from the sliding fridge space below the counter and sprayed a generous amount on top of Riley's cake.

" Okay, let's talk about something else." Riley said through a mouth full of cake.

" Do you think you and Shawn are going to come next weekend?" Riley enquired

" Come to what?" Maya asked, confused.

" 4th of the July, Philidelphia, my grandparents house, barbeque. Any of this ringing a bell?" Riley prompted.

" The fourth isn't next week."

" Um yes it is." Riley corrected.

" Oh my god it is." Maya realized her eyes going wide.

" Is that a problem? Do you have other plans?" Riley asked.

" No it's not that, it's just where is summer going?"

" We still have two months."

" Yeah two months in which i'm going to be working here and you're going to be interning with your mom. You're spending a week in Philadelphia for your orientation in August and Shawn's been talking about us taking a trip and before we know it you're going to be gone. This, us, we're never gonna be how are right now again. You're not going to be crawling through my window in morning and I can't bang on my floor boards to tell you that i'm coming down to see you."

Riley reached out and grabbed Maya's hand.

" Do you need to wallow too?" Riley asked giving her a sad smile.

" Maybe" Maya admitted. She grabbed a fork and leaned forward and leaned on her elbows against the counter, taking a bite herself.

…

"Are you seriously nervous?" Josh asked in amusement. Josh, Maya, Riley, and Auggie were all taking the train down to Philadelphia a day before Cory and Topanga to help Amy and Allan set up for the Barbeque the next day. The fourth fell on a saturday that year and rather than take the friday off and head down to her in laws house Topagana had decided to stay behind and work as her firm had taken on a high profile case that she had taken the lead on. Cory had elected to stay behind with his wife and travel up with her the next day. Shawn had already been in Philly on assignment and would be picking them up at the train station.

'Yes I'm nervous." Maya exclaimed, sinking lower in her seat on the train and picking at the skin around her nails.

"You've met my parents before. You spent christmas at their house last year. They like you. You like them. You used to call my dad Grandpa Alan. Which by the way I beg you not to ever do again because it really creeps me out now."

"Seconded!" Riley piped up from her seat across from them. Auggie was sitting beside her, his massive headphones covering his ears, completely tuned out of the conversation.

" Okay but they know me as Riley's friend not as your... whatever. What if that changes things?" Maya prompted. Maya hadn't been sure at first if Amy and Alan would even know that she and Josh were seeing each other, but then she reconsidered. Word traveled fast in this family, someone would have made the call the second they got the tip.

" It won't." Josh promised, reaching out to place his hand on Maya's leg.

Maya let out a breath.

" If you say so." She said doubtfully.

 **Okay sorry this chapter is a little shorter but i wanted to save the bulk of the philly trip for next chapter. Thanks for all the suggestions about family time and gossip and especially the fourth of july! I'm Canadian so I was not even thinking about that holiday! I'm also hoping to talk about Josh being sick in the next chapter as many of you also suggested!**

 **Anything else you want to see or you don't want to see let me know! All your support means a lot! So review if you've got something to say! 3**


	64. Chapter 64

SS 64

A rush of hot air hit Maya in the face as the group stepped off the train and onto the platform in Philadelphia. It was just as hot in New York City but the hour and a half in the air conditioned train car and cooled their temperature making the exit outside like stepping into a brick wall of heat. Maya staggered a bit as she descended the few steep steps of the train, her head going foggy for a minute. Josh had headed down the steps before her and she reached forward to steady herself on his shoulder.

Riley and Auggie joined them on the platform and their small group made their way across their platform and towards the terminal exit. Maya had her small duffel bag slung over her shoulder and as they walked Josh tried to lift it from her. She shifted away from him, and shoved at him playfully.

" Save your chivalry. I'm sure i'll be needing it later." Maya teased, shifting her bag to her other shoulder so that it was further from Josh's reach.

" You can take my bag!" Auggie piped up, pulling his backpack off his shoulder and slinging it in Josh's arm with a heavy huff. Josh staggered slightly as the bag came in contact with his chest, but quickly righted himself, shaking his head at Auggie but taking the weight regardless.

They hurried through the crowed of people and eventually came to the front of the building. They walked through the automatic sliding doors and out into the pickup area. Shawn was parked in the long line of waiting vehicles.

Auggie, unburdened by any luggage, sped ahead eager to claim shotgun in the car. Riley, Josh, and Maya weren't far behind. Shawn was out of the car, opening the hatch to the car he had rented so they could easily load their bags in. Shawn wrapped an arm around Maya and gave it a squeeze as way of greeting before ushering them all into the car so to not keep the line held up with their dottling.

Josh, Maya, and Riley slide into the back seat of the car while Auggie bounced around the front, excited about getting on the road. Auggie rarely rode in cars and seemed to find the whole thing a novelty.

Maya was stuck in the middle seat between Riley and Josh. The suburban Shawn had rented to get around Philadelphia was by no means roomy so the three were stuffed together, their arms and legs pressed together. Riley rolled down the window in the back, too impatient to wait for the air conditioning to cool down the car. She leaned away from Maya and stuck her head out the window like a dog, letting the hair whip around her face.

Rather than shy away from Josh because of the heat Maya let her knees knock against him as they shoved their shoulders playfully, shooting each other knowing looks. Maya was very aware that Shawn was throwing glances at the two of them in the rearview mirror. Maya straightened up a little bit and decided to cut some of the tension.

" How is party prep going?" She asked, leaning forward slightly so that she could hear Shawn more clearly. As she did this she felt Josh arm snake behind her back and come to rest on the edge of her hip, back just far enough that from the front seat Shawn wouldn't be able to tell it was there.

"You'll soon be in the thick of it. Amy's been running around like a mad man since yesterday. They've got half the neighbourhood coming tomorrow." Shawn explained, flicking on his signal and merging into the HOV lane as they sped down the freeway. Josh's fingers grazed her back as the whole car chatted about exactly how many different kind of salads Amy would have them whipping up and the likelihood that someone will end up with singed eyebrows from trying to set off fireworks.

It was a decent drive from the train station down to the suburb where the Matthews family home was located. Riley had rolled the window back up, cutting down the noise in the car and settling back in her seat. Maya leaned back in her seat herself, no longer having to lean forward and strain her ears to hear what everyone was saying properly. Josh hadn't moved his arm from around her as she sat back in her seat and she leaned sideway into his slightly as they drove.

Maya had relaxed slightly in the car as they made their way to their destination but when they turned onto the Matthews street she felt her stomach clench again. Josh must have felt her tense and he have her an encouraging smile. Shawn parked the car on the street in front of the Matthews house and before the engine was even off Auggie was out of the car and running towards the door to his grandparents house. Auggie had the door open and had run inside before the others had even climbed out onto the street. Shawn and Josh made it to the trunk before Riley or Maya had the chance and had placed the bags on their shoulders. Riley shook her head at the two boys. She offered her arm to Maya.

" Come along my fellow helpless damsel." Maya hooked her arm through Rileys as they followed Josh and Shawn up the walk and towards the front door.

Amy was there waiting for them, looking thoroughly exhausted but also excited to see them. Auggie was already gone, running through the house looking for his grandfather.

" Hello hello!" She said excitedly as they made their way through the front door. Josh and Shawn had placed the bags down by the stairs. Amy gave her youngest son a warm hug, craning up and placing a kiss on his cheek.

"And my girls!" Amy exclaimed pulling both Riley and Maya into a tight and warm hug. Maya felt her heart thump a little to be lumped in with Riley in that category, one of her girls. Not that girl, the one going after her youngest son. Not some tag along guest or an add on no one had requested. Amy broke away from them but grabbed onto one of each girls hands. She took a step back

" . Let me look at you." Amy beamed as she appraised the too.

" Beautiful. The two of you. Fresh graduates. Soon to be college girls." Amys happiness radiated to all of them.

"Now Shawn's already settled upstairs, Josh you're rooms all set up for you. Cory and Topanga are the latecomers so we can shove them in the basement bedroom for tomorrow night. I thought you girls could share Morgan's old room and Auggie has his heart set on pitching a tent in the back yard." Amy explained.

"Now everyone go put your things in your rooms and meet me in the kitchen. Since you're all here I'm putting you to work" Amy mandated, ushering them off. Josh, Maya, and Riley all snatched up their bags and climbed up the stairs well Shawn headed straight for the kitchen. Maya and Riley turned to entre Morgan's old room and Josh turned to the room directly across from their own.

Maya threw Josh a look over her shoulder as she walked into the room to put her bags down. They all met back downstairs and funneled into the kitchen Where Amy was busy at work and Shawn was peeling a mountain of potatoes by the sink.

" I don't know what I was thinking inviting all these people. I swore after last year that that would be it but here we are. Alans in the backyard trying to get that god forsaken smoker up and running. As if barbequing isn't enough he's adding another torch to the fire." Amy complained, although not unpleasantly.

" Would you girls chop these for me?" Amy asked, pressing a bag of mixed vegetables into their hands and guiding them over to the kitchen table where cutting boards and knifes were already set up.

"And honey could you help me prep some of this meat?" Amy requested, gesturing to the giant mixing bowl where a mound of ground beef had been defrosted and was waiting to be formed into patties.

There was a hum in the kitchen as they all chatted while they worked, Maya and Riley peeling carrots and prepping celery for garden and pasta salad. Amy was flitting around the kitchen, directing them all while taking on her own tasks. Every once and awhile you could hear Allan swearing from the backyard as he tried to get his smoker going and Auggie roaring with laughter. Shawn was peeling potatoes ready to be mixed. Josh was cracking eggs and adding chopped onions into the raw meat before shaping them into perfectly proportioned hamburger patties.

"That's disgusting." Maya declared as Josh picked the bits of meat drenched in the egg mix, off his hands that has stuck to his skin after forming the burgers. Josh raised his eyebrows at her.

"You think so?" He asked, walking around the kitchen island and towards where Maya was seated at the table with Riley.

" Don't you come near me with those things." Maya warned, taking the short knife she had been using to chop carrots and gesturing it at him as if for protection.

" You don't want to hold my hand?" He joked reaching out as if he was out to take one of her own.

" Not unless you go soak them in bleach. " Maya declared, leaning away from him and closer to Riley for protection.

Everyone around the kitchen chuckled at the two of them and Maya felt a goofy smile sneak onto her face as she turned back to her chopping board and Josh went to wash his hands.

Maya was surprised as to how comfortable she felt despite the theoretical change in dynamic between her and the rest of the Matthews. Her nerves were still present but were subsiding with every joke cracked or remark made. She still felt as though she could belong with this group, that they were still willing to welcome her into their family.

…

They'd ordered pizza for dinner. The fridge was so packed full with food for the barbecue the next day that no one even wanted to open the door to look for anything to cook for that night. The whole group had sat down on and around the couch, grabbing slices of pizza and drinking from cans of soda or bottles of beer. It wasn't until later in the evening that they had even gotten around to having dinner, everyone had been so busy first cooking and then setting up lawn chairs and umbrellas in the back yard.

By the time they had finished they were all full and happy and about ready for bed.

" We've all got a big day tomorrow I think it's about time we all head to bed." Allan announced, leaning forward in his recliner and starting the process of trying to get up.

" In our own rooms." Shawn clarified, throwing a pointed but joking look at Josh and Maya who were seated on the couch with Riley on Maya's other side.

" By ourselves." Alan contributed.

" Were we will all stay." Shawn piped in.

" In our own rooms." Alan added.

"By ourselves." Shawn repeated. Amy could tell that this could go on all night and cut the two boys off.

" Enough they get it. We all get it. To bed!" She declared, getting up from her own chair and pulling Alan up.

Riley had her head down on Maya's shoulder, her body shaking slightly as she laughed silently.

" I don't get it." Auggie whispered to Josh, feeling confused. Josh just shook his head at his nephew, giving him a playful push and getting to his feet. Throwing Maya a smile.

"Alright giggles let's go." Maya declared, standing up and pulling Riley with her. Riley's face was red from laughing as she let Maya tow her up the stair and toward their bedroom.

…

Josh and Maya followed the rules at first. They got ready for bed, went to their separate rooms and attempted to go to sleep. Maya and Riley were sharing the queen sized bed in what used to be morgans and was now the guest room. Riley fell asleep almost instantly, but Maya found herself tossing and turning, trying to get comfortable enough to fall asleep.

It had been almost two hours by the time that Maya picked up her phone and opened up the app for yahtzee. She and Josh had been playing the virtual game online together for the past few weeks. Maya took her turn and was about to exit out of the app, assuming that Josh wouldn't play back until the morning but was surprised when he responded almost instantly. They played back and forth for a while until one of them finally won. Then her phone buzzed with a text from Josh.

It read: Meet me in the hallway? I want to show you something.

Maya paused for just a second, considering what she should do, if she should be good and just stay in bed like she was supposed to, but soon she was carefully climbing out of bed and tip toeing over to the door and pulling it open.

Josh was already standing there. Neither of them said anything, in fear of waking up the others but Josh smiled at her and extended his hand. She took it and allowed him to her surprise to pull her back into his room. He closed the door behind him as Maya looked around the room where Josh had grown up.

"You've got a window seat? Do they run in the family?" She asked softly.

" They must." Josh concluded as he took her hand again and lead her over to it. Maya was confused as to what exactly he wanted to show her, when Josh pushed open the window and began to climb out.

"What are you doing?" Maya hissed.

"Come on." Josh said softly, calling to her from the patch of roof outside the window. Maya climbed out the window after Josh, who was already climbing up the steeper patch to get higher on the roof. He extended his hand out to her and Maya took it.

"See this is when I require the chivalry." Maya huffed, as he pulled her up further on the roof until they reached patch of flat top.

" Sit down." Josh encouraged, taking a seat himself. Maya sat down beside him and looked out over the yard. Auggie had set his tent up in the corner of the yard away from most of the equipment for the barbeque.

"Quite the view." Maya said, looking out at the grass and the roofs of the other houses.

" The real view is up." Josh stated. Maya tipped her head up to the sky and felt her heart drop in her chest. There were so many stars in the sky that it almost made Maya's head spin.

" God. I can't remember the last time I really saw the stars." Maya muttered softly.

" Thought so ." Josh said with a smile, draping his arm around Maya's back. Living in New York meant a lot of light pollution which meant that the stars were almost never visible but this sleepy Philadelphia suburb let the stars shine on their own.

Maya stared up at them transfixed. When she was a little girl and Katy would take her to see her grandmother in Delaware Maya's favourite part was going out into the yard after dark and laying out in the grass, staring up at the sky and trying to count the stars. She glanced over at Josh who was looking up at the stars to.

"Thank you." Maya said softly, watching his face as he watched the stars. Josh looked over at her and smiled. He brought his other hand up and wrapped it around the side of her neck letting his thumb graze her cheek softly. Maya leaned in as Josh moved to kiss her. It was a long deep kiss, the kind that made her head spin just as much if not more than the stars above her. She reached up one of her hands and let it rest against Josh's neck. Josh was pulling Maya closer to him when the sound of a door slamming below them made them both start and jump apart.

Down on the lawn below them Alan was stocking across the yard in his house coat, headed towards the smoker that was set along the side of the garage. Alan opened the door and began messing around with whatever he had inside.

"He is so obsessed with getting this brisket just right that he'll probably be out here three more times tonight." Josh whispered, dipping his head low so he was speaking right into Maya's ear. The feeling of his hot breath against her skin made goosebumps rise on Maya's arms. Maya had to bite her hand to keep herself from laughing and alerting Alan to their presence on the roof. After a few minutes Alan shut the door to the smoker and began shuffling back into the house.

" We should probably get back inside too." Josh admitted, his arm still wrapped tightly around her. Maya looked at him and found that he was watching her, and that his eye's were trained on her lips.

"Probably." Maya admitted although she was leaning in closer to the point that she could feel Josh's breath on her face.

" But maybe just a few more minutes." Maya conceded, leaning forward and connecting their lips once again.

 **Okay I know I said I was going to get into the 4th this chapter but what can I say? It got away from me. But you'll see me it next chapter I promise! Thank you again for all your suggestions and PLEASE keep them coming! Hope you enjoyed!**


	65. Chapter 65

SS 65

Maya crept back into the room she was sharing with Riley, being careful to shut the door as quietly as she could. She tiptoed over to the bed and eased herself down onto the bed as gently as possible. Riley had her back to her as Maya laid down and pulled the blankets back up over her.

" Welcome back." Riley muttered. Maya rolled her eyes.

" I was gone 20 minutes. Tops." Maya defended.

" We're supposed to stay in our own rooms." Riley teased her, flipping over so they were face to face.

" By ourselves." Riley continued, poking her with her toes.

" Oh shut up." Maya muttered back, kicking Riley's foot away. Riley just smirked at her.

" Go to sleep." Maya suggested, grabbing her pillow and trying to bunch it into the correct shape.

" Sleep well." Riley muttered, already drifting off towards sleep.

"You too pumpkin." Maya said softly, closing her eyes and waiting for sleep to wash over her.

….

Maya and Riley woke up early the next morning and they could already hear Amy rushing around downstairs. They yawned, stretched and climbed out of bed, shuffling down the stairs and into the living room. Amy seemed a little surprised to see the two walked down the stairs.

"Good morning girls. You're early risers." She remarked, gesturing for them to follow her into the the kitchen.

" It'll just be use for a while. I'm sure the rest of the brood won't be up for hours. " She stated, bringing a few empty mugs to the table and placing them in front of the two girls.

" Do you girls drink coffee?" She asked unsure, stopping herself before she poured.

" Yes please" Maya and Riley both muttered. Amy filled their cups.

" I couldn't remember from christmas. It was so hectic that I can't keep anything straight. Hopefully this year will be a little more laxed. Morgans just across the street so living quarters won't be quite so tight." Amy said wistfully.

"But it's far too early to even be thinking about christmas let alone talking about it." Amy said correcting herself.

" I recommend a light breakfast as i'm sure we'll all be gorging ourselves by the afternoon. With the amount of food i've made we better be."

"What time are people arriving?" Riley asked.

" Oh they'll be trickling in and out all afternoon. It'll probably start around noon. This mornings the only quiet time we'll have all day."

…

"This one's my favourite. Halloween when he was four. The tiniest little harry potter you've ever seen." Amy crooned, passing the photo to Maya.

"Oh my god look at his little glasses." Maya awed, showing the picture to Riley.

" I don't know. I personally think i made a cuter harry potter." Riley said definitely, pushing the picture back across the table.

At some point during the morning Amy had pulled out a box of photos from a cupboard in the living room. The kitchen table was now covered in differnt picture of Cory and Eric as children and teenagers, but most of the pictures ended up being of Josh, Amy making a point of showing Maya photos of him throughout the years.

"And here's kindergarten graduation." Amy said, passing the photo over once again.

"Is this Josh?" Maya asked, picking up a photo of a tiny baby in an incubator. Amy glanced at the photo that Maya was holding. A sad smile spread across her face.

"Yes that's him." Maya held the photo continuing to look down at the photo, unable to take her eyes off it.

"He was so tiny." She said aloud, her voice almost a whisper.

" He was. You could hold him in your cupped hands. He was a premi. Born the 33rd week."

" I didn't know that." Riley said allowed, surprised that it had never been brought up in family conversation.

" It was touch and go for a little while, he had an infection and his lungs were so weak, but you know Josh, he's my little fighter. It took a toll on him growing up. His lungs were never great, and he got sick a lot. He was smaller than the other kids for a long time but he came up from behind and look where he is now." Amy said proudly, straightening her stack of photos and smiling at the two girls sitting at the table with her.

Maya felt a little shocked at this whole part of Josh's life that she knew nothing about. She wondered if this was one of the reasons that he was such a good observer and was so insightful. Was it because he had been forced to hang back and what while other kids his age ran around and rough housed.

"Here look at this one, Christmas when he was 6. He tried to stick his head in the fireplace to see if Santa was there already" Amy said laughing, turning the photo so they could see.

"Oh god mom," Josh said sleepily, walking into the kitchen and rubbing his eyes.

"Tell me you didn't break out the photo box." He complained, walking to the coffee machine and pouring himself a cup before coming to stand over their shoulders and survey the mass of photos on the table.

" What did you expect? This is the first time you've ever brought a girl home, it's my duty to embarrass you." Amy said, winking at Maya. Josh groaned. Maya felt her cheeks burn from

Amy's words as Josh placed his hand on her shoulder and gave it soft squeeze.

…

Despite the busy nature of the day Amy still took the time to braid Maya's hair. Riley had been attempting to french braid Maya's hair for her and been failing miserably. Amy had come over and ushered Riley out of the way. She took Maya's long blonde hair in her nimble hands and began to brush it through with her fingers, creating two neat tight braids, one on either side of her head. It was a simple act, but it was something that Maya's mother used to do for her. She felt the prick of tears in her eyes but she quickly blinked them back.

Amy was a natural born mother, kind, caring, loving, and supportive. She had four children of her own, multiple grandchild, and yet she still had room to sweep Maya under her wing. Maya had lost her mother at an age when she needed her most. Topanga filled part of the void and in a way Amy was ready to fill another.

…

Cory and Topanga arrived a little before noon, when everyone was rushing around, setting up tables and firing up the grill. Neighbours would be arriving soon, but the food couldn't be set out too soon to sit in the sun.

Riley had donned a red and white sundress while Maya had opted for dark denim shorts and a white t shirt. She'd folded a red bandana into a headband and tied it around the top of her head, pinning her braids down.

"Don't you look festive." Shawn commented as they came down the stairs and headed for the backyard.

" It's called being patriotic." Maya corrected, and she and Riley blew past them and headed out to where the barbecue was getting started.

Most of the neighbours who came brought food along with them, and the tables holding all the food were practically overflowing and nothing had even been grilled yet. Alan and several of the other men from the neighbourhood were gathered around the grill arguing about the proper temperature to cook hamburgers at and if cooking on the top rack was realistic.

Auggie was running around with other kids from the neighbourhood , spraying each other with water guns they had found in the garage.

Maya had loaded up a plate piled high with pastas salad, fresh made salsa and more cheesies than was reasonable for a single person to consume. Everyone was milling around and mingling. Maya had settled herself on one of the adirondack chairs and was about to dig into her food when Riley came flouncing over, with no food or plate but a red solo cup that Maya was almost nervous to ask what was in.

Riley plopped herself down in the chair beside Maya.

" Are we having fun yet?" Riley asked, raising her cup to her lips.

"We're having an alright time." Maya answered, reaching out and taking the cup out of Riley's hand and raising it to her nose to sniff it.

" Jesus. How much vodka is in this?" Maya asked, holding onto the cup rather than handing it back.

" Just a touch. Can you blame me? I'm at my first family function after a breakup. Three people have already asked me where Lucas is. People i've never met before. I need to drink." Maya dumped the contents of the drink into the grass.

" I know you don't want to hear this but drowning your sorrows probably isn't the best move. Do you remember Morgan's wedding? I've done the whole drinking to forget thing and it really won't do you any favours. So, may I suggest that this time we eat our feelings rather than drink ourselves into liver failure?" Maya suggested, holding out her plate to Riley. Riley gave her a disgruntled look but eventually accepted the plastic fork and took a bite of the macaroni from the plate.

"Do you want a burger?" Maya asked, seeing that a fresh platter had been set out. Riley nodded and Maya pushed her way out of her seat and moved through the crowed to one of the food tables.

Eric and Cory were the one's manning the grill at this point which made Maya slightly hesitant to take anything that they'd cooked. She took a new plate and two buns, loading them up with patties and all the toppings that Maya knew Riley liked. Josh came walking up to her just as she was inspecting the brisket that Alan had spent over 12 hours smoking.

"Do you think this thing is any good?" Maya asked Josh, trying to decide if she should take a piece or not.

" I mean it smells good." Maya continued still considering.

" Do you want to know why my dad's not at the grill right now?" Josh asked speaking in a hushed tone so that no one around them could hear. It was true that Alan had been standing protectively over the grill all day, so it was slightly odd that he wasn't there now.

" I don't know. He's enjoying a party like a normal person?" Maya suggested, deciding to take a piece of brisket and loading up enough potato salad for her and Riley to share.

" No. It's because he wanted to talk to me."

" Talk to you?" Maya asked not getting it.

" Talk to me." Then Maya realized what Josh meant.

" Ooh." Maya tried to stifle her laughter, and she raised her hand to her mouth .

"Yes the same kind of talk that he had with me when i was in the 11th grade, happened again, just now." Maya tried to hide her amusement but was failing.

" He felt the need to give me a refresher course." Maya had to put her plate down on the table so she didn't drop it while she wrapped her arm around her waist, holding her stomach as it ached from trying to keep her laughter contained.

" Oh you think this is funny?" Josh asked her trying to to seem amused herself.

"Yeah kind of. It's not me this time so I can appreciate the humor in it. "

" yeah yeah." Josh muttered.

" You're cute when you're flustered. " Maya stated, watching Josh still amused.

" Is that so?" Maya smirked up at him. Josh leaned down to kiss her when a blast of water hit the two of them. They both looked in the direction that the attack had some from to see Shawn standing a few feet away with a water gun he had clearly snatched from one of the neighbourhood kids.

" None of that." He demanded, firing a warning shot of water in their direction again. Maya rolled her eyes at her dad and picked up her plate.

" You should never be armed." Maya shot back, taking Josh's hand and pulling him in the direction of where Riley was seated.

"That's right. Keep it moving." Shawn called after them, sending a few more spurts of water in their direction.


	66. Chapter 66

SS 66

 **Hi! Sorry for the little hiatus. I was pretty consistent there for a minute but life happens and motivation and inspiration fades. I still have lots I want to do with the story but getting there can be hard sometimes! Anyway, here we are. Let's get going. This chapter is a touch of a filler but hey what's a girl to do?**

The rest of July and most of August rushed by before Maya could even notice. She spent a few days a week spending a few hours at the cafe, spent long lazy afternoons lounging on lawn chairs on the apartment roof with Riley, trying to relax despite the sound of the traffic below. Towards the end of July Shawn had taken Maya on a week long trip to Seattle, and driven down the Oregon coast. Despite having grown up with the Atlantic ocean within spitting distance Maya was amazed at how different it felt to be at the pacific. The west coast felt like a whole different world to her, and she had had a moment of doubt wondering if she had made the wrong decision in staying in New York. But when she thought of the city, and Riley, and Josh, and she looked up at Shawn beside her she knew she had made the right choice.

The art workshop Maya had been saving for took up a lot of her time in August. Despite all the work that Maya had done in order to pay for the classes herself, Shawn had flat out demanded to pay for it. Maya had tried to protest but Shawn was adamant that she save her money for something else. She came home each day for a few weeks with her jeans and arms splattered with paint but had almost never felt so happy. She missed spending so much time in a studio and hoped that she'd get more of a chance in the future.

Between her classes and continued shifts at the cafe Maya was often exhausted, but she spent almost all of her free waking moments with her friends. It was hard to think about the fact that the three of them were going in different directions that coming September. Riley to Philadelphia, Farkle to Princeton in New Jersey, and Maya still there just where she always was. They had spent almost their whole lives together, other friends had joined their group but the three of them had been the beginning and they would be the end. So much would be different once they all started school in the Fall, sure they would still talk and text and visit each other on the weekends but it would never be the same as if was before. Maya was comforted by the fact that she wouldn't be completely alone that fall. At least she would have Josh to lean on for comfort and company.

They didn't spend as much time together for the summer as either one of them would was still working full time with the school board despite classes not being in session and Maya was so wrapped up in art and her job and her friends that sometimes a week would pass without them seeing each other. They still texted and talked on the phone, and occasionally Josh would stop into the cafe before work when Maya was on shift. Sometimes Maya worried that she and Josh were going to drift apart. Once school started they were likely to have almost as little time as they did now. But then they would have a free evening together and they would spend the night sitting on the crappy couch in his cramped apartment and Maya would find herself so content and comfortable that her worries would fade into the background.

While Maya was grateful to get to spend so much time with her best friends she often find it slightly difficult. Maya tried to contain her exasperation as the two moaned about their newfound loneliness over bowls of handmade ice creams at one of the shops down the street. Maya wanted to be sympathetic to her friends but there was only so much one person could take of two people reminiscing about how happy they used to be.

Maya tried her best to enjoy the time she had left with her friends but there was always the nagging thought in the back of her mind that their time together was quickly coming to a close. Her life would look so different in only a few weeks. There were times when she would look at Riley across the table while they sat together drinking coffee or picking away at a pizza they were sharing and Maya would have to hold back her tears. She wasn't really saying goodbye to her best friend, they would see each other on the occasional weekend and at holidays but not sleepinging under the same roof as Riley every night made her feel sad and unsettled.

Maya tried to put on the facade that she was excited about what was to come but that was mostly for Shawn and Riley's benefit. Riley excited about starting her classes and moving to Philadelphia but she knew that she worried about Maya and being apart. Maya kept up a positive mood around her best friend, not wanting her to feel more guilty than she already did about choosing Penn. Then there was Shawn who was so excited for Maya. Getting into Hudson was a big deal and definitely nothing to scoff at. Shawn about how well she was doing and wanted her to have the full college experience, even insisting that Maya stay in the dorms so she could have a sense of independence and the whole social experience.

Maya had been surprised when Shawn suggested she apply for a dorm, afterall their apartment was only a 35 minute train ride from the school and Maya hadn't thought that the expense would be worth it. But Shawn had brushed her money worries off. Maya knew that there had been a payout from the life insurance policy her grandmother had taken out on Katy years ago that named Maya as the beneficiary, but she had no idea what the amount was. Shawn handled all the finances and Maya had never wanted to ask. Shawn told her that if she wanted to try out living in the dorms she should do so, but that her room was still her room and he would be more than happy to have her around at all times, regardless of if she got a dorm or not.

So Shawn had taken her shopping for a comforter set for her dorm, and a mini fridge, pillows, and storage containers. He talked animatedly about how much fun he had had during his time at university and how excited he was for her to have the same experience. Maya didn't want to dampen his mood so she did her best to match his energy, hoping that if she played along long enough she would start to feel truly excited about the coming school year.

Josh was the only person who truly knew how nervous she was. She didn't feel any guilt admitting her true emotions to him the way she would while talking to Shawn or Riley. Josh listened to her while she talked over the phone expressing her nervousness, and her slight excitement and her was a good listener and he confided in her how nervous he had been when he had first started university herself.

Two weeks before the start of the school year Josh had come over to Maya and Shawn's apartment and sat with Maya while she waited for her roommate assignment to come in. Riley had been assigned her roommate at the end of July, a plucky strawberry blonde girl from Georgia named Bonnie. They'd been emailing back and forth ever since and Maya had had to pretend not to be jealous about the idea of Riley getting a new best friend, if only in Philadelphia

Maya had filled out the roommate survey, answering such questions like

What was her major? She'd answered Undecided, which Shawn and assured her was a very popular answer for an incoming freshman.

Are you neat or messy? Maya had answered somewhere in between.

Do you stay up late or get up early? Stay up late.

Do you shower in the morning or at night? Mostly at night.

Study habits: Did the room need to be quiet or could there be music on.

Did she like to go out or did she prefer to stay in on the weekend. The questions and answers went on and on and since submitting her profile Maya had been waiting for her match up, hoping that she'd at least get along with the girl she'd be sharing a bedroom with for the next 9 or 10 months.

When the email with her roommate assignment came in Maya had almost been too nervous to open in. She had called Josh and he had come right over to her apartment after work, bringing a box of pizza with him. He'd placed it on the coffee table in front of them as he sat down on the couch beside Maya as she pulled up her email and clicked the link to see her roommates profile.

The girl who appeared on her screen looked nice enough, not that she could tell much from a photo. She had a oval face and big brown eyes that were almost too big for her face but not quite. She had olive skin and big dark curly hair. Her preferences seemed to match up with Maya's decently and Maya hoped that that would be enough for them to get long for the next few months. She was a chemistry major and from Indiana. Her name was Sasha .

"There she is." Maya said matter of factly, placing the laptop on the coffee table in front of them and reaching for a piece of pizza. Josh reached for his own piece, and passed Maya a napkin while Hudson twinned around their ankles, looking for a way to jump up on the couch between them and nose his way into a piece of pizza.

"That's it? You're not going to email her?" Josh inquired, Maya rolled her eyes at him.

" Not right away. I don't want to look desperate." Maya explained as if it was obvious. Maya took another bite of her pizza and swallowed before she spoke again, reaching to pull the laptop towards her once more.

" We can however stalk her online to determine if she's a literal psycho or not." she joked pulling up her facebook and typing the girls name into the search bar.

"Oh is that how that works?" Josh asked in amusement.

"Yeah and i've got to tell you, you're online presence makes you come off like a huger serial killer." Maya joked, nudging him with her elbow. Josh shook his head at her and watched over her shoulder and Maya clicked through her new roommates social media profiles. After only a few minutes Maya went silent and her face fell.

"What are you thinking about?" Josh asked softly, watching her face carefully.

"What if it's awful? What if we hate each other and I can't even stand to be in the room with her. What then?"

" She isn't going to hate you, it's impossible, but if you can't get along you could always put in a request for a room transfer and it's not like your room here isn't waiting for you if you need an escape, plus.." Josh continued, tightening his arm around her shoulder

" I promise to let you crash on my couch, rent free." Maya smirked, raising her eyebrows at him.

"The couch?" she teased, bumping her hip against his own. He didn't say anything, just smirked down at her.

"Swear?" Maya asked, lifting up her pinky to him. Josh wrapped his own finger around her own.

"Swear."

 **Okay there we are. That's it for today. Tell me what you think/ what you're feeling should go down in the future. Thank you for all your support! 3.**


	67. Chapter 67

SS 67

" This is Kate's beach house?" Riley asked in astonishment. It was Labour day weekend, just a few days before they were all set to start school and Riley, Maya, and Farkle had been staying down the shore line in a house that Farkle's father usually lent out to clients. Their parents had been the one's to suggest it, thinking that a few days spent at the beach would be the best way for the group to say their big goodbye. Their parents had given them each a talk in turn about responsibility and trust before sending them off to spend the weekend by themselves. They were technically adults and about to strike out on their own after all.

They had spent the first day lounging lazily on the beach, playing in the water and playing board games around the dining room table. The next morning Maya had gotten a text from Josh telling her that Kate had a house down the beach and was throwing together a last minute day rager.

Maya wasn't sure how last minute it could be when the majority of Kates friends lived in New York which was at least a two hour drive away if traffic was light. They hadn't been sure if they were going to show up to this thing at all. It was their last weekend together and they wanted to spend as much quality time together as possible but after a few days cooped up in the beach house they were ready for a slight change of scenery, even if it was just a few miles down the beach. With school looming so close they all had a lot of nervous energy they needed to get out.

The three friends had climbed into the rental jeep that Maya and Riley had been shocked to find Farkle was licensed to drive and had headed the few miles down the beach towards Kate's family beach house.

Maya had thought that Farkle's family cottage had been impressive but it had nothing on this place which stood tall and imposing against the backdrop of the atlantic ocean.

"This is the address." Maya confirmed, looking down at the text Josh had sent her to confirm. They could hear music coming from around the back of the house and rather than walking up to the front door the small group edged their way around the side until they reached the back patio. There was more than a hundred people milling around the pool and the barbeque.

"Holy shit." Farkle muttered as the small group stood at the end of the party.

"This is last minute?"

Maya was already moving forward towards the grill where a stack of burgers had been assembled. They had been living off chips and snack food the entire time they had been at the beach, none of them exactly experts at feeding themselves.

They lingered slightly awkwardly by the grill for a new minutes, Maya eating her burger like she hadn't seen food in days, trying to figure out their next course of action.

"Is that Dara Mckinnon?" Farkle asked, pointing out a girl in the crowed who had graduated wit them.

"I think so." Riley concluded, craning her neck to see over the crowed.

"And that's Reese Sampson." Maya stated, pointing out another person they had graduated with.

Suddenly Kate was standing in front of them, a drink in her hand and her oversized sunglasses taking up most of the top half of her face. She pushed them up into her hair as she reached them. She wrapped her arms around the three of them in a welcoming embrace despite the fact that she'd never met Farkle before.

"I'm so glad you guys made it!" She crooned, raising her voice to be heard over the music that was booming from a speaker.

" My little brother is here, he's about your age and he's a bit of a social butterfly so I think that half of your high school is here, so there should be lots of friendly faces." Kate promised, beaming at them.

"I see you've already found the food, but there are drinks over by the sliding doors and pool floats over by the fence if you want to go for a swim. Other than that mingle. Have fun. Maya, I think that Josh is up on the sun deck. Or at least he was. Like an hour ago. There's so many people I can't keep track. " Kate rambled, brushing her hair out of her face.

"Go!" Kate encouraged, sweeping them into the party. " Have fun!." she urged again. Just like that Kate was absorbed back into the crowed.

"So.." Maya began turning to face her friends.

" Go find Josh." Riley encouraged, smiling at her knowingly. " We'll catch up with you in a bit." she promised. Maya shot her two friends a smile and promised to find them later and turned to move into the crowed. She figured that Josh was probably still up on the sun deck where it was less crowded.

She worked her way through the crowd, stopping at one of the many coolers to fish herself out a drink. She wound her way up the metal spiral staircase off the patio that led up to the sun roof. There were clusters of patio furniture on the sprawling deck, umbrellas set to provide shade and an amazing view of the ocean and the party below. It took her a few moments to spot Josh where he was seated on the far side of the deck. He and Randall were seated in two Adirondack chairs facing out to the ocean. She made her way over to them, stopping a few times on the way to wave or say hi to a few people she recognized from school.

"Boys." Maya greeted them, settling herself down on the wing of Josh's chair and wrapping her arm around his shoulder for balance. Randy gave her a nod and Josh smiled up at her, reaching up and letting his elbow rest across her lap so he could place his hand on her knees.

"You guys found the place alright?" Josh asked. Maya nodded.

" I mean you can hear the music from a mile down the beach so it wasn't hard.' she joked. Josh tapped his fingers on her knee.

" We were just talking about how it's the last weekend of summer." Josh mentioned casually, looking up at Maya with a knowing glint in his eyes. Maya clenched her jaw. She knew what Josh was referring to.

They had been betting on the outcome of the trials of Kate and Randall for a few months now. Maya was convinced that by summer's end they would have gotten together. Josh didn't have any faith in that. Just like their last bet Josh and Maya hadn't heard set any terms but were waiting it out until the end of the allotted time.

" You're right." Maya conceded, shooting Josh a dirty look before looking up brightly at Randal.

" It's the last weekend of summer. So we should probably make it count."

Josh looked up at her, narrowing his eyes.

"Are you leading the witness?" He whispered through clenched teeth.

"I'm doing what it takes to win." Maya whispered back, smirking down at him.

"Now." Maya started, clapping her hands together.

"Enough hiding up here. Let's go get another drink." Maya encouraged, standing up and offering her hands to both the boys to pull them up.

….

"Are you up here pouting? Maya teased. It was a few hours later and Josh was leaning up against the railing of the sun deck.

" You cheated." Josh accused. Maya rolled her eyes at him.

" I did not. I just artfully manipulated the situation in order to achieve what I wanted. What they wanted."

" You slapped Randall across the face and told him to man up."

" Okay I did not hit him hard and he thanked me for that." Maya pointed out, leaning against the rail beside Josh.

"Cheater." Josh stated again, pursing his lips.

" I'm sorry that I was right." Maya conceded, bumping her hip against his. Josh scoffed at her.

" Just because it took you three years to admit that you liked me doesn't mean that the rest of the world is that slow." Maya joked. This time it was Josh's turn to roll his eyes.

" You're just mad because I won. That's right. I won. I'm two for two baby." Maya bragged.

" Um if memory serves me right I won the first bet." Josh pointed up.

"You won that bet under false pretences, which in my books is actually a forfeit. Therefore I won. " Maya argued.

" You keep thinking that."

"I will, and regardless of that I won this one. Don't you forget it." Maya continued.

" and I will take my dear sweet time figuring out what my reward is." she promised.

"Yeah, yeah." Josh muttered, a little bitterly but still amused. The two turned around so that they were facing the water and the party below them. They leaned their elbows against the railing and looked out over all that was below them. Josh shifted and wrapped his arm around Maya's waist.

"They do look happy." Josh conceded, referring to Kate and Randal who were sitting on the same lounge chair down by the pool.

" I just didn't think he'd have the guts."

" Some people just need a little push." Maya stated, leaning her head against Josh's shoulder. They stood there for a few moments, taking in the view before Maya saw two people enter the party. Her whole body went stiff.

"Shit." She muttered, under her breath, lifting her head off Josh's shoulder.

"What?" He questioned, confused at the look on her face.

"Lucas is here." Maya muttered, pushing away from the railing and moving backwards towards the staircase.

"What?" Josh asked confused, leaning over the railing and peering down into the crowed. Sure enough he saw Lucas and Zay moving through the crowd and towards the grill.

"Shit." Josh muttered as well, turning to follow Maya. He caught up to Maya on the stairs but had to hurry to keep up with her.

"Where are you going?" He asked although he knew it was kind of a stupid question. He knew exactly where Maya was headed.

"To find Riley." She shouted back over her shoulder.

"The last time I saw her was 20 minutes ago when she was helping me coral Kate over to the pool but where is she" Maya asked almost frantically, stopping and turning abruptly to look in the other direction, causing her to jump right into Josh who was directly behind her. Josh grabbed her shoulders to steady her.

"Just take a breath. We'll find her." He promised.

"We better, and fast."

 **Thank you for reading!**

.


	68. Chapter 68

SS 68

Maya sent Josh to search the bottom level of the house as she set out to search the patio and pool area. Her heart was pounding out of her chest. She wasn't sure how Riley was going to react. She knew that Riley had just stopped crying herself to sleep at night, but she knew her best friend was still truly heart broken no matter what she said. Riley didn't talk much about the details of her heart break to Maya but she could tell when her friend was hurting. She wasn't sure what would happen if or when Riley saw Lucas. Would she get angry? Or sad? Would she want to run away or would she want to talk to him? Maya wasn't sure which would be worse. Maya knew first hand how well running away from your problems worked, but she also worried that talking to Lucas might open old wounds rather than providing closure.

In her frantic searching of the crowed to find Riley she had lost track of Lucas and Zay, a small part of her hoped that they had ditched the party all together so she wouldn't have to deal with it, but she also felt slightly guilty for thinking that. Despite everything that had happened they were her friends too, and it would be nice to see them one final time before they all left for college. It was as if Maya and Zay had both picked sides in the battle of Riley and Lucas and their friendship had been lost in the mix. Maya was still pushing through the crowded, typing out a frantic text to Riley when she accidently bumped into someone. She glanced up to apologize when she realized just who she had run into.

"Zay." Maya was almost out of breath as she spoke. Zay's eyes went wide when he saw that it was her. Maya quickly scanned the people beside them and saw that Lucas wasn't with him.

"What are you doing here?" Zay asked, clearly as shocked to see her as she had been to spot him in the crowd.

"This is my friends house." Maya offered as a simpler explanation.

"Why are you here?" She pressed, still going up on tiptoes to see past him and into the crowed to look for Riley.

"Half the school is here. I got a text about this thing this morning and we decided to drive down." That sentence seemed to jog something in Zays memory and he realized why there was such a look of panic on Maya's face.

" Are you here with" but he didn't even have to finish the sentence before Maya jumped in with the response

"Yes, and I know he's here too so we kind of need to find them before they find each other." Maya explained. Zay nodded in agreement, wiping a hand across his face trying to clear his head.

"Lucas was just headed to the bathroom.I'll try and track him down." Maya nodded and Zay hurried off in the direction of the house.

Maya jumped at the feeling of her phone vibrating in her hand. She glanced down at the screen and was flooded with relief when she saw Riley's name there. She quickly answered the call.

"What's wrong are you okay?" Riley asked in a panic.

"Yes I'm fine just listen to me." Maya started but Riley quickly cut her off.

" You texted me 911 like eleven times. You don't do that unless there's an emergency! What happens one day when there's an actual emergency and I"

"Riley!" Maya snapped sharply, and she fell silent on the other end of the line.

" Lucas is here." She said as calmly as she could. Maya heard an intake of breath on the other side of the phone but Riley didn't say anything.

" He came out here with Zay and I just wanted you to know so you didn't have a heart attack if you saw him in the crowded." Maya continued, running her hands through her hair.

"What do you want to do?" Maya asked,

"Do you want to leave?" it was quiet for a few seconds before Riley spoke. Her voice was quiet but fairly sure.

" No. I think I want to talk to him." Maya felt her heart stop.

" Are you sure?" She asked nervous about how this might affect her friend.

"I've been thinking about it a lot lately actually. I don't like the way we ended things, and I think that If we don't leave it off right i'm just going to keep festering about it for months." Maya swallowed the lump in her throat.

" That's probably smart." Maya agreed.

"Where are you?" Maya asked, still looking around the party.

"I'm just in the bathroom. There's probably a line a mile long outside i've been held up in her all this time talking to you." Riley confessed. Maya took a breath.

" Well I'm pretty sure that Lucas was heading in that direction so maybe be careful when you open the door." Maya warned.

"Thank you. I'll find you in a little while" Riley said quietly before hanging up the phone. Maya slide her phone into her pocket and let out a huff, trying to release some of the pent up anxiety she had been feeling trying to hunt Riley down.

She walked back towards the house and had just reached the front deck in time to see Josh coming through the glass door.

" I didn't find her but she may be lost in the sea of people waiting for a bathroom. You'd think in a house this large there would be enough to go around." Maya patted his arm.

"It's alright. I already talked to her, she's been fully debriefed and now she's trying to find him so that they can talk."

"Wow. How smoothly do we think that's going to go?" Maya shrugged.

"I don't think it's going to ba as bad as the last time when he threw the ring at her but I can't guarantee they're going to come out of it unharmed. " Maya confessed.

Just then Farkle came pushing through the crowded towards them.

" I just saw Zay and he told me that Lucas is here?" he asked with a notable amount of alarm in his tone.

"Yeah we know. I think he and Riley are talking." Maya confessed. Farkle let out a sigh.

"Thank god. I've been trying to get her to call him for past six weeks. She needs closure or forgiveness or something or she'll go crazy. At least she's finally listening to me." Farkle said with a huff.

" And what about you? Do you need to call Smackle for some proper closure?" Maya asked, pressing her luck.

" We're not talking about me right now." Farkle said defensively.

" I need a drink" he muttered, turning to walk away from them.

" I might have just poked a sleeping bear with that one." Maya admitted, turning back to Josh.

" I can't help it. I stir the pot when i'm stressed." Maya said defensively. Running her hand through her hair.

"Ugh. I can't stand this, this waiting to see what happens between them, and this talk. I need to do something. I need a distraction. A drink or" But Josh cut her off, leaning down to kiss her. Maya pulled back for a second.

"That will work." She conceded, reaching up to interlock her fingers behind his neck and leaning up to kiss him again.

It was more than an hour later when Riley finally came to find them. Josh and Maya were tangled together on the same lounge chair, watching people splash around in the pool and mill about.

Riley came up to them and took a seat at the end of the chair. Her eyes were slightly swollen as if she had been crying recently but not to the point that anyone who wasn't look for it would have noticed.

"How did it go?" Maya asked, sitting up a bit straighter and leaning forward towards Riley to place her hand over her friends. Riles took a breath before she started to speak.

"A lot better than last time." Riley admitted.

" A lot less screaming, a few fewer tears, and ugh I think it's going to be okay. It took spending these months apart for me to know that I don't want to lose him altogether. We can't be together, at least not now or maybe not ever but we were friends first. I don't ever want to stop being his friend. So we're taking a page from your guys book."

Maya narrowed her eyes at her friend.

" What do you mean?" She asked genuinely confused.

" Maybe it'll happen. Maybe it won't. But there's a possibility of a someday." Riley explained. Maya felt Josh's arm tighten a bit around her waist and she leaned back against his chest.

"That can work." Maya conceded. Glancing up at Josh and feeling a smile grow across her face.

" Seems like it." Riley stated, smiling at the two of them.

…

At the start of the summer Maya had never guessed that they would end up like this. Hell, after the whole blow up with Riley and Lucas in June Maya had never thought they would all be together as a group again. But there they were, sitting all together in a line on the beach, watching the sun go down over the water. All together. It was how they had started high school, and now it was how they would end. They didn't know what the future had in store for them but they knew that this was something that they could always come back to.


	69. Chapter 69

SS 69

"This is a nice room." Maya commented, moving over to the window and glancing out.

"You've got a really nice view of...that building." she added, turning back to face Riley. It was UPenn freshman move in day and Riley had come down to Philadelphia with the Matthews to help move Riley into her dorm. Hudsons move in and orientation wasn't for another day, giving Maya some buffer space to get Riley moved in before she had to worry about herself.

The dorm itself was nice 's room was small but at least she had her own space and only had to share a kitchen and bathroom with her roommate. Maya had to sleep in the same room with another girl and share a bathroom with three. Cory and Topanga had helped them bring up the first load of Riley's stuff and then excused themselves to run a few errands picking up last minute things for their daughters room. Maya knew that that was really just an excuse. The matthews were going to be at Penn for a few more days but Maya had to take the train back to the city that afternoon. They were giving Maya and Riley the chance to say goodbye.

"So where are you going to put up the portrait of me?" Maya joked, trying to keep the conversation light. Her chest was already tight and she knew that if she let herself there would be tears falling from her face in seconds.

But Riley wasn't saying anything. She had placed a box down on her bed and was sitting beside it, looking down at her folded hands in her lap.

Maya took another deep breathe.

"And from the 20 seconds I spoke to her, Bonnie seems nice enough. To clarify tho, that wasn't me giving you permission to like her more than me." Maya joked. Riley still didn't say anything, continuing to stare down at her hands.

"Riles?" Maya spoke softly, peering down at her friend. Riley sniffed and then raised her head. Tears were brimming her eyes, almost ready to fall.

"No." Maya said quickly, moving to stand in front of her friend.

"No. We said no crying." Maya reminded her. Riley looked up at the ceiling, trying to keep the tears at bay.

" I don't know how to do this." Riley stated, wiping at her eyes.

" I don't know how to say goodbye to you." Riley's voice had started to shake a little.

" This isn't goodbye. You're not going to war, we're just going to college." Maya reminded her although she could feel the tears really starting to well in her own eyes now. She sat down on the bed beside her and Riley immediately put her head down on Maya's shoulder. Maya could feel Riley's tears beginning to soak into the fabric of her shirt.

" You're supposed to be the optimist. I've got the market cornered on falling apart." Maya joked, trying to lighten the mood. She wrapped her arm around Riley.

"I can't help it" Riley whimpered.

"I'm going to see you in two weekends. And thanksgiving will be here before you know it." Maya promised.

"You sound like my mom."

"Well you should listen to her. She's a smart women." Maya teased, poking Riley in the stomach. Riley took her head off Maya's shoulder and stood up, pulling Maya up with her. The two hugged, standing in the centre of the small room that was now Riley's new home.

"This isn't goodbye." Maya reminded, hugging Riley tight to her.

"It's just see you later." Riley choked out a half laugh between her tears.

"That was really cheesey."

" I know. I'm not proud of it." Maya admitted.

"You've got a train to catch I guess." Riley muttered, pulling back and using her hand to whip the tears and snot from her face.

"Yeah." Maya said, smiling sadly.

"Call me when you get back to the city?"

" I will." Maya promised. They hugged one last time and Maya turned and walked out of the room, wiping the tears from her eyes as she walked.

…

Maya stared out the train window the whole ride back to the city. She did it mainly to face away from the other passengers not wanting to show anyone the silent tears that kept dripping down her cheek. Walking out of Reilly's dorm room had been one of the hardest things she had ever done. It felt so much like she was leaving a piece of her behind in that room. So much of her had been lost after her mother's death that she didn't feel like she had many extra pieces to misplace.

She had tried to pull herself together when the train started rolling into the city. She had slipped into the bathroom and splashed some water on her face. She let her hair out of it's ponytail and drank a bottle of water. She returned to her seat feeling a little more balanced. She hadn't wanted to walk out into the train station and ride the subway all the way home looking like a complete mess.

She had thought she had had it together until she was walking through the crowded train station and saw Josh standing there waiting for her.

He was about 10 feet away, scanning the crowd for her. Maya had mentioned what time her train would be getting in but she had never thought that he would show up at the station. Maya stopped in her tracks, staring at Josh until he spotted her. He gave her a sad knowing smile. Maya could feel her lip starting to quiver. Josh jerked his head back to motion her forward. Maya could feel a stray tear begin to fall down her cheek once again as she moved forward and closed the distance between her and Josh.

Josh wrapped his arms around her and Maya buried her face in his chest, not even caring that her tears would leave a splotch on Josh's shirt. He held her tight against him, rubbing circles on her shoulder. Maya took a breath to speak but didn't have any words.

"I know." Josh muttered, leaning down to press a kiss to the top of her head. Maya nodded, knowing that Josh understood exactly what she was feeling. He had witnessed first hand just how important Riley and Maya were to each other and knew that this had to be hard on her. In that moment Maya was just happy to be held. The feeling of Josh's arms around her made a hard day just a little bit easier.

"Come on." Josh encouraged, taking her bag from her and wrapping an arm around her shoulder.

"You look like you could use a slice of pizza." Maya cracked a smile, and let Josh lead her toward the street.

….

"So this is it." Shawn said wistfully, placing down a cardboard box on Maya's bed in her new dorm. He turned to face her and Maya could tell by the expression on his face that this was about to take a turn for the emotional.

" Don't do it." Maya warned, placing a box down next to the others.

" I'm only going to be a handful of blocks away, you're not even going to have the space to miss me." Maya promised. Shawn pursed his lips, running a hand through his hair and trying to keep himself together.

"No i'll miss you. More than i'd like to admit.." Shawn said simply, appraising her with a sad smile. Maya felt her heart get a little heavier in her chest.

" Okay now you're going to make me cry." Maya joked, although she could feel the prick of tears forming.

"Come here." Shawn said gruffly, pulling her forward into a hug.

" You're mom would have been so proud of you." Shawn said quietly. Maya could hear the pain in his voice as he spoke and she felt her own heart drop. A tear started to roll down her face. She could imagine what this day would have been like if Katy was still alive. How she would have fussed about the bed spread and making sure that Maya had shower shoes. She would have been the one crying and Shawn would have been the strong and casual one. They would have both hugged her goodbye despite the fact that they were having dinner together the next night. Maya would have pretended to be embarrassed by her mother but she would have been secretly pleased about all the extra attention.

Instead it was Maya and Shawn standing in the room alone, both desperately missing the person who should have been there with them.

" I love you kid." Shawn stated, wiping the stray tear off Maya's cheek with his thumb.

" I love you too Dad."

Maya could hear Shawn sniff as he turned and left the room, trying to stifle the tears. A girl entered the room just as Shawn was leaving, moving aside so that he could get passed her.

'Hey." The girl said brightly, entering the room and smiling at Maya.

"I'm Sasha." She explained, extending her hand to Maya. " You must be Maya."

"Yeah that's right." Maya confirmed reaching out to take Sasha's hand. Sasha hadn't been in the room when Shawn and Maya were moving in but a lot of her stuff had already been placed around her side of the room.

"Was that your dad that just left crying?" Sasha asked, gesturing back towards the open door behind them.

"That would be him. I don't know why he's being so dramatic, he lives about 15 blocks from here."

" I can relate" Sasha sympathised.

" My parents left this morning and they were a complete blubbering mess. I mean they live in Indiana so it isn't quite the same but I mean come on, i'm the fifth child to go to college, they should be used to it by now."

Maya cracked a smile.

" I'm an only child so i guess i can cut him some slack." Maya conceded. Sasha smiled at her.

" I haven't met the other two girls on the other side of the door yet." Sasha stated, gesturing to the door to the bathroom that they would be sharing with two other girls.

"But I did already claim us the best hooks and shelf space so I figured we should probably present a united front." She joked. Maya smirked at her.

"Probably smart."

" So you're from New York then?" Sasha asked, unpacking her sheets and starting to make her bed.

" Born and bred." Maya confirmed, moving to unpack a few of her own boxes.

" And you said Indiana?"

"Yes. I'm from the most boring town on earth." Sasha explained.

" Which for some reason my boyfriend decided to stay in so now I have to focus on not being that annoying freshman girl with a boyfriend back home who spends all her time on the phone." Sasha said jokingly.

" Wow that's gotta be hard. My boyfriend goes to school on the edge of harlem and I consider that long distance."

"Where does he go to school?" Sasha asked, struggling to get her fitted sheet to stay on her bed, it kept popping off on either end when she moved to the other side.

" He's just starting at Columbia." Maya answered, moving to the other side of the room to help Sasha with her sheet.

" Wow. So he's a freshman too?" Maya took a beat before answering the question, being sure to really tuck the corner in.

" Uhh no. He's a grad student actually." Maya explained. Sasha look up from the sheets and raised an eyebrow at her.

" Okay it's not as creepy as you think." Maya said jokingly, chucking a pillow from her end of the bed up to Sasha who was arranging them against the headboard.

" He skipped a grade so he's only three years old and i've basically known him my whole life so." Sasha just shook her head at her, smirking.

"That sounds kind of cute." Sasha conceited. Maya smirked back at her.

" We are pretty cute." Maya admitted and she and sasha moved to her side of the room to make up her own bed.

"I don't doubt."

 **There we go! Sorry for the lag between uploads! Some more drama is getting ready to be kicked up around here so stay tuned! Hope you're enjoying! Let me know what you think/ what you want to see! ( If you already put in a request I promise it's in the works!"**


	70. Chapter 70

SS 70

" I think the skirt looks fine." Sasha encouraged, barely even glancing up from the magazine she was reading on her bed.

"Are you sure?" Maya prompted, examining herself in the full length mirror they had attached to their bathroom door. It had been about a week since the two girls had moved into their dorm room and so far it had been smooth sailing.

Sasha was fairly laid back and easy to talk to and she and Maya had become somewhat of fast friends, mostly out of proximity and necessity. They got breakfast together in the dining hall and walked to class together when they both had lectures in the same building. The other two girls they shared the bathroom with, Claudia and Jana were hometown friends from Oregon and so far showed no interest in getting to know them. They had met a few other people from their floor but so far Sasha was the only person Maya had clicked with. She thought that part of the reason that they got along so well was because Sasha was also missing her best friend who went to school in Texas ironically enough.

Maya had enlisted Sasha's help to pick out an outfit to go to lunch with her grandmother. Her grandma had driven into the city from Delaware and Maya was meeting her at some fancy hotel before her afternoon class.

"Remind me again why exactly we're freaking out about this?" Sasha asked, closing her magazine and leaning against her elbows and giving Maya her full attention.

"Things with my grandma are complicated." Maya explained, turning to see if the hem of the skirt came down to an appropriate length.

"Ever since my mom died" Maya froze for a beat. She couldn't believe she had said that so casually to someone she had only known a few days. Sasha had no idea about Katy, no idea what the past few years of Maya's life had been like but this wasn't a secret that Maya was keeping, Sasha would have found out eventually.

" things have been weird between us. I think she was offended when I chose to stay with my dad in new york rather than move to Delaware to be with her. At one point she threatened to sue for custody but her husband talked her down." Maya continued, reaching for a brush to try and get her long blonde waves to cooperate.

"Why wouldn't she want you to stay with your dad?" Sasha asked curiously, and then doubled back.

"You don't have to answer that i'm just notoriously nosey." Maya turned to look at her and smiled.

" No it's fine. Shawn and I aren't actually biologically related." Maya started, she was just now realizing that she had never referred to Shawn as anything other than her father to Sasha.

" He and Mom got married when I was maybe 14 almost 15? They were together for almost two years when she died, and he legally adopted me about a year after that.I'd never really had a dad before and even though he wasn't my blood I just knew that he was my family. I wouldn't have gotten through my mom dying without him." Maya took a breath before speaking again.

"And my grandma she's… she means well but I don't really know her that well. When i was little my mom would take me to spend a few weeks of the summer there and she lived out on this old farm and i'd chase around the chickens and we'd work in her garden but then she got remarried and moved into this cookie cutter suburban neighbourhood and became this ideal little housewife. But she thought that me staying in New York was me choosing this random guy over family and things have just kind of spiraled from there. Now whenever I see her like at my graduation or holidays things are just kind of tense, and she always find a way to dig at Shawn. It's just messy." Maya said finally, pulling her hair back into a low bun.

Sasha was watching her closely, nodding along with her comments.

"Your skirt is good." She promised.

"Thank you." Maya let out a breath.

'That's all I needed to hear."

…

Maya couldn't have felt more awkward. She and her grandma were eating lunch in a fancy dining room that already made Maya feel under dressed. She and her grandma were picking away at their salads in silence, having already exhausted most of their small talk options. They had talked about Maya's classes, grandmothers drive from Delaware, and her husband's business meeting that had brought them to town.

The tension between them was palpable and Maya was more than ready for the lunch to be over. She was wishing she hadn't told her grandmother had she class wasn't until 3 because she would have loved to use the excuse of a 1:30 lecture to slip out of lunch early.

Maya could hear her phone buzzing in her bag but she knew that she couldn't answer it. Her grandmother was big on table etiquette now a days. So Maya was extremely surprised when her grandma encouraged her to answer it.

" It could be something important." Her grandmother prompted, as Maya reached down to unearth her phone from her bag.

"Hello?" She said in a hushed voice, turning down the volume on her phone to be sure that there was no chance that her grandmother could hear whoever was on the other end of the line.

"Hey." Josh said brightly.

" Hey um i'm just at lunch do you think i could call you back?" Maya asked in a hushed tone.

" Shit. I forgot that was today. Sorry." Josh quickly apologized.

" It's okay. I'll talk to you later babe." Maya answered quickly and then ended the call. She hadn't realized what she had said before she looked up and saw the look on her grandma's face. She couldn't believe she had done that. The word had just slipped out of her mouth. She'd never used terms of endearment with Josh before but of course she let one slip in front of her nosey grandmother.

"Who was that?" Her grandmother asked through pursed lips. Maya took a breath

"Uh that was Josh." Maya answered simply, picking up her water and starting to drink in the hope that her grandmother wouldn't ask any follow up questions.

"Josh?"

"Yes. You've met him."

" Is he the scruffy one that was at your graduation party?" her grandmother asked . Maya had to fight the urge to roll her eyes, Josh had been a few weeks overdue for a haircut when her grandmother last saw him but it wasn't as if he looked unkept. Maya hadn't answered her so she pressed on.

" and you're seeing this boy?" She pressed. Maya looked down at her plate and pushed her food around with her fork as she spoke.

"I am." Maya confirmed

"Hmm. Interesting."

…..

Maya stormed up the stairs to Josh's apartment in a huff. She walked right up to his door and started banging the side of her fist against the door. Josh didn't know that she was coming over but the second she had got out of lunch with her grandmother she had immediately started walking in the direction of his apartment.

She didn't even know if Josh would be home. She couldn't think straight enough to remember if he had class that afternoon or not. She was fuming.

She heard Josh's' muffled voice from the other side of the door

"Jesus christ i'm coming." Josh opened the door in confusion and his face softened slightly when he saw that it was her standing there.

"Hey.." he said in slight confusion as she moved past him into the apartment fuming.

" Don't you have class?" He asked as he closed the door and turned back to face her.

" I can't go to class. I'm in a rage." Maya said with a huff, pacing back and forth in the small space between the couch and the coffee table.

"Care to explain?" Josh prompted as he leaned against the counter and watched her with a mixture of amusement and concern.

" I just spent the last 45 minutes being talked at by my grandmother. Not talked to. Talked at. And do you want to know what she was talking at me about?" before Josh answer Maya was continuing on.

"You, and our relationship and how inappropriate and unnerving she finds it. She literally used those words. Inappropriate and unnerving, because you're old and you've been ' lingering around' all these years. God she made it sound like you had a mustache and drove a blacked out van. And God doesn't she think i'm an idiot for getting relationship right before college. As if dating you is going to make me flunk out of all my classes, and didn't she go on about me being me being irresponsible. Honestly she probably thinks i'll be a pregnant drop out by the end of the semester, and I just." Maya let out another huff and finally collapsed down on the couch.

"And I just sat there and took it. I ate the stupid green salad she told me to order and just took it. I didn't say shit so now i'm here yelling at you about it."

Josh came over to the couch and sat down beside her, wrapping an arm around her shoulders.

"So grandma's not a fan?"

"No she most definitely isn't. Which is just so unfair. She doesn't even know you. She's seen you in passing what twice? She's just so ughh." Maya said again, pressing her face down into her hands. Josh squeezed her shoulder.

"I'm sorry lunch didn't go well, but I mean one truly bad reaction out of everyone we've told about us isn't awful odds." Josh offered jokingly.

" and i'm not quite as worried about your grandmothers opinion of us as I was about your dad's." Josh paused a beat before speaking again.

" i'm sorry was that an asshole thing to say? I didn't mean that I didn't care what your grandmother thinks I just." But maya cut him off pulling his face closer to her own and kissing him.

"Lets just try not caring what other people think for a while." Maya offered.

"Works for me." Josh muttered against her lips.

 **Ah guys can you believe that it's already chapter 70? That's insane. Thank you all so much for reading and reviewing this story. I can't believe i have over 900 reviews! Thank you all so much!**


	71. Chapter 71

SS 71

 **Hi everyone! Sorry for the long break but things got a little hectic there with school and the holidays. But I'm back and hopefully i'll be updating fairly regularly again! Thank you for all the support once again! I still have so many ideas and places I want to take this story so i'm glad that there are still people willing to hang in here! I'm bringing some fresh drama this chapter so I hope you enjoy!**

One of the only guidelines that Maya had given Josh and Riley when they were planning her schedule was that she didn't want any early morning classes. She had spent the majority of her life getting up before 7 am in order to go to school each day but now that she had some semblance of control over education she was determined to be able to sleep well into the morning. The only issue with this being that the dining hall in building only served breakfast until 10. In theory Maya could have just made breakfast in her room when she was ready to get up, or just snacked on a granola bar on her way to class but the food in the dining hall was surprisingly some of the best she'd ever had. The french toast was almost as good as Shawns was, and that was saying something.

So most mornings Maya would crawl out of bed around 9 o'clock, prod awake Sasha, who also slept late and the two would shuffle on down to the dinning hall on the main floor of their building, still in their pajamas. They would get their food, eat it as quickly as possible and then slink back up to their room in an attempt to slip in a few more hours of sleep before their classes.

It was one of those mornings in early October and Maya and Sasha had swiped their meal cards and were pushing their trays along the line as they loaded up their plates mountains of hash browns and slices of fresh fruit. Maya was still in the clothes she had slept in the night before, a pair of old faded drawstring cotton jogging shorts and the old NYU t shirt that Josh had lent her when she had spent the night in his dorm room that she had never returned.

Maya and Sasha settled down at a table with a few other girls they knew from their floor and were just beginning to eat their food when a large burley guy what Maya had seen around the hall before paused at their table as he walked past.

"What's with the shirt?" He asked, looking straight at Maya. She blushed slightly. Hudson and NYU were well known rivals and normally she would have been self conscious about wearing that shirt around campus and avoided doing it, but she had slept in it the night before and hadn't thought of changing when she headed down the breakfast.

"It's my boyfriends." Maya explained simply, trying to brush it away with a shrug.

" hmm. Too bad." The boy said with a smug smirk, raising his eyebrow at her and looking at her up and down before turning away.

Maya wrinkled her nose and crossed her arms over her chest.

" What's sad is that that was probably supposed to be alluring." Sasha stated, craning her neck to watch the boy settle down at a table across the dining hall.

" I mean he has no game, but he's kind of cute." Sasha concluded. Maya shook her head as she continued to pick away at her food.

"If things don't work out with your boyfriends he could be your backup plan." The girl who was seated across from Maya, Cassidy joked. Maya smirked at her and shrugged once again

"I'm still not convinced that the boyfriend exists." Sasha stated, nudging Maya with her elbow.

"Oh shut up." Maya said through a mouthful of hash browns, shaking her head once again at her roommate. This was a running commentary that Sasha and Maya had going on. They had been friends for just over a month and spent a good chunk of their time together.

Maya hadn't introduced Sasha to Josh yet not because she was avoiding it but because they barely had any time to see each other. Maya was still settling into the school and Josh was so busy between his workload and starting a clinical introduction rotation that finding time to hang out was much more difficult then either one of them would like.

"I mean big fancy ivy league boyfriend that no one's ever seen? Sounds a little too good to be true." Sasha teased as she popped a piece of cut up fruit into her mouth.

" Hey i've never met your cow tipper and I don't doubt that he exists." Maya pointed out, jabbing her fork in Sasha's direction. This time it was Sasha's turn to roll her eyes.

" He does not tip cows, he breeds them!" Sasha defended. " and he lives in Indiana not uptown. It's different."

Maya smirked at her just as her phone began to buzz on the table beside her. She turned her phone over to reveal the screen and was surprised to see Topanga's number flashing across the screen.

"Who is it?" Sasha asked through a mouthful of eggs.

" it's my best friends mom." Maya answered, looking down at her phone in confusion.

"Are you going to answer it?" Sasha prompted. Maya clicked answer and brought the phone up to her ear.

"Hello?"

" Hi Honey." Topanga's voice was hushed, and Maya could hear the sound of clattering plates and loud noises in the background. It sounded like Topanga was at the bakery, which surprised Maya. It was a weekday and Topanga could usually be found at her law firm during this time.

"Renee called me down to the shop just now because there's someone here to see you." Topanga began, speaking slowly and clearly as if she was watching each word.

"It's your father." Topanga finally said. Maya narrowed her eyes, confused,

" But he's supposed to be in maine until-" but Maya stopped herself as she realized what Topanga was saying. She wasn't talking about Shawn. Maya felt her heart begin to sink.

" Kemit".

"I already asked him to leave, but he's very insistent on talking to you." Topanga explained, her voice thick with apology.

"It's fine. I'll be there soon." Maya said quietly, hanging up her phone before Topanga could say anything else.

"Are you okay?" Sasha asked her from across the table, not looking up from her plate. Maya didn't say a word as she got up from the table and walked out of the room, her friends calling after her.

….

Maya spotted Kermit through the store window before he saw her. He was seated at one of the tables towards the back, his hands wrapped around a cup of coffee. Maya could hardly bring herself to push open the door and walk into the room where her father sat. She had thought she had seen him for the last time, thought that maybe it was time that she could finally start to heal some of the heart ache he had caused.

But as she walked into the bakery and Kermit looked up to meet her gaze she felt her heart begin to break open again, the tape and glue she had used to put it back together starting to peel away and reveal the cracks.

She came to a stop in front of Kermit's table, placing her hands on the back of the empty chair in front of her, gripping it so hard for support that her knuckles were white. Kermit looked up at her and it was clear to Maya that he wasn't sure what to say.

Maya surprised herself by speaking first.

" What do you want?" she asked, and though she voice was quiet it was strong, it didn't shake.

"Would you sit?" Kermit asked in a meek voice.

" What do you want?" Maya said again, her voice slightly louder that time.

" Maya could you just please" His voice began to crack.

" Could you please sit." Maya looked up from the table where she had been staring to meet his gaze. His eyes were blue and clear and Maya thought she could see a deep pain behind them. Despite herself she found herself feeling almost sorry for him. Almost.

She pulled out the chair and took a seat across from him, she looked down at her hands folded in her lap, unable to continue to meet her fathers gaze.

"I told you not to come back." Maya started, biting the inside of her cheek.

"I know."

"So why are you here? The only thing i've ever asked from you is to stay away but here you are. So why?" Maya looked up into his face again but he was staring down at the table clearly trying to find the right thing to say.

" I thought about calling, or writing, but this is something that i needed to tell you in person." Kermit began to explain.

Maya looked into her father's face and he met her gaze again.

"So tell me." Maya said, stoney faced, bracing for whatever could be so bad, hoping that her heart could take it.

…..

By the second day Josh had started to get worried. He and Maya may not be able to see each other as often as they would like but they still kept in fairly constant contact. They would text and snapchat throughout the day and would generally talk on the phone towards the end of the night.

Josh hadn't heard anything from Maya since the morning before. He'd tried to think nothing of it at first, Maya was busy and her not returning his texts wasn't the end of the world but when he woke up the next morning to radio silence once again a pit started to form in his stomach.

He didn't want to come off as crazy or overbearing but he knew in his gut that something was up. Despite himself, he texted Riley to see if she knew anything but Riley said she hadn't heard from Maya since the previous day either.

It wasn't until the the mid evening that Josh finally tracked Maya down to her and Shawn's apartment. He was surprised when he figured out that she was there as he knew that Shawn was on assignment that week and that their dog Hudson had gone with him.

Josh had tried to call Maya one final time before he showed up at her apartment but the call had gone to voicemail once again.

He reached her apartment door and took a deep breath before he knocked, unsure about his actions and about what might be waiting on the other side.

It took a few minutes for Maya to come to the door, but Josh could hear her stirring around before that.

When she did open the door Josh could tell that something truly was wrong. Her eyes were sunken and hollow but it didn't look as though she had been crying, more like she was empty.

"Hey." she said quietly, her voice barely above a whisper.

"Hey." He answered, watching her carefully. She watched him for a moment before moving aside so he could enter the apartment.

"What are you doing here?" she asked as she crossed the apartment away from him and stared out the window.

"I was worried. I dropped by your dorm and your RA said you bolted out of breakfast yesterday, and that you seemed upset." Josh said carefully.

" You could say that." Maya said blankly, still not turning to face him. Before Josh could say anything Maya spoke again.

"My father showed up yesterday. Out of the blue, turned up at the cafe, wanting to talk to me and then he annihilated my whole life." Maya turned to look at him.

"You see he's sick. He has Huntington's disease, which means he's going to die a long, slow death and probably lose himself entirely along the way, and he came all the way up here to tell me this because there's a pretty good chance that I have it too."

"Maya-" Josh started, moving forward but she took a step back away from him.

"Don't do that." she implorded as she backed herself up against the wall.

"Don't try and make me feel better."

"Maya" He tried again his voice soft and low.

"No!' Maya shouted, pushing away from the wall and towards him, the emptiness in her eye's turning to rage in that instant.

"You think that you're some fixer. You always try and fix it you always try and fix me, but you can't so just stop trying." she spat.

"Maya" he tried one final time.

"Just get out." She demanded, shoving against his chest and trying to push him backwards in the direction of the door.

"Get out. I don't want you here. Just get _out_ " she screamed at him, pushing him back even further and into the hallway. She slammed the door behind him and felt all the energy leave her body.

She slide down the door to the cold floor where she waited to feel as if she could breathe again.

 **YIKES! Drama! Angst! I'm clearly not a doctor so my understanding of HD is really only from books and the internet. I apologize if i get/got anything wrong or if I offend anyone. I really hope you enjoyed and stick around for what's to come!**


	72. Chapter 72

SS 72

Maya had gotten the news from her father on a thursday and had skipped the rest of her classes that day and friday, choosing to camp out in her empty apartment rather than brave having to go back to school and face anyone. Before Josh had turned up the night before Maya hadn't spoken since she had left Kermit at the table at the cafe.

She had felt as if she was walking through a haze as she made her way upstairs, let herself into her apartment and falling into her old bed, pulling the covers over her head and trying to block out the world. She had switched off her phone and curled herself under her blankets trying to make sense of all the information she had just received.

She thought about calling Shawn, but she didn't have any words to explain everything that was going through her mind. She felt as if her whole world had been turned upside down and she didn't have the means to right herself.

Josh coming to her door had been the first time she had spoken since the previous day with Kermit and although she knew in her heart that his intentions were good in that moment there was no one she would rather see less. The pity in his eyes had made her stomach turn, and all she could focus on was the idea that people might be giving her that look for the rest of her life. She had lived through it when her mother died but she wasn't prepared to do it again, not when she finally felt that people were finally seeing her as more than just a fragile baby bird whose wings were too small to hold any weight. Not when she finally felt that Josh was seeing her as something more than a sad little girl that he was obligated to help.

Maya had always been kind of self conscious about how much she had leaned on Josh over the past few years. She'd broken down to him about her mom,confided in him about how afraid she had been not to get into Hudson, she depended on him to help her deal with the mess that was was constantly saving her from herself. She felt like all she did was take from him.

So when he came over she lashed out and pushed him away. For a minute, yelling made her feel better. Letting out the fear and anxiety she had pent up in the form of anger had been a release,but as soon as she closed the door behind him she felt her heart shatter again. She didn't want to admit that she needed him. She didn't want to admit that she wasn't strong enough to deal with it all on her own.

A thousand thoughts were running through Maya's head. She was angry, and scared, guilty and ashamed. Her father was sick, and despite all the anger and hatred she had felt towards him over the past decade the idea of him dying still made her heart ache. It had been a long time since she thought about him, she had always done her best to push him to the back of her mind. She didn't need him in her life. She had a dad. She had Shawn. But that didn't change the fact that Kermit was her father. She may not need him in her life, she didn't want him in her life, but she didn't want him to suffer.

She thought of her father's new family, the one he had created without her. Of his wife and three children. They too had just had had their whole worlds changed.

And while she tried not too, she thought of herself. Of what this diagnosis meant for her own health. She thought of gene mapping and test results, of treatment therapy, passed on traits and shortened life expectancy.

Shawn was set to be home saturday afternoon and Maya was sure to leave the apartment before he arrived. She knew that Shawn would be able to read that something was wrong all over her face. She had emailed him the day before so he wouldn't be worried when she didn't answer her phone. She knew this would hurt him too. She wasn't ready to do that to him. She wasn't ready to cause more pain.

She headed back to her dorm, keeping her head down in the hallway in hopes that no one she knew would recognize her hurrying by. She was in luck, she knew that Sasha was spending the weekend with one of her friends from high school so she'd have the dorm room to herself at least until monday. She hoped by then she'd have something to tell her roommate to explain why she'd acted so strangely over the past few days.

Once Maya had reached her dorm room she crawled right back into her bed, not knowing what else to do. She wasn't sure how long she laid there just staring up at the ceiling when a massive crack of thunder sounded overhead. It had started to rain shortly after Maya arrived back on campus but she hadn't noticed any storm clouds rolling in on her way. The thin paned windows of her room shook with the vibration and despite herself Maya felt a flare of fear rush through her.

She hated herself for the fact that despite all the real and serious issues she was dealing with in her life her fear of storms could still shake her.

The panic Maya felt about her father and her own life and the panic she felt about the storm that only seemed to be growing in power mixed together to overwhelm her. She felt paralyzed in fear, and un answerable questions, and the overwhelming feeling of loneliness.

There was a sharp knock at the door which made Maya jump almost as much as the clap of thunder that followed it.

Her first thought was that it must be Sasha, but she quickly cast that thought aside. Sasha wouldn't need to knock, she had keys. She thought maybe it was one of her RA's, doing rounds and wanting to check on her. She had already resolved to ignore it when the pounding on the door started up again.

Maya pulled herself together enough to crawl out of bed and stumble in the direction of the door, she paused when she reached the door, bracing herself against the wall and trying to pull herself together slightly. She tried to slow her heart rate but her breathing was so ragged that nothing she did helped.

She flung open the door, full prepared to tell whichever nosey floor mate was on the other side to go the hell away but for the second time in the past few days she opened the door to find Josh standing there, only this time he was drenched from head to toe, dripping water in puddles onto the carpet of the dorm hallway.

Josh opened his mouth to speak, to apologize for showing up again when she told him not to, to apologize for not being able to give her space when she asked for it, to explain that he was going to give her time but that when the storm started he knew everything would get worse and be harder, to explain that he wasn't there to fix anything, that he didn't know how to fix it but that he wanted to be there for her, just if it meant doing nothing more than sitting beside her, to say that he would go away if that's what he wanted. To say that he just needed her to know he was there.

But before Josh could say any of that Maya had thrown her arms around his neck. She kissed him without thinking, pressing herself against him, not caring that he was soaking wet. The water from his clothes soaked onto her, sending a shutter of cold up her spine. The water from his hair dripped onto her face but she didn't care as it mingled with the tears that were pouring down her cheeks.

Maya was throwing away her pride in that moment. Yes she leaned on him. She required a little extra help, but she also had a little extra hurt to handle in her life. All she knew was that Josh had walked there in the pouring rain just to see her, and that she felt just a little bit better with his arms wrapped around her.


	73. Chapter 73

SS 73

Maya's reaction to him showing up wasn't exactly what Josh had expected. He had been ready for her to yell and scream, to shove him away, to tell him to leave her alone. He hadn't expected her to throw herself forward at him and kiss him in a way she never had before. She clung to him, wrapping her arms around his neck, pushing herself all the way up on her tiptoes to reach him.

Josh was frozen for a half a second before he wrapped his arms around her in return. The water from is clothes soaked onto her while his arms laced themselves around her middle. Maya was already pressing herself as closely into him as she could.

He started to say her name against her lips but she shushed him, just happy in that moment to be held. It wasn't until another clap of thunder sounded overhead that Maya pulled away. She landed back on her feet from her toes, and felt her knees go slightly slack. Josh's arms around her kept her held up.

She rested her face against Josh's chest and let the tears flow freely from her eyes, truly sobbing in front of someone for the first time since her mother's death. She finally let every emotion that she had pent up over the past few days flow out of her. She was a lot to handle but Josh was still holding on tight.

The worst of the storm had finally passed by the time that Maya had finally settled down. Josh's wet clothes were hung by the small heater by the window to dry. Maya had an old pair of his sweatpants and one of his t shirts stashed away in one of her drawers and Josh had changed into that.

They hadn't talked much at first. Mostly Josh just held her. It had been over an hour before Maya was actual ready to speak, and even then she didn't know what to say. They were laying on Maya's dorm bed, Josh's arm wrapped around her shoulder and Maya's head rested against him.

" I don't know what to do." She stated her voice only slightly above a whisper. Josh looked down at her, watching her facial expressions carefully.

" I really don't know what to do next. What I'm supposed to do." She continued, toying with a loose thread on the hem of Josh's t shirt.

"About any of it. About anything." Maya took a deep breath.

" I don't know what to do about him."

"Your dad?" Josh asked. Maya nodded.

" I had it all set out in my head that I never wanted to see him again, so you'd think his being sick wouldn't matter. But before, deciding to never see him again meant that when i needed to i could imagine him anywhere. I could answer all my questions myself. I could think of him however i wanted. But now I know what his life is going to be, how he's going to die. That it'll be soon." Maya tapped her fingers along Josh's stomach.

"I've been reading about HD all day. It's not disease that kills you it's side effects. Most people get 15 or 20 years after their diagnosis but Kermit already has a bad heart. I guess years of Heroin abuse will do that to you." Maya almost laughed in spite of herself.

"He told me to call if I had questions, or if I just wanted to talk or anything. I don't want to see him. I don't want to talk to him, but I feel like I should. I've tried to make my peace with him, and I did that by deciding to cut out any possibility of having him in my life completely. But I guess it was kind of comforting to know that if one day, I ever wanted to look for him be would be there. The look on his face when he came to see me. When he asked me to call him. He looked so helpless. Now I just feel so guilty." Maya explained, her voice shaking at her last word.

"Maya you don't owe him anything." Josh said softly, smoothing down her hair.

"I know that but it feels like I do." Maya expressed and then faltered.

"But I also hate him more than ever." She whispered as if she was ashamed.

"The irony of it is that before this the only thing he'd ever given to me was life and now he's handed me a death sentence."

Josh felt a pit form in his stomach at Maya's words.

"Maya"

"It's hereditary." Maya continued

" Kermits dad was never around either but he figures that he must have had it too. There's a fifty percent chance of passing on the gene, so it's fifty/ fifty on if I have it or not." Maya felt her throat constrict, the fear roaring up in her again, causing her blood to go cold.

"I'm not sure if I should find out or not." Maya confessed. Josh's hand that had been stroking Maya's hair paused for a second.

" I've been reading articles about it all day. Some people say it's better not to find out. That it's easier to live a normal life that way. But I don't know how normal life can be if i'm spending every day like this. Wondering and scared. But if I do the test and I find out I have it, what then? At least if I don't do the test i'll get to hold on to the sliver of hope that it will all be okay." Maya took a breath.

"But the life i've thought about. The life i've imagined I could have... it would all be gone. Growing up, having a career, having a family...it would all just go away."

Maya had been having flashes of it all day. The life she could be losing. The plans she could have made and the things that she could accomplish. She thought about something that she'd never even considered in her life. She thought about kids. About being a mother. If she found out her test results were positive, it would never happen for her. She would never be able to risk exposing a child to the disease.

She thought about Josh as a father, holding a curly haired little boy with her blue eyes. She thought about having to push him away. About how he couldn't impose the pain of having to deal with her on him. She thought about being alone, and waiting for her hands to start to shake, and her limbs begin to twitch. She thought about the beginning of the end.

"I know I could walk outside and get hit by taxi tomorrow, but if i have this it means that I have a real expiration date. I could get hit by a taxi tomorrow or I could live another hundred years but if I have the gene I don't get that last option. I have a fixed mark that I can't move past and it's sooner rather than later. Most people with HD don't don't experience symptoms until their late 30's or 40's but it can happen sooner. 20's even." Maya let out a breath.

"And then what does my life look like? At the very end? When I can't take care of myself? When I become this disease?".

"You talked about getting the test and finding out you have it, but Maya" Josh started carefully,

" You could get the test and find out that you don't."

Maya raised her head to look up at Josh.

"You're just like Riley. You always see the good in things. You always find the hope." She said softly, raising her hand to run her thumb softly over his cheek.

"Whatever you want to do" Josh began, watching her as she looked back at him.

"I'm always going to be right here. No matter what happens." he promised.

Maya blinked back tears. Trying not to think of whether that could be true or not. She leaned up to press a kiss to Josh's lips before settling back down to rest against josh's chest.

Josh kissed the top of her head, and muttered into her hair.

"You should probably get some sleep." He encouraged. The thunder had long since passed, and the rain and slowed into a soft fall outside the window.

"I haven't slept. I haven't been able to since I found out." Maya admitted.

"Just try." Josh said as he rubbed his hand up and down her back.

"Nothing will have changed when you wake up."

Maya nestled into Josh's chest once again while he pulled the covers up around them. Maya closed her eyes and tried to focus on nothing more than the sound of Josh's heart beating beneath her ear.

….

Neither Josh nor Maya woke up to the sound of the dorm door opening the next morning.

It wasn't until Sasha spoke that either of them began to stir.

"Well now I know the boyfriend is real." She joked, placing her bag down on her bed and then plopping down on the top of her comforter herself.

" and his socks are drying on my bedpost. How charming." she continued, smirking at the two of them curled up on Maya's tiny twin sized bed together.

"At least I hope this is your boyfriend otherwise you keep way more secrets from me than I thought." Sasha continued to tease as she pulled off her boots.

"Sasha this is Josh." Maya mumbled, sitting up and rubbing her eyes.

" Josh this is Sasha who isn't supposed to be here." Maya stated, throwing a pointed look over at her friend. Sasha rolled her eyes at her.

" You didn't put a scrunchie on the door. I had a right to enter." Sasha teased once again.

"I should probably go." Josh stated, sitting up and swinging his legs off the bed.

"I've got a paper to finish." He explained. He gathered his things and leaned down to give Maya a quick kiss.

"I'll call you later." He promised. She flashed him a small smile and nodded.

"Nice to meet you." Josh said with a wave to Sasha before exiting the small room.

Sasha watched him go, before turning to look at Maya, her mouth slightly agape.

" Don't take this the wrong way or anything but your boyfriend is hot." Sasha stated. Maya smirked at her in spite of herself.

" I don't call him Boing for nothing."


	74. Chapter 74

SS 74

Telling Shawn was the hardest part. She wished that there was someone who could do this for her, someone who could take the right words she couldn't find and explain what was happening, what might happen, what could happen. What this meant for Maya's life. What it meant for Shawn's life. If Maya really did have HD it would change the trajectory of both of their lives. Once the disease progressed Maya would require long term care and if she was one of the percentage of people that presented with symptoms in their twenties it would only be a few years before she needed in home care. Shawn traveled so much for his job and Maya knew how much his work meant to him. This could change all that.

It was the fear in his eyes that hurt Maya the most. Shawn was calm when Maya told him, holding himself together and asking all the right questions, saying all the right things, but Maya could see it in his eyes. It was the same look he'd always had in the weeks leading up to Katy's death. That constant ache behind a calm smile. The fear of a speeding train headed in his direction fast, the feeling of being glued down to the tracks, unable to set out of the way of danger. Bracing for the impact.

Maya hated what this disease could mean for not just her but for Shawn too. He already knew loss in his life just like she did. He knew the pain of being walked out on by a parent, he knew a pain of watching a parent die in front of him. He knew the pain of losing the one he loved. Maya wished she didn't have to give him this kind of pain as well. She didn't want him to know the pain of losing a child. She knew what it felt like to be helpless. To have to stand back and watch the person who meant the most to you fade away in front of you with no way to stop it. There was no one else that Maya would rather inflict this on less than Shawn.

He listened and waited while she tried to find the right words. They talked through the options and what she thought might be the best thing to do next. About what getting the test might mean. About what not getting it meant.

I took a few more days before Maya decided that she wanted to go through with the test. If she was going to know she wanted to know for sure. If she needed to be afraid she needed to know what of. She'd discussed it with her counselor who had helped her look at all the options objectively the way her family and friends couldn't.

Shawn had done some research and gotten her an appointment at a gene specialist uptown. Maya had never exactly been a huge fan of doctors but this appointment made her more nervous than any other she had had before.

Riley had wanted to drive up for the appointment but Maya had told her not to.

"It's not worth it. They're just going to draw my blood and send me on my way. We still won't know anything more for a few weeks." Maya promised, trying to comfort Riley over the phone. Riley made her promise to call her after the appointment to tell her how everything went and Maya said that she would. She didn't want Riley to worry about her until there was a reason for it. She hadn't been very specific with the details to anyone besides Josh and Shawn. It was too hard to get into the specific details of exactly what was happening and exactly what was going on that for the most part she left it vague and let people figure it out for themselves.

She didn't want to tell anyone else how scared she was. She didn't want to talk anymore about the way this made her feel or about what might happen. If she had it her way no one else would know anything about this until they really knew what was going on, but Topanga had been in the cafe that day and she wasn't exactly great at keeping a secret.

The sunday before her appointment at the gene specialist clinic Maya was hiding out in her room at Shawn's apartment. She was supposed to be downstairs at the Matthews for dinner but she had bailed at the last second. She had fed Shawn a line about being tired and having to be up early for her appointment tomorrow but she knew he didn't believe it. Maya wasn't ready to go downstairs and face a room of questions and worried faces masked with false smiles. It had been enough when she had come into the building earlier that afternoon and run into Topanga who had hugged her just a little too long before pulling back and trying unsuccessfully to brush a tear away before Maya could see.

Shawn had told her to get some rest and offered to stay back with her but Maya had sent him on his way. Maya knew it would be good for him to go hang out with Cory without her there. That it would be easier for him to confide in his best friend without her sitting a few feet away picking at a cheese plate. Also Auggie had invited Ava over and Maya didn't like to be around the two of them together without Riley as back up. Even Josh wasn't making an appearance, citing an upcoming mid term and a need to study as an excuse to bail.

Her appointment was at 8:30 the next morning but she'd have to be up earlier than usual in order to make it to the part of town so Maya climbed into bed early in the hopes that she would fall asleep quickly. She should have known it wouldn't work. Her brain was more alive than ever as she lay in her bed staring up at the ceiling. Hudson was curled up in a ball, nuzzled around her ankles, snoring softly. For not the first time Maya envied the little dog and his ability to fall fast asleep at a moments notice.

The sound of soft rapping came from Maya's window and despite the gentle manner of the sound it still made her jump. She twisted around in bed to see Josh doing his best to push up the window with one hand while the other balanced a piece of pie.

"What are you doing here?" Maya asked, sitting up in bed and watching Josh carefully climb through the window without spilling any of the pie on the floor.

" Don't you have a test to study for?" Maya inquired.

" Stopped by for dessert. You know I can't resist Topanga's apple pie. I brought you a slice." Josh explained, sitting down on the side of her bed and passing her the plate he had been carrying.

"You're too good to me." Maya said through a mouthful of pie.

"So tomorrow is your-"

"Yep" Maya answered before Josh could finish his sentence.

"And you're feeling" he trailed off, watching her closely as she continued to stare down at the pie on her plate. Maya was quiet for a while, the sound of her fork tapping on her plate the only sound in the room.

" I don't know. Nervous. Anxious. Filled with dread." Maya answered simply.

"So pretty good then."

"Yeah that's about right." Maya answered, looking up from her plate with a forced smile.

Josh reached out and placed his hand on Maya's leg over the covers.

"Hey, you know that no matter what happens tomorrow, i'm not going anywhere. Hell or high water."

" Or Huntington's?" Maya joked, looking down at the plate in her lap.

"I'm serious." Josh continued. Maya looked up into Josh's eyes. He looked back at her so tenderly and with such genuine concern and emotion that her it made her already sore heart ache a little more.

"I know you are." Maya said softly, leaning forward and pulling Josh's face towards her own. She kissed him softly but pulled back after only a second.

"Get some sleep Angel." Josh encouraged, pressing a kiss to her forehead before getting up and heading back towards the window.

Maya smiled sadly before laying back down on her bed and pulling her covers over her head, unsure of what kind of future tomorrow would bring her.

 **Hi everyone! Sorry I took a break in uploading there! I've honestly had most of this chapter written for quite a while and I just couldn't throw an end on it. But here we are. Hope you're enjoying and thank you for reading!**


	75. Chapter 75

Maya's appointment with the specialist had been relatively quick. She was one of the first appointments of the day and was barely in the waiting room before she was being swept off into the sleek doctors office.

Shawn had taken the morning off work to go to Maya's appointment with her. Maya had told him not to bother, it was just going to be a quick blood test, but in the end she was grateful that he was there. The office seemed so imposing with the framed certificates hanging on the wall and the glossy charts. It all made Maya feel out of place. She wanted to run away as far away from there as she could get. She wanted it to be three months ago. She wanted to sit in the cafe with Riley, drinking obnoxiously sized coffees , daydreaming about what their futures would be like. When Maya had thought about it then it had been all possibilities, College classes and new opportunities. Now sitting in that doctors office the only thing Maya could see before her was this test result. She couldn't see past it. The only thing she could see on her horizon was this test.

She couldn't imagine a future beyond it when she didn't know what that future would hold.

The doctor walked Maya through the process of the gene testing and what signs and indicators they would be looking. Nothing the doctor said really sunk in as maya sat there blankly. All she had heard was that it would take up to three weeks to get her results back. Three more weeks of wondering how long she had left. Three more weeks of wondering if she would live to see her fortieth birthday. Three more weeks of wondering if she'd ever have the chance to grow up or grow old. If she'd ever get to get married or have children. If she would have a career, or get the chance to travel. Three weeks to wonder. Three weeks to decide the rest of her life.

She barely felt the prick of the needle as the nurse inserted it into the vein on her right arm. She watched as the tiny vile of blood was carried out of the room. It was hard to think that just a few ounces held the power to determine the course of the rest of her life.

Maya and Shawn didn't really speak as they rode together in a cab back towards the dorm. Neither one of them really knew what to say next. What to do next. It was as if their lives were being put on pause until they knew for sure what the test said.

Maya felt as if she was frozen in time. There was nothing she could do now but wait for her fate to be handed to her. She could hope and she could pray but beyond that there was nothing more to do.

In a stroke of inconvenient timing Maya had midterms for the next few weeks. In a way it was a good thing, it gave her something more to think about than her blood being analyzed and someone pouring over the pairs in her genes, knowing that if they counted a certain number her fate would be sealed.

But it was also hard to find any importance in her midterms when something so much bigger was weighing on her shoulders.

Maya grew distant and withdrawn from the people around her over the course of the next few weeks. Shawn seemed to understand, not wanting to pry in too deep. Sasha, who was slightly overwhelmed with midterms herself, seemed to think that she was just stressed about exams and didn't press her for much more than casual conversation for a few minutes when they woke up in the morning or right before they went to bed.

Josh was a different story. Just like the rest of the people in her life Josh wasn't sure what to say to Maya. Still he'd invite her over on fridays and they would sit together, mostly in silence, pretending to watch whatever show they put on the tv in front of them. It was enough to just have Josh hold her hand. Maya didn't need him to say anything. She just needed to know that he was there.

Riley was stressed out about her first midterms at Penn but was still calling Maya almost every night. Most of the time Maya screened her calls. She loved her best friend more than almost anything but she couldn't handle talking to her now. She couldn't take the worry in her voice. She couldn't take the strained optimism. Maya would text her about being busy and reassure her that she would let her know the second that she had any new information about her test.

Although the three weeks seemed to drag on forever when Maya got the call from the doctors office about her results she could barely bring herself to answer it. She knew that they wouldn't deliver the results over the phone, the doctor had warned her about that. Stating that the call would just be book the follow up appointment.

Still when the phone rang Maya couldn't help but see it as the beginning of the end. It was either the time to put the end to her worrying or the beginning of the end or her life. At least the end of her life the way she knew it.

Maya had her last exam on friday morning and her doctor's appointment that afternoon. She met Shawn outside the building that housed the gene specialist and they walked in together. Maya could feel the tension mounting between them as they walked through the lobby and towards the elevator. With every step Maya felt as though her feet grew heavier and heavier.

Maya and Shawn took the same seats that they had occupied a few weeks earlier but to Maya it felt as though it had been a million years. But the few minutes it took for the doctor to make her way into the office seemed to take far longer than the time between appointments. Every second that she had to wait caused her heart to beat a little faster until she felt as if it was going to pound out of her chest.

Maya couldn't read the expression on the doctors face as she entered the room and took her seat behind her desk. Maya's eyes focused in on the piece of thick white paper that Doctor Clementine had in her hands. The words on that piece of paper had the power to decide the rest of her life.

"Alright Ms Hunter." the doctor began, pulling her glasses down from her hair and onto her face and unfolding the paper.

" As I mentioned in our first meeting what we were looking for was CAG repeats on the selected gene. The average person will show 28 or fewer repeats, an affected subject will appear with 40 and upwards." The doctor paused, looking up at Maya directly for the first time. Maya felt Shawns hand constrict in her own as they both braced for the impact of what the doctor would say next.

"Maya, your repeats were well within normal range." Maya felt her heat stop and her jaw go slack. Shawns hand went limp in her own.

"That means" Maya began.

"That your test results are negative. You did not inherit the gene for Huntington's disease."

All the air seemed to rush out of Maya's lungs at once. Her heart had started beating again. The wave of relief that washed over her was so strong that she wasn't sure she would be able to stand.

The doctor was still speaking but Maya wasn't taking in a word that she was saying. The word negative was still ringing in her ears.

She hadn't realized until that moment that she had been expected it to be positive. She'd been expecting to be handed a sentence not a 'd fixated so hard on the fear of having the gene that she hadn't been able to cling to the hope of not having it. In her gut she had expected the worst and she wondered what it said about her. Had everything that had happened in her life really beaten her down that hard?

Dr. Clementine excused herself from the office, telling them to feel free to take their time and to call if they had any further questions.

Maya and Shawn sat there in silence for a moment more before a sound came from Shawn that Maya could only equate with an animal that had been wounded. Maya looked over and saw that Shawn had dropped his head into his hands and he was beginning to truly sob. It was something Maya had never seen before.

There had only been one time when she had come close. It had been a few days after the one year anniversary of Katy's death. It had been the middle of the night and Maya had stumbled out of her room headed to the kitchen looking for a class of water. She'd passed by Shawns room and through the doors heard the muffled sounds of Shawns sobbing. She'd almost knocked on the door. Almost gone in to wrap her arm around him and offered her support but she hadn't been able to do it. Shawn had always worked hard to hide his pain from Maya, not wanting to burden her with his pain on top of her own. He was her fixed point in a storm.

So sitting in that doctors office seeing Shawn fall to pieces beside her let her know just how scared he must have been.

"Dad" Maya began softly, reaching out to place her hand on his arm. Shawn raised his head from his hands to look at her and then took hold of her arm and pulled her to her feet.

Shawn wrapped her in a hug and held her tighter than Maya could ever remember. He held her as if he had thought they had already had their last but was given another chance.

"It's okay. It's okay" He muttered over and over again into her ear, and Maya realized that he wasn't really saying it to her. He was saying it to himself.

….

Shawn had walked Maya the few blocks from the doctor's office to the nearest subway station. Maya couldn't believe how much lighter she felt.

Shawn suggested going out to dinner the following night but quickly backtracked.

"What am I thinking? It's the weekend. You're young." His voice caught on the last word like he was letting himself consider the idea of her getting older, or getting to grow up and become a person.

"How about Monday?" he offered. Maya nodded.

"Monday sounds good, but right now you need to get to work." Maya reminded. Shawn glanced down at his wrist.

"You're right." Shawn leaned in and pulled her into one last hug.

" Love you dad." Maya muttered into his chest.

"Love you too." he replied.

Maya watched him walk away before turning the other direction and pulling out her phone. She dialed Rileys number and brought the phone up to her ear.

The call went straight to voicemail and Maya figured that Riley's phone must be off if she was in class.

"Hey pumpkin it's me. I just got out of my appointment and it looks like i'm in the clear. My CD something or whatever doesn't repeat enough times or something I don't know long story short I'm fine. HD free. So I guess you're going to be stuck with me Alright. Call me ."

Maya took her headphones out of her pocket and plugged them into her phone. It was the first time she'd been able to listen to music in weeks. The first time she'd been able to relax enough to hear the words and feel the music.

She hurried down the subway and found the next train leaving in the direction of Columbia. She sat on the rocking train not caring about the crowded car or the odd smell coming from the man beside her.

She made her way onto the campus at Columbia just in time for Josh's seminar to let out. She hoped that she'd be able to find him in the crowds of students milling outside of the university hall and making their way across the green space towards their next class or in search of a place to sit.

Maya knew that she could have just called Josh instead of going so far out of the way to see her in person but it didn't seem like the kind of thing she wanted to tell him over the phone. She wouldn't have wanted to tell Riley that way if she hasn't had to. She'd almost been grateful that she'd gotten Riley's voice mail as it had been easier to remain casual about it that way.

Maya spotted Josh cross the square and started to make her way towards him. She thought about calling out to him but she couldn't find her voice. It didn't matter, he had spotted her. Maya came to stop when her her and Josh's eyes connected.

Maya could see the fear that flashed across Josh's face when he caught sight of her. She could sense the tension in his body as he braced himself for whatever it was that she had come here to tell him.

Maya's face was blank as she and Josh stood still as the world rushed on around them. And then she smiled and saw a wave of relief wash over Josh's face. Despite herself Maya couldn't help but let out a laugh.

"You're okay?" Josh asked warily, as he took a few steps before her.

"I'm fine." Maya promised. Josh's face broke out into a smile as he moved forward and pulled Maya into his arms in a hug.

Maya let out a little gasp which turned again to a laugh as Josh lifted her off the ground.

He kissed her and in that moment Maya didn't care that they were standing in public in the middle of a college campus. She didn't care about anything except how good it felt to have Josh's arms wrapped around her and how suddenly excited she felt about the rest of her life.

 **Oh my god I don't know why it was so damn hard to write the last 3rd of this chapter. I've been trying to do it for DAYS. ugh is this too cheesy? I don't know. I hope you liked it!**


	76. Chapter 76

SS 76

"Do we really need to do this?" Maya complained for what felt like the millionth time.

"Yes we do." Sasha retored, pushing through the racks of clothes in search of something specific.

" We've been at this for hours. It's just halloween. Can't you paint some whiskers on your face and call it a day?" Maya prompted, absentmindedly pushing through the dozens of musky dresses and out of date skirts. They'd been in a thrift store near campus for almost an hour and Maya was getting restless.

Sasha rolled her eyes at her roommate.

"You don't get it. Halloween where I'm from is just such a non event. Kids trick or treat until the 9th grade and after that it's all watching bad scary movies in your friends basements or going to halloween dances so lame that it makes the basement look appealing. This is my first year in the city and we're invited to all these parties and I don't want to wear the same minnie mouse costume i've had since I was 15."

"The fact that you still fit in your costume from when you were 15 hurts me." Maya joked before continuing on.

"But if you want a costume shouldn't we I don't know go to a costume store?"

Sasha let out a huff.

" No, because I don't want to spend 75 dollars to wear the exact same thing as every other girl."

"You are putting way too much thought into this." Maya commented.

" Maybe you're not putting enough thought into this. I mean do you even have a costume?"

"No but I thought i'd be something really scary, like a sullen teenage girl with an attitude problem."

" Honey it's halloween the whole point is to be something you're not already." Sasha teased

"Oh shut up." Maya shot back at her.

"I honestly don't know what i'm going to do for halloween. I mean Riley and I always used to go as the same thing but I don't think it'll have quite the same effect if i'm here and she's in Pennsylvania."

"Why don't you and your hot boyfriend do a couples costume." Sasha suggested.

"He has a name." Maya pointed out.

" I know I know i'm just bad with names. I am however good with faces and he, he has a good face."

"Oh trust me I know." Maya smirked across the rack at her friend.

"And I don't hate him, or myself, enough to make us do a couples costume. Plus we're not going to be with each other the whole night so It wouldn't make that much sense to go wandering around as a light socket without a plug."

"Hottie has halloween plans that don't involve you?"

"His name is Josh. It isn't hard name to remember." Sasha just laughed.

" he's starting out at a party with some friends from his program while I hang out with your sorry ass at whatever god forsaken gathering you've selected for us and then we're going to meet up and go to his friends party uptown. "

"Wow what's it like to be so popular." Sasha teased.

"Hmm yeah guess you'll never know." Sasha swatted her across the aisle.

"What's farm boy doing for halloween? Building a corn maze or castrating a cow?" Sasha rolled her eyes.

" Honestly I wouldn't put it past him, but I'm not actually sure. It's been a little while since we've talked." Maya paused.

"Trouble in river city?" Sasha let out a sigh.

" I don't even know anymore. What I do know is that we need to find costumes and quick."

….

In the end Maya mostly built her costume from clothing she already owned. It had all been built around a pair of rose tinted thin round sunglasses that she'd found on a rack by the cash register at one of the thrift shops they had looked through. She cut the sleeves of an old tied shirt that she usually slept in and pulled out an old brown suede fringed vest she used to wear in the 10th grade. It was a poor excuse for a hippie costume but Maya wasn't too upset about it.

Sasha had also gone with a decades theme after finding a pair of white gogo boots in a half off bin. They were a size too big but Sash had been determined to make them work, putting on two pairs of socks to bulk up her feet.

They were going put on in one of the campus bars that was putting on an all ages halloween event. They were too young to get into any real bar but this was close enough. The Grey was strict about not serving minors directly but they turned a blind eye to older students buying for younger classmates.

The Grey was a madhouse by the time that Maya, Sasha, and one of their other floormates Cassidy arrived around 10:00. The room was packed mostly with people that Maya recognized from her dorm hall or from her classes. The bright colours from everyone's costumes clashed harshly against one another. The bass thumped so loudly though the room that Maya could feel it in her chest.

It had been almost an hour and a half when Sasha disappeared into the crowd in search of scoring them another round of drinks. Cass had wandered away from them and Maya had thought she had spotted her hanging around one of the boys from the floor above them.

Maya had broken away from her group and was leaning against the wall, taking a moment to check her phone. She was supposed to be meeting Josh outside in about half an hour which meant he was probably already on his way.

Maya was just shoot off a text when the guy who had pointed out her NYU shirt in the cafeteria approached her. She thought his name might be had seen this guy around a lot the past few weeks. She'd see him in the hallways or when she went down to the dinning hall and quite often he'd make comments or jokes at her and many of the other girls in their building. His comments were lame and his attempts at flirty juvenile but overall Maya thought he was pretty harmless. He gave off a strong frat guy vibe and Maya never did anything to encourage his advances.

"Miaaa" Jared slurred, raising an eyebrow at her in a way she was sure he thought was sexy.

"Actually it's Maya" she corrected, still looking down at her phone.

" I like your costume." He continued, reaching out to toy with the fringe on her vest. Maya swatted his hand away.

"Thanks." She replied shortly, moving to the side to get around him.

"Hey where you going?" He asked, moving to the side in step with her. Maya's patience was growing thin. Jared wasn't the kind of person she wanted to talk to when he was sober, let alone when he was drunk.

"I was thinking that you would stay here and I would go literally anywhere else" Maya snapped back. She wasn't in the mood to be polite. It was crowded, loud, and hot in there and it was messing with her head.

"C'mon. We're just talking here. Just having fun." he slurred. The next series of things happened in such a blur that Maya was barely able to understand what had happened.

Maya's back hit the wall as Jared stepped forward, his drink sloshed all over her shoes as his hips bumped against hers and his hand came down over her chest.

Maya acted without thinking, shoving Jared backward and bringing her fist back and slamming it into his jaw.

The pain was instant, flaring from her knuckles up into her fingers and back down towards her wrist. Maya leaned back against the wall and clutched her hand to her. She looked up and saw Sasha standing there, two drinks in hand with her mouth hanging open.

Jared who had staggered back looked dazed.

" What the fuck?" He began but Sasha pounced on him

"Oh go be skeezey somewhere else perv." She spat at him, shooing him away from them. She turned on Maya looking absolutely stunned but also excited.

"Did that really just happen?" She asked, eager for the answer. Maya was still examining her hand.

"I mean did you really just punch a guy dressed as a budget pirate right in his dumb face?"

"Apparently" Maya muttered.

"This is the most exciting thing to ever happen to me." Sasha gushed.

"Glad you're entertained!" Maya snapped.

"I'm sorry i'm drunk. I'm not trying to be an asshole." Sasha apologized.

"Let me see." she encouraged. Maya gingerly held out her hand for Sasha to examine.

"I know this doesn't give me much authority but my dad's a doctor and i'm pretty sure that that's broken."

Maya's hand was swelling up quick.

"So what now?"

" Now I think I take you to the nearest hospital." Sasha stated, handing Maya on of the drinks she was holding.

"Down that. It'll help with the pain." Sasha encouraged, throwing her head back and finishing her own glass.

…

Josh picked up on the first ring.

"Hey babe."

"Hey" maya began carefully.

" you know how we were going to meet on campus and then go up to Kates?"

"Yes…"

"How would you feel about meeting me at the hospital instead?" she asked.

"What? " Josh's voice sounded alarmed.

"Everything's fine." Maya assured him. Looking down at her crippled hand in her lap which was wrapped in a bag of ice and an old rag she'd got from behind the bar at Greys.

" I just think I broke my hand."

"Yeah on some guys face!" Sasha laughed, leaning over from the other side of the car to speak into the phone.

" What?" Josh asked again, the alarm returning to his voice.

"Where are you?"

"I'm in cab. Sasha is with me. We're on the way to Presbyterian." Maya explained.

"I'll meet you there." He promised. Maya quickly backtracked.

"I really just called to let you know what's going on. You can go to Kate's. It's not going to be any fun sitting in the ER all night."

"I'll meet you there." He promised again. Maya smiled.

"Thank you."

…

"Did no one ever teach you how to throw a punch? You've got to keep your thumb outside your fist." Maya rolled her eyes.

She had called Shawn once they made it to the hospital and she began to fill out the form. He was in South Carolina on assignment but she'd needed his help with some of the health insurance information and she knew he would be angry if she didn't call him right away.

"No dad. No one ever taught me to throw a punch. That would have been your department." Maya answered sarcastically.

"Well we'll work on that when I get back. Try not to slug anyone in the meantime."

"I'll work on it. " Maya promised.

"Go back to sleep. I'll call you tomorrow." Maya promised.

Maya was seated in the waiting room with Josh on one side and Sasha on the other.

"So you just straight up punched a guy?" Josh asked.

" He deserved it." Sasha answered for her.

"He's a first rate asshole." She continued. Sasha's phone was buzzing almost constantly and Maya could tell she was trying hard not to check it.

"Sash you can go if you want. There's no use us all wasting our night in the hospital." Maya encouraged.

"Are you sure?" Sasha asked, trying not to look too eager.

"Go. You brought me here you've done your job."

"Thank you." Sasha said gratefully, getting to her feet, saying goodbye and hurrying out of the ward.

" I'll say it one more time, you can go too. It's not too late to make it to Kates." Maya encouraged. Josh just shot her a look.

"Come on. We've got these nice plastic chairs, cable tv, and that nice man over there with the oozing wound."

Maya leaned her head against Josh's shoulder.

"Whatever you say Boing."

" I haven't heard that one in a while." Johs commented.

"I'm bringing it back."

….

It was almost 4 am by the time Maya made it out of the hospital. Maya had had a round of x rays and found that her hand was broken in two places as well as her thumb. She'd been given a soft cast and an appointment to return to the hospital to see a specialist to see if she'd need surgery.

"I'm exhausted." Maya signed as she and Josh walked down the hospital hallways towards the exit.

" getting in bar brawls does that." Josh joked.

"He started it." Maya defend.

" The dorms are sure to be a mess. I don't know how much sleep you'd get there. Do you want me to bring you back to your dad's place or do you want to stay over at mine?" Maya sighed.

"I just want to go to bed. Yours is as good as any." Josh wrapped his arm around her shoulders.

"Alright then. Let's go home."


	77. Chapter 77

SS 77

Hi all. I'll be doing some time jumping here and there to get things moving. I honestly just want to make it to christmas. Sue me.

" ow" Maya moaned ash she rolled over on her bad arm.

It had been hard nights sleep for Maya. It was well after four in the morning by the time that Josh and Maya made it back to his apartment. Maya had groggily changed into one of Josh's t shirts and a pair of his sweatpants, leaving her costume crumpled up in the corner of the bedroom. She'd crawled into Josh's bed without saying much of anything and pulled the covers up over her shoulders. She'd just wanted to go to sleep. She couldn't believe how her night had turned out.

Josh got into bed beside her and turned off the lamp on his bedside table casting the room into darkness.

Maya had fallen asleep quickly but woken herself every time that she shifted her weight into bad hand. She had the unfortunate habit of sleeping on her hands and the pain was flaring and pulsing as she tossed and turned trying to make herself comfortable.

When Maya woke up in the morning for the last time she hardly felt rested. She could tell that it was still fairly early in the morning and Maya wondered if she'd even managed three hours of sleep.

"Stop putting weight on it" Josh grumbled from the other side of the mattress.

"I'm not doing it on purpose." Maya muttered, twisting so she was laying on her side, cradling her hand to her chest.

"Come here" Josh muttered, reaching out and hooking an arm around Maya's waist and pulling her against his chest. Maya sighed as she shut her eyes again and tried to settle back into bed.

It occurred to her that this was the first morning that her and Josh had spent like this. It wasn't the first time they had woken up together. There had a been a few times in the past but they hadn't been like this. The two times before they had gotten together that Maya had woken up with Josh's arms around her she'd had to brush it off as nothing. They'd gotten up and went on with their days like nothing had happened at all. When they had woken up in her dorm room a few weeks earlier Sasha had been there and Josh had hurried out.

This was different. Now Maya could lay comfortably in Josh's arms and she knew she could stay there for as long as she wanted. She didn't have to pretend to be asleep or hope he didn't wake up. She could reach out and run her fingers across his cheek, she could press herself closer into him. This was what she had been missing.

"What do you want for breakfast?" Josh asked, letting out a yawn. All Maya could think about was the pulsing pain in her hand.

" A morphine drip." she grumbled, still holding her hand tight to her body. Maya had never been a baby about pain before but the aggravation from the night before was getting to her.

" So you want to get that pain killer prescription filled sooner rather than later." Josh joked, pulling away from her in bed, getting to his feet and beginning to search the ground for a shirt.

" You could say that." Maya answered, rolling over in bed to lay flat on her back. She looked up at the ceiling and focused on the revolving ceiling fan to distract herself.

"Are you finally going to tell me what happened last night?" Josh enquired, watching her carefully as he pulled his shirt over his head. Maya had been vague with the details the night before not wanting to get into the details of what had happened.

"I've really already told you everything there is to tell." Maya stated trying to brush the whole thing off.

" Saying you punched a guy is not the whole story." Josh retorted. Maya sat up in bed and shot him a glare.

"This guy from my dorm was there and he just. He got a little handsey so so did I" she finished.

"Don't give me that look." Maya demanded as she caught a glimpse of Josh's face.

"What look?" he defended.

"That look. You look like a puppy that just got kicked." Josh shook his head at her. Maya sat up on her knees and looked pointed at Josh.

" Don't do this. Don't get all weird about it. You don't need to feel bad. I get that you're my boyfriend and you feel like you need to protect me, but it's over. It's done. I handled it. We're fine. Okay?"

Josh watched her for a long moment and Maya could see the cogs spinning in his head.

"Okay."

…

Maya's hand was in a cast for the next four weeks. It was extremely inconvenient and really got in the way of doing her classwork. She'd had to get a note taker for her classes as she couldn't write or type with her right hand.

Maya hated feeling helpless and needing to depend on other people. She didn't like the way other people took notes. So many of her classes were so subjective that she was never sure if people were taking down what she thought was important. She'd go to every class and hope that by just listening she could take in enough that her notes wouldn't really matter. It was wishful thinking really.

While November dragged by in some ways due to Maya's cast, it rushed forward in others. Maya wasn't sure if she had ever been this busy. She had mostly coasted by through high school, doing the bare minimum and getting okay grades based on her raw abilities, but university felt so different. For once in her life Maya didn't want to just skate by but she wanted to succeed and excel. She was the first one in her family to go to college and she didn't want to fail.

So she studied and did her readings and tried to make it to all her classes ( although she had slept through one or two). She had papers to write and exams to study for. Finales period started december 1st and the stress was getting to Maya already.

Josh was up to his ears in school work himself, his grades needed to be nearly perfect to retain a top standing in his program and anything below a 70 was considered a fail. Josh himself had always been a bit of a perfectionist and took great pride in his education, which meant that he had to dedicate most of his time to his school work.

Maya saw Josh a total of five times between Halloween and the thanksgiving break. They still texted and talked on the phone when they had the time but finding the right moment to see each other face to face was difficult. Maya savoured the nights they spent hold up in Josh's apartment just watching tv or sitting quietly and doing their perspective readings.

Maya did find herself less tense and nervous when she was in Josh's presence but it also made it harder for her to focus.

By thanksgiving it had been almost two weeks since Josh and Maya had seen each other, so when Maya woke up that thursday she sprang out of bed and hurried to get dressed. Sasha had flown home to Indiana the night before so Maya was alone in the room as she shoved her things into a weekender bag, ran a brush threw her hair and headed out the door.

This was the first day in a long time that neither Josh nor Maya had anything going on until family dinner that night and Maya wasn't looking to waste any time.

The crisp fall air stung her skin as she made her way across town towards Josh's neighbourhood. The season was getting ready to transition into winter and it was odd for Maya to think that only a few streets away there were giant christmas balloons floating through the sky. Topanga was recording the parade at home so that Riley and Maya could watch it together the way they usually did. Riley was driving up to the city with her grandparents and would be arriving that afternoon.

Maya buzzed herself into Josh's apartment, having long ago learned the electronic code to the heavy metal private entrance that lead directly to the staircase. She took the stairs two at a time and was on the edge of being out of breath by the time that she came to Josh's door.

She knocked twice with her good hand, waiting for Josh to answer the door. It took only a moment for Josh to slide open the lock and swing open the door.

Maya didn't waste any time, moving forward the second the door was open. She laced her hands around the back of Josh's neck, going up on her tiptoes to reach his mouth with her own. Josh returned her kiss immediately, although a touch surprised at Maya's forwardness.

Maya's bag slide from her shoulder and she let it fall to the floor with a thunk. Maya pushed it asie with her foot, not breaking her kiss with Josh.

"Missed me?" Josh joked, not breaking their kiss to speak.

"Oh shut up." Maya retorted, pushing Josh backwards towards the sofa.

When they reached the couch they sat down and before Maya could stop herself she clambered into Josh's slab, straddling him and lacing her fingers into his soft brown curls. She'd been telling him to get a haircut for weeks but in that moment she didn't mind.

She didn't know what had come over her. Maybe it was all the pent up stress from the past month, maybe it was that she hadn't seen Josh it so long, but in that moment all she wanted to do was touch him, and to have him touch her. She wanted to feel his hands on her skin and his lips on her own.

Her fingers grazed down the side of his neck and down under the hem of his collar to trace the line of his shoulders and collarbone.

Josh's hands had inched up the fabric of her shirt and were grazing the skin of her lower back, causing her to shutter.

Maya slide her good had under the bottom of Josh's shirt and let her fingers explore the muscles of his stomach, while her casted hand rested on his shoulder.

Josh leaned and raised his arms allowing Maya to yank his shirt over his head. Without thinking about it Maya shimmied off her own jacket as Josh continued to kiss her. She edged up her own shirt and then pulled back as she pulled her own shirt. The smooth movement came to an end when the fabric from her t shirt caught on the edge of her cast and became lodged around the plaster.

Maya started to laugh against Josh's lips. She let her head fall to his shoulder as she laughed breathily.

"It's stuck." she uttered out between breathes as she lifted her hand into the air and waved her t shirt lodged around her wrist like a flag of surrender.

They both laughed together for a moment and Maya couldn't believe how comfortable she felt. Despite their connect this was really the farthest josh and Maya had ever gone. They'd never moved past making out. Maya wondered if she was killing Josh with the snail speed they had been taking their relationship.

She'd been worried that she'd feel uncomfortable, that it would feel awkward and it would cause a space to form between them, but she should have known better. It was Josh after all. Even with her shirt caught on her arm and her inability to control her laughter she felt completely at ease. She felt safe.

A loud banging started on the door which caused both Josh and Maya to jump slightly.

"Joshua!" came a voice from the other side of the door.

'Is that your mother?" Maya whispered, her heart beating out of her chest.

'Josh!" Came another voice as the knocking on the door started up again.

"And that's my dad." Josh finished an edge of panic to his voice. They both scrambled to get up, neither of them really knowing what to do.

It's not that they were doing anything wrong. They were both adults. But still it wasn't exactly a situation either of them wanted to be caught in.

"Alan where is your key?" they heard Amy ask from the other side of the door.

"Hide." Josh whispered to her. Maya needed no further instruction. She dashed into Josh's room and wedged herself into the tiny closet. Her shirt was so wedged into her cast that she couldn't pull it back onto her body. She held her arms up against her chest to fit into the miniscule space where Josh held his clothes.

Maya could hear him rustling around the living room, no doubtedly looking for his shirt and calling to his parents that he'd be right there.

Maya had had to bite down on her lip to keep herself from laughing. The walls of the apartment were so thin that Maya could hear every word.

'Hey guys!" Josh greeted his parents as he made it to the door.

"Just getting up son?" Alan asked and Maya could almost see Alan brushing her fingers through his hair to pat it down into place.

"We were just on our way to your brothers and thought you might like a ride?" Amy offered.

"I'm sure Topanga would appreciate the extra help in the kitchen".

Josh paused for a beat before agreeing.

"Let's get going then. Rileys downstairs holding the cab." Amy explained, ushering the group out the door.

"I'll meet you down there." said another voice that Maya didn't immediately recognize. Was that Eric?

"Gosta pee." Maya rolled her eyes. Sometimes she couldn't believe that that man was a Senator.

Maya heard the other Matthews making their way out of the apartment but was surprised to hear what must be Erics footsteps headed in her direction.

She couldn't help but let out a little gasp when the closet door was flung open.

Eric was standing there with her weekend bag in hand, giving her a knowing look.

She was only slightly mortified to be found hiding in a closet in her bra by her boyfriends brother who just so happened to be a member of the Senate.

"Ahhh you're becoming more and more like dear Shawny boy every day." Eric smirked.

" and my little brother is much more like me than I originally thought." he dropped her bag on the bedroom floor.

" see you at dinner." he finished, closing the closet door on her again.

"Squirrels out."


	78. Chapter 78

SS 78

Maya waited in Josh's apartment for 10 minutes before she followed the Mathews down stairs and onto the street. She had been surprised that they made it into the city that quickly. When she had last talked to Riley she hadn't thought they'd be making their way into town until mid afternoon, just in time to get settled in before an early dinner.

Maya slung her bag over her shoulder and made her way a few block down towards the subway. The traffic on thanksgiving was heavy and Maya wasn't sure who would get there first, the Matthews or herself. She stopped off at a deli along the way to grab a bagel after realizing she hadn't eaten anything yet that day. She had been so concerned with rushing over to Josh's that she was lucky that she had even brushed her teeth.

Maya reached their building, buzzed herself in and climbed the few flights up stairs up to her and Shawn's apartment. She let herself in and Hudson scurried over to greet her at the door. She stooped down to scratch her dog behind the ears, straightened back up and moved to go put her bag in her room.

Shawn wasn't there so she assumed that he was already downstairs, no doubtedly planted in front of the tv watching football.

Maya hurried to change out of her t shirt, careful this time not to catch it on her cast, and into a sweater more appropriate for the occasion. She swept her hair up in a purposefully messy ponytail and straightened her two necklaces so they lay flat against her chest.

She ran her fingers over the chain and admired them against her skin. She always had at least on the the necklaces on and she often wore them together.

There was the necklace her mother had given her all those birthdays ago and the necklace Josh had given her for graduation. They fit together well and Maya always felt comforted when she had them on.

She glanced in the mirror to make sure that her makeup wasn't too smudged and then headed back out to the living room.

She scooped up Hudson, made sure she had her phone and keys and then headed out of the apartment and one floor down.

She didn't bother to knock before entering the Matthews apartment, in fact if she hadn't been carrying hudson she wouldn't have even bothered to use the front door, always preferring the fire escape.

Maya barely had the door open when she heard Rileys sharp squeal of excitement. Hudson jumped from her arms towards the ground as Riley rushed forward and threw herself into Maya's arm.

Riley had only come home for one weekend at the end of september, this had been the longest time that she and Maya had spent apart since France.

Riley hugged her so tightly that Maya could barely breathe but she didn't care. She had missed her best friend. Riley dropped her arms from around her and picked up Maya's casted hand.

"I move to another state and you start getting into bar brawls? I should have known." She joked. Maya shook her head at her but smiled.

"You better be nice to me or I won't let you sign it" Maya teased. Riley scrunched her nose at her.

Amy came over and hugged Maya hello. Alan, who was perched in front of the tv watching football waved at her.

"Starting the party early?" Maya teased, walking up behind where Shawn was sitting on the sofa and knocking the side of his head.

"It's the holiday season." Shawn joked, raising the beer bottle as if to cheers her before bringing it to his lips.

Maya and Riley sat at the kitchen table peeling potatoes while Topanga milled around the kitchen. She mostly refused help from anyone, liking to stay in control but she let the girls and Amy do some of the brunt work like chopping and peeling to keep them occupied and out of her way.

Riley talked ideally about her classes and her roommate. She teased Maya about her broken hand and asked endless questions about life at Hudson, although Maya had already told Riley most of her stories over the phone or in emails.

Once they were finished peeling and chopping Topanga and Amy ushered them away from the table so it could be set. Maya wandered over to the living room area and grabbed a handful of chips on the coffee table before taking a seat on the couch beside Josh.

Eric, who was just on coming back from the kitchen with a fresh drink stopped in front of them.

" Three feet apart!" He chastised like a chaperone at a middle school dance as he squeezed himself between the two of them on the coach, forcing Josh up against Auggie who was on his other side and causing Maya to shift closer to Shawn.

"Good man." Shawn joked, reaching out to clink glasses with Eric. Maya rolled her eyes.

The couch was crowded with the five of them plus the dog. Shawn wrapped his arm around Maya's shoulder and pulled her neck as if he were about to rumple her hair with his knuckles.

Maya swatted him away but settled into his side as they all turned their attention back to the tv.

It wasn't long before Alan and Cory were asleep in the arm chairs and Shawn and Eric were both passed out on the couch.

"They haven't even had turkey yet and they're already out cold." Maya joked. Riley who was seated on the floor in front of the TV, flipping through the channels, snorted.

Topanga placed the last dish on the table and walked around to stand behind the couch. She took a breath and then brought her hands together in a loud sharp clap that caused the sleeping parties to jolt awake with a start.

"Dinner!" She announced, smiling sweetly around at all of them.

Josh and Maya hurried to the table to get seats beside one another before Eric could but between them again. Riley sat on Maya's other side and Shawn sat across from her beside Cory.

They were a fairly large group of 10 people, only missing Morgan and her husband who were spending the holiday with his family. They were loud and rowdy, nudging each other as they reached for the mashed potatoes or the stuffing, speaking over each other to be heard.

They were messy and at times dysfunctional but Maya was never sure she had ever felt so comfortable. This was the family she had missed out on growing up and she was thankful to have it now. There was a pang of pain in her heart that she always felt on times like this. At times when her mother was missing from the picture. But despite the hurt she felt she also felt safe.

Maya felt Josh slide his hand onto her knee and she smiled down at the food on her plate. She placed her hand on top of his, still smiling.

….

Everyone was crowded around the living room, perched on chairs, on the couch, or plopped on the floor, eating large pieces of pie and arguing over who should be on whose teams for board games. There seemed to be no combination of teams that everyone deemed fair. Shawn and Cory couldn't be on a team and neither could Riley and Maya. Maya and Josh couldn't be partners after last year when they had won by a landslide.

The chaos was interrupted when Maya felt her phone begin to buzz. She glanced down at the screen, confused as to who would be calling her. Everyone she spoke to regularly on the phone was in that room.

Her heart dropped at the sight of the 201 number. She was fairly sure that that was a New Jersey phone code and there was only one person that she knew who lived in that state.

She was sure that her feelings were written all over her face as Shawn, Josh and riley were all watching her with concern on their faces as Maya quietly excused herself to take the call. The rest of the Matthews were still bickering so loudly that they didn't even notice her go.

Maya wasn't sure where she was headed and somehow she found herself closing the door to the laundry room behind her.

"Hello?" she answered tentatively, holding her phone to her head as if it were made of delicate glass and might break if she made the wrong move.

"Hi Maya it's" But Maya didn't need him to finish the sentence to know who was on the other side of the phone. She just wondered how her father had gotten her cell phone number. She couldn't remember ever giving it to him. Kermit was still speaking sbut Maya couldn't really take in what he was saying.

" I just thought i'd give you a call, it being the holiday and all" those words hit Maya shot to the stomach. She thought of all the thanksgivings, christmases and birthdays that had passed in her life without a word from him.

Kermit was still rambling nervously when Maya cut him off.

"I don't have it if that's why you're calling." There was silence on the other end of the line.

" I got tested. My results were negative. So you don't have to" Maya stopped herself.

She was going to say ' so you don't have to check up on me. You don't have to feel guilty' because she knew that was the reason that he was taking any interest in her again. He could have abandoning her on his conscious but he couldn't take passing down an illness that could change the face of her whole life.

"Good" Kermit said softly on the other side of the line. She could hear the relief in his voice and it hurt her to know that he was most likely more relieved for himself than he was for her. It hurt Maya that she had become so bitter towards him that all she could believe from him was the worst.

There was a stretch of silence and Maya knew that neither one of them was sure how end the conversation.

"Goodbye" Maya said quickly and ended the call before she could stop herself.

Maya closed her eyes and tried to calm her heart rate. There was a soft knock on the laundry room door before it cracked open.

"Maya?" Josh's face peaked around the door.

"Everything okay?" he asked.

"Yeah." Maya promised her voice a little weaker than she would like. She felt tears begin to prick behind her eyes.

"Shit" she muttered underneath her breath and tried to bite back the tears. Josh moved forward and pulled her into him, wrapping his arms around her.

"I hate that he still gets to me." she muttered. She wondered if she would ever forgive her father. She couldn't see how she could. It felt like such an impossible task.

"I know." Josh said quietly, holding her close to him. Maya felt the weight in her chest get a little lighter. Josh had a way of carrying some of her burdens for her when she couldn't do it on her own.

She pulled back to look at him and Josh reached up to wipe the stray tear off her cheek with his thumb.

Leaned leaned forward to kiss him. It wasn't quite as frenzied as earlier that day but Maya once again couldn't resist the idea of his skin on her own.

They stood there for a moment, locked together before the laundry room door banged open.

"Oh come on!" Eric grumbled, digging his fork into his slice of pie and shoveling it into his mouth.

" You guys suck at sneaking around. This is the second time that i've caught you today. ME!" Eric let out a huff and stalked off.

"When did he catch us before?" Josh asked in confusion but all Maya could do was laugh.


	79. Chapter 79

SS 79

 _ **Sorry I haven't updated in a while! You know the routine. I've been busy and all that boring stuff. Thank you all for continuing to read and support this story! This chapter is a little more M rated. Just so you know.I hope you enjoy!**_

When Maya walked out of her last final exam of her first semester of university she was sure she had never been so tired. Her whole world had revolved around going over her notes and doing practice questions ever since thanksgiving.

Her whole body was flooded with relief as she stepped out onto the street and felt the cold air sting against her skin. It was all over. She didn't have to think about school again until well after christmas. All she had to think about now was christmas shopping, watching bad holiday movies all hours of the day, and taking Hudson for long walks in the park so he could play in the snow. Within the week Riley would be home and they could go and see all the window displays in the big department store, the way they used to when they were kids. They would go ice skating at rockefeller centre. Maya hated it, the cliche act that it was, but it was something Riley looked forward to every christmas. So Maya braved the tourists to make her best friend happy.

Soon they would all be headed up to Pennsylvania to spend christmas at the Matthews house, the same way they had the year before. Maya's stomach felt warm when she thought of it. Christmas at the Matthews held a special place in her heart now. She had never had a big family, so being cramped together in a house full of people arguing, and laughing, and shouting across the room to be heard, was all sort of a novelty to her. It was what she had always imagined a christmas might be like in a 'normal' family. Wrapping paper everywhere and so much food that there was no way the world anyone could ever eat all of it.

There was nothing wrong with the way she had celebrated christmas growing up. She wouldn't trade those quiet mornings she had spent with her mother for anything in the world. But there was something about christmas with the Matthews. She would never again have a christmas like she had had growing up. She held onto those memories, but she relished in her ability to make new ones.

Then there was Josh. She had hardly seen him since thanksgiving. She'd been so busy studying that they'd only been able to meet up a handful of times, always just a quick lunch or cup of coffee between classes or study sessions. Maya thought it was probably good that she'd only met up with Josh in public over the past few weeks. Seeing as lately every time she saw him she could hardly control herself. It was as if a flip had switched in her head and the only thing she could think about when she was around him was his hands on her skin. It was as if a whole new burst of hormones had awoken in her and she didn't know how to turn them off.

She wanted to be with him. She wanted him. But she didn't know how to bring it up. She didn't know how to broach the topic of sex with him. Maya thought that there was still a part of Josh that was holding back with her. There was still a part of him that thought that she was bound to break and come apart in his hands.

But Josh was a guy. A grown man who had been to college and had a job. Who had experienced more of the world than she had. It's not like she wanted to keep him waiting, but before now it had never felt like the right time. But now she was sure and she was ready but she was also scared. Scared of what Josh would think of her. Scared of things she didn't know.

It was snowing softly as Maya walked back to the dorms. It was the last night she would spend there before she spent the rest of break back at home. It was also Sasha's last night before she flew home to spend the holidays in Indiana with her family.

"Party!' Sasha shrieked as Maya came through the door. Maya shushed her. The dorm was still technically on quiet hours as most students weren't finished taking their exams yet.

"Sorry!" Sasha said quietly, getting off her bed and pressing the bottle of tequila she had in her hand into Maya's.

"But we need to celebrate. We finished our first semester of university in one piece!" Sasha squealed.

" a few other girls from the floor who are finished are coming cover, they're on snack detail. Who needs to brave the cold when we can have our own party right here?" Maya rolled her eyes at her friend but took the bottle from her hands and took a swig. They were celebrating after all.

…..

It was hours later and the bottle of tequila lay empty on the girls dorm room floor. There was an empty pizza box laying beside it and open bags of chips and boxes of candy. Two girls from down the hall, April and Leah, were passed out already, one on Sasha bed and the other on a bean bag chair in the corner.

Sasha and Maya huddled together on Maya's bed, giggling about Maya had a flash of seriousness.

"I think I want to have sex with Josh tomorrow." Maya blurted out without really thinking what she was saying.

"What like you haven't before?" Sasha quipped back. Maya didn't respond which caused Sasha to look over at her.

"Have you not?" Sasha almost in shock.

"Why does everyone just assume that we're sleeping together? You. My dad, my friends." Sasha let out a sigh.

" I don't know. It's just like he's hot and you're hot and generally when two hot people get together they get...hot." Sasha took a breath

" and I mean he's older and you've been together for a while so I just thought that…"

"Well we haven't. Not yet." Maya clarified.

"And it's not that I haven't wanted to it just that.." Maya wavered off.

" have you ever done it before?" Sasha asked carefully, watching Maya's face for her reaction. Maya didn't answer at first. Considering what she wanted to say.

" I don't really know." Maya said carefully. Sasha looked at her in confusion.

"You don't?"

" It was almost a year an half ago. Right after my mom died. I was In France for this art program. I was pretending to be okay, but i was really messed up at the time. There was this party and I was drinking on my anti depressants. It got out of was this guy…" Maya paused for a second, trying to pull together her thoughts.

" I don't remember much. It's all flashes. I remember him on top of me. I remember him touching me but after that it's all blur. I was never sure. So I ignored it. I pretended like nothing had ever happened. Maybe it didn't. Maybe it did, but …."

"When I woke up there I was sure. Sure that I was just some dirty used up sad girl who made yet another mistake but i've always been quick to believe the worst in myself. Part of me thinks that nothing really happened, that i've built it up in my head to be worse than it was but…" Maya trailed off again. Sasha was quiet for a minute.

"It might not be my place to say, but I think that you'd If you feel like you're a virgin, then you're a virgin, be damned what anyone else says."

"And not that it's my business, but from what i've seen of your boyfriend I don't think that he'd care either way. That boy is head over heels for you. It's like you hung his sun in the sky."

"Oh please" Maya hushed her.

"It's true. You might not see the way he looks at you but the rest of the world does. " Sasha promises.

"And I think that if you tell him, you'd see that."

Maya stared up at her ceiling and let all the thoughts stir around in her head. Was Sasha right? Or would telling Josh only ruin everything that they had built together so far?

….

Maya felt her nerves mounting as she climbed the stairs to Josh's apartment. He had finished his last exam that day meaning that they were both officially on winter break. She felt herself getting jittery as she came closer and closer to Josh's door. Part of her wanted to chicken out, invite Josh to go christmas shopping and stay out in public where she was safe, but deep in her gut she knew that now was the time. She wanted to be with Josh, and if she wanted to be with him she needed to be honest with him and hope that he still wanted her.

It was the act of getting up to the conversation and then having the conversation that had Maya on edge.

She paused for a moment before knocking on Josh's door. After she entered the apartment there would be no going back for her. This was it. It was time to move forward, one way or another.

Maya knocked quickly on the door before she could think too much more about it.

It wasn't a minute before Josh pulled the door open and greeted her with a smile so wide and genuine that it made Maya's heart ache.

"Hey!" Josh said as he pulled her into the apartment and towards him. He pushed the door closed behind them and pulled her against him, wrapping his arms around her.

He kissed her deeply and Maya felt herself melt into him.

"I missed you" Josh muttered against her lips. Maya smiled against him.

" I missed you too." she admitted.

Maya shrugged off her coat and kicked off her boots before Josh pulled her deeper into the tiny apartment.

"School is finally finished and now we're free to do whatever we want." Josh stated as he sat down on the couch and pulled Maya down with him. He pulled her close into his side.

"And yet this is the only thing that I want to do." Maya said before she could stop herself, pulling Josh's face back towards her.

He kissed her again with no hesitation. It had been so long since they had been alone together like this and neither one of them seemed able to control themselves. It wasn't long before they had fallen backward, Maya's back pressed against the couch cushions with Josh on top of her, his legs on either side of her, one hand wound in her hair and the other just beginning to inch its way under her shirt.

Maya could hardly breath as Josh kissed her, on her lips, her neck, her collarbone. Her whole head went fuzzy as she got lost in his touch.

Maya felt him grow against her and wanted more than anything to let herself go and lose herself in the moment. But she couldn't. If she was going to do this she needed Josh to know what was going on. She didn't want to lie to him, even if it was just a lie of omission.

"Josh." Maya finally said once she could bring herself to speak. Josh moved off of her immediately, the tone of her voice letting him know that something was wrong. He sat up, and Maya sat up with him, pulling her top back into position on her body and holding her arms close to her chest in self consciousness.

"I'm sorry." Josh said abashed.  
"I didn't mean to pressure you or"

"No it's not that." maya reassured him, reaching out to touch his arm. Maya didn't want him to think that he'd done anything wrong. This was her..

"It's just that." Maya could feel a her throat go try, and she suddenly felt like she could hardly speak. Her hands were shaking.

"I need to tell you" she got out before her voice started to shake and she had to stop. She could feel the tears starting to well up in her eyes and she tried desperately to hold them back.

"Hey, hey,hey" Josh said quickly, turning to her and taking her hands in his.

"It's okay." he promised, reaching out to turn her chin so that she was looking in his eyes.

" you can tell me anything." he prompted.

….

Josh sat quietly as Maya spoke.

She told him about France. About feeling lonely and isolated, about pretending to be fine when she talked to him or Riley or Shawn. About how she thought that if she acted like she was okay than she would be.

She told him about getting drunk and not being able to see straight. About feeling more alone than she ever had in her whole life. About the guy. About the flashes that she remembered and all the gaps she couldn't fill in. About not being sure what happened. About feeling ashamed.

Josh hadn't let go of her hand the whole time she spoke but he squeezed it at that last thing she said.

"Are you okay?' he asked softly, watching her with concern. Maya was staring down at her hands wrapped in Josh's.

" I've just been holding this all in, and trying to figure it all out and I feel like i've let you down and "

"Don't do that. You're not letting me down." He promised.

"I'm not going to hold against you some mistake you made when you were broken. No matter what did or didn't happen. It's over now." Josh reached out and wiped a stray tear that was rolling down Maya's face.

"It was a mistake. People make mistakes. I make mistakes, and we're going to make more. That's life. Right now there's nothing you could say or do to me that would change the way I feel about you. I mean does the idea of someone else touching you make my skin crawl? A little. But it was a long time ago and as long as you're okay, i'm okay." He promised. Maya felt her eyes beginning to brim with tears again.

" I don't deserve you." Maya muttered, leaning her forehead against Josh's shoulder.

"Don't say that either." Josh stated, wrapping his arm around her and pulling her back into him. They sat there for a while, Josh holding her close to his chest as if hoping he could make everything dark that had ever happened go away.

"It's always you, you know" Maya said quietly.

"It's always going to be you."

Slowly, Maya got to her feet and extended her hand to Josh. He took it and without saying anything Maya led him backwards into his bedroom.

They stopped at the foot of his bed and Maya looked up at him carefully. She took a step towards him so there there was less than a breath of space between placed her hands on his shoulder and slowly pushed the hoodie he was wearing off his shoulders in a slow, careful movement, not breaking eye contact with him. She slowly unzipped her own sweater and let if fall off her body.

She reached out for Josh's hands and placed them on the edge of her t shirt. She raised her arms and without hesitating Josh pulled her shirt up and over her head in one movement. He closed the space between them in half a step, kissing her the same way he had before, but somehow, although Maya didn't quite understand how it was possible, with more passion than before.

Maya pushed up Josh's shirt and he yanked it off with such speed that Maya was surprised he didn't pull a muscle. He pulled her close again and Maya could barely breath as they kissed. She reached down to fumble with the snap of her own jeans and had even more trouble with Josh's belt buckle. Her casted hand was practically useless and she couldn't help but laugh as she struggled to undo his belt.

When Maya had imagined this moment she had never imagined any laughing, but in all honesty there were part of it that were funny. Her inability to undo Josh's belt without his help. The fact that she'd warn tight pants that day and had had to lay on her back on the bed and have Josh yank at one leg after the other. She was glad that she could laugh. That in these moments leading up to intimacy she still felt so comfortable with him. She thought maybe it was because they had been friends first. That because they had spent years building up to this moment, it was that much easier to feel safe.

Josh crawled onto of her on the bed, both of them just in their underwear now. This was the farthest they had ever gone, but Maya didn't want to stop. This was the moment. This felt right.

Josh struggled slightly with the clasp of Maya's bra and her arched her backup to give him more room to maneuver. Her bra fell away and Maya gasped as she felt Josh graze against her. His hands wandered every inch of her body and Maya could hardly hold herself together as she felt his fingers against her skin.

The rest of their clothes fell away until there was nothing between them, just skin against skin. Josh nearly knocked his bed side lamp over as he reached for the bedside table drawer for something.

Maya had thought she would feel nervous or scared, but as she looked up into Josh's eyes she felt entirely at ease.

"Is this okay?" Josh asked, hovering over her and waiting for the go ahead, not wanting to push the boundaries without her okay. She nodded.

"Yes." She said breathlessly, looking up into his eyes.

Maya couldn't stop herself from gasping as she felt Josh push inside of her. Her whole body felt as if it were on fire. She head spun as Josh kissed her and they moved in time with one another.

It felt like a first time, in more ways than one, and now she really knew what it felt like to be falling in love.

 **Ahhh! Here we are. I know this is a controversial chapter for a lot of people but here it is! This is what it is! So yeah! Hope you enjoyed!**


	80. Chapter 80

Someday Soon Chapter 80

 **AN: Hey! It's been forever! I'm so sorry. Busy time of year! I can't believe it's already chapter 80! Where does the time go? Thanks for sticking it out with this story! I'll try to be more consistent with my updating :) Enjoy!**

It was raining when Maya woke up. The water was pelting against the small window of Josh's bedroom. It was just starting to get light out, and without looking at the clock Maya could tell that it was early. When she first woke up she immediately wanted to fall back to sleep. The air in the room was cool but under the covers of Josh's bed it was warm and safe. Maya was laying on her stomach and she could feel Josh's arm draped across the bare skin of her lower back. She wanted to sink back into the deep sleep she had just come out of. She didn't want the moment to end, but after a second she realized that it didn't have to. There was nothing stopping them from laying in bed all day. It had never really been like this before. When they hadn't been together, the morning after any night they spent together had been embarrassing, the two of them pulling apart and pretending that they hadn't spent the whole night wrapped up together. Maya had slept over the night after Halloween, but her arm had been in so much pain that they couldn't enjoy the morning in bed. Sasha had flounced into the room and sent Josh running the night he spent at the dorm. This was a first. Another first.

After Josh had fallen asleep the night before, Maya had slipped out of bed to use the washroom. She had wrapped herself in one of the blankets from the bed and padded as quietly as she could out of the bedroom and across the tiny apartment to the bathroom. As she washed her hands she looked up to stare at herself in the mirror. Maya was almost surprised that she recognized herself. She felt different. She hadn't expected to feel different. She felt lighter, yet fuller, and okay maybe a little sore. She was almost dazed. She'd been so uncertain about how the night would go, what would come from the conversation with Josh, what his reaction would be. She should have known that he would be understanding. That he would be kinder than felt she deserved.

Maya had climbed back into bed as gently as she could, not wanting to wake up Josh, but as soon as she got back under the covers she felt Josh shift and put his arms around her again. She settled back into him and within a few minutes found herself fading into a deep and heavy sleep.

Maya felt Josh stir beside her, and his hand graze her skin. Sensing that Maya was already awake, Josh shifted to pull her closer to him. Maya went willingly, turning over to that they were face to face. They were so close that their noses grazed one another.

"Hi." Maya said quietly, looking into Josh's eyes.

"Hi" Josh replied, reaching to move the hair that had fallen into Maya's face out of her eyes.

"Are you okay?" Josh asked, watching her carefully. Maya cracked a smile.

"I'm great." she promised. Josh returned her smile and moved forward, to kiss her.

"What do you want to do today?" Josh asked, running his hand up and down her arm softly.

"Nothing. Just this." Maya replied simply. Josh smirked at her, but rolled his eyes.

"It's early. You'll get bored of me yet" Josh countered, teasing.

"Doubtful. Although I may get hungry."

" Now that i'd believe" Josh retorted. Maya rolled her eyes in return.

" I will have to go home at some point today." Maya admitted.

"Shawn knows my classes are over now, so he'll be expecting me."

Josh pretended to pout.

" I would protest but we've a whole month of freedom ahead of us."

" I like the sound of that." Maya replied.

" So do I, and this is my formal request for your gift wrapping skills. Everyone used to expect my garbage wrap jobs. Now they expect something presentable."

" I can make that happen. But only if you convince your mother to make those same peanut butter cookies again this year." Maya countered.

Amy had made a comment at thanksgiving about cutting down on her amount of baking this year, which left the whole family arguing about what cookies should make the cut and which should be tossed. Maya's personal favourites seemed to be on the chopping block and she needed someone to back her up.

"I'll see what I can do." Josh promised.

"It's snowing." Josh commented, having looked over Maya's shoulder and outside the window. Maya twisted and sure enough the rain from a few moments earlier had transformed into light flaky clumps of bright white snow. It was more than likely that the snow would turn back to rain and leave the streets a slushy mess before the afternoon, but in that moment it was almost magical.

Maya turned back to Josh and settled herself against his chest as he wrapped his arms around her. Maya just wanted to lay there for hours, her head on Josh's chest, safe under the covers with the snow falling lightly outside the window.

"I give it fifteen minutes before you start demanding breakfast." Josh joked.

Maya shushed him, determined to last at least 20, although she knew in her heart of hearts it wouldn't be long before she needed a bagel.

…

Maya unlocked her apartment door and immediately dropped to her knees as Hudson came scuttering out of her bedroom towards her. The little dog jumped all over her, licking at her face and nearly bursting with excitement.

Maya stayed on the floor for a while, enjoying all the attention from her dog. It was hard staying at the dorms away from her dad and the little dog that held her heart, but it was always rewarding to come home and have Hudson so overly excited to see her.

She and Josh had hung around in bed for a while before finally getting up and walking hand in hand down to the little cafe near Josh's apartment. They'd had breakfast and Josh had walked her back to her apartment. Josh had left Maya to get settled back at home, promising to call her later.

Maya picked up her bag and headed back to her bedroom, Hudson still on her heels. She placed her bag down on her bed and changed into a baggy sweatshirt and a pair of joggers. She took her clothes from the previous day, as well as some others, and headed out into the living room, opening the closet that held the washing machine and putting on a load. She put her hair up and washed her face before padding back out to the kitchen.

Shawn was still at work and would be for quite some time. He'd be working right up until christmas when they headed to Pennsylvania. Maya grabbed the tv remote and turned the channel playing made for tv christmas movies 24 hours a day.

Now that classes and exams were over Maya was ready to get in the holiday spirit. All the stress from the last few weeks had been lifted off her shoulders. She had never been much of a baker, but after mentioning those peanut butter cookies earlier that morning she was craving something sweet. There was never much in the cupboard of this apartment. Shawn got most of his meals from take out containers or the Matthews downstairs. Still, there were enough basics ( most of them untouched), for Maya to throw together something that at least resembled a cookie.

….

" Is something burning?" were Shawn's first words when he unlocked the apartment door and the scent inside hit him.

"That would be my attempt at chocolate sauce." Maya admitted, stepping into the living room from the kitchen.

"I left it to air out on the fire escape but the smell kind of lingered."

" Who told you you could use the stove without adult supervision?" Shawn teased, giving Maya a hug and leaning down to scratch Hudson behind the ears.

Maya just rolled her eyes at him and turned around to head back into the kitchen, Her chocolate sauce had been a bit of a disaster because she didn't have a double boiler, or even really know what that was, and had gotten distracted by the end of _Holiday in Handcuffs_ and forgotten to keep stirring.

"Should I be afraid?" Shawn asked, following her into the kitchen and picking up one of the cookies that were cooling on the counter. Maya swatted at him.

"They turned out fine." Maya defended, picking up a cookie and taking a bite.

"In all honesty, it would have been a lot smarter to go to the bakery downstairs and just buy some cookies but by the time I realized that I had already cracked the eggs." Maya admitted.

"They aren't bad." Shawn admitted, taking another bite of the cookie and moving to the fridge, and taking out a carton of milk.

"Does this mean you're going to start cooking dinner from now on?" Shawn asked.

"You wish. I already ordered Thai food." Maya retorted.

" So what did you get up to last night?" Shawn asked, taking a gulp of the glass of milk he had poured to dip his cookie in.

Maya felt all the blood rush to her face. It was an innocent question. There was no reason for Shawn to believe that Maya had done anything else the night before than hang out in her dorm room and maybe see a movie.

"Nothing." Maya answered almost too quickly, her voice a little higher and more defensive than normal.

"You know what," Shawn started, picking up a few more cookies and turning to go sit on the couch.

"I really don't want to know" he admitted, wanting the avoid the awkward conversation just as much as she did.

"Good answer." Maya approved, taking another bite of her cookie and silently thanking god that she didn't have to admit to her father that she'd actually needed the condoms he'd put in her room.


	81. Chapter 81

SSC 81

Maya had never appreciated just how comfortable her bed at home was until she had spent 3 months sleeping on the lumpy twin sized dorm mattress. Each morning that she woke up with enough space to stretch out and hudson sleeping by her feet made the day that much sweeter. Even with Riley crashed out in her room most nights leading up to christmas, Maya had more space than she'd had in months.

The first night that Riley arrived back in the city she and Maya had stayed up almost the whole night, sitting up talking. While they had seen each other only a few weeks ago at thanksgiving, but this felt different. They were both giddy with the excitement and relief of being done their first semester of college.

Maya had been hesitant at first to tell Riley the other reasons for her heightened good. On one hand, Riley was her best friend, the one person in the world that she should be able to tell everything. The person she wanted to tell all her secrets to. On the other hand, how did Maya just casually bring up that she'd just had sex with a member of her best friends immediate family?

Like " Hey Riles! How was the drive from Pennsylvania? Oh by the way I just got back from losing my virginity to your hot uncle. Should we order pizza?"

It wasn't as if Riley had already assumed that she and Josh had been having sex for a while. She had thought it earlier in the summer and Maya had had to correct her. It shouldn't have felt like a big deal to tell RIley the truth.

Yet as they sat on Maya's bed across from one another, Maya felt the words get caught in her throat, but it wasn't a secret she could contain.

Maya remembered Riley's first time with Lucas. Maya had known when it was going to happen. She and Riley had talked about it, trying to decide when would be the right time, where would be the right place. How it should be. She remembered Riley climbing into her window early the next morning after coming home and confessing the events of the night. Riley hadn't been embarrassed to share with Maya anything about her most vulnerable moments.

Eventually over the course of the night of Maya and Riley talking, Maya came clean about what had happened. Her cheeks had pulsed read the whole time, staring down at her hands folded in her lap.

Riley had just smirked knowingly at her and laughed, making some dumb comment about it being a long time coming.

They hadn't lingered on the topic for long. Maya knew that it must be at least slightly awkward for Riley to talk about Josh in that way. She didn't push it. She was happy that they could speak about it but she didn't need to have a whole conversation revolving around the subject.

Riley and Maya spent almost all their waking hours together over the next few days, christmas shopping around the city, eating pastries and drinking coffee in the cafe downstairs, and decorating cookies with Auggie and Ava in the Matthews apartment.

Maya had spent the better part of one afternoon dragging Riley from shop to shop trying to find the right gift for Josh. He wasn't exactly a material person. He didn't have a whole lot of stuff. Last year she had given him a joke t shirt she'd found in a junk shop that she'd known would make him laugh. But last year had been different. They had only been friends then. So much had changed in the past few months.

" I mean what's the point?" Riley asked as she and Maya riffled through baskets of roughed up old records in a small hole in the wall shop not far from the Hudson campus.

"You've already given him your most precious gift." Riley jokes, referring to the secret Maya had shared with her only a few nights earlier. Maya swatted at her with her hand.

" Don't you sound like an after school special. What? Was that what your mom called it when she gave you the talk about the birds and the bees?" Maya joked back.

" I hardly remember what she said because it was so hard to hear her over the sound of the dad humming loudly with his fingers in his ears outside the door."

" You know I think I would have prefered that to Shawn's attempt at a sex talk a few months ago."

Riley, who had just taken a gulp of her now luke warm latte, almost spit the mouthful of her drink all over the table in front of her.

"I would have loved to have been there for that" Riley sputtered, wiping her mouth with the back of her hand.

"You wouldn't. Trust me." Maya answered, feeling her cheeks go scarlett at the memory.

"Well then can't you just buy him a mug or something? We've been at this for hours and we've got nothing to show for it." Riley complained. Riley was more than ready to head back to her apartment and watch made for tv christmas movies while lounging on the couch and eating obnoxious amounts of take out chinese food.

" Do you remember the first christmas after you started dating the boy and you drug me across the city for 3 days trying to find the perfect gift and then ended up ordering his present on amazon? You owe me." Maya reminded.

She hadn't been sure if she should bring up Lucas or not. Maya knew that Riles and the Ranger were on decent terms but she didn't want to bring it up in case it made Riley upset. The holidays were a difficult time to be alone.

But mention of her old boyfriend didn't seem to bother Riley at all. She merely shrugged, considering.

"Fine. You've got me on that one." Riley admitted, picking up a record before promptly dropping it back into the bin.

"But I don't think we're going to find anything in this place. Can't we take a bagel break and brainstorm?" Riley asked, a slight plead in her voice.

Maya conceded, her own stomach was beginning to growl slightly anyway.

"Maybe the cream cheese will clear your head." Riley suggested, reaching out to take Maya's hand and lead her out of the shop.

….

"This would never happen in real life." Josh commented for what seemed like the millionth time. Maya and Josh were tucked away in Josh's apartment. Josh was lounging across the couch, his hand in a bowl of caramel corn.

Maya was sitting on the floor, her back leaning against the couch. She'd pushed the coffee table out of the way to have room to spread out the wrapping paper and gifts around her.

The tv was playing a hallmark christmas movie about a real estate developers son falling in love with the local hotel owners daughter and them working together to save the historic building from being turned into a luxury resort.

"You're such a cynic. Besides, it's a christmas movie. It isn't supposed to be realistic." Maya replied, pulling the box that contained Josh's gift to Cory towards her, and cutting off the correct amount of wrapping papers dotted with tiny christmas trees and red bows.

"And a condition of me wrapping your presents for you, was that I got to pick the movie. So no complaining." Maya reminded, gesturing at him with a coil of ribbon she had just curled.

Josh rolled his eyes at her.

" I noticed there's nothing here addressed to me." Maya pointed out, teasing him.

" I'm not going to make you wrap your own christmas gift."

Maya smirked.

"So I should expect it in a gift bag then?" Maya teased once again. Josh poked the back of her neck with his bare foot in retaliation.

"Jesus." Maya muttered, recoling.

"You're feet are freezing!" she exclaimed, leaning away from him.

"Come warm me up then." Josh promoted, reaching out his hand and wrapping it around Maya's arm, pulling her backwards towards him. Maya went willingly. Climbing onto the couch and on top of Josh.

Josh brushed the hair out of Maya's face and behind her ear before he leaned up to kiss her. His hands moved up around her waist as her's rested on his shoulders. Josh wasn't sure how long they stayed like that, but when they broke away and glanced at the clock they saw that it was nearly 6:30 and Maya should have left a few minutes ago if she wanted to be on time for dinner.

"You better get going." Josh stated, jerking his head in the direction of the clock on the tv stand, drawing Maya's attention to it. Maya signed, before shaking her head and leaning back down as if to kiss Josh again.

"I'll just skip it" she muttered before attempting to kiss him again. Josh shifted his head away so her lips caught the side of his cheek instead of his mouth.

"Oh no you won't. You dad and Uncle will be waiting for you and i'm still try to stay in Shawns good graces." Shawn sat up, causing Maya, who was on top of him, to be forced into a sitting position as well.

Maya rolled her eyes. She was meeting her Uncle Jack for the first time and she knew that Shawn was a little nervous about it. Shawn and Jack had a complicated relationship and Maya knew she couldn't leave her father out to dry.

Maya let her head fall back in exasperation.

" Fine" she conceded, glancing over at the clock on more time.

"But five more minutes." she bargained, wrapping her fingers into Josh's hair and pulling his face back to hers.


	82. Chapter 82

**I'm sorry I haven't posted in so long! I've been so aggressively busy but I know that none of you actually care about any of that ish so here. Enjoy.**

SS 82

Riley reached across the aisle with her foot and nudged Maya's knee.

"You're drooling" Riley teased as she leaned back in her seat. Maya lifted her head off of Josh's shoulder and drew her hand across her mouth quickly.

"Sorry." She muttered sleepily, whipping off of the spot on Josh's shirt where her head had been resting, nervous that she actually had drooled onto Josh's shoulder. Josh just shook his head at her and gave her knee a soft squeeze.

The train ride up to pennsylvania had rocked Maya to sleep. She felt as if she had never really recovered from all the time she spent staying up studying for finals. She wasn't a good sleeper to begin with. She hadn't been for years. She longed for the days when she could fall asleep almost sheerly by willing herself to. When she was younger it was almost as if all she had to do was close her eyes for more than a few straight seconds and she would be fast asleep.

Now her nights were plagued with long stretches of consciousness. She would stare at the ceiling for hours, listening to the sound of her roommates light snoring or the sirens from the streets outside. Now that she was spending the night back in her old room she would listen to the sound of Hudson breathing heavily at the end of her bed.

But she'd always liked trains. There was something about the rocking of the car and the scenery flying past the window that had made her eyelids heavy and her head droop. However, the ride from Philadelphia to New York was so short and Maya's nap so brief that it had the effect of leaving her groggy when the car finally came to a halt at their destination.

Maya almost stumbled into Riley as they climbed down the steps of the train onto the platform. Shawn grabbed the back of her shirt to keep her from pushing against Riley's back and send them both tumbling into the concrete of the landing below.

Maya let out a frustrated huff when her two feet finally landed solidly on flat ground and readjusted her backpack on her shoulders. She'd woken up from her nap in a foul mood, having not slept much the night before. Her stomach felt sour due to the fact that she hadn't bothered to eat breakfast before they left the apartment that morning, and her head ached slightly from lack of water.

These were problems she could solve with a few bites of a power bar and an evian bottle, but in that moment Maya wasn't thinking about solutions. She was thinking about about getting out the trains station before she lost it on the next random stranger who brushed by her, or god forbid she started to cry.

She sped walked in front of the group on their way towards the front doors.

Alan was waiting outside with a three row car he had borrowed from one of the neighbours. They were a party of seven and the Matthews didn't have a car to accommodate them, as well as all of the luggage and Hudson's dog carrier.

They all loaded their bags into the back of the borrowed car and climbed in. Maya, Riley, and Josh all slide into the miniscule third row. Somehow Auggie, despite his age and size, had snagged one of the fullsize seats in the front row and was sitting smugly on his phone, occasionally throwing a holier than thou look over this shoulder at them.

Maya sat in the middle seat with a sour look on her face, her arms folded across her chest. Everyone chatted around her, discussing the sleeping arrangements for the next few days, plans for that nights dinner and other logistics for their stay.

Maya didn't say anything, breathing deeply through her nose.

"Are you still alive in there?" Riley asked jokingly, waving her hand in front of Maya's face. Maya swatted it away, without answering or looking at her. A granola bar came flying over the back seat and landed in Maya's lap.

"Eat a snickers kid." Shawn commanded, craning his neck backwards to look at her.

"You get bitchy when you're hungry." He joked. Josh dug around in his backpack and produced a half empty bottle of water and placed it on Maya's knee. Riley pulled a bottle of Advil out of her purse and pressed it into her best friends hand.

"Wow. Thanks Dads." Maya spat back sarcastically, although she unwrapped the granola bar and took a bite, following it up with two of the advil and a chug of water.

She didn't speak again until they reached the Matthews house. She silently drank her water and nibbled at her snack, slowly feeling more and more like herself again.

Riley knocked her knee against Maya's and Josh placed his hand on her leg. Maya put her hand on top of his, grateful that she had people who would take care of her even when she might not deserve it.

…..

Amy had lunch waiting for them when they arrived at the house and Maya wasted no time loading up her plate and tucking in. She felt leaps and bounds better after a little bit of food and a few glasses of water, but her stomach was still essentially empty, and Amys cooking had always been some of Maya's favourite.

Their group this christmas was smaller than in holidays past. Morgan and her husband were spending Christmas with his family in Georgia and Eric had also opted out of the family gathering, having decided to take a last minute trip to Prague. No one was quite sure why, but often with Eric it was just better not to ask.

" So we thought you could share your old room with Auggie." Amy began, speaking directly to Josh before addressing the whole group.

"Riley, you and Maya can take Morgans old room again, and the three big kids can share the downstairs." Amy suggested, gesturing at Cory, Topanga, and Shawn.

" and just a friendly reminder that these room assignment are firm." Alan joked.

"So that means so switching roommates." he continued poking his fork first at Josh and then at Maya.

Maya rolled her eyes and josh grimicied slightly as Shawn clapped him on the back.

"Why would we want to switch rooms?" Auggie asked. Everyone around the table shared knowing looks and cracked smiles. Auggie, clearly frustrated of not understanding, let out a disgruntled huff.

" is it because they kiss?" Auggie asked, pointing between Josh and Maya. Maya, who had just taken a large gulp of water, almost spat it all over her half eaten lunch as she struggled to contain her laughter.

Riley aimed a kick at Auggie under the table as the rest of the family burst out in varying degrees of laughter.

"Actually it's because you do more than kiss." Riley said under her breath so that only Maya could hear.

This time it was Maya who stomped on Riley's foot beneath the table.

….

There was only a thin layer of snow on the ground outside but after putting their things in their rooms, Maya, Riley, Josh, Auggie, Corey, and Shawn all put on their jackets, hats and gloves, laced up their boots and headed out into the yard.

After a sad attempt at a snowman and snow angels that turned mostly into grass angels, a snowball fight broke out.

Teams quickly formed and Alliances were made. Riley, Maya, and Shawn against Josh, Cory and Auggie.

They scrambled to scrap together snowball and hurl them at their opponents. Maya finally pushed over their feeble attempt at a snowman to create more ammo.

Maya shrieked when Josh lifted her off her feet to use her as a human shield against Shawns perfectly aimed throws.

She repaid him by smashing a handful of snow into his face. He wiped it away, his skin pink from the cold and leaned down to press his freezing lips to her nose.

A round ball of snow came smashing into both their faces.

Riley was standing a few feet away, another snowball ready in her hands.

"Break it up!" She shouted before throwing another snow ball straight into their faces.


	83. Chapter 83

SS 83

"What is that even supposed to be?" Maya teased, referring to the mageled cookie in front of Riley.

Maya, Riley, and Auggie were all gathered around the Matthews kitchen table, news paper spread out across the table and different bowls of coloured icing and sprinkles dotting the surface in front of them.

It was december 24th and the groups second day in Pennsylvania. Maya had woken up early and gone downstairs to find Amy in the kitchen already. Amy poured her a cup of coffee and the two sat and chatted for a while. Amy would always have a soft spot in her heart for her grand daughters best friend. Amy had always wanted to protect Shawn, who was motherless. She wanted to protect Maya for the same reason. Although she had found it a little strange at first, Amy was glad that Josh and Maya had gravitated towards each other.

Together, Amy and Maya had made the sugar cookie dough and let it chill in the fridge the rest of the morning while the others slowly woke up and made their way down stairs.

Now after cutting out the cookies in the shapes of candy canes, christmas trees, stars and other holiday deemed shapes, they sat down to decorate.

The adults were flitting between the kitchen and the living room, getting food ready for that night and the dining table set up for dinner.

Maya suspected that the cookie decorating was really just a ploy to keep the 'kids' out of the way.

"It's a candy cane!" Riley exclaimed, holding up her roughly decorated cookie that was messily covered with red and white icing that bled into one another.

" I see no proof of that." Maya joked, leaning in close to her cookie as she made another tiny stroke of icing on her cookie.

"Shut up." Riley grumbled, rolling her eyes at her friend.

"We can't all be artists." Riley pointed out.

"Plus i've decorated like 12 cookies in the time it's taken you to do two."

It was true. Maya had been putting painstaking effort into the cookies she was decorating, prefering to take her time rather than plow ahead the way that Riley and Auggie did. So far she'd decorated a cookie shaped like a snowflake, one gingerbread man, and was working on a christmas tree. She'd been using a toothpick to create delicate lines on the tree, simulating strings of lights and tiny red and green bobbeles.

"But your cookies look like that." Maya teased back, gesturing to the messy cookies Riley had set out in front of her. Riley picked up one of her cookies, which was oozing with red and green icing and broke it in two, passing half to Maya and shoving the other half in her mouth.

"Still tastes good." She said between her mouthful of cookie. Maya laughed and look a bite of the cookie Riley had handed her.

The kitchen door opened and a gust of cold wind came rushing into the room, sending a shiver up Maya's spine.

" The wind is kicking up out there." Josh stated as he closed to door behind himself, as he kicked off his boots and hung up his jacket on one of the boots beside the kitchen door.

Josh had gone out that morning to visit some of his old friends from high school and was just getting back to the house.

" Ohh cookies!" Josh exclaimed excitedly, making his way towards the table and reaching for the snowflake that Maya had painstakingly decorated.

"Don't!" Maya shrieked, slapping his hand away from her work.

"Take one of Riley's." Maya offered, picking up one of the roughly decorated cookies and pushing it into Josh's hand.

"Thanks" Josh said slowly, examining the cookie.

"It tastes fine!" Riley promised, noticing how hesitant Josh looked in regards to the cookie loaded with runny icing.

"I'll pass." Josh finally decided, placing the cookie back down on the table between Maya and Auggie.

Maya cold sense a pout coming on and she let out a deep sigh.

"Fine. Take one." Maya offered, lifting up her carefully decorated snowflake and placing it in front of Josh.

'They're going to get eaten eventually." she conceded as Josh giddily picked up the cookie and took a bite.

"Now that's love." Riley joked. Maya felt her cheeks flush. Love wasn't something they'd ever talked about. But was it true?

…

" You can't just make up rules like that!" Cory protested.

"I think I can because I just did." Maya proclaimed, sitting back down on the couch after her turn in out loud charades.

"But" Josh began before Topanga cut him off.

"We're keeping the point." she snapped, her fierce competitiveness coming out.

They had long since finished their christmas eve dinner of roast, mash potatoes and so many other side dishes that it seemed almost wasteful.

The whole family was gathered in the living room, playing games. They had split the teams into boys against girls and having Topanga on their team meant that the girls had to win at all costs.

"Write it down." Topanga demanded. Auggie, who had the job of keeping score, quickly marked down the points before anyone else could yell at him about it.

The games continued on that way until close to 11 when it was finally decided that they should all turn in for the night.

They filed up, or in Shawn, Cory, and Topanga's case, down stairs and turned into the prospective bedrooms. They brushed their teeth and changed into their pajamas. Riley had already pulled her face mask down over her face and started softly snoring when Maya pulled on a hoodie overtop of her t shirt and exited the room, closing the door softly behind her. She tip toed down the hallway, although she doubted anyone but Riley was already asleep.

She crept down the stairs and curled back up on the couch. She pulled a blanket off the back of the sofa and draped it over her legs. She reached for the remote and turned on the tv, turning the volume down self consciously, still nervous that she might be keeping someone up.

She flipped through the tv guide until she found the channel she was looking for. The exact movie she knew would be playing was playing, and her settled herself back against the couch cushions, feeling a wave of nostalgia and sadness wash over her.

The memories of staying up late on christmas eve and watching old cartoon christmas movies with her mother. Katy would hold Maya's feet in her lap and always squeeze her toes during the exciting part.

On the tv, a year without a santa claus played on as Heat Miser sang " I'm mr. green christmas, i'm mr sun".

Maya heard someone coming down the stairs behind her, and wasn't altogether surprised to find Josh there.

"I thought i'd find you here." He said, his voice just above a whisper. Maya pulled back the blanket as an invitation to come and sit down.

Maya had a suddenly flash back to a year to the day prior. When Josh had come downstair in the middle of the night to find her huddled on the couch, watching old christmas movies and trying to contain her tears.

That night Josh had sat down beside her and watched the movie in mostly silence. They were cautious when they touched, cautious with what they said. They'd fallen asleep sitting up, Maya's head leaned against his shoulder.

Now Josh came down and sat right beside her, wrapping his arm around her shoulder and pressed a kiss to her forehead. He pulled the blanket back over them.

They were silent for a while, just watching the screen in front of them. Josh could feel how tense Maya was next to him, despite the fact that she appeared completely comfortable, with her feet tucked up under her and her head rested against his shoulder.

"Are you thinking about your mom?" He asked, although he already knew the answer. Maya nodded, not looking up at him.

"Did you want to talk about it?" He continued, proceeding carefully. Maya shook her head in response.

" There's nothing really to talk about. I just miss her." She said simply, but Josh could hear the tears in her voice and knew that this would always be anything but simple.

Josh pulled her closer to him. Wrapping both his arms around her and pressing another kiss into her hair. He rested his chin on the top of her head as she pressed the side of her face against his chest, listening to the steady rhythm of his heart beat.

…..

Just as they had the year before, Josh and Maya fell asleep on the couch. The previous christmas they had fallen asleep sitting up and had woken up with stiff necks and feeling insanely awkward.

This year they ended up curled up together on the couch. Maya's body fitting perfectly into the curve of Josh's. They were still under the blanket, Maya using Josh's arm as a pillow.

Last christmas Alan had come down stairs early and found the two sitting up and assumed they were awake. He wished them a merry christmas and started a conversation with them as if they had been up for hours.

Once again, Alan came downstairs and discovered the two of them asleep on the couch. Only this year it was very clear that they had been there for a while.

"Hey." Alan said gruffly, nudging Josh's shoulder to rouse him.

"When I said you two couldn't share a bed room I didn't mean you should share the damn couch." He joked, only pretending to be frustrated. He turned away from them.

"I'll start the coffee." Alan stated, his voice thick with sleep.

"Oh and merry christmas!" he said over his shoulder, almost as an afterthought.

 **Honestly shook that this story is almost at 1000 reviews. Like what a world! Thank you so much!**


	84. Chapter 84

**Hi everyone. Sorry the upload of this chapter got messed up! Thanks to everyone who brought it to my attention. I know it's been a while and I should have fixed it before, but i've been at my lake house this whole time and I didn't bring my laptop! Anyway, there's a whole other part of this chapter tacked on at the end so I hope you enjoy! 3**

SS 84

Alan brought the pot of brewed coffee into the living room and set it on the coffee table, along with several mugs.

Josh and Maya had sat up on the couch but we're still huddled under the blanket; Josh's arm wrapped around Maya's shoulder and Maya's legs tucked up to her chest on the couch.

Josh leaned forward and poured himself and Maya a cup of coffee, adding the correct amount of cream and sugar to her cup. Maya took it gratefully and brought it up to her face.

Alan leaned back in his arm chair, cup of coffee in hand, and appraised the two of them.

" So if the two of you spent the whole night downstairs camped out on the couch, how was Santa supposed to come?" Alan joked.

" Santa seemed to do just fine." Josh pointed out, gesturing to the mantle where the stocking hung, bursting with items.

Maya suddenly realized that they hadn't been filled when everyone had gone to bed the night before. Therefore, at some point in the night Amy had snuck down stairs to fill everyone's stocking and place gifts under the tree, the way she had when all her children had been small.

That meant that Amy had come downstairs, found Josh and Maya asleep on the couch and decided to leave them be, rather then prod them awake and send them to their respective beds.

Maya blushed slightly at the thought. A high pitched shriek came from behind them.

" CHRISTMAS!"

Auggie come barreling down the stairs and hurled himself over the back of the couch, shaving through Josh and Maya's shoulders and landing squarely on their legs. Why he had aimed for that spot and not the expanse of empty couch was a mystery to Maya, who had had to hold up her cup away from her body to prevent it from spilling everywhere.

Auggie wiggled around between Maya and Josh, making himself comfortable, but fidgeting constantly, overcome with his excitement.

Maya scooted over, making room for Auggie, and settling back against the coach cushion instead of against Josh's body.

The rest of the family came trickling down slowly over the course of the next hour. Auggie couldn't sit still from impatience and excitement. Alan had to strong arm him back into a chair to keep him from racing upstairs and jumping on Riley, who was the last person to emerge from bed that morning.

Once Riley made her way downstairs and got settled with a cup of coffee and a large chocolate chip muffin from the batch Amy had made that week for this specific reason, Auggie distributed everyone's stocking and started tearing into his own.

Besides Auggie, whos stocking was still filled mostly with little toys, everyone got mostly practical things in their stockings.

Maya and Riley's stockings were packing with almost identical items. They got packages of athletic socks and a new set of pens, fresh toothbrushes and packages of gum and candy.

Maya had to laugh at the least least five tubes of chapstick that came tumbling out of her stocking when she turned it upside down. Maya was constantly buying, using and losing chapsticks.

"Very funny." Maya conceded, stuffing the capsticks and her other gifts back into the stocking and saying a silent prayer that she would manage to leave the matthews house without losing any of the new lip products.

The previous years christmas had been a windfall for Maya, and she had thought that was mostly due to Shawn trying to butter her up to stay in state for college. She hadn't been expecting the same number of gifts from her father that year, and yet she once again found herself surrounded by presents.

"You're going to give me major only child syndrome!" Maya exclaimed in disbelief, as she opened yet another extravagant gift from her dad.

" You are my only child! What am I supposed to do?" Shawn exclaimed, leaning back on the couch and taking another long gulp of his cup of coffee.

"You could always send a few more gifts in your nieces direction." Riley jokingly suggested.

" You do just fine." Topanga teased her daughter, swatting at her with some wrinkled wrapping paper.

Maya sat on the floor surrounded by the piles of books, clothes,electronics and more that Shawn had given her, feeling flushed.

She felt almost as if the universe was trying to make up for the years of lean christmases that she had been dealt the first 15 years of her life.

Money had always been tight for Katy and Maya. Christmas had never been an extravagant event. They exchanged small gifts, and mostly watched movies and ate takeout in the pajamas for the extent of the day.

Maya appreciated Shawn intentions, and was grateful for all the incredible gifts that he gave her, but she knew what he was doing. He was trying to fill the hole left in their lives the only way he knew how.

While his heart was in the right place, Maya would give it all back, and never take another christmas or birthday gift again if she could share even one more quiet christmas day with her mother and Shawn. Her family had grown so much over the years, extending to include the whole Matthews clan, but quite often Maya longed for the short lived days of her quiet family of three. Maya tried not to think too much about it, as she watched Hudson race around the floor and rustling around in the discarded wrapping paper.

It was a little before lunch before Maya and Josh got a chance to exchange their gifts for eachother. They hadn't gotten around to it that morning, being too distracted by buzz of christmas morning.

" I love the bag" Maya teased, as she took the gift that Josh handed to her.

" I didn't dare try and wrap it myself." Josh answered, smirking at her. Maya pulled the tissue paper out of the bag to get to it's contents.

"Stop." Maya gushed, when she saw what was in the bag. She reached in a pulled out the well worn NYU sweater that Josh had owned since he was a freshmen at the university. It was soft from years of wear and washes and was Maya's absolute favourite thing to steal from Josh whenever she got the chance. The issue being that it was also Josh's favorite pullover and they would often fight about who got to wear the sweater when the two were together.

"I'm conceding. You've won the war. It's yours."

Maya clutched the sweater to her chest, beaming.

"Thank you."

" I didn't just give you my hand me downs for christmas. Your actual gift in the envelope at the bottom of the bag." Josh explained.

Maya pulled out the envelope and ripped the lip of the envelope open. Her eyes went wide when she read the words on the page.

"How did you get these?" Maya asked in utter disbelief. She was holding a pair of tickets to one of her favourite bands, whose tickets were notoriously hard to come by.

" I had some help." Josh admitted. It had actually been Kate, whose brother worked for ticketmaster, who had managed to secure the tickets.

Maya threw her arms around Josh and hugged him tightly to her, feeling even more overwhelmed with the day then she had before.

She let him go, and picked up the thin, almost flat package that she had wrapped for Josh.

"Now i'm embarrassed for you to open this." Maya stated, a blush growing across her cheeks.

Josh took the package from her and neatly peeled up the tape at the corner, rather than just ripping the paper clean off.

He revealed at wrapped sketch of the very house that they were standing in at that moment. The detail of the drawing was incredible and made Josh's breath catch in his chest. The suburban family home that Josh had grown up in came to life in front of him on the page in his hands.

Josh had revealed to Maya a few months ago that, as much as he loved his life in New York, there was a part of him that missed his home in Pennsylvania and felt disconnected from his old life.

Maya had wanted to give him a little piece of his old home for his new one.

" You aren't exactly easy to shop for." Maya explained bashfully.

"This is incredible." Josh stated, still staring transfixed at the drawing in front of him. Maya felt herself blush even deeper.

Josh pulled Maya pack to him and wrapped his arms around her.

"Thank you." Josh stated, pressing a kiss onto the top of Maya's head.

The door to the room they were in came crashing open, causing both Josh and Maya to jump.

Auggie was standing in the doorway.

"Were you guys kissing?" He asked, looking at them with his eyes narrowed.

" No you little dweeb." Maya shot back at him.

" Whatever. Gramma says it's time for lunch." Auggie replied, turning around and heading back down the stairs, shaking his head.

…..

Despite the fact that everyone was still mostly full from breakfast, they all managed to full their plates with slices of cheese, thick cuts of salami, spears of pickles, and small piles of pitless olives.

They didn't bother sitting at the the dining room table, which Amy and reset with extra care for their dinner that night. Topanga, Maya, and Eric had all offered to help her with the settings but Amy had brushed them all away. She'd always been particular about christmas dinner, and if the knifes weren't sitting just straight the whole thing would be ruined.

Instead, they sat down on the couch, on the floor by the coffee table, or at the kitchen counter. They picked away at the lunches and carried on their conversations in too loud voices.

Over the course of the afternoon the volume decreased slightly as christmas fatigue began to settle in. The food for dinner was all prepped and just waiting to be put in the oven or on the stove when the time was right.

Topanga was curled up on a chair by the fireplace, reading one of the books she had been gifted that morning. Shawn and Cory were seated side by side on the couch. They had dozed off at some point while watching a game on tv. Their heads had fallen together, resting against one another. Cory yipping slightly at minute intervals. Alan and Amy had popped out to wish a neighbour merry christmas.

Auggie was preoccupied with all the new items he had inquired that morning, and Riley had disappeared upstairs. Maya assumed that she had decided to take a nap.

" Want to go for a walk?" Josh asked. Maya, who had been sitting at the dining room table trying her best to complete an old crossword that Alan had abandoned, looked up and met his eye.

"Sure" she agreed, pushing back from the table and standing up. They walked out of the kitchen and into the living room towards the front door.

Maya paused at the stairs.

"My hat is upstairs. I'm just going to run up and grab it." she explained, turning on her heels and scampering up the stairs.

When Maya reached the closed door of the room she and Riley were sharing she was surprised that she thought she could hear voices on the other side. She'd thought Riley would be dead asleep in the midst of an epic nap.

Maya eased the door open and saw Riley laying on her stomach on the bed, propped up on her elbows. Her phone was set on the bed before and and when she sees Maya walk in, Riley quickly snatches it up and switches it off speaker, pressing it against her ear instead.

"Who are you talking to?" Maya asked noisily, walking across the room and pulling open her suitcase, rummaging through for wool knit hat.

" It's Bonnie." Riley answers a little too quickly. Maya's eyes narrow, and she can tell by the expression on Rileys face that she's not talking to her roommate. She decides to ignore it. Whoever it is, whatever it is, Riley will tell her in her own time.

Maya unearthed her hat from her suitcase and gave Riley a little wave as she exited the room.

She bounded down the stairs and back to the landing where Josh was waiting for her.

"All set?" He asks, as he handed her her coat.

"Yep." Maya replied happily, taking her jacket and letting Josh help her slide it on.

"We're just going for a walk." Josh says to the room at large. Cory and Shawn remain asleep, and Topanga raises her hand at them, not looking up from her book.

" I want to co-" Auggie started to say as he began to stand up from his place on the floor. Maya shot him a menacing look which caused him to drop immediately back into a seated position.

"Stay right here." He finished, returning to the task of constructing one of the complex toys he'd received.

Maya shot an approving smile at Auggie and turned to walk out of the front door that Josh had just opened for her.

They walked down the front walk, careful not to slip on the patches of ice that dotted the sidewalk.

The air was cold against their exposed faces as they walked. Neither Josh nor Maya had bothered to put on a pair of gloves, although the weather called for them. Maya stuff one of her hands into her coat pocket and the other intertwined with Josh's.

They kept walking until they reached the park at the end of the street. The snowy field and playground equipment were desperate, everyone locked up at home with their families or avoiding the harsh cold.

They romped through the snow towards the rickety old swing set and Maya practically had to beg Josh to push her for a few minutes. He put on a good show about complaining about it, but the goofy smile on his face kind of offset the effect of it.

The cold chain on the swing set stung Maya's hands as she held it. She barely lasted two minutes before having to jump off into the snow.

Her hands were so cold that they shook and tingled as she walked back to where Josh stood behind the swing set.

She slide her hands under Josh's jacket and laced her fingers behind his neck. His skin was warm despite the weather and Maya had to keep herself from sighing with the relief of it. Josh gasped at the feeling of her ice cold skin against his, but he didn't pull away. Instead he wrapped his arms around her waist and pulled her closer to him.

His breath was warm and sweet on her face and Maya wanted to lean into it.

It felt good to be so close to him and not have to worry about who was nearby or who was watching.

Josh reached up to wipe a random snowflake that had fallen into Maya's eye lash away before finally leaning in to kiss her. Maya melted into him. Despite the cold wind whipping around them, and the water seeping into Maya's boots from the melting snow that had worked its way into her shoes when she had landed lightly in the soft snow when she jumped from the swing, Maya didn't feel cold anymore.

Standing there with Josh's arms wrapped around her, and his body pressed against her own, she was flushed with warmth. She'd have been happy to stay there all day.


	85. Chapter 85

Sorry it's been so long since I updated. I've had most of this chapter written since september but I just couldn't seem to pull it together. Thanks for everyone who reviewed and asked for updates! It helps! Very encouraging!

SS 85

The rest of Christmas day melted away and gave into the night. By the time that the dishes from dinner were cleared and dessert had been served, the whole family had collapsed into a near comatose state.

Much like earlier that afternoon they had all spread out across the living room, collapsed into near states of sleep. Auggie was sprawled out in front of the fireplace, his eyes closed as he snored slightly. Hudson had his head on Auggies chest as it rose up and down, the little dogs snore matching the boys.

Maya was sitting on the floor in front of the couch. Riley was sitting behind her, braiding Maya's hair into two neat sections. It was relaxing to feel Riley running her fingers through her hair and pulling it back into tight sections. Eventually, Riley gave up, too tired to get the sections tight and even and instead just twisted Maya's loose hair in her fingers absentmindedly.

Alan and Amy were the first to drift off to bed, waving a sleepy good night and wishing the group a final merry Christmas.

Cory and Topanga weren't far behind.

"Get to bed sleeping beauty," Corry muttered, taping Shawns head, causing him to jolt awake from his spot on the sofa.

" Good night kids," Shawn said through a yawn, giving Maya's head a pat while he headed towards the basement stairs where Cory and Topanga were waiting.

"Should we put him to bed?" Topanga asked, gesturing over to where Auggie was still asleep by the fire.

"Just leave him. He's too big to carry anymore." Cory decided, turning to climb down the stairs and towards his bed.

It was just the 'kids' of the family left awake in the living room. A re-run of Elf that they had already seen that day was still playing quietly on the tv in front of them, the soft glow of the screencasting the room in a pale blue light.

Riley's phone began to buzz on the side of the couch and she quickly got to her feet and snatched it up.

"I've got to take this. I'll see you upstairs." Riley said quickly to Maya before she hurried up the stairs, answering her phone in a hushed tone.

"What's that about?" Josh asked from where he sat on an armchair by the fire. He was reaching out with his foot to rub Hudson's belly.

"I'm not sure. It's not her first mysterious phone call of the weekend." Maya confessed, still looking thoughtfully up at the stairs where Riley had disappeared. Who could her best friend be talking to that she wouldn't want them to know about? Who would be calling her so late at night on Christmas day? Wasn't that past the appropriate time for a seasonal greeting?

Maya shook her head and shrugged.

"I'm sure she'll tell me eventually. Riley's lousy at keeping secrets." Josh nodded. Maya moved up from the floor and onto the couch. She stretched her arms up above her head and tried to stifle her yawn.

" I guess we should head to bed," Maya said, rolling her neck on her shoulders.

" Or" Josh began, the ghost of a mischievous smile growing on his face.

"Or what?" Maya prompted, her interests peaked.

"We could go for another drive," he suggested another call back from Christmas past.

" Who knew that Josh Matthews was such a sucker for tradition." Maya joked, but getting to her feet none the less.

"Let's go." She agreed.

…..

The streets were quiet, just as they had been the previous Christmas when they had left the Matthews house around midnight and climbed into the car with no destination in mind.

Maya found a radio station that was playing something other than Christmas music for a change and turned the volume down low enough that it was just a buzz in the background.

" This is a little different about from last year." Maya joked, pulling up their joint hands that were interlocking on the console between them. Josh laughed.

" Last year I was still trying to play it cool" he replied, shooting her a smile.

" I did freaking doughnuts in a parking lot to impress you." He continued.

" is that what that was?" Maya asked, an amused smile spreading across her face.

" That, and you seemed like you needed a jolt to perk you up." Maya laughed.

" I was a little dark and twisty last Christmas" she admitted, picking at the skin around her thumb.

" I don't think it'll ever get easier," She admitted, thinking of the dozens of Christmas that stretched before her, all of which she would have to face without her mother.

" not having her around. Thinking about everything she's missed. Everything she's going to miss. It doesn't get easier but….. It's like a constant ache. It doesn't hurt any less but you get used to it. You learn to work around it." Maya bite her lip. She rolled down the car window and let the freezing cold air rush in and string the skin of her face.

" I don't want to think about it right now." She finally said in a huff, rolling the window back up and reaching for the volume on the radio.

Neither of them spoke for a few moments, the radio the only sound that filled the car. They drove by the expansive mall, the parking lot of which was completely empty, the ground dusted in a light layer of snow.

"Turn in here." Maya requested suddenly. Josh turned into the vacant parking lot, slowing the car and looking over at Maya with a questioning expression.

" I want to try something." Maya began, undoing her seatbelt and reaching for the door handle.

…..

" Alright, when you're ready, give it some gas and crank the wheel. I'll pull the brake when it's time." Josh encouraged. Maya tightened her grip around the steering wheel, braced herself and put the car in gear.

Despite this being Maya's idea, she suddenly found herself growing nervous. She remembered the feeling of elation she had got in her stomach last year when Josh had sent the car reeling in the snow.

This time she was in control, which also meant that she was the one who had to relinquish it. This was the first time she had ever been behind the wheel of a car. Josh had shown her the basics of driving on a golf cart a handful of months back, but this felt different. This felt real.

Maya took a deep breath and punched the gas. The car flung forward, Maya cranked the wheel the way Josh had shown her, and let out a slight squeal when he pulled the emergency brake and then the car slide out beneath them.

They did the same thing over and over again until the parking lot was covered in wide circles where their wheels had cut into the snow.

As the came to a final halt, both Maya and Josh were doubled over laughing. Maya clutched at her stomach. The adrenaline that coursed through her body made her feel high.

Maya glanced over at Josh and found that he was already looking at her. His face was so full of joy that it made Maya's own heart swell. Maya couldn't help herself, she leaned towards Josh and reached out, grabbing the front of his shirt and pulling his mouth towards hers.

His arms immediately reached out for her. He pulled her out of her seat and towards him. She had to scramble over the center console and bashed her knee on the gear shift, but she didn't care.

Josh had pulled her onto his lap, and she had quickly wound her fingers into his hair. It felt good to be alone together. The house was so full of people that it was hard to catch a moment to be close.

Josh's hands slid under the back of her t-shirt and his hands felt warm against her skin. Maya's own hands slid out of Josh's hair and down the base of his neck, under the collar of his shirt and across his broad shoulders.

A sharp wrap on the passenger side window caused both Maya and Josh to jump slightly and break apart. A bright light shone into their faces and it took a moment for their eyes to adjust. Josh pressed the button to roll down the window and the cold air rushes into the cab of the car, causing Maya's eyes to water.

"Really Matthews? Two years in a row?" It took Maya a moment to understand what was happening. After a second it hit her. The guy leaning down to peer into the car was the same cop who had pulled them over the christmas before. The one that Josh had gone to high school with.

" You run the same game on all the girls?" The guy joked, extending his hand to Josh.

Josh took it, and the two exchanged a friendly handshake.

"Riggs this is Maya, you met her last year," Josh reminded. Maya gave the guy a sheepish smile, feeling very aware of the fact that she was straddling her boyfriend in the front seat of a car in an abandoned parking.

"Wow. I can't believe you managed to lock down a girlfriend all this time." Riggs teased.

" and i'm surprised you've been able to hold down a job this whole time." Josh retorted. Riggs grinned, reaching up to pat the badge on his chest proudly.

"You guys around for New Years? Blythe is throwing a party. You should stop by. Bring whoever you want." He offers, straightening up and giving the top of the car a slap.

" be safe kids." He shouted over his shoulder as he walked back to his cruiser that Maya hadn't even notice park behind them.

"Does he have nothing better to do on christmas?" Maya asked in astonishment.

" He's jewish, so chances are he probably volunteers for this shift." Josh explained, sweeping Maya's hair out of her face and tucking it behind her ear.

" We should probably head back." Maya conceded. Josh sighed, but agreed.

They drove through the snow seat in comfortable silence, their hands locked together and resting on the centre console.

They snuck back into the house, said good night, and headed off to bed.

Maya crawled into bed, careful not to wake up Riley. She fell asleep thinking about Josh and everything she had lost and gained in the past year.


End file.
